Right after the dishes are done and Hyeseon finally convinces her son not to drive her home, Jongkook is exhausted. He’s tired from a day of shooting and entertaining his mother, but also very apologetic. 

“I’m sorry about my mother, Jihyo. I didn’t know she was going to come.”

“It’s alright, oppa.” Jihyo stops, hesitating. “She was probably worried for you. You never seem to leave the house except for the gym and your schedules.”

“Oh? So you’d rather I leave the guest here alone?” He teases. “So you can snoop in my room again?”

“I told you, I was helping you clean! Because I lost!” She defends herself sheepishly. “How was I to know you were hiding my whole life from me?”

“Okay, okay — don’t need to get all snappy with me.” Jongkook holds his arms up, smirking. “I just don’t have a lot of schedules now, that’s all.”

Hmm. That could be possible. She says nothing, only putting on a blank expression.

“Didn’t know you weren’t pleased with my company.” He continues. “Would you rather talk to Somin and Sechan?”

“They are my friends.” She shrugs. “My only friends now because the rest don’t know I’m alive.”

“Technically, they were my friends first. You just stole them.” 

“Yah! Oppa, you know I’d get along just fine with them if we continued the show.”

“Really? You never showed emotions when we were filming with younger dongsaengs. Always mong, you really were. Not an ounce of reaction of whether you liked your colleagues or not!” 

“That’s not true!” Jihyo protests, flustered. How dare he? She was a good noona and unnie! They’ve been watching enough episodes to know too, the brief stint with young, bubbly Lizzy, an idol singer. “Remember when I made sure Lizzy could join in when we were deciding where to go to after filming? She was underaged and Donghoon oppa only wanted to go drinking! The poor girl, she was so awkward and shy outside shooting that I— what’s with that look?”

She stops short, puzzled. Jongkook is looking back at her, his jaw dropped, like she just insulted him and his entire family (having met his mother, she would never dare to do that). 

“You... You remembered.” He stammers, shock apparent in his eyes.

“Huh?”

“When we kidnapped Lizzy.” He repeats, still surprised. “You remembered something that wasn’t in the show.” 

“I did? Oh my god, I did.” Jihyo stares up at him, her face frozen. She can’t stop now, not when the memories are swirling in her mind like a overflowing tank. “Lizzy said that her manager didn’t allow her to stay past shooting time, so we all lied and told him it was for a shoot. Then we piled in Kwangsoo’s manager’s van and headed to Ha Ha’s restaurant.”

“She was so deliriously happy, I felt bad for her!” He can hardly believe his ears. “But when we got there—“

“—and Gary oppa’s telling us that Lizzy’s management had called the PDs and found out, so technically it was like we kidnapped the poor girl and—“

“—Jaesuk hyung called them back to tell them to let the girl off for one night and he’ll personally oversee that she’ll go back in one piece.” Jongkook finishes, smiling as Jihyo nods frantically in agreement. “Oh, Jihyo. You remembered.”

“I... I didn’t even realize, oppa.” Jihyo’s still grinning, happiness clouding her thoughts. It doesn’t last long though. Something else hits her, a wave of nostalgia and a memory she can’t quite dive into. “And later when we met Lizzy again after all those years and she brought that night up... Oh, I can’t remember what she said.”

“That’s okay.” Jongkook reassures her before the smile can disappear. She was the most beautiful when her lips curved upwards in the genuine way it looked now. “She told us that she always wanted to thank you for trying to include her.”

“Oh.” Jihyo murmurs, remembering the sweet, young girl. Lizzy was a fine addition, just too different from the members to make much impact. She always felt sorry that she couldn’t stay longer to warm up to the show or the oppas... Never Mind. She found her path in the end. “That was kind of her.”

“It was just you, always adopting female guests and taking care of them.” Jongkook shakes his head, chuckling. “Wow. I should argue with you more, huh?”

“You’re just annoying, oppa.” Jihyo laughs, and he swears his heart flutters. 

Beautiful, sincere, and real. Song Jihyo in all her glory like she’d never left, worrying all over him before bickering like they were children. Kindhearted as the day they met, remembering Lizzy, of all people. She was decades younger than most of them and so desperately struggling to fit in... Only Jihyo saw the good in her, took care of the poor child with the grace of a tender unnie. 

He his lips, struggling to find the words to tell her that he’ll do whatever it takes to get her back. “My mother is right, you know.”

“Hmm?”

“You will get better.” He says, optimistic as ever. “If that wasn’t proof that you’re doing great already, I know you’ll be regaining your memories in no time.” 

