Thanks for reading~ This chapter is in Mingyu's POV. 

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Mingyu sighed as soon as he entered the apartment. His manager had confused the dates and he had had to rush to the airport so he wouldn’t miss his flight, and he end up arriving to Korea a day prior to the date he told Jihoon.

He took off his shoes and carried his suitcase to the living room. He wasn’t sure if he should unpack or just rest, he was just a tiny bit obsessed with keeping things clean and organized, but he felt tired too. He looked around and found that the apartment was actually cleaner than expected and when he arrived to the kitchen it seemed that Jihoon had used the minimum so he wouldn’t have to clean so much.

He sighed again.

Jihoon have changed a lot since the last time they said goodbye to each other in Japan. He was used to being spoiled by Mingyu in terms of food and the tallest was usually the one cleaning and washing. But after that, Jihoon would give him a massage and then they would make out in every room of the apartment Mingyu had just cleaned.

But after a year of being away from the other, Jihoon seemed to be doing great on his own. He had never been a fan of cooking, but Mingyu knew Jihoon had been cooking at home when they couldn’t eat together. Sometimes the other would even leave some food for Mingyu to eat in the refrigerator. He had also developed a routine for washing his clothes and was really conscious of cleaning the kitchen and kitchen tools before going to sleep. Mingyu felt like the other didn’t need him anymore to take care of him.

And things went beyond that. He couldn’t remember the last time he had given the other a piggy back ride home or took crazy pictures of their dates.

At one point they had stopped doing those things and he thought it may be normal since they have matured and were more focused on their careers. But they had been so focused on working that their relationship had lost its spark as time passed by.

He had accepted the modeling project in Europe because it was a dream of his and Jihoon understood that and supported him. But maybe it had been a mistake. After a year of being away from each other and with Jihoon only a couple of months back in Korea, it was probably the worst decision Mingyu could have taken.

He had noticed the other was acting weird, leaving the party where he had introduced him to his friends without a word or staring into space and sighing more than he ever did in Japan. That was why Mingyu had come up with the idea of moving back to Japan, or for at least Jihoon to move back while he was away. Having Jihoon there waiting for him gave him a feeling of normality, something that had happened many times before when he had shorter trips. But then he had seen tears in Jihoon’s eyes and he didn’t want the other to feel he wasn’t welcome back to Mingyu’s side or that he didn’t appreciate his decision of leaving everything in Japan to move to Korea with him, so he let the topic drop and left as planned.

And he should have returned after the first month, before their distance grew even more. But he hadn’t realized that at the moment, he had been too excited with the idea of traveling around Europe and meeting famous designers and photographers. And Jihoon had just accepted it all. They have always been very supportive to each other’s dreams, even when it seemed that the things they liked had become more and more distant.

And Mingyu had gotten used to their minimum communication, believing that the other was too busy or stressed out. Jihoon would always ignore the world and stay in his music studio when that happened. At least the other was letting him know he was eating and sleeping well. Mingyu had stopped expecting an ‘I miss you’ message back; it wasn’t Jihoon-like to say things like that.

Still he wanted to believe things would get better as his returning date got closer, but then the rumors started. One of his model friends let him know that models that were associated to Choi Company had seeing Jihoon together with Mr. Choi Seungcheol. He had wanted to ask, but Jihoon had already told him he was composing for singers that would be featured in Choi Company’s magazine. So he tried not to worry as his friend told him again that Mr. Choi seemed to be really close to Jihoon. But just a couple of days ago, another model that he had introduced Jihoon to, sent him a message telling him he was sure he had seen Jihoon kissing another guy at the Han River Festival. And Mingyu didn’t know what to think of that.

But the rush of finishing his modeling project and returning to Korea had taken all his time. And during the flight back his manager had tired him out by letting him know all about other projects that he had in Korea in case he decided to reject the offer to return to Europe. But now, in the silence of his apartment, all the thoughts about Jihoon and Jihoon kissing someone else had started to invade his mind.

He wanted to believe the other model had seen wrong, that there had to be a rational explanation. That Jihoon probably had gone there with Soonyoung and the other was being clingy as always. That even if Jihoon had gotten closer to the heir of Choi Company, he wouldn’t be going to festivals with him or kissing him. After all Jihoon was his boyfriend and Mr. Choi was engaged, Jihoon wouldn’t do that to him.

But then his eyes traveled to the open door of Jihoon’s home music studio. Jihoon had promised to write him a song and Mingyu was sure it would enlighten him of where their relationship was. He had read and listened all types of songs coming from Jihoon, the other was better at expressing himself through songs and if he was angry or sad, or in love…his lyrics would show it.

So he entered the music studio, a small smile appearing on his face as soon as he saw the disorganized desk. When Jihoon had his ‘write-compose marathon’, he wouldn’t care about organizing his music sheets. He had those episodes often back in university for days and he wouldn’t know which song he wrote first or on which day. That’s why Mingyu had practically forced him to keep order by writing in the top of the page the date and number so he wouldn’t turn crazy when it was his presentation day.

