Secret Love Song by Little Mix

Sinb POV
(flashback to fingertip era)

We keep behind closed doors because of who we are. If it wasn't for our careers we could be what we wanted. I love every second we have together but every time I see you, I die a little more. Our stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls. The moments we share away from the cameras. The secret gazes are pass to one another. They will never be enough. How can we share everything we do and any give the minimum? How can I live knowing that we could be so much more?

As you drive me to my dorm after a music show, I reach over and grab your hand. The warmth makes me feel like you're actually mine at this moment. Together in this moment alone, we share a connection but flashes come from outside of the car and your hand leaves mine. I can't stop these silent tears from rolling down. 

You and I both have to hide on the outside. Our moments will only be on the inside. Outside of our world, I'm nothing to you. Outside is where I can't be yours and you can't be mine. But I know this is reality. We have a love that is hopeless. Even if I know what we want is impossible I can't stop the questions from running through my head. 

Why can't I hold you in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? I wish what we had could be like that. Why can't it be like that? Because I know that I'm yours so why can't I say that I'm in love with you? I want to shout it from the rooftops for everyone to know. I'm not scared of what we have. We're not wrong just held back. Our love is just like everyone else I wish people would see it like that. I wish that it could be like that. Why can't it be normal like everyone? Because I'm yours.

"What's wrong? You're crying." Yerin asks me as we parked in front of my dorm. The flashes are still present but our relationship is not. 

"Nothing." I shrug. 

"I refuse to leave until you tell me." She stands firm.

"Don't do this. Some things are better left unspoken." I refuse.

"Like what?"

"Like us." I don't mean to snap but it hurts holding on for so long. 

"That's not fair, Sinb." 

"It's not fair to me either so please just let me leave. I don't want to do this right now." I plead. 

"Okay let's go inside then." She unbuckled.

"What are you doing?" I asked confused why she's coming in too.

"I'm coming in because I refuse to leave you like this." She gets out and helps me inside. I ask her if she needs anything to drink but she declines. We go to my room to change clothes. I open a chore and pick pajamas for her. I hand them to her expecting her to take them and change. She surprises me when I feel her lips on the cheek.

"Thank you." She says before leaving to change and allowing me to do the same. She comes back in the pajamas I gave her and I try not to smile at the sight. I get in my bed and face away from her. Her arms wrap around me from behind and a quick kiss is pressed on my shoulder. I would swoon if it wasn't for our circumstances. 

"Yerin stop." I push her body away from mine and sit up. She looks at me confused.

"What's wrong with you today?" She asks.

"Do you not realize how wrong this is? What we're doing isn't healthy. All of this is what people in relationships do and we're not in one." I snap. After months of this, I finally decided I've had enough. I can't keep living like we're together when we've never addressed us.

"Why do we need to be in a relationship to do this?" She snaps back.

"Because what we have is different. Do you do this with Joy? Hayoung? Yuju? Eunha? Do you do this with anyone else?" I run my hand through my hair frustrated. 

"No, but that doesn't mean we have to put a label on us." 

"To acknowledge that what we have is more than just friendship. It's obvious you're meant for me. Every single piece of you fits me perfectly. You're in my head every second, every thought, I'm in so deep waiting for you to accept us. But I've never shown it on my face because I've been too busy trying to soak in whatever we have." I yelled at her.

"But we both know this, we have a love that is hopeless." She shatters my heart.

"Why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?" I ask. her.

"You know why, Sinb. I wish that it could be like that but it can't." 

"What can't we be like that? Because I'm yours already. Why can't I say that I'm in love with you? I want to shout it from the rooftops." My tears start to fall again.

"Because labeling ourselves will only ruin our future." 

"I don't want to live love this way. I don't want to hide us away. Will our future ever change?"  I can't do this anymore. 

"I'm living for that day. Why can't we just live like we are one day at a time and maybe someday it will change." She explains. She steps closer to me pulling me into a hug. I hate myself for giving in so quickly. 

When you hold me like this and you kiss me on the forehead. I wish that we could like that. Why can't we be like that? Because I'm yours.

"I'm yours" I whisper into her chest.

A/N

Quick flashback from Sinb's side. If you haven't listened to this song you really should because it's absolutely beautiful.