Yena was nervous but not from performing. It’s for entire different reason, a simple text message from Sakura. 

‘I have an idea. I’ll create chance for you after encore stage, if one of us got to the finals. Better use that properly, Yena.’

Now she was having a nervous breakdown. Calm down.. calm down… It had been a mantra for the last few minutes after she received the text message. You’re Choi Yena and you don’t get nervous talking with any beautiful ladies. She’s not even your Yuri. Just be direct and ask her what’s wrong and why avoiding you. Yena literally gave herself a pep talk, even slightly slapping her cheeks to keep herself calm. It worked, just for a few minutes before she went nervous again, making her restless and paced back and forth in the room, making her members looking at her with full amusement.

“Which girl that makes you nervous like this?” Eunbi guessed since this Yena was extremely a rare sight. “I thought Yena’s the one that makes girls nervous.”

“Unnie, like you don’t know.” Yujin rolled her eyes as she remarked sarcastically before her smirk appeared on her face that Yena wanted to wipe it off so quickly. Clearly her partner in crime had managed to make a guess about it. Sometimes Yujin could be pretty sharp especially regarding things like this. “The only thing that can make Yena unnie turns into a mess like this is anyone with the same name as her first love.” 

Yena gave a glare to Yujin, not liking the exposure. She felt attacked somehow. She then groaned, somehow regretting to ask for Sakura’s help as it brought everyone’s attention to it.

“Yuri?” Eunbi spoke the name out and just that brought a response on Yena’s heart as it fluttered slightly faster and she felt really warm inside.

“Your PI finds her?” Chaewon asked, looking into Yena’s eyes, giving her an interrogating look as to why not telling them about it.

“No, not that Yuri.” Yena quickly said, both hands raised and slightly shook them. She didn’t want her members to misunderstand her that she kept important things hidden.

“Oh… so that’s what you talked about Kkura unnie.” Nako said excitedly, getting excited to know the newest ‘gossip’.

“Rose’s Yuri?” Eunbi finally connected the dots. “Did you bully her in a way?”

“Yah, unnie… you think I’ll bully her?” Yena defended herself before Eunbi thought that she really bullied Yuri.

“Unnie, anyone named Yuri is Yena unnie’s treasure. So, most probably our Yena unnie here is asking for help from Kkura unnie to play matchmaker.” Yujin said.

Yena felt like hiding right now, being attacked from various side. She ended up going to her roommate, Chaewon asking for help as she took a seat next to Chaewon and gave the younger a hug.

“Not matchmaking, Yujin-ah. It’s just… I feel that Yuri kinda avoiding me.” Yena slightly shook her head as she explained herself before sighing. She spoke out her concern to her members, wondering if they thought the same.

Chaewon patted Yena’s back while looking at her with a soft gaze, slightly pitying her roommate that the older one felt that way. All this time she felt that Yuri was just being quiet and not used to new people like her. At least she felt that she was no longer that shy as the hyperactivity of her roommate apparently started to rub on her.

Door opened to stop their discussion, which Yena silently thanked for to inform them that it’s their turn to perform now. They emptied the room by one by one. At least performing had created a good enough distraction until the dreaded time came.

***

The show of that day ended up with Rose’s first win. Violet congratulated the group with a hug before they let go to get down of the stage. But Sakura caught Yena’s wrist and whispered to Yena, asking her to wait for them later. Yena nodded and walked silently down the stage.

The usual loud and cheerful Yena turned into a quiet and serious one. Her members knew the reason behind that. They walked down the stage while some members of other groups tried to talk to Yena but no one could get her attention. Yena was obviously having a nervous breakdown again. Yena was on the state of kinda there but not really there. It’s like she let her body move by itself without thinking much, something like your body knew what to do without thinking much. Yena barely could hear what’s going on. Everything was kinda in a blur.

Being Yena’s best buddy, Yujin wrapped her arm around Yena’s shoulder. Yujin hoped that it would help Yena in certain way, like making sure no one to disturb Yena who was clearly distraught from all the nerves she was feeling. 

At that moment, Yena did spare a glance at Yujin, a small pout appeared on Yena’s lips, her signature and gave Yujin a nod, a silent ‘thank you’ that left unspoken but clearly understood and received by Yujin. 

The two walked together, trailing behind Minju and Chaewon until they walked passed the door separating the stage and the hallway. Yujin let go of her hold and patted Yena’s shoulder as an encouragement to the older one. 

The others gave Yena an encouraging look before walking away with Yujin being the last one, staying a few seconds longer in silence simply to accompany Yena.

“Good luck, unnie.” Yujin said before leaving and Yena gave Yujin an ‘okay’ sign as she nodded, assuring the younger one not to worry. Yena watched Yujin walked away before she went back to her thinking. 

