10 DAYS LEFT

You sipped coffee mechanically.  Luckily, no one had arrived up at the office yet and the workroom was still.   Onew’s visit last night had crushed something vital in you.  It was one thing to accept intellectually that this crazy deception was all to protect him, to remind yourself that after the person threatening your life had been captured you could explain it all to him…..

The coffee mug  clacked roughly against the table as you set it down in disgust. 

What am I thinking?  I must be stupid.   As if breaking his heart, as if LYING to him will all be forgiven the instant he finds out my motives.  Everything will be sweetness and light and he’ll run back to my arms, praising my loyalty.  God, I am so stupid. 

Your heart twisted and tears gathered as you remembered last night.

Flashback

“But then…,” Onew wavered then hardened, “but then….you kissed him.  You were seen kissing another man.”  

And still there was nothing you could say to defend yourself.  It was true.  You had kissed Daniel outside the café.  A distant corner of your mind wondered who had seen you, but the rest was busy dying by inches.

No.  You couldn’t do this.  It was too hard, too much to ask of your heart.  You grabbed his hand, dropping to your knees in front of him.  You inhaled deeply, ready to spill everything….the letters, the threats, your plan, Daniel’s involvement, everything.

“Onew, I-“

“What’s all the noise about babe?”  Daniel strolled lazily into the living room, shirtless, hitching his boxers slightly higher on his hip and running a quick hand through artfully mussed hair.

You stared in shock. Daniel had definitely NOT been undressed minutes before.  What the hell was he thinking?!  But it was too late.  The opportunity to explain had been torpedoed.  The wreckage would remain in the water; there was no rescue, no recovery from this.

And in the instant of your frozen shock, whatever remaining trust Onew may have had in you shattered. 

He ripped his hand from underneath yours, standing in offended rage.  You fell to your , unable to do more that call out after him as he strode around your prone form towards the half-dressed man smirking lazily in the doorway.

You honestly thought that Onew might throw a punch, but all he did was turn abruptly, sweeping his gaze back and forth between Daniel and yourself.  His voice was icily polite.

“I wish you every happiness.”

And he was gone.  Out the door, which he closed quietly behind himself.  Somehow it was louder and more final than any slammed door could have been.

Tears were already pouring down your face as you looked up at Daniel pathetically.

"Why,” you implored him, “Why would y-you d-do th-that to m-m-me?”

He sighed and ran both hands through his hair again, a nervous gesture you would never have expected from him.  “Because you can’t tell him, ____-ah.  You can’t.  If you do, you place him and everyone else you care about in danger as well.  I told you in the beginning this would be hard.  Pain is your price, and you agreed to pay it.  It was your choice: to save his life at all costs.   And you hired me to make sure you wouldn’t back out.  To make sure you can play the bait well enough to draw this guy out.  Or do you want to forever worry whether he’s out there ready to steal, kill, and destroy everything you love?”

He moved and knelt next to you on the carpet, cupping your chin in strong hands.  He didn’t bother to swipe at the tears wetting his palms.  Sympathetic eyes held you as you sniffed and reluctantly nodded.

End Flashback

Approaching voices from down the hallway pulled you from replaying that horrid scene for the thousandth time.  Quickly turning back to the computer screen, you pulled up the itinerary for the last week before the presentation concert.   Long lists of numbers and locations, of budgets and fittings and transportation, coordinator contacts and other minutiae flooded the screen and you stared intently, as if fascinated by all the details.   Happy voices of the workers and good mornings floated in the room as you waved distractedly.  Only 10 days left, and God only knew how this tragedy with Onew would affect the project.   It will be awkward at the least, you pondered, and ignored your heart as it throbbed again.

All of your suspicions were confirmed when the SHINee manager called just after 9am to inform you that the guys would be unable to meet their fitting schedule for the first two looks that morning.  After inquiring if it could be moved to the afternoon, the answer was still no.    It had taken all your authority and a reminder that the President was expecting full cooperation to nail down a time for the next morning.     The third look was going up on the mannequins piece by piece, and you smiled the tiniest bit.  At least you still had fashion.  Like a proud mom, you were in love with the clothes.  You secretly admitted that it was your favorite look, distinquished  and classic and y without being stuck up.  You could see it on the boys, the way the clothes would drape and caress and highlight their handsome looks- each different and unique.  Your took a moment to put away all the other crap and just enjoy an inner fangirl moment at envisioning the album jacket photos  with YOUR design featured.

But that’s all it lasted, the barest of moments, as your stupid imagination provided a detailed image of Onew in the clothes you had made to emphasize his often-under appreciated physique.   It had been a source of amusement to you that Onew was mostly unaware of his appeal- his long neck and killer post-musical arms, the strong back and luscious thighs.  This design in particular was going to draw subtle attention to all those areas,  you wanted to show all the other girls what they were missing. 

Your internal voice (that b****!) thoughtfully provided,

Except that now you’ll be missing out on it too.

Enough, you reasoned.  You announced a break for lunch and watched as everyone headed out.  You rubbed dry fingers against your closed eyelids, trying to relieve the blurriness.  Oh well.  You decided that a quick lunch in the SM Building cafeteria would be enough for today.  You didn’t feel hungry, actually, but the thought of your Mom scolding you for neglecting your health couldn’t be erased.  Grabbing your phone you headed out for ramen- easy enough and bland enough that hopefully your stress-soured stomach wouldn’t reject it immediately.

And that’s when you found out just how high a price your ongoing deception would force you to pay.

A/N: So another chapter up!  Enjoy ladies & gents....thanks for those still commenting- really it encourages the heckfire out of me to see those simple little notes.