August 12, 2013

"Jisoo!"

Jisoo turns around at the sound of her name. Her face brightens up upon seeing her childhood best friend.

Jisoo: Lalisa! What's up?

Lisa glances around the school's hallways, making sure that no one was eavesdropping. After a bit, she turns back to face Jisoo, a wide grin spread across her face.

Lisa: I'm gonna ask Jennie to be my girlfriend. 

The younger's statement sent a of pain through Jisoo's heart. However, she decides to bury her feelings and plasters on a fake smile. She's gotten so used to it over years that it's now natural for her to put her friends' happiness before herself.

Jisoo: That's great! Make her happy Manoban! If not, I'll kill you.

Lisa chuckles as she playfully slaps Jisoo's arm.

Lisa: You got it Kim. But... I... uh... need your help with something.

Jisoo: What is it?

Lisa: You're the person who seems to know Jennie better than anyone. I want to get Jennie a present. Something meaningful, to show her that I'm serious about this, and that I really care about her. Can you help me?

Jisoo wanted to deny, knowing that it would only cause her more pain. But this was Lisa, and the latter was her best friend. 

Jisoo: Sure. I'd be happy to help.

 

•••

 

June 23, 2015

Lisa tried to blink back the tears in her eyes as she stares at her two best friends standing in front of her. 

Today was the day that she would be leaving to study Business abroad in Australia. It was easier for Lisa to be saying goodbye to Jisoo, for the older girl had been so positive, cracking jokes here and there to ease the mood. 

However, it was more difficult to say goodbye to Jennie, who has now been Lisa's girlfriend of 2 years now. 

Lisa shifted her attention towards Jisoo's direction and gave her a small smile.

Lisa: Hey Ji, can you give Jennie and I a moment?

The older girl glances worriedly between her two best friends before stepping away. Lisa turns back to face Jennie, and felt her heart tighten at the latter's tear stained face.

Lisa pulls the other girl into her arms and gave her a kiss on her forehead. 

Before she could pull away, Jennie quickly wrapped her arms around Lisa's torso and pulled her closer.

Jennie: Please don't leave me Lisa. Stay with me.

Lisa caresses her girlfriend's hair as she gives her another kiss.

Lisa: You know I can't do that Jen. 

The two stayed silent for a bit as Jennie tries to take in the comfort of Lisa's arms. When Lisa finally pulled away, she gives Jennie a sad smile as she lets go of her.

Lisa: Let's break up Jennie-ah.

Jennie was at a loss for words as she stares at Lisa incredulously.

Jennie: W-what?

Lisa: I want us to break up.

Fresh tears started to form in both girls eyes as they stared at each other.

Jennie: I don't want to. Why do we have to break up?

Lisa: I don't know how long I'm gonna be gone for, and I don't to keep you waiting for me. 

Jennie shook her head.

Jennie: I don't care Lisa. I'll wait for you for as long as it takes.

Lisa: You need to move to move on with your life Jennie. You can't keep waiting for me. Long distance relationships are tough, I don't want to go through a messy break up and end up losing my best friend.

Jennie: You're not gonna lose me Lisa. We... we'll work it out. Everything will work out...

Lisa: No it won't. That's not something that you can be sure of Jen.

Jennie: Please don't do this Lisa. Don't do this to me. To us.

Lisa shook her head again as she looks straight into Jennie's eyes.

Lisa: You don't get it Jennie. I don't want any distractions.

Jennie lets go of Lisa's hand as soon as the words had left the latter's mouth.

Jennie: W-what?

Lisa takes in a deep breath before running a hand through her hair.

Lisa: My parents... They've worked so hard all of their lives in order to get me to where I am today. I can't let them down by allowing myself to get distracted. And that includes you.

Jennie could hear the sound of her heart breaking at Lisa's words. Did the latter really think of her as a distraction? Was she holding her back?

Jennie: Don't you love me?

Lisa reaches for Jennie's once more and nodded.

