I take in this moment, I can still hear the crickets chirping in the distance. I hold onto Sesshomaru’s neck, He is motionless on the other hand. He’s probably surprised by my sudden action, I don’t blame him. Alright, I’ll follow down the path of love and love Sesshomaru because he said that he loves me. I proceed to pull my lips away from his as I feel no reciprocation from him, when I feel his lips caresses mine gently in return suddenly. A  gentle kiss with a tint of sadness. I then pull my lips away from his, I lower back down onto the soles of my feet again and I look up at Sesshomaru once my eyes opens. Sesshomaru’s gorgeous eyes opens as well, the magenta stripes disappears as his golden irises flicks to mine. His eyes darts back and forth as he looks at me.

“What’s wrong Sesshomaru?” I ask him.

“Why did you do that?” He asks me quietly.

“You told me that you love me, and I think I finally figured out my feelings as well. I care about you a lot, and being around you feels so comforting. So I’d like to believe that I’m in love with you as well, this kiss was for me to confirm everything and let you know that…I feel the same.” I tell him with a smile.

Sesshomaru’s brows slightly furrows, his left hand comes up and he holds my face.

“Are you sure that is how you feel?” He asks me.

I ponder on his question for a split second, and I smile. I place my right hand over his that is on my face, and I hold it.

“Yes, that is truly how I feel.” I tell him.

“__________…” Sesshomaru quietly says.

I smile in return, I then take a step forward. I wrap my two arms around Sesshomaru’s waist, his strong and broad torso is too much for me to wrap my arms around but I try my best. He’s warm, the soft silk of his white kimono touches my skin. The fur around his shoulder tickles my face, I lean my head against his chest just below the spiked chest guard.

“You said that you can’t have me, and you said that I’m not yours. I don’t know what the reason is or why you said that, but I would like to make it work.” I tell him quietly.

Sesshomaru doesn’t respond for a few seconds, then I feel his left hand gently rest on the top of my head, I then feel his chin on the top of my head as well. His scent overwhelms me, it’s comforting. The sun has completely set by now, the stars are out and the crescent moon hangs above us. I then pull away from him slightly and look up at him, Sesshomaru is gazing down at me with a gentle expression.

“Let’s stay here for the night, I would like to spend more time with you.” I ask him.

“As you like.” He replies with a subtle smile.

I nod in response, I take his hand into mine. His large hand covers mine completely, the two of us walk through the field together back to the tall tree. Sesshomaru helps me back up onto the tree branch, he leans back against the trunk and I lean against his chest as I sit between his legs on the tree branch. His hands are holding my arms and he holds me close to him, I rest my head at the base of his neck, he gently rests his cheek against my temple. The two of us look out into the black distance sprinkled with dazzling stars accompanied by the sounds of crickets, it’s so peaceful.

“Have you ever loved any before me?” I ask him.

“Why are you asking me that?” He replies.

“Just curious, I won’t be jealous or anything.” I tell him with a light chuckle.

Sesshomaru doesn’t reply for a few seconds, I can hear him breathing quietly.

“Yes.” He finally says.

“I see, what type of person was she?” I ask him.

For some reason, I don’t feel any jealousy at all, in fact, I feel happy for him, I’m happy that he’s a demon who knows love prior to meeting me. I wonder what type of person she was that made a demon like him fall in love.

“Do you really want to know?” He asks me.

I sit up slightly and I look back at him, his amber eyes falls on mine. The crescent moon on his forehead and the stripes on his face defines his features beautifully.

“I think it’d be nice to know what kind of person she was.” I say with a smile.

Sesshomaru looks at me in silence for a moment, his amber orbs travels around my face.

“She was a brave woman, brave to the point that she would stand in front of danger to protect what is dear to her. She actually reached the brink of death once, but she lived. Her bravery and her strong will to protect what is important to her was what captured me, I told myself that I would protect her no matter what. As much as I would like to deny it, but she was already taken by someone else, she was someone else’s love.” Sesshomaru finally says.

“I see… so it was a one sided love…” I say touching his face.

“Yes, a daiyokai like me does not need to feel any human emotions, and I believed that it was useless. But in these few years, they have made themselves into my very being. She just increased the feeling and allowed me to know what it's like of loving someone.” He adds.

I nod in response, my heart ached for him slightly. To have a one sided love is the worst feeling ever, and to not have them returned is even worse. For a demon to experience those emotions, it must be difficult. I lean back against his chest and rest my head below his chin, his arms comes around me again gently.

“So what made you fall in love with me?” I ask him quietly.

Sesshomaru doesn’t reply again for a moment, his chest rises and falls in a constant rhythm.

“You’re just like her…” He finally answers.

“Would you say that I’m a replacement for her in your heart?” I joking ask him.

Sesshomaru’s hold around me tightens a little.

“Never had that cross my mind, I love you because you’re you. You and her may be similar in many ways, but I know, that you are not her. You’re different, because you love me. That is all.” I hear him say from above me.

