Hear Me by (G)I-DLE

Yerin POV

We're on our way to a sudden meeting that management said was important. The other girls are nervous in their seat during the car ride while I'm not. We've had a lot of sudden meetings ever since she left us. I don't really care what it's about if I'm being honest. Usually, it's the typical "We haven't heard any news on her return." I pull out my phone and text Eunwoo.

"I might be late for our date... Management decided to have another random meeting." 

"Don't worry. Whenever you're free just come over and we'll go on our date" 

I smile at how understanding he is. I put my phone away when Yuju nudges me we've arrived. We all get out and walk into the building together. I notice everyone is hesitant to go so I decide to lead the way. I find the room we were told to meet in. I open the door and immediately bow to greet the room. When I stand back up I notice Sinb sitting there. I freeze in my spot and feel the members trying to push my forward to let them in. I stumble forward not looking away.

"What is she doing here?" I ask shocked. Instantly I realize my words and know that I messed up. 

"That's what we're here to talk about so would everyone please sit down." Our manager responds.

We all walk to the seats. I take the seat furthest from her as my eyes refuse to look anywhere near her. I hear her scoff at me but I'm still frozen.

"Now can we know what this meeting is about?" Umji cautiously asks.

"Sinb came to us to tell us she's ready to return. We decided on the comeback plans so we can include her. She will move back into the dorm after this meeting. We don't expect you all to do much but a simple post so that fans know she's back would help publicity." The manager explains everything.

"So... she's coming back after everything," I asked making sure I'm not hearing things.

"That's what he said, isn't it. Am I not allowed to return now?" I hear her speak with hostility. 

"I was just making sure I heard it right," I respond not looking at her.

"Please have some team dinners soon to fix any problems that may be present."

We all agree as the staff stands up and leaves. All the members sit not knowing what to do until Sowon stands up. She looks at the rest of us and we follow her actions.

"Let's all act civil and take a selfie to post later" 

We all agree and pose for the photo. After we're done I stand awkwardly as all of the members attack her with love. I see her smile for the first time in ages and it feels like my heart explodes. Once they're done welcoming her back we decide to go to the vans. 

"What about a group dinner tonight?" Eunha suggests. Everyone agrees except me. Noticing my silence they turn to me.

"I actually already have plans," I tell them trying to hide that I'm meeting Eunwoo.

"Oh, yea I forgot. You can go do whatever you do while we help Sinb move back in!" Eunha replies. I nod and say my goodbye's as I leave. 

On my date with Eunwoo, I can't pay any attention to him. I keep thinking about what I said to her. She finally decides to come back and I accidentally say things that make her feel unwelcomed. I rub my head and feel an arm wrapped around my shoulder.

"Is everything okay? You've been distant all night like you're thinking about something." He whispers gently to me. I lean into him and allow him to comfort me.

"Sinb is coming back," I tell him

"Isn't that good news?" He asks curiously 

"Well in the meeting I accidentally said things I shouldn't have. It’s hard to take back what I said." I explain.

"You can't take back what you said but you can prove your sorry." 

"How can I do that?" I ask

"Depend on what you said make it clear you don't feel that way. Talk to her and ask for forgiveness." He rubs my arm.

"I'm not sure she even wants to talk to me... It's really complicated" I can't expect him to fix my problems especially when he doesn't know everything.

"Then uncomplicate it. Tell me everything so I can help you. Don't worry about what I'll think of you; I'm not going to judge you just open up so I can help you." He asks me as if he knows something I don't.

"Before Sinb left she had ignored me for a while. When I confronted her we had an argument and then she announced she was leaving." I tried to hide the important parts.

"What did you argue about?" He tried to get me to explain more.

"My relationship with you." I can't look him in the eyes.

"Is it because you're dating me?" He asks.

"Kind of. Not really but in a sense yes."

"Is it because you're dating me or you're not dating her." I instantly look at him. My eyes are wide in shock.

"I- you- no no it because uh-" I stutter not knowing how to get myself out of this.

"Yerin just be honest with me. I'm not going to judge you or her." He comforts me.

"It's because I wasn't dating her." I stare at the ground not able to meet her eyes.

"Part of you wants to date her too." 

"How-" I start but he puts a finger to my lips.

"I'm not blind. I've seen how you look at her and how she looks at you. The way you two acted before we started dating. Honestly, I'm surprised you even agreed to date me." He chuckles to himself.

"You're not upset?" I'm shocked by his reaction.