Lisa: Of course I do Jen. That's why I'm letting you go. To move on, and to find someone better than me. Someone who will take care of you and love you. Someone who can do all the things that I can't.

Fresh tears made their way down Jennie's cheeks as she shook her head.

Jennie: I can't let you go Lisa. I love you.

Lisa: And I love you too Jennie-ah. But please understand.

Lisa pulls Jennie in for one last hug as she lets a single tear slip down her face. The older girl buried her face into her girlfriend's shoulder as she broke down in tears. 

After awhile, Lisa pulls away and searches for Jisoo.

Lisa: Jisoo!

The older girl comes over, a sad smile on her face.

Lisa: Take care of Jennie for me, okay?

Jisoo glances cautiously at Jennie's heartbroken face before looking back towards Lisa, already guessing what had happened between the two. 

Slowly she nodded towards the younger girl.

Jisoo: You don't have to ask me to do that Lisa-yah. Don't worry, I'll take care of her. 

Lisa nodded, feeling reassured by Jisoo's words. She breaks into one last smile before giving one final wave.

Lisa: I guess this is goodbye.

Jisoo: Take care of yourself Limario.

Lisa cracks into a small smile at Jisoo calling her by  her nickname.

Lisa: You too Jaesu.

Turning towards Jennie, she leans over to give the latter one last kiss before turning away.

Lisa: Goodbye Jennie.

Jennie hesitates for a while in silence as she watches Lisa walk away before suddenly shouting.

Jennie: I'll wait for you Lisa! I don't care how long it takes! I'll wait for you to come back!

Lisa turns back and gives Jennie a small smile, indicating that she had acknowledged her words.

However as she turns back around to continue towards the entrance, she heaves out a sad sigh.

Despite Jennie's words, she knew it wasn't possible. She didn't know for how long she would be gone for, but she knew that it would be long enough for the two of them to change over the years. 

And when she comes back, they won't be kids anymore. They'll have their own lives and responsibilities to take care of. 

It won't be the same as before.

 

•••

 

As soon as Lisa had disappeared from sight, Jisoo shifts her attention over towards Jennie, and felt her own heart breaking at seeing the younger girl crying.

Seeing Jennie hurt was the one thing she hated most in the world.

It hurts her more than anything to see Jennie cry or being in pain. And if she could, she was willing to sacrifice everything she had, if it ensured Jennie's happiness and safety.

It has always been like that ever since they were kids. 

Whenever Jennie was sad or hurt, she would come to Jisoo for comfort. And every time the older girl would be there, even if it pained her to do so.

And now that Lisa is leaving, Jisoo knew that it would it would be hard for Jennie to be happy again.

Jisoo walks over and wrapped her arms around Jennie, pulling the younger girl into her embrace.

Without hesitation, Jennie turns over and buried her head into Jisoo's shoulder.

Jennie: Lisa broke up with me.

Jisoo: I know.

Jennie: It hurts so much Jisoo.

Jisoo: I know.

Jennie: Why... Why did she do that? 

Jisoo remains silent, not knowing how to reply.

Jennie: She... she said that I was a distraction. Does she not love me enough? Was that why she was willing to let me go?

Jisoo's heart once again throbbed painfully. She shook her head and kissed the top of Jennie's head.

Jisoo: Lisa loves you Jennie. She loves you a lot.

Jennie: Then why?

Jisoo: She just has to focus on her studies right now. Just give her some time. I'm sure she'll come around. 

Jennie quieted down as she took in Jisoo's words. After a while, she responded with a nod, before continuing to cry into Jisoo's shoulder.

Jennie: What am I supposed to do without her? 

Jisoo: You still have me Jendeuk... You'll always have me.

Jennie pulls Jisoo closer to her, and let herself be comforted by the older girl.

Jisoo allows a tear to slip from her eye. 

'I love you Jennie.'

The words she has kept hidden all these years. The words she wanted to tell Jennie. But that was impossible. 

Jisoo loves Jennie, but Jennie will always choose Lisa.