It shouldn’t be this hard to forget her. I mean, we spent no more than 3 months together! There weren’t that many opportunities to interact at all. But why do I find it so hard to get her out of my system?

My heart feels heavy every morning, as I wake up and my first thought was her. Before I go to sleep, she’s also my last thought. I’m experiencing the things I felt the first time I realized I was attracted to her. She wouldn’t leave my thoughts alone.

It’s like she has this permanent spot in my brain. No matter what I do, she seemed stuck there, making me remember everything that I wanted to erase from my memory.

Jessica wasn’t helping either. She recently posted a poster of Taeyeon’s girl group in our room. So I see her every day, which explains the difficulty of forgetting her. I tried to take the poster down but Jessica’s watching it like a hawk. If she finds even a spot of water or a crinkle in that poster I know she will kill me. Who else would she blame? So I did my best no to approach the thing plastered on the wall even though Taeyeon looked ridiculously hot on that picture.

I sat in class, bored to death as usual. My life was back to normal. I didn’t have to go somewhere I didn’t have to go. I’m free like before. So I dedicated my afternoons to my dance class and practiced like there’s no tomorrow. It distracts me from the pain that’s latched in my chest and dancing helped me ease up to express myself.

The teacher was blabbering something in front of the class and I wasn’t paying attention. I was staring mindlessly out of the window beside my chair. I just snapped back to reality when I heard my name being called.

“Choi Sooyoung-sshi! Please stay after class.”

I scrunched up my face in confusion. My classmates all stared at me as if I did something weird. I saw others snickering and others shaking their head. What did I do this time? I wasn’t even sleeping and I’m almost sure that I’m not failing this subject.

So after class, I dragged myself near the teacher’s desk and waited for my teacher to explain what the hell I’m doing in front of her.

“Ms. Choi, first of all I would like to congratulate you in your improved performance in most of your classes. Especially for the project I gave you with Ms. Kim. I didn’t know you had it in you.” I gave her a weak smile to show some appreciation but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something stupid was about to unfold.

“I’m glad that you’ve been working hard and I’ve heard from some of your teachers that you’re performing very well in your dance class.” I showed no emotion but what the hell? Were my teachers gossiping about me or something? “But I’ve also heard that you had been absent frequently for the past weeks and we had gotten into some talking.” My brows came together automatically, while my brain digested whatever my professor was saying. “We think it’s best if you keep doing what you started with Ms. Kim.”

“What?!”

“Some of your teachers, including me, wanted you to continue helping Kim Taeyeon-sshi for this semester, or if possible, this year. So that you wouldn’t lose your focus and you will be on your way to graduating smoothly.” I felt my mouth agape while processing all she said. I’m gonna continue seeing Taeyeon again?! The person that I’ve been desperately trying to get rid off of my life for the past weeks?! You have got to be kidding me. I’m so not okay with this.

“Ma’am, with all due respect, I don’t think that would be necessary. You see, I was just absent for important reasons. I’m not being truant, I swear! And I promise not to fail any more subjects this year so there wouldn’t be a need for me to do that.” I rumbled. I’m not gonna let this happen.

“I know you might say that but it has already been decided. Ms. Kim was already informed and I heard that you two have been good friends, so wouldn’t you do it for her?” No. Well, maybe. Before all of that occurred and before me having feelings for her.

“Can’t you do something about it? I mean, I could decline right? I could just not go there and you wouldn’t know.”

“We’ve already thought about that. Ms. Choi, just so you know, we are not blackmailing you into doing this. We are merely trying to help you.” My teacher opened one of her drawers and pulled out some papers, which had pictures on them. I couldn’t see it well until it was passed into my hands and I got a better look at it. The scene was oddly familiar… Wait…

My eyes widened when I realized what the blurry picture was.

It was from when my freshman year and I desperately wanted to be in this organization, which I found out was stupid. There was a supposed initiation thing before I get accepted into the club. The challenge was to steal something from the dean’s office, and in the photo, that was what I was doing. Caught in the act in every angle. Of course there would be CCTV cameras.

“I’m sure you realize what’s in those photos. Again, I’m not trying to make your life harder Sooyoung-shhi. I’m definitely making it easier. If you help us, everything will be forgotten and you will march and get your diploma at the end of your fourth year. But if you don’t take this seriously…” I gulped as I watched my teacher plead me silently with her eyes. “I can’t do anything about it anymore.”

The heavy thumping of the bass deafened me from my surroundings. Although I’m all alone in the dance studio, I can still hear the buzz of unwelcomed noises inside my head, as thoughts of what happened earlier sink inside my brain.

I wanted to get out so I went to the place I feel safe and peaceful. I danced my way through the afternoon, trying to hold off the events that would eventually unfold on their own.

I twirled, jumped, skidded, letting myself loose as the music takes over my body. It was moving on it’s own and I felt really comfortable even with thoughts of Taeyeon and seeing her again where desperately trying to invade my brain. I let it do so for about a few seconds. I was circling the dance floor faster and faster, while all her memories were flooding back to every part of my brain.