Yena pulled all the courage to not be a coward and cancelled it out, not after Sakura being so kind to help her. She stood just behind the door that separated the hallway to the backstage, not bothering to head back and changed first.

Standing there alone with the staff occasionally passing by, she listened to the song playing in the encore, humming along. It eased out her nervousness, which was good. She knew it wouldn’t take long until the group wrapped it up.

As the meeting time was getting closer, Yena’s mind getting busier preparing on what she should talk about later on when she got the chance to have a proper talk with Yuri. Yena patted her cheeks with her hands, trying to stop herself from feeling nervous. “What’s to be nervous about, Yena-yah?” She mumbled to herself. 

Yena shuffled her feet a bit, trying to act cool but definitely the nervousness was clearly seen on her face from how pale she actually turned into and how cold her hands were as she tried to stop herself from shaking. This was much worse comparing to her debut stage. In the end, she chose to cross her arms in front of her chest, back pressed against the wall as she looked down, watching her leg moving up slightly, kicking the air to distract herself while waiting.

***

Rose got off the stage after politely bowed over to thank the staff for their work. They walked down the stairs to get off the stage and headed towards the door towards the hallway that would bring them back to their waiting room. Through the small windows of the swing door, Sakura could already see a pouty Yena waiting with arms crossed while looking at the floor. It reminded her of the look of a child that was getting punished.

They pushed the door open, and of course, it directly caught Yena’s attention as her head directly snapped up. Cheerful greeting directly came from the leader of the group, Chaeyeon. Yena was still trying to sort her mind and she knew Chaeyeon was talking to her but she couldn’t understand any. Somehow she was failing in language right now.

Sakura who was standing on the further back among her members had a playful smile, enjoying to see a nervous Yena. It’s a material that she could use to tease the latter. Count it as a revenge for all the teasings that Yena did to her all the time.

Chaeyeon was clearly excited to talk to Yena as the leader couldn’t stop talking. She even slightly tugged Yena to walk along with them and Yena who was still slightly distracted did so, walking slowly with Chaeyeon and the rest of Rose’s members until Sakura skipped to Yena’s side.

“Get a grip of yourself.” Sakura leaned closer to whisper to Yena and it caught attention of the members that walked behind them, Yuri, Hyewon and Wonyoung.

Yena looked at Sakura and from the glint of Yena’s eyes Sakura knew that Yena was no longer a distracted, drowning in her own thoughts. At that moment, Sakura slowed down, following the pace of the members behind her.

“Let’s go.” Suddenly Sakura shouted, making her members stopped walking and turned to look at her, including Yena. 

Sakura then spread her arms and pushed her members with her, leaving Yuri behind although Sakura didn’t manage to push Hyewon with her because Hyewon somehow didn’t budge when she did so. So, Sakura left Hyewon behind, but believed that Hyewon wouldn’t bother Yuri and Yena’s talk because Sakura knew how smart Hyewon was and the latter must have gotten her underlying message.

 “I’m hungry… and tired.” Sakura said a bit louder, making most of her members attention focused on her instead of Yuri, Yena and the left behind Hyewon. Sakura did spare another glance behind and silently wished Yena luck.

Yena could only stared at Sakura and the other 3 members in front of Sakura that were walking away from them, talking animatedly. Yena indeed owed her gamer friend this time. 

Yena turned her gaze towards Yuri, taking a deep breath to calm herself and also trying to stop her heart from beating too fast since she could already feel it started to race. 

“Um.. this is a bit awkward.” Yena started and looked at Yuri while Hyewon remained by Yuri’s side. 

“Can we talk for a while?” Yena asked, being slightly too polite compared to her usual self. She was doing her best not to sound too awkward at the moment. 

Yuri had a confused and unsure look on her face, totally not expecting the request from the older one. Yena had this expectant look on her face that made Yuri think that what the older one wanted to talk to her about must be important.

Yuri exchanged glance with Hyewon, seeing Hyewon silently telling her that she was willing to wait and accompany her if Yuri asked her to. 

“It’s okay. It’s not like Yena unnie going to do something to me.” Yuri assured, seeing how Hyewon was ready to defend her.

Hyewon nodded, understanding what Yuri had said. She never really liked Yena, knowing how Yena to be rumoured a player and she didn’t want want that kind of person to get close to Yuri. She gave Yena a warning look though, to make sure the latter didn’t try anything. She heard the nervous chuckle from Yena and it was good that Yena got her message. Giving one last look to Yuri, she walked away from the two and decided to catch up with her members. She slightly run towards her members to close the distance before taking her spot walking next to Sakura.

“So, what is it, unnie?” Yuri started the conversation after she saw Hyewon managed to catch up with the rest of her members and she faced Yena, looking into Yena’s eyes.