I listen to his words, and I think on them. Yes… I…do love him… I hold onto his kimono sleeve, and I close my eyes.

“It’s nice to end the day like this is’t it?” I ask him starting to get drowsy.

I feel his hand come up and glide down my hair.

“Yes, rest___________, the day has come to an end. Goodnight.” I hear him say.

“Goodnight Sesshomaru.” I reply back.

After I say that I feel my consciousness fading away, the gentle caress of his hand through my hair helps lull me to sleep as well. My consciousness is fading drastically, but I hear a voice, so quiet, so quietly floating around me.

“I was selfish and let my feelings out today to her, let me love her openly as she is now as long as I’m able to. For I know, she was never mine to begin with. When she remembers it all, I’ll resolve my feelings for her…” the quiet voice says.

I can’t tell if it’s a dream, or reality. The voice sounds a bit disoriented as well… but it sounds like… Sesshomaru? I don’t know anymore, it's hard to pinpoint who it really is. I black out, I open my eyes to the sunlight once again. I seem to be in the air, I then remember that I’m on a branch a good few meters off the ground. I sit up and rub my eyes, my back is bit sore from sleeping in an awkward position.

“Did you rest well?” A rich but low voice asks me.

I stop rubbing my eyes and I look beside me, that’s when last night hits me. Sesshomaru told me that he loved me, and I kissed him back to show my feelings. His amber eyes falls on mine in silence, yesterday seems to be a dream. Unreal.

“Yea, I did rest well. And you?” I ask him.

“I suppose I did.” He replies with a subtle smile.

“Did yesterday happen? That you told me that you love me?” I ask him quietly.

Sesshomaru looks at me with an unreadable expression.

“Yes, me expressing my feelings was real. Your feelings on the other hand is for you to realize yourself.” He finally tells me softly.

“I see.” I reply with a smile.

For a second, I got lost in my thoughts.

“I’ll take you back to the village.” Sesshomaru says pulling me out from my train of thoughts.

I nod in response, Sesshomaru helps me down from the tree. He then brings us back to Lady Kaede’s village, the two of us holding hands on the way back. When we arrive just outside the entrance, I let go of his hand and turn to face him.

“Thanks for bringing me back, are you staying for bit?” I ask him.

“No, I have some things to take care of.” He replies.

He seem to be a little distant, instead of feeling of hurt I’m more curious. Something seems to be bothering him, I wonder what it is. I’ll ask him next time since he needs to leave.

“Alright I understand, I’ll see you around then.” I say to him with a smile.

Sesshomaru shows me a subtle smile, he then turns to leave. Seeing him smile relieves my worry, I watch him leave. After he disappears, I head to the big hut, I think they just started eating. After returning to the hut, I take a deep breath. I remembered that I didn’t tell them where I was going last night, they might be worried. I’ll apologize for worrying them and tell them about Sesshomaru and I, I proceed to lift the curtain.

“_______________? You’re back?” Miroku says with a start from the breakfast table.

“Ya, I’m back. Sorry for worrying you all, I was out all night last night and forgot to tell you.” I say with a bow.

“Not at all, Inuyasha could still detect your scent because you weren’t too far away.” Kagome says.

“And, right now, the smell of Sesshomaru is evident on you.” Inuyasha says his ears twitching as he scrunches his nose.

“Oh? You were with Sesshomaru?” Sango asks me with raised eyebrows.

“Uhm, yes, I was. I was with him all night.” I reply back to them quietly.

“That’s new, never had you stayed out all night with him.” Inuyasha says eating a fish.

I think I should tell them now... yes... now. I sit down and straighten my back, I look at all of them.

“I have something to tell you all.” I begin.

“What is it?” Sango answers.

“The reason I stayed out all night with Sesshomaru was because, he confessed his feelings to me.” I tell them in one go.

Inuyasha spits out his fish in shock and his eyebrows shoots up.

“What?!” He shouts.

I flinch slightly at his sudden aftershock, they all look at me surprised.

“He told you that he loves you?” Kagome confirms.

“Yes... he told me that he loves me." I reply a bit taken aback myself from their reactions.

“How could he, he knows so well th...” Inuyasha begins.

Kagome grabs his arm and squeezes it, I look at their expressions as Kagome shakes her head subtly at Inuyasha.

“And what is your answer? Do you love him back?” Kagome asks me with a serious tone.

I ponder on her question, do I love Sesshomaru? I mean, I spent the night with him and I kissed him. That’s enough proof that I love him back right?

“I believe I am in love with him as well.” I finally say.

Kagome furrows her brows slightly, Inuyasha’s ears looks like it’s about to stand on end. The atmosphere seems a bit tense.

“I see, well, I hope your feelings will solidify in time and you’ll be able find the real you.” Miroku finally says with a smile.

