Where Seungwan has a ‘her’ but it’s not Joohyun

It was hard for Joohyun to cope with this feeling, not when she had to witness Seungwan loving her right in front of her very own eyes. The worst part is, she couldn’t even say anything about it nor could she voice out about what’s bothering her. It aches her, maybe quite a little too much. Joohyun knows that she has no right to feel this way—maybe she has, because she’s the closest to Seungwan—not when Seungwan has been with her through thick and thin. So it’s only right for Joohyun to be fair and let Seungwan loves other beings even when it’s not herself. Seungwan loves her and Joohyun must live with that

“Unnie? What are you doing here?”

Joohyun turns around and saw Sooyoung staring at her curiously. Ah yes, who wouldn’t be curious when she really did just crashed at Sooyoung and Seulgi’s place out of the blue without even informing the couple.

She was with Seungwan and her earlier. But the sight was too much for Joohyun to handle and she felt like she was third-wheeling so she had to make an excuse to get out from that situation. On which she hoped Seungwan would believe because she immediately walked away after informing the latter.

“Just chilling” Joohyun answered with an empty tone

“How did you get in???”

“Found the spare key in one of the pots”

“Damn it, I told Seulgi that wouldn’t be a safe place but she just won’t listen”

Sooyoung grumbled, reminding herself to lecture her girlfriend when she’s home. Sooyoung approached Joohyun and took a seat right next to her on the couch, where Joohyun was sprawled on as if it was her own house. Talk about etiquette.

“Weren’t you with Seungwan unnie earlier?” Sooyoung turns to her

“Yeah”

“And…why are you here now?”

“Because Seungwan is with her”

The moment Joohyun mentions her, Sooyoung’s curious gaze turns into a soft pity look directed to the older one. Sooyoung knows how much Joohyun loves Seungwan, and how badly she wanted to be held and given affection to. Just merely to be seen is enough for Joohyun. But ever since her, Sooyoung noticed that her dearest unnie had been distancing herself from the other unnie of hers. Sooyoung just wanted the old them, who gets to hang out together and be happy. But it’s hard now, not when Seungwan tends to bring her along to any of their usual hang outs and all Joohyun could do was fake a smile

“Unnie…”

“I know, I know. I’m being ridiculous”

“No unnie, your feelings are totally valid”

“I just… I love Seungwan so much, you know? But whenever Seungwan is with her, I am instantly forgotten so it kind of saddens me sometimes”

Sooyoung only managed to let out a sad smile as she lightly pats her unnie’s shoulder. Joohyun sighs and leans back as she fished out her phone from her back, trying to distract herself from this ridiculous heartache that she has going on. She decided to go through her social media, but turns out that was already a bad idea. Because the first thing she saw when she opens her Instagram was a photo of Seungwan with her

“Unnie? You okay?”

Sooyoung asks when she heard Joohyun inhaled deeply, almost coming out like a built up frustration but Joohyun managed to mask it all. She learned that nowadays whenever she’s around Seungwan and her. It’s easier to pretend, but how long can that last?

Joohyun then hands her phone to Sooyoung who took it with ease, when she saw what made Joohyun act like this, it dawned to her that maybe whatever they had going on was a serious issue after all.

“She really…”

“Loves her? Yeah” Joohyun answered

“Unnie…”

“I’m okay, Sooyoung. Don’t worry”

Joohyun lets out a smile, a little too fake for Sooyoung. As much as she loves Seungwan, she can’t help but to feel bad for her Joohyun unnie

“You don’t have to pretend all the time you know?” Sooyoung spoke

“I’m fine really”

“You’re not unnie”

Joohyun sighs

“Even if that’s true, there’s nothing I can do about it now Sooyoung-ah”

“There is something you could do unnie. Talk to Seungwan unnie about it. Let her know how you feel”

“I can’t do that Sooyoung. Seungwan loves her, I can’t be selfish!”

“So until when are you going to break into our house just to lay on our couch every time Seungwan unnie does something that bothers you?”

“Hey! Seulgi said I can come anytime!”

Joohyun frowned, definitely remember Seulgi telling her that she and Seungwan is welcome anytime of the day.

“Tsk, I’ll talk to Seulgi about changing our locks”

“Hey!” Joohyun whined

Sooyoung sighed before standing up, wanting to take a shower

“Seriously unnie, talk to Seungwan unnie. She needs to know about this. Your feelings are valid, its okay to speak up”

“But I can’t do that to Seungwan…”

“You’ll be the one who has to deal with this aching feeling unnie”

Joohyun just kept mum, Sooyoung is right. As much as she loves Seungwan, she can’t help but to feel bothered about the whole thing

“Just think about it unnie”

So now here she is, standing in front of Seungwan who’s sitting on the couch with her. Both were cuddling a little too lovingly for Joohyun’s liking not when Seungwan is nuzzling her nose onto hers

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