There’s only one woman in the photo, in a group of seven people. That is unmistakably her face, but Jihyo doesn’t know these people. As much as she tries, they are blank in her mind. 

But she is not entirely at a loss. Jongkook is there, grinning away. So is the angry man from the other day, Sechan’s hyung — Donghoon? That’s definitely him, holding up a stuff toy. He has a nametag pinned on his shirt, though it doesn’t say Donghoon, but two simple words: Ha Ha. She’s confused, yet nothing pops up in her head and it’s frankly getting frustrating.

She squints, examining the photo like it’s a puzzle. There’s another name tag on the man beside her. Gary. The same one from her memories, the man’s carefree tone still fresh in her mind. He’s the one she remembered when Somin and Sechan were bickering in front of her, acting like two childish siblings.

Another weird observation: the tallest man at the back, with his face distorted while the men disturb him — she’s seen his face before. In fact, she’s seen that face barely days ago while watching that drama boxset Somin bought for her for Christmas. His hair is probably longer, and it’s hard to tell when multiple hands are blocking his face, but she swears it’s him. 

So what? Does she know him too? His role in the drama wasn’t very big, maybe a small cameo. Perhaps he’s just a ordinary person who got his two seconds of fame. And what does that make Song Joongki and the weird flashback she had, crying while he wiped her tears? 

Jihyo stares and stares at the photo and their faces, until she starts to go cross-eyed and her mind begins to swirl—

“Noona, I bought you some coffee.” The man says, his voice cheerful. 

“What kind?” She finds herself asking. “Iced americano?”

“Yeah.” He hands her the cup, still cold. “I paid for it and you’re asking me for options? Buy your own cup next time!”

“I didn’t ask for coffee, you brat.” She scoffs, hitting him on the head naturally like she would to Seongmoon. “Komawo, Kwangsoo yah.”

The man she calls Kwangsoo rolls his eyes fondly, grinning. “ Of course, noona. I figured you’d need it for the long shoot we have ahead of us.”

Jihyo blinks again, and just like that, the short memory is over. Okay, that felt too real, like it happened to her a long time ago... It’s not the first time she’s getting a flashback, the feeling so similar now. She can’t be imagining things, not anymore. 

Lastly, she glances at the woman in the photo.

She’s smiling, way too brightly for her liking. Her hair is pulled back so she looks younger, almost like a stranger to her own face. The weirdest part has to be the clothes — a uniform, even though they are all adults and definitely too old to pass off as students. 

Who is that? 

The fact that she has no answer makes close up, anxiety rising in her chest. She could scream out of frustration, but it’s not like anyone can hear. Not to mention the escalating fear in her mind as the pounding in her head intensifies.

If Jongkook is hiding something like this in his room... He’s been lying to her for a month. Despite it all, she trusted him and he has been leading her on for too long. She should have known the day he met her that he was a person from her past. All the slip ups, the way he poured his time and energy into making her comfortable in a house that she could not pay for. 

Does Somin know? She has to. Sechan too, and definitely Donghoon, if that’s even his real name. Ha Ha. Gary. Whoever those people are in that stupid photo. 

She feels like a fool. 

Suddenly, it doesn’t feel safe to be in this room, let alone this house. What else is this man hiding from her? Why would he pretend not to know her? The questions are churning in her mind, making her dizzy; she hates it when she has to think too hard. 

So what does she do now?

Seongmoon is not an option. With the taste of freedom, she does not want to go back to him. Somin will tell Jongkook everything, likewise with Sechan. 

You need to ask him. The nagging voice come back again. Don’t run, make him confess.

She should stop running. It does not do her any good either way. If she wants to regain her memories, she needs to stop avoiding the questions in her head and start asking for answers. 

Jihyo picks up the photo again, eyeing the smiling woman in it. She’s young, carefree and happy. What happened? Why is she unable to remember?

She needs to find out.

Jongkook comes home at three am, still in his tux. 

He creeps quietly in, trying not to make a sound. It’s late, and Jihyo must be sleeping. At first, he didn’t want to go to the after party, but Ha Ha was very insistent — he knows his dongsaeng is still angry at him, so he had to show him he could have a good time. 

Imagine his shock when he finds her sitting in the dark, the moonlight through the windows the only source of light in the living room.

“Jihyo?” He calls, hesitant. “You shouldn’t have stayed up.” 

“I... I have to talk to you.” She pauses, looking him up and down. “Why are you in a tux?”

“Um.” He’s not completely sober, so his mind races to find a believable explanation.

“Don’t lie.” Jihyo stops him and he freezes, confused. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I know.”

“You... What?” Please say she only knows he forgot to buy the milk she asked for, please say—

“I know you are familiar with my past.” She reconfirms his worst nightmare, her eyes wild and hurt. “You know me. You lied and said you knew Seongmoon, but I know you and I were friends before.” 

Jongkook stays quiet, still searching for something reasonable to lie to her once more. She can’t have figured it out so easily. No, he’s done everything to make sure she doesn’t find out. How did she piece this all together? Was she having flashbacks? Did she regain her memory while staying here already?

