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INEVITABLE (KRYBER)amber's sure something's changed.
it's been only a day since she'd last seen her wife--a day after she and krystal finally crossed the line. but for whatever reason, her wife feels like a different person now.
is it amber, or is it suzy?
or is it the spirits work because she has finally embodied her duties to her soulmate?
it's strange, amber thinks. how come her wife's touch on her arm, which she's been familiar with for years, feels foreign to her now?
and when her wife kissed her cheek, she felt... nothing.
"boo, you look different today," suzy comments as they walk out of the airport.
"huh?"
"you seem glowing. what have you been up to yesterday?"
amber looks straight far ahead.
.
it was pure the entire day. with her soulmate.
"uh... just... sleep..." she says. "i slept for sixteen hours."
"oh. so, the llama just hibernated, huh?" suzy chuckles. "yeah. you looked like you really did. you look so fresh. i should sleep too once we get back home."
amber thinks home seems to be a different place to her now.
---
she is a horrible person.
it comes as a passing thought when the asleep suzy unconsciously moves to nuzzle on amber's neck.
amber runs her palm along her wife's back, thinking, feeling the guilt creeping up her body.
it was wrong for her to sleep with another woman. her wife doesn't deserve infidelity.
but is it wrong for someone to sleep with their soulmate? didn't the spirits themselves will it?
and why does it felt so right to do it with krystal?
amber remembers everything vividly; how she held her soulmate, kissed her, touched her, tasted her--everything felt like they were meant to happen.
amber doesn't have much experience with relationships as it's been only suzy since then. but now that she met krystal, she finally sees the huge differences even in the simplest gestures.
like with the way they sleep. why is it that krystal's head seems to fit better in the crook of amber's neck?
how come her hands seem to be molded just to fit krystal's face?
whenever she holds krystal's hands, how did it happen that their fingers perfectly lock like it's their innate function?
it was like they were meant to hold each other, meant love each other.
love.
is it already love or is it just the works of the spirits?
how is it different from the affection she's feeling for her wife?
and what is amber supposed to do? it would be unfair to leave her wife--her lover of ten years, her best friend--just because she found her soulmate. but it will be unfair to krystal too if amber would keep their relationship in the dark.
they can't be forever like that, seeing each other once or thrice a week to sleep together.
which she still plans to do, by the way.
and is actually looking forward to it.
"this can't be happening." amber groans, smacking a fist on her forehead.
she really is a horrible person.
---
"wow." yuri shakes her head as she reclines back on her chair. "for how long now?"
amber couldn't look at her friend straight in the eye after confining what's happening between her and krystal lately.
she wants to keep it to herself but she couldn't bottle it alone anymore. she needs an outlet.
however, she didn't expect that telling yuri the truth would make her feel like she cheated on her friend too.
"for three weeks now..." she admits.
"wow. three weeks." yuri claps. "you must be enjoying with her, huh?"
amber can only shrug, standing there, looking down with a guilty face.
"any plans?" yuri asks.
"i don't know, man. it's hard. i know it's wrong. i know we shouldn't do it. but it feels right whenever we are together."
"yeah. that's what all the cheaters say, buddy."
"you know it's not just cheating between me and krystal." amber frowns. "having her by my side gives me this feeling--this contentment. it's like everything's going to be okay no matter where we are or what we do. i've never felt like that before."
yuri hums, placing her chin on her clasped hands. "question: do you still love your wife?"
"i care for suzy with all my heart."
"but it's different with krystal, isn't it?"
amber nods, looking hopeless.
"and what's her standing on this, your soulmate? is she demanding anything from you like divorcing your wife or something else?" yuri asks.
"no. it's the opposite. she's avoiding the topic like it's a plague. she doesn't want to force me into taking any action. what's important to her is for me to stay."
yuri smiles. "wow. very understanding, huh?"
"but i can feel how she hates it whenever i go home, back to my life, to my wife." amber sighs. "she may not admit it, but i can feel it hurts her. and i hate myself for that."
"really tough." yuri shakes her head. "look, man, i understand what you're going through. it's hard and confusing. i'm not going to scold you and tell you what you need to do. but at this stage, i hope you know there's no more working the relationship out between you and suzy."
"what do you mean?"
"you need to understand that the moment you met krystal, your relationship with suzy is already doomed. you're just prolonging it, man, because you're too nice."
amber furrowed her brows, realizing yuri has a point.
"you can't go against the spirits. they have this magical thread connecting you and krystal," yuri adds. "breaking up and trying to forget each other will be futile. the thread will always find a way to make sure your paths cross. and as days go by, you'll fall deeper and harder for her. it's inevitable."
"then what am i supposed to do?"
"well, you can follow what yiyun did in red rope. she told xiuzhi the truth about xiujing. and even if xiuzhi got mad after the break-up, that's the best yiyun can offer her, the truth."
"the truth." amber looks at her ring finger, running a thumb over her wedding ring. "it's not as easy as it sounds."
"well, another thing you can do is to lie and wait--pun intended." yuri laughs.
amber chuckles. "yah."
"i'm serious tho! sometimes the best approach is to wait for the spirits to intervene. they are the ones who started this in the first place. they control everything, man. one way or another, they will find a way to make sure everything will fall into the right places."
a light bulb pops in amber's head. she points at yuri. "you know what, that's a much easier approach. maybe i should leave it to their spiritual hands, don't you think?"
"it sounds lazy, but... yeah." yuri nods. "i just don't know when exactly are they going to help you. what if it will take them ten years?"
"what! ten years?"
"i'm just saying. we don't know what's up in their heads." yuri taps a finger on her temple. "maybe you should start praying in the temples now for guidance, you know."
"maybe you're right." amber drops on the couch and lies down. "thanks for listening, man. made me feel lighter."
"anytime." yuri smiles. "oh. and by the way, have you already read the email that was sent to team duijack this morning?"
"i haven't. i was too occupied with problems."
"wait. lemme read it now." yuri browses through her laptop. her eyes widen. "holy ! amber!"
"what?"
"come here!"
amber jumps next to her friend and squints her eyes to read the open email in yuri's laptop. "a producer?"
"yeah. they are looking to meet up with team duijack... for..." she continues reading the body of the email. "for a possible project for red rope? animated series?"
amber and yuri turn to look at each other, mouths opened.
"holy ."
"holy schnikes."
---
"don't forget that tea i told you about, okay?"
"i know, boo. i know. i'll look for it right away once we land in new york."
amber chuckles. "thanks. so, how was the meeting?"
"miss krystal showed me the reports. i'm happy with the progress of my investments so far. you could have come a bit earlier so you can see her."
"it's fine. yuri and i were on a conference call too."
"ah. yeah. are you doing that meeting with the producer tomorrow?"
"yes, we will. yuri and i already confirmed. we'll meet up tomorrow at nine."
"then i wish you luck." suzy fixes amber's bangs. "anyway, we'll have two days overlay, so you be a good llama, okay? no junk foods and don't play too much video games."
"yes. yes. yes." amber keeps nodding. "you take care. call me tomorrow as soon as you landed. i love you."
"yup. take care, boo. i love you too."
once suzy's out of sight, amber pulls out her phone and calls the contact with the iceberg profile picture.
"princess," she says the moment the call got picked up. "are you still around? i'm free to go now."
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