"i think i-i like y-you already eunha.. n-no wait i'm already half way in love with you" i frozed ,looking at the most beautiful girl standing infront of me with her head hung low..

sojung dragged me hear at the rooftop earlier to confront me to why i'm avoiding her these past few days which i told her honestly that i'm giving myself a time for myself, but when she suddenly said those words i frozed. 

i look all around trying to gather up my thoughts..  i my lower lip ..

kim sojung the girl that i'm so inlove with told me that she's half way in love with me.. 

i let out a sigh that caught her attention as she lift her head to look at me. It gives me a chance to look into her eyes.. 

"p-please say something " she nervously said.. 

it took me a few seconds to gathered up my thoughts "wow~" that's all i managed to say.. 

"i know it's kinda wierd but i wanna try to .. to.. i mean let's date ..let's try .." i cut her

"im in love with you " i said and i saw how her face lit up but the smile that is about to form on her face froze as she saw my expression. 

"honestly, if you said this to me before.. sure,i'll jump non-stop and grab you into a tight hug or cry in happiness " i shake my head while her brows furrowed.. 

"eunha.. "

"because all i want that time is to hear those words from you.. all i'm thinking that time is you sowon.. i only care about you .. because you are my happiness.. you are still my happiness but.. " i took a deep breath as tears starts rolling down to my cheeks. 

"but.. ?" i can see anxiousness in her eyes.. 

my heart are thumping so hard against my chest but i tried to ignore it "but i think i need to reject your offer.. i don't think i can accept it.. i don't think it's the right thing to do.. " i said, struggling to explain what i am feeling right now.. 

"i-i don't understand " she softly said "i don't understand. i mean you've always said that you're in love with me.. you gave me everything just to make me fall in love with you.. and.. and now that i'm here telling you i like you you.. "

"that's the point " i cutted her off again as she look at me with confuse eyes "i already gave you all i have.. i gave you every pieces of me.. i've already gave you everything that i can give and..  and now ,i don't have anything to offer anymore.. nothing left in me to give.. " i look at her with a sad eyes.. 

"i'm still in love with you, i'm sure of that and nothing can change that. I think i just need time for myself, because honestly i don't know myself anymore..  i was so focused on loving you that i forgot to love myself.. i was so focused on giving you everything that i forgot to give something for myself.. i am so in love with you that i can't color my own life anymore because i've already gave you all my paint just to make your life more colorful.. did you understand sojung ?" her confused eyes turns into a sad one.. i wipe my tears.. 

"right now, i'm like an empty can sojung..  i'm just noisy but i'm empty.. god knows how i want to just jump to you and accept that offer but i know if i do that .. sooner or later our relationship will just go to waste.. because i'm already broken..right now i'm full of doubt, full of anxious , full of fear , full of insecurities.. because i lived with that for years .." i stare at her in the eyes.. and i saw guilt on her beautiful orbs.. 

"because that's how you made me feel ..I'm not blaming you because you cleared to me that you only sees me as a friend and nothing more but my stubborn heart still choose to stay by your side and that's my fault and i don't regret it.. " i reach for her face and caress her cheeks.. 

"i just want you to understand... i wan't you to understand what i've realized these past few days..that i need to learn to love myself first for me to continue to love you.. i need to build myself so i can give you all of me again.. i need to fix myself so i won't break easily incase you unintentionally hurt me again.. "

"eunha.. "

i smile at her "i'm in love with you but i just need a time to rest my heart.. use the time to sure your feelings, to gather your thoughts.. i need you to be sure to what you feel.. i've been in love with you for so long kim sojung... i don't want you to be just half way in love with me..  i want you to be hundred percent in love with me.. like how i'm hundred percent in love with you. " 

i gently pat her cheeks.. she's really beautiful

"please understand.. i need to lose you to find me "

-----+

Sowon Pov

i need to lose you to find me.. 

those words rings on my ear as i watch her walking away.. 

i can't blame her... all i can blame is myself.. 

did i blow up my chance?..  is it too late?? 

s