I nod back in response. I see Miroku giving all of them a look, Inuyasha calms down a bit as he nods back to Miroku. The tension seem to dispersed a little, clearly they don’t really approve my relationship with Sesshomaru. Wonder what the reason is... perhaps... Naraku? As I think of him, I look around the room.

“Where’s Naraku?” I ask them as I can’t find him.

“Naraku is out right now, he told us that he wants to take the whole day to travel a bit and see some things.” Rin replies.

“Ah... I see...” I answer back.

I feel a bit disappointed that he’s not here, I haven’t seen him in a while. It’s a bit sad how we’re in the same village but we always miss each other at the wrong time. I help around the village as much as I can just like every other day, the morning sun transitions into an evening glow. Time passes without stopping for anyone, I also remember that I have to return home soon, half a year is almost up. Everything seem to be thrown at me all at once and it’s a bit mind boggling, soon the stars inserts themselves in the darkness with a central light source which is the moon. We had dinner together, but Naraku still isn’t back yet. I feel a bit restless knowing that he’s not back yet. After help cleaning up and bidding everyone goodnight, I head to the flower field hoping to find him there. To be honest, I miss him a bit. It hasn’t been long but for some reason it feels a bit empty when he’s not around. I almost forgot what his eyes look like again, unlike Sesshomaru’s which I can see everyday almost. They said he’s coming back tonight, perhaps he’ll drop by the field. I’ll wait for him there, I run to the field. After a few minutes I finally arrive, my heart is beating fast because I basically ran and from anticipation. I steady my breathing and step into the tall grass, with the help of the moonlight I scan the field. I feel my eagerness fainting when I don’t see him, I walk to the middle of the field regardless. I guess I’ll sit for a while and see if he comes back or not, I stop at where Naraku usually sits and I sit down on the same spot. The tall grass conceals me within them. The gentle night breeze blows across the vast place, I look up at the stars. For some unknown reason, I seem to be thinking about Naraku all day today instead of Sesshomaru. I pull my knees to my chest and I close my eyes, it’s pretty late in the night but I guess a few minutes of staying up won’t do any harm. In no time, I drift off. I feel my consciousness slightly coming back to me, a cool breeze brushes against my face and I shiver slightly. Instinctively, I go to pull something to cover myself up, my left hand wonders around until it falls on something silky covering my body. I can feel the velvety feel of the fabric between my fingers, it feels nice. I force myself to open my eyes, the stars are still out and the moon still shines. I’m looking up at them, if I’m looking up at them that means I must have fallen asleep and toppled over. I prop myself up from the grass and I rub my eyes, I look down at what is covering me. Under the moonlight, it’s a kimono vest, a purple silk kimono vest. Where have I seen this before?

“You’re awake?” A voice says pulling me out of my thoughts and my sleepiness.

I look to my left in a start, right away I see the side profile of someone’s face. His skin is fair and his face is defined nicely, his long wavy black hair sways gently and covering his eyes slightly. He then turns his head to look at me, and I see them. Two bright crimson orbs that are his eyes.

“Naraku! You’re back!” I say with a smile.

I don’t know why but I feel an overwhelming feeling of happiness upon seeing him, my arms involuntarily goes around his neck and I push my weight against him as I find myself hugging him. I probably surprised Naraku because his eyes just widened double the normal size, I’m surprised myself too. My weight causes the two of us to fall over with Naraku underneath me.

“Oof.” We both let out as we hit the grassy ground.

I lift my head off of his strong chest and I look at him, our noses are just barely touching each others, his eyes are so close to my face that all I can see are two red circular shapes with a white circle in the middle. Oh... how unique and beautiful they are. Our faces are so close that I can feel his soft breathing, we just both stare at each other without saying anything. I don’t know why I did that, but I feel my heartbeat increasing in speed and my cheeks heating up. Naraku just looks at me slightly dumbfounded, his black bangs hovers above his eyes.

“Are you alright?” He asks me.

My eyes goes wide as I realize what just happened, I push myself off of him and I clear my throat. I smooth out my hair as I regain my composure, Naraku slowly sits up as well.

“Sorry about that, I was just really happy to see you since I haven’t seen you in a while. Adrenaline got the best of me.” I say embarrassed.

“I see, glad to have someone welcome me back after a day of being alone. Thank you.” He responds with a light smile.

His smile is nice to look at, a bit mysterious but also gentle. I don’t know why I hugged him.

“You’re welcome, I was a bit worried since you were out by yourself. Guess I just wanted to make sure that you’re alright and waiting for your return.” I tell him.

“I’d appreciate that you care for my well-being, but I'm a demon, it will take a lot to hurt me. It has been a few days since we sat down and talked underneath the stars.” Naraku replies looking out.

“Yes indeed, to be honest, I kind of missed it.” I add looking out with him.

