The notebook stays on her mind for days. 

Jihyo isn’t usually so obsessive over things. Not much can hold her interest for long; definitely not pop culture or trends. This cursed notebook hiding in her closet though, it lingers in her head and tempts her of its presence. 

Only one question remains: does Jongkook still like her? 

It would better if he doesn’t. Things wouldn’t be so awkward and she wouldn’t have to think about how she’s living with a man who is in love with her. He may not know now, but one day she has to tell him about the notebook. Or at least confess about reading it before she slips up and accidentally tells him.

She doesn’t stress about this for days until Somin reveals something unexpected and now she’s worrying over it way worse than before. 

They are chatting on her new phone, all set up by Jongkook. He taught her how to function it and she catches on pretty quickly. It’s nice to have one again, even though she’s not much of a technology user. 

“I wish I could come visit.” Somin sighs, and Jihyo doesn’t have to see the younger actress to know she’s pouting already. 

“It’s fine, Somin.” Jihyo smiles. She’d always have a soft spot for her. “That’s why we can talk on the phone, right?”

“Ah, unnie. I’m so glad Jongkook oppa gave you a phone! I mean, I was happy for oppa when he won the prize. I’m sure most of us suspected him anyway.”

“Then how did he win?”

“We were too scared to confront him alone...”

“That sounds about right.” Jihyo laughs, thinking of poor Somin and Sechan and possibly Ha Ha getting spooked. She might have to watch that episode when it comes out on Sunday. 

Turns out when you’re binge watching on shows you have a vague memory of, time flies by very fast. She’s nearly halfway there, Kang Gary still throwing cheesy one liners at her and Jongkook terrifying all of them.

Some things just don’t change. 

Somin continues, giggling softly. “I’m really happy for oppa, but I’m surprised he picked a new phone.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well...” Somin hesitates. Did Jongkook not tell Jihyo? “He could choose between a brand new iPhone or a new television, but he picked the former even though the TV would have been more expensive... I guess he thought of you.”

“Did he now?” Jihyo wonders, her heart beating quickly against her chest. No, it’s probably a coincidence. He already had a TV, he didn’t need another one... That must be why. He didn’t think about her or anything; just him being nice. 

Or maybe... He still has feelings for her...

Stop thinking about the goddamn letter! 

“Anyway!” Jihyo moves on quickly, attempting to shut down her hyperactive mind. “How is work?”

“It’s good! I started filming my new drama this week.”

“Oh... You must be busy, Somin ah. I can’t wait to see it!”

“Thank you, unnie!” Somin exclaims, definitely beaming into the phone. “Do you miss it?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you miss acting?”

“Um...” She’s never really thought about it. There’s a hazy memory of her on set, maybe a few costars, but it’s still surreal to think that she was once a celebrity. “Maybe. I miss having something to do.”

“Oh.” Somin says. Perhaps she shouldn’t have reminded her. It’s a risk enough to go out, never mind about Seongmoon’s plan, but the thought of someone recognizing her would be enough of a shock. “Don’t worry, unnie. You’ll be fine in oppa’s apartment.”

“Sure.” Jihyo agrees absentmindedly. For some reason, she can’t find it in her to tell Somin about Jongkook’s strange, happy mood the other day. She should tell someone about the letter, or maybe ask for advice... But she doesn’t want to reveal anything yet. It should remain a secret hurried to the grave unless Jongkook himself brings it up.

Instead, she distracts Somin with another question. “Are you going to tell me more about your drama or do I have to watch to find out?”

“You’ll have to watch like the rest of them.” Somin grins cheekily. It’s so nice to talk to someone else about work without having to hide! “We could watch it together when it airs, if you like.”

“No, no, I’m sure you would want to watch it with your cast mates.”

“That’s true.” Somin agrees. There’s some chatter in the background. “Sorry, unnie. I have to go, but we’ll catch up soon?”

“Of course. Bye, Somin ah. Fighting!” 

“Thanks and bye, unnie!”

Jihyo hangs up the phone with the unsuspecting younger woman, sighing deeply. Why didn’t she tell her about the vacation? She’s been thinking about it all week after her awkward encounter with Jongkook. She was supposed to tell Somin, then ask for advice on how to proceed...

Instead, she pretended like everything was fine. No letter, no secrets. 

Jihyo stares at the phone again, her mind whirling. Jongkook didn’t really get this for her, did he? He could have picked the television for his mother... It’s not like he owes her anything — she’s the one who does. He’s generous and warm-hearted, yet it doesn’t mean that she should make use of his kindness. Anyway, he doesn’t like her romantically; he made it abundantly clear that they are friends. Nothing more! 

So why doesn’t he act like it?

It gets worse over the week when she meets up with Byul. 

She’s becoming fast friends with the singer (as if she wasn’t already before), which meant she saw Ha Ha and his family a lot more than she intended to. They are a fun bunch, especially the children, so it does help distract her mind from all the unnecessary thoughts she’s been having lately.