Then Jihyo slips him a photo, and his face pales. Oh. He remembers taking that out of the box, reminiscing the past that fateful Christmas Day when they had their snowball fight. There’s no lying his way out of this one, no explanation for how he can be pictured in a photo with her. 

"You were in my room?"

"It doesn't matter." The quiver in her voice breaks his heart even more than it should. "Who are you, Jongkook ssi? Where do you run off to everyday?"

"I... To work..." It stings, the way she returns back to formalities.
 

"Stop lying, please." She pleads; she cannot keep hearing the lies and stories anymore. "Did you know me or not?"

“Yes.” He admits softly, eyes downcast as he bows his head. The game is up. “I did know you.”

He looks for a sign of anger, her infamous temper coming to mind. Instead, he finds disappointment and hurt, and it’s a million times worse than he expected. 

She looks down at the photo, her mind a blank even with the evidence presented so clearly in front of her. She knew he’d admit to it after she showed him this, but now what? Jongkook used to know her; she’s been living in his apartment for weeks and calling him oppa, trusting him and talking to his friends, his “colleagues”. Were they even working together? Or just some actors he hired? What even is the truth anymore?

"What happens now?" She asks, simply because she doesn't know what to say. "Why did you hide this from me?"
 

"I... I know you're upset. Mad, even." Jongkook hesitates, unsure himself. He'll need time to explain. "I'm not sure if whatever I say will be enough to cover it..."

“Tell me.” Jihyo whispers. She can’t seem to find anger in her, just acceptance, like she’s known all this while that the people she seemed to trust were feeding her lies. “Tell me everything you know about my life.”

Jongkook pauses. He should have done this a long time ago, but instead he let his heart get the better of him. What if she hates him after all this? He’s nervous, but she’s watching him expectantly.

“I met you as Song Jihyo.” He starts off, his voice low. There’s no hiding anymore, no more secrets. “We met in 2009, then later again in 2010.” 

Song Jihyo. The man named Donghoon, his name tag Ha Ha in the picture; he called her that and despite all the signs, she let Somin convince her otherwise. 

As if he heard her thoughts, Jongkook nods. “Donghoon did call you that. He’s mad at me for not telling anyone else that I found you, mad at me for bringing Somin into this.” He shakes his head. “He was right.”

“I... Why did we meet?”

“You are an actress.” He answers, then corrects himself, “Were. Hundreds of thousands of fans screamed your name at fan meetings and watched your dramas, and mourned when you disappeared.”

Perhaps she’s immune to shock, because she doesn’t feel as surprised as she should. 

“I’m a singer.” Jongkook explains, gesturing to his suit. “Um... and I don’t usually dress like this, I promise.”

“But you still go to a gym.” 

He doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Well... Yes.”

“We’re celebrities.” Jihyo says, the word so foreign to her. She’s famous. Oh god. “That’s why you asked if I recognized you. Not because I should have, but because you’re well known.”

“Yeah.” Jongkook confirms awkwardly. “We met on a variety show, Family Outing. You were a guest, and I was one of the cast members. Years later, I met you again on Running Man when you became a permanent host.” 

He doesn’t stop there. He tells her about Song Jihyo, the Ace she was. How she jumped off the Macau tower without batting an eyelid. Won missions for them even though she was the only female member. Countless of times when she proved her worth over and over again, showed that she wasn’t scared of anything (except bugs), and took care of the members and guests on and off screen.

Through it all, Jihyo stays quiet. It’s like listening to a podcast, or better yet, hearing the synopsis of a drama. Except this is her life, but she can’t remember any of it — like the drive she’s trying to access is corrupted, a computer that doesn’t work. 

Jongkook doesn’t pause for a moment, not even when his throat is aching and begging for some form of liquid to quench his thirst. He can’t stop himself, otherwise there would be no going back. He tells her about the other members, the five of them in the photo. Jaesuk, who’s like the leader of them, always keeping them grounded. Sukjin, the oldest member, but still able to somewhat keep up with them. 

Donghoon she has seen before; he doesn’t say much about how strained their relationship has been lately. Kwangsoo, who was once the maknae but isn’t anymore. 

“He was probably the closest to you.” Jongkook admits, watching her eyes dart back down to the picture. “He took your disappearance very seriously.”

Jihyo’s face softens, but she doesn’t say anything. 

He keeps some things from her, like how Kang Gary is uncontactable but still running around on television. When the time is right, she will watch their relationship unravel on screen for herself to decide. 

Jongkook spills everything, from the first time he met her all the way to that fateful day by the Han River. He tells her about Seongmoon’s visit to the set, how her brother told them the real story about her disappearance.

“You’re not the only one I’ve hurt.” He confesses, his throat dry. “I haven’t told them, only Donghoon. They will be even more disappointed than you are, and I’m sorry for that.”

It’s very late now. Jihyo looks up at the clock, startled by the time. Five am. He’s been talking for two hours non stop, all these things about her life and the woman she once was. There is pain in his eyes, regret and guilt for hiding so much from her. 

She should be furious. Fuming and enraged at him, even. Instead, she stands, leaving him confused while she heads to the kit