Trigger warning-> mention of suicide

“Were you trying to make Jongwoon hear the entire conversation?” Jaehyuk asked as soon as he came out of the room.

“No,” Siwon said.

“Well, he heard.”

“And what was his reaction?” Heechul asked.

“What do you expect?” 

“Not friendly?” Heechul continued.

Jaehyuk nodded his head.

“How are his wounds? Does he really not have to go to the hospital?” Donghae asked, he was fidgeting.

“No, he doesn’t have to well *paused* he wouldn’t have gone in the first place either.

His thigh wounds would be fine in 2-3 days, his shoulder will take a while to heal but it’s nothing he can’t handle, just help him out.”

All members nodded understanding the instructions.

Jaehyuk was leaving when Leeteuk voiced out.

“Jaehyuk-ssi, What will happen if we report the accident?”

“Are you asking me an opinion as his doctor or as his cousin?”

“Both.”

“It will not be a pleasant outcome. Whatever or however you try to convince him he will not utter anything. I had tried it before, it didn’t work. What did happen when I tried to force resulting him not taking his meds and causing more harm to himself then good.”  

“Jaehyuk-ssi you said that he harmed himself? What do you mean by that?” Shindong asked looking worried.

“it’s just like I said, it’s mostly aftermath from a trauma, Jongwoon was receiving beatings and degrading words thrown at him for a long period of time and even after he had gone away. Jongwoon couldn’t function without receiving anything as a backlash so as a result, he found methods in self-harming himself. I didn’t know it when he came for the second time, at first I assumed he was trying to fix his insomnia but gradually he told me when I found him once trying to ..”

[flashback]

Aunty had invited me to dinner but it was more of an excuse to check Jongwoon out, so I went up to his room to call him and the site really terrified him and to this day haunts him. Jongwoon was blankly staring at a handful of pills in his hand and ready to swallow them all. 

It was literally a miracle I had arrived just in time to see it and slapped the pills away.

“JONGWOON!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?” I shouted at him

And he just stared at me with those same blank eyes those shiny eyes lost somewhere.

“Hy..yung g I am just so tired..dd. I j.just wan.nt it to go awayy” he broke down in front of me. I still didn’t know what was going on.

 I went closer to him and hugged him but when I felt that his body was too hot and when I touched his forehead, he shivered with the touch but I knew he had a fever.

I was going to call the hospital but he gripped me, he was barely holding on

“Hyung, no .. h hospital. And don’t tell eomma” and he collapsed soon after. 

I did as he told me, I monitored him for the night and told aunty that will look after him, she wanted him to get admitted but I somehow convinced her.

[flashback ends]

All the members were shocked

“W-wait hyung tried to commit ?” Ryeowook said with tearing filling his eyes.

“He couldn’t hold on any longer, when he woke up after his fever subsided he told me everything and also showed me the bruises. They were terrifying and I really just wanted to then go and catch the person who did that but Jongwoon begged me to stay away or else he would do it again. I couldn’t do anything if I forced my way through and at that time when he was so fragile anything could have finished him. He couldn’t really function without meds any longer, the nightmares were consuming him from the inside out and he was literally losing himself.”

“Wait then at that day” Kyuhyun interrupted,

“What day? Kyu?” Eunhyuk asked.

“I came back early to the dorm as my schedule was canceled there wasn’t anywhere there except Yesung hyung and he was yelling in his sleep, I woke him up and he looked more terrified of me. I asked him what was wrong but he shrugged it and I never saw hyung like that again so I never brought it up again” Kyuhyun said and realizing the mistake he made of not noticing those tiny gestures. 

“Jongwoon, that kid will always look after others before himself, he would never want to trouble you guys. That day the reason why he didn’t want to go to the hospital was …”

“Because the doctors would find hyung’s bruises and it will lead to a scandal,” Ryeowook said with tears falling down his face.

“Ryeowook-ssi is right. That was the main reason, he didn’t want to trouble you then and he still won’t ask for help today either.”

“Jaehyuk-ssi, you mentioned Jongwoon condition improved?” Leeteuk said his eyes staring at the closed door.

“After hanjae left, Jongwoon was having trouble singing, he couldn’t sing anymore without his voice cracking and it terrified him a lot.”

“But why?” Siwon asked “I mean out of all us we all respect Hyung’s voice and consider it the best”

“The members do but not for the general public, for them he looked like an idol who couldn’t sing anymore which means he should quit, he read a lot of comment about it and especially his stage name. the comments were ugly and he found them as the truth. I tried everything, therapies, sessions it wasn’t working and his career wasn’t helping him relax, he was being attacked from all sides so one day he told me he wanted to enlist. I was shocked but he told me he couldn’t go on any longer and right then he just wanted to escape the industry life.”

“I remember that day, we were all gathered in the dorm together and were drinking when Yesung hyung broke the news that he would enlist 3 days later,” Eunhyuk said.

“Was he f-fine there?” Heechul asked nervously.

“I won’t say he was fine but he was getting better, there he didn’t need to worry about anything so he gradually was improving I visited him once a while to check on him and he was getting better and better. After he came back, he would still get 1 or 2 attacks but that was about it.”

“And then the creep came out and ruined him,” Kyuhyun said, he was angry I mean who could do that to our precious hyung like that. The one who always has looked after us but we never truly tried to look after him.

“That’s why I am asking you all to look after him but at the same time don’t force him.”

Jaehyuk eyed the door and to the members before leaving the dorm.

An uncomfortable tension hung in the air, members didn’t know what to do. After hearing everything and letting the works sank into them. One thing for sure what the members felt was pure remorse and guilt towards Yesung. 

“Teukie hyung. The call should I?” Siwon asked

“Let’s ask Yesung first.” He replied.

“What will you do if he says no?” 

“Regardless of his answer, we still need to ask him.”

“Hyung.” Ryeowook said looking towards Teukie hyung, his eyes all red after the crying.

“Wait for tomorrow.”

Leeteuk didn’t say but nodded.

“Heechul, what are you going to do right now?” Leeteuk faced him.

“I will stay here for today, I am going to cancel my schedules for a week now.”

“But won’t you get in trouble?” Leeteuk asked in a concerned tone.

“Yesungie deserves