JIYONG'S POV

"Hey."

"Hello, baby."

"I miss you."

"Aww. I miss you too. I'll be home soon though so be a little more patient, okay?"

I couldn't help but sigh. It's been two weeks since I've last seen her because she's busy with her concert tour. Right now, she's in Japan and would be staying there for three more days before she can come home here in Korea. I miss her so damn much that I feel like I'm gonna go crazy if I don't get to see her for another week.

I've never been a clingy boyfriend. Oh, god, no. I let my girlfriend do what they have to do. I mean, most of my ex girlfriends were idols too and I never minded when they had to go on tours for months. But just imagining Taeyeon being gone for even just one month, oh my god, no. I don't think I'd survive.

I'd probably just cancel all my schedules and come with her.

Sometimes, what I feel for Taeyeon scares me. It's like all my past relationships have all just been trials while my relationship with Taeyeon is the real deal. I don't ever want to go wrong with this. I'm afraid to make any mistake because I don't want to cause any misunderstanding between me and her. I want us to always be okay.

"I want to be with you so badly."

"Hang in there a little bit longer, Ji. I have a surprise for you when I come back."

"Surprise? What is it?"

"It wouldn't be a surprise anymore if I tell you."

Yes, but I really need to know because my stupid mind has gone down a very dark path again.

Lately, I've been having a hard time removing all the inappropriate thoughts off my mind. I am honestly going crazy with all these urges but I need to control myself because we've only been together for five months, for heaven's sake. But how can I help it when my girlfriend is just so freaking attractive?

It doesn't help that ever since she went on a tour, she've been sending me photos of herself in her concert outfits that are almost illegal every freaking day. Several random times of the day, my phone would alert me of a new incoming message and I'd open it to see my girlfriend wearing a very tiny red dress with a piercing gaze.

There's one morning I'd never forget though when I have just woken up from a very inappropriate dream and I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My phone beeped and I opened my message to a photo of her who have just also woken up, she was lying on her bed, her hair is in a huge hot mess, and she was only wearing a very see through white shirt with nothing else underneath.  I almost died then as I choked on the water I was drinking.

Remember when I told you she'd be the death of me? Well, that could happen for real.

"Have you eaten or are you gonna skip dinner and just go straight to bed without eating anything for the whole day again?"

I just changed the topic of our conversation so that I'd be on the safe side.

Besides, I really really need to talk to her about her eating habits. Yesterday night, her manager called me and informed me about how Taeyeon doesn't eat anything the whole day. I got really pissed at them too because it's part of their job to make sure of Taeyeon's well-being, but apparently, they can't even convince Taeyeon to eat. I tried to call her after that but she was unreachable and was probably asleep already.

"What? Who told you that?"

"Your manager. What's up, hun? Why aren't you eating?"

I heard her sigh on the other line. "I wasn't really feeling well and my stomach feels funny so I don't want to eat anything that may worsen it. I still have two concert stops here in Japan and I can't be sick just yet. I drank lots of water though, so don't worry."

"Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well?"

"Because I don't think it will matter. I mean, you're there in Korea while I'm here in Japan. Telling you won't change anything. Besides, I'm a big girl, Oppa. I won't deliberately starve myself."

Okay, now, I'm pissed.

I'm not liking her reasoning right now.

"If you're not feeling well, why don't you just tell the management and reschedule the two remaining concert?"

"There are too many things to consider, Ji. Some of the fans just flew here to watch. I can't reschedule it."

"Too many things to consider, and that doesn't include your health?"

"Oh my god, you're blowing it out of proportion. This is not a big deal at all. I told you, it's just my stomach feeling funny. Why are you overreacting?"

Am I overreacting?

. She's there in Japan, while I'm here in Korea. Her manager called me at 10 PM, telling me that she hasn't eaten anything for the whole day. I got worried but she wouldn't even answer my call so I had to wait until today to ask her what's wrong.

Now that I did ask her though, she's telling me I'm just overreacting?

What the heck. She told me I'm overreacting after she basically just said that I can't help her at all. I mean, that's what she basically said, right? She said telling me won't matter and won't change anything.

And it because it's true.

I really don't want her to keep on performing when she's not feeling her best but I know that I can't make her stop. Taeyeon does what she wants. She's that one independent woman that doesn't like being told what to do, and sometimes it just... irritates me.

I am her boyfriend. I love that she's that strong woman, sure. But I want her to need me too.

I want her to lean on me. I want to be her support too.

"You know what? I'm just gonna catch a flight to Japan right now."

"What? Don't be stupid. You have schedules."

"I can cancel them. You're not feeling well and I want to be there."

"It's not like you can heal me, Oppa. What would your presence here change?"

Ouch.

Okay. That stings a little.

to know I'm not needed at all.

"Right. Okay. Sorry for overreacting. You do what you do. I'll just... uh, wait for you here then. I'm sorry, hun."

"Oppa, look---"

"I gotta go. I'll call you later, okay? Do well on your concert."

I ended the call because I don't want to argue with her. I'm realy pissed right now with the situation but I don't want her to know that. I just need to calm myself down. I'll just check on her again later. And ask her manager to take care of her for now.

Also, I am kind of a little hurt by her statement. She doesn't need me at all, when I'm here, craving for her presence and would do anything to have her here again.

I don't know. Maybe I've became too much of a softie ever since we started dating. I don't usually get hurt easily.

Ah, , I don't like myself at the moment.

Instead of dwelling with it, I'll just make myself busy with recording. I still have so many songs to write, anyway.

Sigh. I should just focus on my work today.

I texted Taeyeon's manager first to update me if there's any emergency that concerns Taeyeon. After that, I went inside the studio and started working on my pending songs.

This is what I do to calm myself down. Write songs. And now, my hand is itching to write a song about my girlfriend again. I may be pissed right now, but that woman is my muse. And always will be.

TAEYEON'S POV

He freaking dropped the call on me. What was that?

I tried to call him again several times today but it's either he's straight up ignoring me or he got too busy that he have forgotten he has a girlfriend in Japan trying to reach him.

I know I've said some tactless words earlier. I called Tiffany and she literally shouted at me over the phone about how insensitive I was and that I should be thankful because I have a boyfriend that cares for me like that.

The thing is, I'm not used to this kind of relationship. My ex boyfriends... we even go on weeks without contacting each other. Like I wasn't even in a relationship at all.

I know Ji is different. I do. But I still need to get used to having someone that cares about me more than I care about myself. It feels weird to have him stress about my own troubles. And I don't really want to burden him with it. I don't want him to drop his works just to come here and see me. I don't want him to think less of himself and more of me.

I know he cares for me a lot but I care for him too. He's so ready to come