The two of us sit side by side and looking up at the dark space with sprinkled white spots within it, I’m holding Naraku’s vest on my lap. Now that Naraku and I are sitting here, perhaps I should tell him about Sesshomaru and I. For some reason, I feel a bit nervous. Why? Is it because of what Kagome and the others has told me, that I use to be in a relationship with Naraku, is that what makes this situation a bit awkward and nerve wracking? But if Naraku and I were actually together in the past, I have no memories of it, it could be false it could be true but it’s not the past anymore. Right? I take a deep breath.

“Something’s on your mind isn’t there?” Naraku suddenly asks me out of the blue.

I turn my head to look at him, Naraku turns his head to look at me as well. I guess his demonic senses figured it out, guess I can’t hide from him and I should tell him in order for me to move on from this all.

“I actually do have something that I would like you to know. Sesshomaru confessed to me yesterday about his feelings for me, and... I reciprocated his feelings.” I tell him.

For some reason, it felt hard for me to get the words out. I feel my heart beating through my ears, Naraku’s face turns slightly expressionless, the once bright red irises of his eyes suddenly seem to extinguish slightly turning into a dull maroon. A slight pang of heartache appears deep inside of me, he looks broken almost. I want to say something, I try to organize my mind.

“You love him don’t you? With all your heart?” He asks me with a smile.

His question all of sudden seem to wash away my words in an instance, I feel my mind going blank. I can’t say anything, nothing is coming out. Naraku nods slowly.

“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy for you_____________. Sesshomaru has been there for you a lot, having him, you will never get hurt. I give you my blessings, and thank you for trusting me and telling me.” Naraku responds.

“Yea... thanks. Glad that I could tell you.” I say with an exhale.

“It’s late, now that I’m back and you’ve clarified it, get some rest________________.” Naraku responds.

I feel a slight disappointment that he wants me to rest instead of staying here with him longer.

“You sure you don’t need me to stay longer?” I ask him.

“I’ll be alright, you do not need to worry about me. I’m a demon after all.” Naraku answers with a smile.

As I looked at his smile, for some reason I can see it hiding unspoken emotions.

“If I remember, you were a demon of deceit. You say you’re alright but your smile shows me something else.” I say without realizing it.

Naraku’s smile suddenly becomes slightly neutral, he lowers his eyes to the ground and his eyelashes hides his eyes.

“I may have been the demon of deceit but I can assure you, I’m alright. You need your rest, you fell asleep earlier.” Naraku responds with a slight chuckle.

I guess he’s right, I did fall asleep earlier.

“Ya I guess you’re right. If you say that you're alright, then I'll trust you on your words. I’m heading back then.” I tell him.

Naraku nods, he stands up and hold out his right hand to me. I look at him and I take his hand, his skin is cool and smooth. His hand fits nicely with mine, for some reason... it feels right. My heart is beating faster, in a good way. Naraku helps me up and I look at him in the eyes, they are gentle but they say the eyes holds your soul.

“Here I’ll give you your vest back.” I say holding out the vest to him.

“It’s alright, the night’s wind is bit cold. Please use it on the way back to the village, I’ll retrieve it one of these days.” He tells me.

“Oh... alright. Thank you. Well, good night Naraku.” I tell him.

“Goodnight, ______________.” He replies.

I nod, I turn away from him and I walk out of the field, I hold his vest close to me. When I reach the edge of the field I turn around to look back at him, I see his silhouette lit by the moonlight. He’s looking out into the distance again, I exhale and I head back to the village. After returning to my hut and laying out the futon and changing into my nightwear, I sit down and I look out the window. The moonlight stream in through the window into the dark doom, I’m holding Naraku’s vest in my lap. I run my fingers along the velvety fabric, although it’s my first time actually touching this vest properly but somehow it feels familiar. Why was it so difficult for me to tell Naraku about Sesshomaru and I, he’s just a friend like Kagome and the others. As I think of Naraku being alone in the field, my heart aches. He told me he’s alright, so I’ll believe in those words. I fold up his vest and place it to the side, I then lay down onto the futon. I close my eyes and try to sleep, but the thoughts of Naraku keep circling in my head. Eventually, I fall asleep after an hour. I wake up to the morning light once again, I squint my eyes. It’s so bright and it hurts my eyes, I feel a slight sickness. I don’t want to get up and do anything, I just don’t have the will to get up. My head is slightly dizzy and I feel like throwing up, I take a deep breath and I close my eyes. It’s not really helping, I fling my arms to the side of me in frustration. My right hand touches something velvety, I then realize what it is. I tilt my head to the side and I see that my hand has touched Naraku’s vest, his vest has a soothing feel to it. I seem to have forgotten about my nauseousness. I take hold of his vest and I look at it, I run my hands along it again. I feel tired and still slightly sick, I bring it to my chest and I close my eyes. Why is his vest so comforting? There are many vests with the same fabrics so why is his any different? It boggles my mind, in no time I fall asleep again. When my eyes open, the sunlight is still evident but it’s starting to become tinted with orange. Is it the late afternoon early evening already? I sit up, my sickness has subsided but my head is a bit woozy from all the sleep. A cloth falls from my forehead, were the others here earlier? I feel my legs being a bit numb and I’m still lacking a bit of strength in me, I don’t know if I can get up and do anything. I used all my strength to prevent myself from gagging this morning, I should applause myself for that. Suddenly, the door knocks and I look up.