It’s the soft gaze he gives her that stuns her more than his words. He always had a way of speaking that made her flustered — he’s a singer, after all. Did he do this to all his girlfriends? She wouldn’t know. Perhaps if she remembered one of them...

“Then she’s not only right about one thing.” Jihyo says quickly before she can think any deeper.

“What do you mean?”

“She’s also right that you shouldn’t be opening your doors to any random woman on the streets.” She sighs, referring to herself. “How are you going to go out and date if you have me?”

“First of all, you’re not a random woman. You’re my friend.” Jongkook points out. “Secondly, I’m not interested in dating now.”

“Why not? Even Sechan and Somin agree that you are.”

“They what? I’m going to scold them next Monday—“

“No, oppa. You shouldn’t let me hinder your love life.” She cuts him off nervously, the letter fresh in her mind. Oh, this was not going well. “I... I should go. Do you think Somin has a room for me? Ah, I shouldn’t ask too much of her. A job? I could—“

“Stop.” Jongkook interrupts, and Jihyo actually does. “I’ve told you before, and I’ll tell you again: You don’t have to feel bad about staying here because we’re friends.” 

Are they? Jihyo thinks, exhausted. He says they are friends but his actions don’t say the same. What kind of man would do this? Writes love letters in secret while drunk, promises to take care of her while she’s struggling to remember half her life, splurges on her and lies to his (and her) friends just to fulfill her wish of staying hidden from her brother... 

Friends? Either he didn’t have many female friends, or he was a bad liar.

After today, she’s thinking it’s a combination of both. 

“What about your mother, then? She wants you to find a wife, oppa. What’s stopping you?” She argues back, exasperated at him and her crazy mind. 

“I want to meet my future wife organically.” He shrugs. “And I don’t see any women in my life right now, so I’m not dating anyone.”

“Hmm. Sounds like an excuse to me”

Jongkook scoffs, smiling. “My mother talked to you for barely an hour and now you’re on her side?”

“She’s a very nice woman, worried for her son. And I did promise her.” Jihyo reminds him carefully.  

“Well, I might film a variety show revealing my day to day activities, but she doesn’t know my real life. I don’t tell her everything. What if there’s someone out there already?” 

“... Somin?”

Jongkook laughs so loud she flushes, wincing. “Don’t be funny. She has Sechan.”

They both know the loveline was going nowhere but down the comedy lane as far as they were concerned. “Now who’s being funny?”

“Ah, you crack me up, Song Jihyo.” Jongkook grins, relaxed.

“So none of you past girlfriends ever wanted more?” Jihyo asks, still persistent.

“They could have. But in the end, what’s not meant to be isn’t meant to be.”

“That’s a little sad, don’t you think?”

Jongkook smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Perhaps. They’ve moved on and settled down, so I don’t dwell on the past. Why are you so invested in my love life anyway? Are you working for my mother now?”

“Just curious, that’s all.” It’s a lie but it’s okay when she’s the only one who knows. 

“Remember when you asked me about fate? If I believed in meeting someone and she completely changes my life?”

She was naive back then, thinking Kim Jongkook really worked at a gym. It’s a little strange that he’s bringing this up again, but she still replies to him. “You said you did.”

“I still do.” He corrects, eyes avoiding hers unlike the first time. All these weeks of being with her and all it takes is his own mother to question his current feelings. Life would be easier if he stayed in denial, but no, he just had to find Song Jihyo by the Han River. 

Meeting her changed his life. Once a decade ago, and again recently in the most unexpected place. 

“Then maybe you should start looking and stop staying home.” She suggests, her mind on the damn letter again. 

“Yeah.” Jongkook replies, trying his hardest not to stare at her lips or do something equally stupid. “Maybe.”

There’s a long pause until he says something so out of place that her heart nearly stops when her mind processes the words. 

“And maybe she’s really someone out there that I already know.” 

This time, he doesn’t avoid her gaze. He locks eyes with her so intensely that she has to look away first. 

On the other hand, Jihyo can barely breathe. She knows about his past feelings about her and this is killing her to ignore it. What is he saying? Is this a hint to her?

He’s comfortable with her, enough to share all this and explain to his mother. She can’t upset their relationship now. They are friends. Strictly friends — past colleagues and now friends. Darn that love letter. She should have ripped it and burned it out of her brain when she had the chance to.

So why is her heart palpitating like a school girl with a crush?

Cheon Seongmoon has been looking for his sister for nearly one and a half months. 

“It’s been a long time since we’ve seen you, son.” His mother is undoubtedly happy. That makes one of us. “You didn’t have to travel all the way to Pohang, though. Aren’t you busy?”