It doesn’t completely stop her from asking  questions though.

“So...” Goeun starts, one arm carrying a fussy Song and the other hand holding a spoon full of smashed carrots. “Jongkook oppa won a phone for you.”

“Yeah.” Jihyo tries not to wince. Not this again. 

“You probably tried to reject him when he gave it to you.” 

“How did you—“

“We were friends before.” Goeun grins, settling Song down on her lap. “That’s really nice of him. He treats you very well.”

“He does?” Jihyo panics slightly. “Is that bad?”

“No, no. Of course not.” Goeun laughs. “I’m just happy to see it. He doesn’t have much female friends, you know.” 

“I know.” Jihyo answers drily. 

“Then it’s nice that you are his friend.” Goeun points out, feeding Song a spoonful. Out of the corner of her eye, she’s trying to spot a reaction from Jihyo. Sue her for being curious about their relationship! 

“Mmm.”

It’s a disappointing answer (or lack of it), but Byul says nothing. Perhaps Ha Ha is right and she’s really reading too much into it. 

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, unnie.” Goeun brightens up — perhaps all hope isn’t lost!

“Do you know any of oppa’s past lovers?”

Ooh, a juicy question. Byul tries not to look excited as she turns her head over to feed her daughter another spoonful, hiding her smirk. “Hmm... Oppa’s had a few that I know off. But they were all a really long time ago.”

“Oh. So no one recent?”

“None that I know of.”

Damn it. Jihyo nods nervously, trying not to bite on her fingernails. This was not helping her case at all. What if Jongkook still has feelings for her? What kind of man says he wants to get married on television and promises his mother but doesn’t act on it? 

“Oppa doesn’t really get out much. He’s always at the gym, and then at work.” Goeun adds. Maybe Jihyo just needs a little push. Or Jongkook does, and she can leave that to her husband. “He’s shy around women. It’s always better if he got together with someone he already knew.”

“Huh?”

“He could find love with a friend.” Goeun hints even further, sounding nonchalant to hide her own excitement. “We always tell him to look in front of him before it’s too late.”

Jihyo looks away, silent. A friend? Before it’s too late? Everything sounded like the letter; there’s no way she can just pretend like she never read it anymore. She wonders if she should tell Byul what she saw. But... She’d tell Ha Ha, who would tell Jongkook. 

Realizing that she still owes Byul a response, she feigns a chuckle. “That’s true. And he can’t look around if he’s only ever at the gym.”

Byul laughs at their joke, sniggering. “Unless she’s a pretty, single woman from the gym.” 

Jihyo chuckles right back, but for some reason, Byul’s comment leaves a stabbing jolt to her heart. As if he’d meet someone in the gym when he’s always running home. She shakes it off, trying not to think of Jongkook at the gym lifting weights with a mysterious woman. 

Every other person she’s talked to is only making her suspect Jongkook even more. He might very well still hold feelings for her. Even though she’s been missing for years and only recently found, he might not have gotten over it. 

Suddenly, the realization that Jongkook might still like her becomes very sobering. She’s always been dense and mong when it comes to suitors, but this is different. He is not only one of the few people she trusts, but also the only one she can rely on now.

There’s nowhere to run to if he’s still in love with her.

A week later, Jongkook takes Jihyo out for breakfast at eight in the morning, forgoing his own gym time.

“You’re acting weird, oppa.” Jihyo comments, as if she hasn’t been actively trying to act normal the past few weeks. 

“No I’m not.” He quips back, smiling. “You shouldn’t sleep until noon anyway. It’s not good for your body.”

“How would you know?” She flushes, embarrassed.

“Just follow me.” His smile only widens. “Feel free to bring anything.”

It’s a strange request, but Jihyo takes her phone with her and nothing else. If she misses out on something, it’s his own fault. Who wakes a person so early in the morning and demands her to go somewhere with him? Only a kidnapper would do that! 

It’s only in the car when she realizes he’s not really bringing her out for breakfast.

“Oppa, where are we going?”

“Breakfast.” 

“You’re driving us to get breakfast?”

“... Yeah.”

Jihyo scrutinizes his face, suspicious. “Where?”

“Um... Incheon?”

“Oppa! That’s really far away! What are we really doing?” 

“Okay, you got me.” He really should have planned this out better. She’s still got that sharp observation skills from filming Running Man... “We’re flying somewhere.”

“Oh, oppa. You didn’t...” She mumbles, starting to get nervous.

“Yup, I did.” Jongkook can’t hold back the smile any longer. “And it’s a surprise.”

“But... What about your schedules?”

“I don’t film Running Man for two weeks, which is plenty of time for us to travel.”

“The gym?”

He scoffs, turning to face her for a brief second before looking back to the road. “I don’t work there, you know. Anyway, there’s a gym at— at the place we’re going to.”