“Who is it?” I ask.

“It’s me Kagome.” A voice replies.

“Come on in.” I reply.

The door opens and Kagome comes in with a tray of food, I sit up to greet her.

“Kagome hi, sorry I couldn’t greet you all today, I was feeling a bit sick. I tell her.

“No worries, we actually came to check on you earlier but noticed that you were sleeping. You didn’t seem to wake up so we assumed that you were sick but wasn’t sure if it was a fever or not so we just placed a towel on your forehead and hoped to give you some medicine after you wake up. How are you feeling now? Are you hungry?” She asks me.

“Thank you for taking care of me, I don’t know what happened this morning either I just woke up feeling nauseous. I’m alright now, no medicine needed, just a bit hungry.” I reply back with a smile.

“Great! Good thing I brought a tray of food here, it’s good to see that you have your appetite. Here eat up.” Kagome says placing the tray onto my lap.

I place Naraku’s vest onto the side and I pick up the chopsticks. I pick up a piece of marinated fried fish, the strong flavour fills my tastebuds.

“Is that Naraku’s vest?” Kagome suddenly asks me.

“Sorry? Oh yes, it’s Naraku’s. I went to the flower field last night and waited for him to come back, I fell asleep while waiting and he gave me this as a cover. I’ll be giving it back to him as soon a possible.” I tell her.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. You seem to be fond of Naraku quite a bit aren’t you?” Kagome asks me with a smile.

She seem to ask me everything I'm close to someone, it's a bit funny to be honest.

“I am quite fond of Naraku yes, he is someone dear to me just like you all. Despite being a demon and knowing about his past, it has never occurred to me that he’s a demon unless if it’s mentioned. Our conversations are never long, but talking with him…brings me joy and most of the time I anticipate our next conversation.” I say with a smile.

“And why is that? Kagome asks me softly.

I look at her slightly confused about her question, why? I start to feel slightly embarrassed. I clear my throat.

“It’s because we rarely see each other, we always seem to miss the chance to talk in the day. So I guess the anticipation comes from that.” I tell her.

For some unknown reason, I hold my breath. Kagome lowers her eyes and shows me a gentle smile.

“I see, I hope your friendship with Naraku will last forever. I’m cheering for you both.” She says giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

“Thanks Kagome.” I reply back with a smile of my own.

“Now, take the rest of the day to rest up so that tomorrow you can be more energized. It’s the evening now so I’m going to go back and help Sango and Lady Kaede with dinner, if you get hungry again later in the night, just come to the hut we will make extra for you just in case.” Kagome tells me.

“Thank you, and please relay my thanks to the others as well.” I give her a head bow.

“Of course, rest well, see you tomorrow___________.” Kagome bids me goodbye.

I nod, Kagome gets up and leaves, I finish eating and I lay back down onto the futon. I stare up at the ceiling for a bit and I close my eyes, I should at least get up and walk a bit later. In time, I doze off again. When I come to, the room is dark, the dim moonlight shines through the only portal that connects to the outside world.

“Ok I think I had enough rest, I should get up, go outside and get some fresh air.” I say to myself.

I give myself a few quick slaps on the sides of my face to wake myself up. Since it’s night now changing into my kimono wouldn’t be worth it, I get up and give my legs a bit of a massage to get the blood flowing. I light a few candles so that I can see properly, I then open the door and I step outside. The gentle cool breeze of the night brushes against my face and it wakes me up. I feel like I can breathe again after being in my room all day. Maybe a walk around the village will be nice. I turn to walk to the heart of the village, when something catches my attention in the distance. I stop walking and I turn to see what it is, it is quiet now since everyone has turned in so who could it be? I squint my eyes and try to focus on the moving figure in the distance not too far away, the person seem to be a male and he’s walking towards the exit of the village. I then see the person’s long wavy black hair and a glimpse of his navy blue kimono in the brightest spot under the moon, my eyes widen in realization.

“Naraku!” I call his name with a bit of control as to not wake up everyone.

The person who I assume is Naraku stops walking and turns to look at me, right away I can see a dim glow from their eyes, faint red glowing dots in the dark. It’s Naraku indeed, I feel my legs carry me towards him. In no time I’m right in front of him.

“___________…” He says a bit surprised to see me.

“Hi, I didn’t think I would see you here. Where are you going?” I ask him.

"I was out for the day exploring so I’m heading to the field to have some quietness and rest a bit.” He replies.

“Oh I see, you know I rarely see you around the village lately, you use to come to the hut with Inuyasha and the others but not recently. Is everything alright?” I ask him as I noticed it all of a sudden.

“Everything’s fine, I have just been busy lately.” He answers back with a subtle smile.