"I'm not going to get upset by things neither of us can control. I understand you love her but I don't understand why you're letting her go." 

"Because we can't take the risk of being exposed. If we were caught dating that would be the end of Gfriend" My auto answer comes out without me even thinking.

"So you're willing to throw away possibly the love of your life because of something that's only a possibility. What are the odds that you get exposed?" He reasons.

"I'm not sure but I know the outcome can't be good"

"That's only if it goes bad. I'm not saying you have to date her but wouldn't you rather try and it not work out instead of losing a chance at being truly happy." I stare at him while I process his words. He notices that I'm in no state to continue and offers to take me home. We park in front of the dorm and he looks to me again.

"Don't question what we are now because you need to answer other questions first." He brings my hand up and kisses it. I nod to him and get out of his car.

Once I'm inside I hear them watching a movie together. I silently join them sitting by Yuju and as far away from Sinb. They greet me and continue watching their movie. I look at Sinb but she's looking at the screen. I'm here waiting for your eyes to meet mine. I'm waiting for you to show me yourself again but I don't see you. 

I've been staring for minutes. I feel like I'm making up for all the time I haven't seen her. My heart stops when you looked at me with your cold gaze. I feel strange inside. As if I should look away and avoid your gaze but yet I want so badly to get lost in it. I know I can't help it anymore. I've never wanted you more than I do now. I want to be with you for the rest of my life so that I never have to go through losing you again.

As the night sky darkens so does my heart. Like me, like my heart, it dims. I stop looking at her because my eyes can't ask you what my heart wants. Can I have your heart? Please just this once listens to what I have to say. From deep inside my heart I want you to listen to me. I know that we're a bit more distant but it's okay. Maybe this is to show us we'll always end up together.

I know that I was the one to cause this. I push you away but it's okay I'm always here. Like a fool, I want to see you. I want to see you as you were before all of this even though I know I don't deserve it. Please allow me to be selfish one more time.

You've become a stain on me don't I hate it? I'm here shouting but you don't hear me. You wrapped me up and held me in this love but why am I not upset. With this distance between us, I feel like our precious memories are over now. But I hate ending it like this.

I didn't notice the movie ended until the members got up to leave. Sowon explained she's going to sleep in my room tonight because they three want to stay the night. I nod and go to my room to change clothes.

Sowon is already asleep but I just lay in the dark not asleep. I decided to get up and go outside. I could use the fresh air to clear my mind. I look at the sky and all the stars but a cloud goes over them and those stars disappear. It looks sad but my heart's okay. I hear a door open behind me so I turn and see Sinb. This is my chance I won't turn my back on you again.

"Sinb please don't leave," I beg her. I stand up and approach her.

"I don't want to talk to you yet." She says while turning to leave. I grab her wrist gently to stop her.

"Just this once listen to what I have to say. I won't talk to you ever again if you just give one chance. From deep inside my heart I want you to listen to me. Please just once let me." My heart races as if I'm begging for my life. She turns around but says nothing. She nods for me to continue.

"I'm so sorry for treating you the way I did. I force you to open up on things that caused pain to both us. I'm sorry that I gave you up because I was scared and if I'm being honest I'm still scared. I'm scared because having you gone has only made me want you more and I don't know what to do. I'm sorry that I'm only causing you pain because I can't figure out what I want. I really do wish we could be together but I just don't know how to do that." I explain my feelings. I wait anxiously for a response but just turns and starts to walk away again.

"Why are you leaving me? Have I ever been this honest?" I ask her confused.

"Let me tell you honestly. I've waited years for you and found out that you're seeing someone else through the news because you didn't tell me yourself, then you forced me to open about something that caused all of this to happen, you text me randomly as if nothing happened, and acted like a when I decided to come back, now you're admitting feeling while saying you still won't reciprocate them yet expect me to say something to you. What do you want me to say because I'm exhausted? I've been trying for months to move on as you told me to so please help me by allowing me to." She rants back.

"If this is the end of us will you ever come back?' I ask desperately. She scoffs and yanks her wrist out of my hand before leaving me there alone.

Please come back and always stay by my side. I couldn't get the words out of my mouth but I really wanted to tell you. I hate how we've become a bit more distant. Please don't push me away. I'll wait for you because I know I truly love you. I love you Hwang Sinb

A/N

Long overdue and I accidentally uploaded once on accident before I was done but I hope you enjoy it because I think it might be over soon. I'll try to update other fics so don't be surprised if I update and it's not Sinrin! Please upvote and comment. Stay safe during this time and speak up against racism.