She knows her schedule inside and out. So she knows right now is sleeping time for her. She should be fine. She should be asleep. Hell Lisa should be asleep right now. So, why won’t she stop crying and close her eyes?

“Look, bug, please just tell me what’s wrong so I can help you. That’s all I’m asking.” She pleads as she leans to the crib to look at the other occupant in the room, tears just coming out of her eyes nonstop breaking Lisa’s heart in the process. “Like… I don’t know… maybe squint once for yes twice for no? Anything?”

She sighs as she reaches into the crib and grabs ahold of a tiny foot wiggling it a little. She then takes a hold of two tiny fists and does the same.

“Morgan,” she calls out, exasperated and exhausted, extending her arms fully and taking the wriggling baby into her arms. “Morgan, baby girl, please just stop crying. Please. I’m on your side, just tell me what’s wrong.”

Honestly if she doesn’t stop Lisa is really thinking about the whole if you can’t beat them join them, because if Morgan doesn’t stop she’s pretty sure she’ll start crying herself. The little bundle of joy has been crying for what seems like hours. Logically she knows that’s not the case but she has been wailing non stop and she’s pretty sure she’s losing it right now.

Jisoo has gone back to work this week. And although is not the first time Lisa stays at home with her daughter by herself, Is the first time she does while knowing Jisoo won’t be coming home until much later and it seems like their little bean is noticing her mama has taken too long to come back.

For the first time since her daughter was born, Jisoo is worrying about whether having a child was the right thing to do. Most of her doubts of course are coming from the separation anxiety. Now, she has left home before but maybe for an hour or two at most when she needed to head over to either the cafe or the boutique but that was it.

This is the first time in four months that’s she’s actually leaving her baby for more than two hours. Lisa told her no one would judge her if she wanted to keep working from home, but the reality of things was that she had two stores to care of on top of a fashion empire to maintain. So as much as it hurt she needed to get back to work.

Jisoo turns to their bed were Lisa was still laying around, playing with their nintendo switch and still in her pjs and Jisoo can’t stop the jealousy she feels at the fact that her wife gets to stay home all day.

“Why am I leaving again?” Jisoo asks as she continues getting ready

“Because you are owner and CEO of a fashion empire and you know we need to get into a routine with her that involves our jobs. Remember when I went back to work a few weeks ago? You told me that.”

There’s a small gargle from the crib in the corner of the bedroom and Jisoo rushes to check everything is okay and it is. She knows this, but once again the worry and anxiety of leaving are taking over her motherly instincts. Lisa watches her from the bed, the nintendo beside her and the taller girl is already sitting by edge of the bed knowing well what’ll come next.

“Promise me that you will keep me updated through the day?”

And that’s Lisa’s queue to stand up. She walks over to her and pulls Jisoo into her arms, and softly promises her. “I’ll keep in touch all day, I promise.” She said and Jisoo although not pulling away still leans her head towards the crib. “We’ll be fine, Choo. I love her and I’m pretty sure she loves me too.It’s like she’s my daughter or something” She says and considers the small chuckle than came from her wife a win.

“We’ll be alright.”

We’ll be alright is what she had said but now she can’t seem to calm her baby down no matter how hard she tries. And she just gave Jisoo an update half and hour before she started crying so calling her is a big no. Chaeyoung and Jennie were out of the country visiting the blonde’s parents, it would also be the first time their four year old see’s Australia for the first time, and Chaeyoung’s parents had planned a whole week of turisting for the kid. So calling them for help would be out of the question. Plus there was the whole time difference thing to worry about. So she’s on her own.

When Jisoo got pregnant she constantly told her that although pretty impossible, Lisa was definitely her mother as the baby couldn’t seem to keep still, she was constantly kicking and moving giving Jisoo countless of sleepless nights.

And Morgan does, indeed, have Lisa’s energy. And Lisa also loves her very much, but she just wishes she would go to sleep.

“Baby girl” she says again. “Please. Mama is going to be back soon, and if she comes back to see you upset, she’ll never leave the house again.”

For a brief moment, Morgan hiccups and pauses, almost like the mention and thought of her other mother is enough to get her to calm down, but then she starts back up again, a little louder than before even.