I see him smiling, but something about that smile seem to be bothering me greatly.

“Say, how about coming over to my place for a bit? I haven’t been out all day or talked with anyone much either so how about joining me for a short conversation? Besides, I still have your kimono vest, I’ll return it to you.” I suggest.

“It’s pretty late, don’t you need rest?” He asks me.

“Uh no, I’m pretty awake right now, I had enough rest for the day. It’s fine really. My hut is just over there, go ahead and make yourself comfortable, I’ll go get some tea.” I tell him pointing at the hut behind me.

Naraku looks at me and then shows me a subtle nod, I feel happy. I feel like a little girl eager to have a friend over. I then head to the big hut that’s not too far away, I quickly make some tea and carry it back to my hut. The door is slightly open, I push the door with my shoulder while holding the tray of tea. I turn slightly so I can enter into the room, my eyes adjusts to the dim candle light that I lit earlier. I see Naraku sitting down on the edge of the double person futon, I can’t see his face because he’s looking down at the futon, his long black hair fills my vision. And just barely, I can see his right hand gliding along the silk fabric of the futon, on the side that I haven’t slept on. As I see that, somewhere deep inside, a faint aching feeling emerges. He doesn’t seem to notice my presence.

“I’m back with the tea Naraku, sorry for making you wait.” I say with a energetic tone.

Naraku lifts his hand up slowly and he turns to look at me, his red eyes finding mine immediately like how they always do.

“You’re back.” He states quietly.

“Yes, I just got back, carrying tea on a tray isn’t easy.” I say with a laugh. 

I sit down across from him and set the tray down between us, I pour him a cup of tea and myself one as well. I take a sip of the hot tea, the aroma of the leaves fills my senses. I then remembered. I set my cup down and get up to get what I needed to get, I then walk over to Naraku, the meantime he’s quiet. I hold the folded outfit out to him.

“Here, your kimono vest, thanks for letting me borrow it that day.” I tell him.

“No need to thank me, I’m glad that it could be of help.” He replies taking the vest from my hand.

As he hold out his hand to take the kimono vest, I suddenly feel something brush against my fingers underneath. I realize that it’s his hand, it touched mine in the process, somehow, this whole thing feels familiar. Did I dream about this moment before or? Naraku takes the vest and puts it back on, I just sit right beside him, a few inches apart.

“So what have you been busy with lately?” I ask him trying to start a conversation.

“I’ve been busy exploring the world that I’ve missed out, and I realized that I should continue to go out and explore and see everything.” He says looking down at his tea.

Oh that’s great, yes, the world has a lot to offer doesn’t it? I think it will be great, I have no idea how long you have lived as a demon but I think you have lived long enough to have seen many things, but occasionally, the bigger things takes away the beauty of the little things.” I tell him with a smile.

Naraku looks at me, his expression soft and unreadable. He then shows me a smile.

“You’re right indeed, never thought I would have another lesson on life.” Naraku says quietly.

“Sorry?” I ask him confused.

“The world does have a lot to offer, I have something that I would like to tell you.” He says turning to face me, his eyes seems to be flaring all of a sudden.

“Uhm, alright.” I reply.

Something tells me that this is something serious, I sit up straight and I put all my attention into what he is about to tell me.

“I have decided by wanting to see more of the world, I need to leave this village.” He says.

I feel my mind going blank as I hear his words, my heart suddenly feels like it just got tied down by a rock. Does he have to?

“Why do you need to leave? Can’t you stay at the village and explore at the same time? I ask him slightly shocked.

Naraku looks down at the floor and a subtle but unreadable smile shows on his face.

“I would like to, but I realized it wouldn’t be best. By staying here, I’ll have to come back by day’s end which means I can’t go further into the world that lies ahead. I’d like to keep this a secret from the others, but if they eventually find out, please tell them thank you for me.” He explains to me.

I suppose he has a point, he feels that by staying here he feels restricted and unable to move on and do something that he wants. I lower my head and I nod in understanding.

“I see…” I answer back.

“My apologies for bringing this subject up. I wanted to leave quietly but it seems like you caught me at the right time. I felt that I should at least let you know.” He says.

I look back up at him, so he hasn’t told anyone yet, he only told me.

“When are you leaving?” I ask him.

“By morning.” He answers my question.

Morning… so soon. I still wished he didn’t have to leave, perhaps we could all go together as a trip. I keep my mouth shut instead.

“ I see will you ever come back?” I can only manage to say and ask him.

“One day, I will.” He says quietly.

I can only nod, as my mind is blank.

“I should let you rest, thank you for the tea__________. I’ll take my leave, I wish you well in the years to come. Goodbye.” He says.