It gave Yena certain feels when that happened. This feeling felt so familiar but yet, she quickly dismissed that. Maybe she just missed ‘her’ so much that she started to see her in Yuri. Yena didn’t know how to start, pouting slightly as she thought for a reply. 

Yuri tilted her head, waiting for Yena to speak. She stood there, giving Yena a curious look. A few people that walked by did give them a look but the two didn’t bother much. One wanted to know what the other had in store while the other was struggling to get words out of her lips.

“Do I offend you in a way?” There it was. Yena finally let it out, directly to the point without beating around the bush. 

Yuri directly had a confused look her face the moment Yena asked her about that question. Yena directly caught the change of expression on Yuri’s face and she somehow found that all of the expressions were really cute. 

“Unnie, I don’t understand..”Yuri answered.

Yena wasn’t really surprised with Yuri’s answer. Maybe she was indeed thinking too much but she should just make sure of it after bringing this topic up.

“I mean, you seem like you’re avoiding me.” Yena explained and decided to walk Yuri back to Rose’s waiting room. She didn’t want them to take the space on the hallway and disturbed others that might need to walk around, since she noticed that they pretty much taking most of the space as they talked in the middle of it. Yena stretched her hand out and allowed Yuri to walk first before she joined in by Yuri’s side.

“You’re thinking too much, unnie.” Yuri said, looking ahead of her as they walked together side by side, not too close. It’s like one or two steps separating the two. Neither wanted to break another’s personal space. It’s just a safe distance, not too far that might make them as strangers but also not too close.

Yena somehow couldn’t stop staring at Yuri. Who could blame her? This was the first time and maybe the last that she could be this up close to Yuri. She might be looking like a creep now but she couldn’t help it. She was getting curious of this person right next to her. Yuri gave her this sense of familiarity at how her heart was beating right now. 

Yena encountered various people with the name Yuri before but no one brought this sense of warmth inside of her, not to mention the slight flutter in her heart, not the type that raced after she ran or when she was nervous but it’s the kinda flutter that was good in a way. The more she looked at Yuri, the more the younger reminded Yena of her. 

Yena stared at Yuri’s side profile as she walked with her. You can’t project her on Yuri. Yena gave herself a warning, a silent monologue inside of Yena’s head.

“Is that so?” 

Yuri nodded to answer Yena’s question. Yena felt hopeful at the answer. She indeed was thinking too much that made her speculate things when there was nothing happened.

“Thank God.” Yena let out a sight of relieved as she awkwardly chuckled. That was slightly embarrassing to her now after getting the answer from Yuri.

Yena turned to look at Yuri again. It left her questioning herself once more. What was this feeling?  Why Yuri had this certain pull towards her that she didn’t realise until now.

Yuri could feel the gaze coming from her side and she was doing her best to ignore it. The two of them walking together indeed caught people’s eyes. The staff and idols that were passing by who saw them together gave them a curious look, probably wondering on why they were together instead of with their members. It made Yuri slightly uncomfortable as she felt self conscious. She didn’t even dare to look at Yena. In a way, afraid of what she might see on the older’s face. 

Yena was too busy staring at Yuri that she didn’t pay too much attention while she was walking that she accidentally tripped on her own feet and she fell down. She managed to catch herself by stopping herself from being faceplanted to the floor. Then, Yena heard the most pleasant voice that she had ever heard. She sat down on the floor and looked at Yuri dreamily as she watched Yuri laughed her heart out, bringing attention to the people around them, some idols even peeked out of their waiting room. Who wouldn’t come out to check it out when someone’s laughter was booming in the entire hallway.

Yena didn’t feel embarrassed at all when she most probably should. She was too distracted by the laughter. She totally didn’t mind to fall down everyday if she could hear Yuri laughing so freely like how she is right now. Yena had this certain smile on her face, the smile that she never showed anyone before, the smile that only reserved for her Yuri. She didn’t even realise that she had that smile on her face. All Yena knew at that moment was she felt sincerely happy to bring out that laughter from Yuri.

After the laughter died down, Yuri gave Yena a guilty look, feeling bad for laughing at the older’s misfortune. Yuri stretched her hand out to help Yena getting up. The look from people around them no longer affected Yuri.

“I’m sorry.” Yuri said, with a small pout on her lips.

“It’s okay.” Yena shook her head, totally not upset with Yuri. She was too happy to be upset right now. She held the hand outstretched and pulled herself up.

“Then, let’s be friends. A proper one.” Yena said, holding Yuri’s hand and decided not to let go until the younger gave her an answer.

Yuri didn’t say anything but just smiled as she nodded. Yena then let go of her hold on Yuri’s hand and accompanied her back to her waiting room. The silence was no longer heavy and awkward. It felt warm and comforting now. Who would have thought making one silly mistake could change it? Yena must thank her feet for making herself tripped and made a good comedy of herself.