“Nothing a few days of paid leave won’t fix, omma.” He smiles. She has gotten thinner over the years, even though his father swears he sits by her side and eats all his meals with her. 

It’s a shame, really. He thought his mother would have had a stronger mind, after all the years she’s whipped him and his siblings up in shape... 

“Save them for a real vacation, Seongmoon.” She frowns, patting his arm gingerly. “Or you can stop working entirely. Your noona’s saved enough for you, not to mention her will—“

“I can’t touch that money, omma. They are for you, remember?”

“‘No, no. Seong Im would have wanted this.” His mother says, but her eyes are far away. She always does this when she talks about Jihyo. It’s frustrating to him, more than it should be. 

“If she did, she would have left me a sum in my own name and not given it to you for safekeeping.”

It’s true — his own sister embarrassingly entrusted his share of assets to his parents’ hands. She may have done that five years before the incident when it was obvious her career was getting on track with Running Man and he was a lot younger back then, but it’s the bitter truth. Seongmoon holds back a sigh; he is not here to be angry. He is here for clarity, for peace of some sorts. Pohang is still the same, quiet city is has always been compared to his busy life in Seoul. 

But did his parents have to keep up a shrine for Song Jihyo? His sister is more than an actress. She has her bad sides too, the private side she’s hidden from the press and her cast mates. Perhaps he is doing himself more harm coming back than good. He will never find her again if he kept letting other distractions bother him.

“Don’t be sarcastic with your mother, Seongmoon.” His father walks in, a disapproving glance over. “We’ve already discussed it, haven’t we? Are you still hung up about that? When the time comes, we will transfer ownership to you.”

“Let him be. He came back on vacation for us!” It’s funny how relaxed his mother is now. It used to be the opposite, his dad sticking up for the children and his mother disciplining them with an iron fist. 

“Yeobo, he shouldn’t be waiting for the money his sister left him. He should start a life of his own, get some income... Anyway,  she’s not legally dead until the statute of limitations has passed for a missing person.”

Or she’s simply never giving up that money because Cheon Sooyeon is very much alive. He’s not stupid; he changed her name before all the useless authorities could accuse him of hiding a reported missing person. 

That will is ineffective now, but whatever. As far as they are all concerned, Cheon Seong Im is dead and missing, but his sister is not the same person anymore. She has a new name and identity, except that she’s missing again, for real this time.

Seongmoon looks away, hiding his frustration with a stoic face. Alas, he has no plans to reveal her status to his parents. Not until he finds her. They do not have to worry about any imaginary will at the moment.

“That’s fifteen years later.” Suddenly, omma looks more upset than she’s ever been since he came back to visit. Aish, he shouldn’t have said a word. She’s still his mother — he doesn’t want to disappoint her. “Take a break, son. Come stay with us when you’re free, okay?”

Guilt has not been good to his mother over the years. The dynamics of the Cheon household shifted after the incident, but Seongmoon knew better. Omma was a good mother even with her toughness, yet he does not want her to shower him with love because of her regret. 

It’s a little too late for that. 

“It’s fine, omma.” He will save the bitter thoughts for another day. 

“Let’s not talk about that now.” His father skips the topic entirely. “Have you talked to the Running Man cast while you were in Seoul? We still watch the show... It’s getting pretty funny again, Seong Im would have loved that.”

Suppressing an eye roll, Seongmoon should have known better. They don’t talk much, but it will always be about his sister. She always knew how to insert herself in every conversation, dead or alive.

“No, appa. We seldom talk. I’ll pass the message on to Kwangsoo hyung, maybe.” He barely forces out a controlled smile. “I just— oh, hold on one second, I have to take this call.”

Seongmoon rushes away to his old room, closing the door behind him as he whips out his ringing phone. It throws him for a second — the dingy place still looks the same! Childhood bedroom or not, he can’t bear to look at the photos. 

“Hello?” He puts his cellphone out of its vibrating misery, answering the call.

“Mr Cheon. I did what you asked.” 

Ah, just what he’s been waiting for. He’s nods impatiently, tapping his hand on his old bookshelf. “Mm. And?”

“Lee Kwangsoo ssi went to his schedules and his girlfriend’s house and back home within the two weeks, no other suspicious activity reported.”

“Did he visit any members?”

“No. He did go early to filming on Monday, but nowhere else.” 

Damn it. He was so sure Kwangsoo would crack. He still held the grudge when the actor talked down to him at the cafe... And look how that turned out. A private investigator is better than searching in vain.  

“I’m not in Seoul now.” Seongmoon grits his teeth, seconds away from throwing his phone at the blue wall he thought was the perf