I can’t reply at this point, Although Naraku and I haven’t know each other long but Naraku has become a very important person to me. To know that he’s leaving when I just got to know him, it’s heartbreaking. I can’t say anything or else I feel like tears are going to come out. I hear Naraku placing the tea cup down and I see him standing up, He gives me a gentle smile and I watch him as he disappear from in front of me and head towards the door. When I hear the door open, I stand up as quick as I can and head towards the door as well. I grab onto Naraku’s hand to stop him from leaving, his hand is cool to the touch. Almost ice cold, I suddenly have the urge to want to hold on to them and warm them up. Naraku stops and turns to face me, he looks slightly surprised.

“Are you willing to leave behind all of the friends that you’ve had made here?” I ask him with a slight desperation.

Naraku’s eyes searches my face for a while and then holds the hand that is holding his with his other.

“Leaving behind something that has come to mean so much to me, it is hard. But sometimes, the only way to move on is to let go. I have thought about this for quite a while now, and I have come to this decision.” Naraku tells me while looking at me.

“I’m going to miss talking to you…” I say quietly.

“You’ll be fine, you have Sesshomaru now remember? I’m sure he’ll be there for you and make you happy for the rest of your life.” He mentions with a smile.

Sesshomaru… right, I almost forgot about Sesshomaru and I until he mentioned him. I suddenly remember about everyone mentioning about Naraku and I as well, this truth or lie that has never been solved. Naraku never told me, and I feel that he won’t be telling me for a long long time.

“I hope you will find someone that you will love with all your heart on this travel.” I say to him.

Naraku looks at me with slightly widen eyes, but then return to his calm expression. The hand that is on top of mine slowly lets go of my hand and comes up to my face, I look at his hand slightly confused as to what he is doing. His hand then touches my face, the coldness of his hands sending slight shivers through my body. Although cold, but somehow it feels soothing, unspoken words seems to be held within that touch. He then lean in towards my face, his red eyes slowly filling my whole vision has his flawless face draws near. I can’t seem to move, like I’m chained in place. Then I feel a light touch right next to my mouth, everything seem to stop for a second, I can't hear anything as I try to grasp what has happened. I eventually find my composure again. I come to my senses and realize that Naraku has kissed me lightly next to my mouth. Soft and gentle contact of lips to skin, this time, I didn’t push him away. I let him kiss me, he then pulls away. I feel slightly empty as the touch disappears, he then looks at me.

“Only you.” He says quietly with a smile.

So quietly that I almost couldn’t even hear him, he then lets go of my face and turns to leave. I stand there and watch him as he disappears into the dark night. The whole room is quiet once again except for the faint flickers of the candles, he’s gone, and he’ll be leaving by morning. I let everything sink in for a minute I then exhale deeply, I close the door and return to clean up the cups. As I go to pick up his cup, I realized that it’s cold, slightly colder than mine and untouched. The amount of tea hasn’t diminished, he didn’t drink the tea yet his body absorbed all the heat. Just like his cold hands, I hold the cup in between my palms and I unconsciously try to warm it up with my own. I spent the rest of the night sitting down and looking out the window and think about Naraku, why am I like this? Why am I so distraught over him doing something that he wants? I watch as the outside world slowly transition from black to pale orange as the sun rises, I feel numb, probably from sitting down too long and not moving. Eventually the sky turns blue and morning has arrived, I change into my kimono and clean up. I take the tea tray back to the big hut and get an early head start on making breakfast, It’s pretty early still so there’s not a lot of people outside. As I walked, the morning air feels slightly cool. As my feet carries me to the designated area, my eyes wonder all around me. I look around, seeing the people slowly increase bit by bit with each passing minute. It seems like everyone’s here, everyone but Naraku. I take a deep inhale and sigh, I finally arrive and I enter. As I set the tray down, I noticed some plates set in a corner covered. It must be the food that Kagome and the others left for me last night, I didn’t notice it probably due to my mind being filled of the thoughts of returning to Naraku with the tea. The plates are placed furthest from the stove so that the food won’t go bad from the heat, I eat the food and then I start preparing breakfast for the others. My mind seem to focus again as I’m working, I have cut bread and meat.

“______________? You’re up early.” A voice says not far away.

I snap out of my concentration and I turn towards the entrance, it’s Sango.

“Morning Sango, yea, I got enough rest last night so I woke up early. Thanks for taking care of me last night.” I say giving her a bow.

“Oh no need, I’m just glad that you’re feeling better. Here, let me help you.” She says.

“Thanks.” I answer her.

Sango helps me set up the table, and a few minutes later, Lady Kaede enters with Kagome, then Shippo and Rin, Miroku and the kids and then Inuyasha. They’re all here, everyone except Naraku. I feel my heart drop as the fact hits me again. I greet them all as we sit down for breakfast.

“Have any of you guys seen Naraku?” Kagome asks.

“He probably went out to look around again.” Inuyasha says.

I want to tell them where he went but I remember Naraku saying that he wanted to leave quietly. I look down at my bowl, I decide to keep my mouth closed for Naraku. After breakfast, I help Kagome and Sango with chores and play with the kids with Shippo and Rin. I suppose it’s a way to keep my mind occupied, but occasionally I would blank out. The morning soon turns to afternoon, and then evening. Inuyasha and Miroku has came back from their day and we’re all sitting down eating dinner.