Lisa almost sobs herself.

She thinks maybe she had been wrong. Maybe she can’t handle being a parent. Maybe she’s the wrong fit. Because if she can’t get her daughter to go down for one nap, then how is she supposed to raise her for the rest of her life?

The truth is she needs Jisoo and she hasn’t felt this worried since their little girl was born.

The body in the bed ticked and slept, breathed because of the tubes, twitched occasionally but not of her own volition. Lisa sat there for so long she knows she has become part of the furniture now. Every day just talking to her, holding her hand. Telling her she’s sorry that their daughter seemed to be so much like Lisa that even her birth needed to be an spectacle. That she was sorry that the girl had so much of of Lisa’s energy that she decided to come in early.

“If you felt like waking up that would be great.” Lisa whispered and craned forward, her lips resting against the knuckles carefully cradled in her palms. “But if you need to sleep a bit longer that’s alright too, I trust you.”

Her days were divided in two, she’d go from Jisoo to their baby. The baby was so tiny, so perfect, so little. Lisa just sat there every day absolutely in awe and unbothered by the feeding tube or tiny heart monitor pads.

“I don’t think they make t-shirts tiny enough for you,” Lisa whispered and smiled. “But hey is a good think your mama is a fashion designer right? She can make you a super tiny shirt that says Lisoo forever, What would you think to that?”

The baby yawns and Lisa smiles, her hands going through the designated door in the incubator and holding a tiny fist. . “A few more days under the superhero lamp and you’ll meet mama, okay? I’ll take you there myself.”

The baby made a tiny noise, almost a complaint.

“I know,” Lisa agreed with a sigh. “I would give my life for the pair of you, I really would.”

Morgan whines again, bringing Lisa out of memory lane. She carefully pulls her back and holds her out in front of her so she can meet her teary eyes.

“I will literally give you anything that you want if you just stop crying.”

She quietens suddenly, and Lisa chuckles shaking her head. “You’re really are your mama’s kid huh? You sneaky little bug.” Lisa feels all the worry and tension seep from her shoulders as this time Morgan does not go back to crying but stares at her with wonder her tiny fists opening and closing. “You are going to take over the world like your mama, I bet.”

She brings Morgan closer to her chest. The baby girl releasing a yawn. “Now you want to sleep?” She said softly as she walked back to their room and laid down on the bed carefully.

“Should we try this again, mm?” SHe whispers gently setting down Morgan on her chest, after a few minutes of staying awake to make sure their little girl wasn’t waking up again, Lisa couldn’t help but close her eyes herself, seems Morgan even got Lisa sleeping habits to the T. What with her ability to sleep anywhere anytime like her mommy could. Like mother like daughter.

“Lali.” Jisoo calls out when she gets home, receiving no answer in response she refrains from calling out again as they now had a newborn in the house and she did not want to be the cause of her waking up.

The living room was empty, nothing but maybe an empty bottle of milk remained which meant Lisa had already fed Morgan, beside it was also a toy Chaeyoung had bought for her, she leaves her things on the couch and heads up to the nursery, which was also empty, maybe in their room?

When Jisoo moves to their room she looks around to see a forgotten nintendo switch on the bed, another milk bottle on the floor, a baby blanket hanging from the edge of the bed, two cans of redbull on the bedside table and a bag of Lisa’s favorite snacks, it was messy but Jisoo didn’t care because amongst the chaos in the middle of the bed laid the two most precious humans beings in her life.

Lisa was laying down on a pair of sweats and her favorite blue hoodie. Their baby girl was wearing a matching blue onesie with a blue beanie to match, she was laying right on her mother’s chest, her tiny fists on her side. Jisoo does nothing to wake them up and simply changes into more comfortable clothing and goes and lays down besides her family.

Her hand softly caressing Lisa’s face, then her baby’s back. She takes Lisa’s free arm and wraps it around her as she lays beside her. Seems that just like Jisoo their daughter find Lisa’s chest to be very comfortable. With one last kiss to Lisa’s cheek she closes her eyes and falls asleep.

As hard as it was, she would never change her life for anything. It was perfect. They were perfect.