The upbeat song was reaching it’s , as well as the movie playing in my head. Something like what they say you’ll experience when you’re on the verge of dying. All the scenes in your life would flash back right at you whether you like it or not.

Thoughts of Taeyeon and Tiffany were now taking over my head and I got pretty much distracted. So when I’m almost at the finale, I stepped on the wrong foot and I tripped. I fell down and cried in pain. “CRAP!” I tried to ease the pain by making some straight lines on my ankle,  using my thumb to soothe them but the pain just got worse. “Great! Just freaking great!” I shouted which echoed through the now silent and empty dance studio.

I pushed myself off the ground but I couldn’t stand up. I was whining in pain and the fatigue was also sinking in. I crawled my way to my bag to reach for my phone, careful not to put much weight on my left foot. I phoned Jessica and waited for her to bring me to the hospital.

“Seriously. You have to be careful Soo.” Jessica stared at me worriedly. “You’ve been practicing non-stop and this is what you get! I told you to just take it easy but as always, you didn’t listen to me!”

“Could you stop scolding me? I know, okay? But it’s really not helping the pain right now so please just stop Sica.” I said trying to control my temper. She wouldn’t understand the frustration I’m going through. What a crappy day. How did my life go to normal to just plain unfortunate? It’s bad enough that I learned that I had to see Taeyeon again while my professors were talking behind my back and somewhat blackmailing me. And now, I can’t do the only thing that makes me happy, which is to dance.

I am so screwed.

Just then, the doctor arrived, holding some papers or whatever. He gave a small smile and said, “So according to your results, you’ll be fine. But there was a fracture on your bones and it could worsen if we don’t take the necessary precautions.”

“Are you gonna amputate my foot?” The doctor chuckled at what I said while Jessica rolled her eyes.

“We are just gonna put a cast on it for some weeks. I heard that you’re a dancer so I think it’s important that you heal 100%. But I was a bit bothered though. Have you been on an accident involving this same foot before?”

“Well yeah, I think I had some serious injuries back then.”

“And you didn’t consult a doctor?”

“No.” I said.

“Well, that explains a lot. You see, normally such injuries could only sprain your ankle but I was surprised that there was a fracture considering your body weight and the simplicity of the incident.”

I just nodded my head in response. Meanwhile, Jessica was hanging on to every word the doctor was saying. So I tuned out and prayed silently to get this thing over with and go home.

I saw the doctor leave and Jessica was staring at me in disappointment. “I knew we should’ve gone to the hospital with your injuries before.”

“Sica, the doctor said I’m gonna be fine. I’m not gonna die with a stupid injury okay? So let’s just drop it.”

“Why are you so hot-headed?”

“Who wouldn’t be when I’m in this predicament and all I wanted to do is dance?!” I almost shouted. I felt my cheeks get wet and I didn’t realize I was crying. I felt Jessica wrap her arms around me while I felt myself shook violently, trying to control the sobs that were racking my body. The thought of not escaping the hurt and misery just hit me and I felt so alone and vulnerable than ever. Dancing is all I have. It helps me cope. If I can’t dance, then what will I do?

“Shh.. don’t worry. As you said, you’re fine. You’re gonna get better soon.” Sica whispered in the embrace. She was right. It was nothing serious but I need to dance my sadness away. I let myself sink in the embrace and tried fooling myself that everything will get better.

It’s Friday after school and I was supposed to be at Taeyeon’s house. But I can’t go there in this state. I can barely walk and I’m still not used to dragging my foot using these crutches. All I wasn’t to do was sit and do nothing in particular.

I was trying to keep myself busy by surfing the internet when someone buzzed on the door. “Sica~yah! Can you please get that?” I called out. Seriously, I don’t wanna get up just to answer the door. We don’t get that many visitors so it was probably no one of importance or maybe they’re just Jessica’s friends.

“You’re so lazy you know that?! You are not disabled you know?” I rolled my eyes and I transferred my attention back to my laptop.

The doorbell rang again and I heard Jessica say, “Coming!” I also heard the door open and then there was silence. I tried to listen very carefully, not looking up to see who was at the door but when I didn’t hear a thing, I called out, “Who was it?”

“Hi, I’m looking for Choi Sooyoung.” Someone finally said. Wait a minute… That voice sounded oddly familiar. I placed my laptop on the bed and grabbed my crutches as quickly as I could. And at the door, I was greeted by an almost palpitating Sica, and a insanely gorgeous Taeyeon waiting outside my apartment.

this chapter was something like a filler so i'm so sorry for the lack of sootae..

the transition of the story has to be done atsome point.. and though i'm in a foul mood today.. i did my best to finish this.. 

actually i can't believe i updated. i wasn't planning to actually.

last week was crazy. i got so sick and i just didn't want to do anything.

thanks so much guys for all the amazing reviews.. i love every single one of it.. ^^

oh yeah.. are you guys on SSF? is there any chance that you could maybe promote my stories on the SooTae thread?

also, you can add me up here. i'm not a spammer and i don't blog often so.. :D

thanks guys~~ :)