“Oppa! We can’t just leave—“ 

“Come on, Jihyo. You said a vacation sounded nice and I really need to get away from work. Won’t you come along with me?” He all but begs, pleading her.

She shouldn’t be doing this. She’s been talking to Somin and Goeun, but nothing can ease her mind into believing that Jongkook no longer had feeling for her. His actions never matched his words, and now that he’s sponsoring a trip for her...

Jihyo doesn’t know if she can survive this vacation. She really has to talk to him about his feelings. 

“I don’t even have clothes. Or a luggage.” She counters weakly.

“We can buy more there. That’s what vacations are about, right?”

“What if it’s cold? I only have this coat—“

“It’s not, trust me.”

“—and isn’t it expensive? I shouldn’t be taking your money—“

“We really shouldn’t be having this discussion again.” Jongkook frowns, shaking his head. “Don’t worry so much, Jihyo. It’s all fine. I cleared my schedule and my manager Gapjin thinks I’m flying for vacation by myself. I’ve been saving up vacation days for so long, it’s about time I take a break from work.”

“You could have at least told me instead of tricking me out of the house.” Jihyo finally stops finding excuses, slumping back into the chair with her arms folded. Kidnapping! 

“And let you argue with me until we miss the flight? I don’t think so.” He smirks. “If it’s any consolation, you’d love where we’re going. The skies are pretty and everything is perfect.”

He doesn’t even have to continue for her mind to realize where he’s taking her to.

LA.

He’s taking her to Los Angeles, city of angels. Oh god, he’s taking her to the place he frequently wrote about in the notebooks. 

She has to tell him. She has to. She promised herself when she first suspected it a week ago. Jihyo bites down on her lower lip, wondering if she can wake up from this nightmare before it begins. Nope, fully awake. There’s no other reason but to tell him about the letter and notebook. 

“How do you know I’ll love it there?” Jihyo shoots back, only because she’s trying to ignore her thumping heart. 

“I guarantee you it will be so amazing that you won’t spend the entire day in the hotel sleeping away.” 

She flushes, embarrassed by the prediction so true to her personality and close to what he’d written in the notebook. “I... I didn’t even tell Somin.”

“It’s fine, she’s busy with her new drama.” He shrugs. “You don’t have to share everything with her.”

“But—“

“But nothing.” Jongkook cuts in, exasperated. “Seriously, Jihyo. Everything’s been taken care of.”

She can sense that he won’t back down, so she shuts and tries to resist the urge of asking him a million more questions. LA is miles away, not to mention a whole different time zone. He must have paid a heavy fee just to fly them both, plus the accommodations and clothes... Oh, she can never repay him at this rate. Added on from the hundreds, if not thousands, that she’s taken from him over a month now.

“You know, other girls would be happy to get a free vacation.” He fills the silence, eyeing her from the corner of his eyes.

“I’m not like most girls.” She replies, looking out of the window. “I don’t want to owe anyone what I can’t pay back.”

“You’re paying me with your presence.” Jongkook reasons, a statement so casual he doesn’t even notice her staring at him while he’s paying attention to the roads. “I’ll be lonely if I went alone.”

“And I wonder why you don’t have a girlfriend...”

“Sure, Jihyo yah. Well, I know how much you hate waking up early, so why don’t you get some shut eye before we reach the airport? I’ll wake you up.” He promises, ignoring her jab.

“What if I never wake up?”

“Nice try, I’m still flying us out of Seoul, whether you’re conscious or not.”

So much for trying. Jihyo takes a deep breath, then closes her eyes. Might as well take advantage of the car ride and take a quick power nap. 

And maybe, just maybe, she’ll have a clearer head to decide whether to tell him about the notebook or not. 

-

Seongmoon is just starting up his laptop, when his phone rings. It’s still early, not even their arranged timing — why would he be getting a call now?

Annoyed, he answers it. “This wasn’t our agreed schedule.”

“Mr Cheon?” The other end is calm and unbothered by his irritated tone. “We have a problem.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Kim Jongkook is at Incheon airport.”

Probably flying off for a schedule. “And?”

“I can’t tell, but he has a woman with him.”

Seongmoon sits up in his seat, his curiosity piqued. “Who is it?”

“I don’t know, sir. But he is flying off soon. The counter he’s at is for a flight to LA via Korean Air.” 

“Follow him.”

“Mr Cheon, I can’t—“

“I’ll pay you double.” Seongmoon pledges, his mind in a fury. “I’ll even pay for the accommodation and flight. We can discuss even further when you get back.”

There’s a pause, then a reluctant acceptance. “Alright, sir. I will get photos of the woman he’s with, double of the agreed rate we settled on last week.”

A hefty fee coming out of his own pocket, but he’ll deal. He has his own source of income, no need for his sister’s non-existent will. After he finds her, everything will