And Jihoon had taken that advice by heart and Mingyu’s smile grew a bit more when he noticed the numbers on top of every music sheet. They all had the same date as expected of the ‘write-compose marathon’, but Mingyu didn’t know why his hands started trembling when he reached out to grab the music sheets.

He wanted to believe that at least one, if not all them were dedicated to him. Jihoon would normally take all his songs that were made for work to his music studio in the company; he would only keep the ones he considered too personal to share.

So Mingyu took a deep breath before he started reading.

“The party ends, everyone goes home

I go with your face stuck in my soul

And without really knowing you, I already begin to miss you

It seems that I got used to you in a single day

That I have been missing you as if I've known you for years

It seems that in just one dance I gave you my life

It seems that the feeling won over the rules that existed"

Mingyu let all the air out of his lungs. He didn’t know he had stopped breathing while reading the lyrics and he tried to think that was the reason his chest felt so tight. Jihoon hated parties and he only danced when he was completely drunk. And Jihoon had once told him that if they hadn’t been roommates back in university they would probably have never gotten close. That he didn’t believe in love at first sight.

He grabbed the next music sheet and tried to calm his racing heart.

“I can’t say the words to express that I like you

I do not know how to explain to you,

That you make me feel as if it was summer and winter did not exist

As if everything stops

And with that smile, that changes life, you looked over here”

Mingyu felt the tears pooling in his eyes. In one of the songs Jihoon had written for him, he compared Mingyu to spring and how his smile was like a blooming flower. Not like summer…not a life changing smile.

His hands were still trembling when he grabbed the next music sheet.

“You know that I have little to give you

I would like for it to be the world although it can’t be

But I can fill your ears with all my songs

They are not much, but I made them full of illusions

And if your heart does not see my offer

I beg you do not see it with indifference,

Patience, that my love is like moonlight,

Soft, but lightens up the corners where your soul is dark

If you want me, tell me. Tell me”

Mingyu’s tears were running down his cheeks as he crumpled the music sheet. He didn’t want to believe Jihoon was offering his songs-his love- to someone else. He must be mistaken. Jihoon was probably waiting for him, waiting for Mingyu to tell him that no matter the distance, his feelings haven’t changed.

He sat down on the chair in front of the desk and took a deep breath. He wiped away his tears and took the music sheet that seemed to be a fully written song.

“I want to tell you that I'm thinking of making a mistake

I'm going to tell you something that I can’t keep anymore

I already tried, but I can’t stand it anymore

I know that there is another person who takes care of your heart

I have one too, but I've lost my mind

I'll tell you

I confess that this has never happened to me before

And I confess that I don’t want to hurt anyone

But it’s been a long time since lost myself in your eyes

I want to dance with you until you fall in love

And even if we sow our dreams based on mistakes

I promise you love, that love will grow

Because flowers come after every winter”

Mingyu bit his lower lip as tears started falling again. He couldn’t deny things anymore. He felt hurt, angry and lost.

How come Jihoon had developed such feelings for a person in such a short time? Feelings that were so strong he didn’t mind both of them were in relationship. He even acknowledged it was a mistake, but still wanted to see it through.

Why? Why did he have to hurt him like this?

Were all these years together just a backup plan for Jihoon?

Was Mingyu just a joke to him?

If not, then what was it? What could Choi Seungcheol offer Jihoon that the other would be interested in?  Was Mingyu not enough?

He looked at the music sheets in the desk and he just wanted to rip them into pieces. But as he stood up, he heard the front door opening and he felt a pang in his chest.

He grabbed all the papers and walked out of the room only to find a shocked Jihoon standing in the living room. They stood there in silence looking at each other and Mingyu could feel his heart breaking.

Jihoon’s hair was black again after many years. He looked mature and young at the same time. But also heartbreakingly fragile as Jihoon’s lips and hands started trembling after noticing the music sheets Mingyu had in his hand. The tallest wanted to hug him, but at the same time he wanted to push him away. Because he had been honest with Jihoon when he told him he was the prettiest person for him no matter how many models he had met, and yet, now he was destroying him with that pretty face of his.

Since when the other had stopped loving him?

Why couldn’t Jihoon be honest with him?

Didn’t he deserve an explanation instead of being surrounded by rumors?

Mingyu didn’t know what expression he had on his face as he approached the other, but with each step his hurt and anger started rising up in his chest to the point he felt like he could explode. He wanted to say so many things, to express everything he was feeling at the moment. But all his heart could come up with was that he was no longer important enough to be the other’s music inspiration.

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The lyrics are the translation of the Spanish lyrics of the following songs:

MORAT – EN UN SOLO DIA

SEBASTIAN YATRA-COMO MIRARTE

VOZ VEIS- AUNQUE SEA POCO