“I suppose Naraku should be back soon.” Sango says looking out the window.

Everytime that I hear his name, I get the urge to want to tell them. Not to mention a slight ache in my heart.

“Naraku should really tell us where he’s going next time so that we at least know.” Inuyasha grumbles, his dog ears twitching slightly.

I want to open my mouth right there and then, I want to tell Inuyasha everything so that he wouldn’t get mad at Naraku.

“Think about what Naraku has been going through lately Inuyasha, having some time alone isn’t a bad thing. It helps clear the mind, besides I’m sure he doesn’t want us to worry.” Kagome suddenly says.

I turn to look at her, I see a gentle smile on her face as she returns to eating. After cleaning up everything, we all turn in so that we can rest and spend time with our loved ones, everyone except for me. I haven’t seen Sesshomaru lately and I don’t know where he is or where to find him, I let out a sigh. Seeing the full moon above me, I decide to head to the flower field. I suppose it became a habit, since at this time, Naraku and I would be talking. I walk to the field in the night, the bright moon illuminates the earth. I walk through the empty field and sit down within the long grass, can’t believe I have to leave this place soon. I look around the field, all around the field. My eyes scans the field hoping to see Naraku, but I know he’s gone, and I don’t even know where he is at the moment. I hear rustling of the grass behind me and I turn my head to see who or what it is, the moon is bright but it’s not to the point where I can see someone’s face clearly from a distance. It looks like a woman with long black hair.

“Had a feeling you would be here.” The person says.

Right away I recognize who the voice belongs to.

“Kagome?” I ask the person.

“Yep it’s me.” She answers back.

Kagome comes closer and sits down beside me, her long black hair swaying as she moves.

“What are you doing out here? I thought you went to bed with Inuyasha.” I ask her slightly surprised to see her.

“Well I noticed that your face didn’t look so cheerful earlier so I assumed you have something on your mind, and well, looks like I guessed right.” She says softly.

“Never realized how bad I am at controlling my facial expressions.” I say with a depleted sigh.

“It’s alright, facial expressions are needed when your mouth can’t form words that are contained in your heart, now tell me what’s wrong?” Kagome says and ruffles my hair gently.

I look at the grass, perhaps I should tell Kagome, she has always been there for me, and I feel like I should tell her about Naraku.

“It’s about Naraku, he left this morning for good, he said that he wants to go and explore the world, but in order to do that, he has to leave here and leave all of us behind. I managed to catch him last night and talked with him, he told me that he wants to leave quietly and to tell you guys his gratitude if you guys ever find out what happened to him. I finally say.

“I see, so Naraku left us… I think by doing this, he can perhaps find what is important to him and in his life. Sometimes, if you love and care about someone, you have to let them go.” Kagome tells me.

“Perhaps, but I feel so sad when I realize that he’s not here anymore.” I tell her.

“Weird, you used to avoid him and now you’re sad the he’s gone?” Kagome asks me with a laugh.

“Yes…I did avoid him, but we got past the awkwardness between us and we became really good friends, he is someone dear to me now. Not to mention I was just starting to get to know him too.” I trail off.

There’s a moment of silence in the field, faint sounds of crickets chirps around us.

“Tell me_____________, how do you feel about Naraku?” Kagome suddenly asks me.

The question surprises me, I turn to look at her. Kagome is looking at me with a straight face, but she looks pretty serious. The question circles around in my head, before I only saw him as a friend, but now, I don’t know anymore.

“What do you mean?” I ask her wanting her to elaborate a little bit more.

“Such as, when you see Naraku, or when you talk to Naraku. When he’s not here, and when you realize that he’s not here anymore. What do you feel?” She explains her question.

“When I see Naraku…. Before there was nothing really, just like how friends would react when they see each other.” I say.

“But now?” She asks.

“Now…” I trail off.

I realized that lately, every time that I see Naraku something has changed inside of me. I become more happy, a part of me wants to know him better.

“I become…happy. I want to know how he feels and thinks in times of loneliness, because his smile seem to hold so much unspoken feelings, and I want to help him resolve them. I feel the need to want to be there for him. And knowing that he’s gone now, my heart aches.” I tell her truthfully.

Kagome’s eyes seem to smile as she hears me say that.

“I understand.” She says gentle with a smile.

Something pops back into my mind, now I really want to know the relationship between Naraku and I in the past. I turn my body to face Kagome.

“Kagome, can you tell me about my past with Naraku? You said that we were in a relationship, I have asked Naraku about it but he told me that he will tell me in time, but now that he’s gone he won’t be able to tell me anymore. So can you tell me instead?” I ask her.

Kagome looks at me but then shakes her head, I look at her slightly dumbfounded.

“I cannot tell you about your past with Naraku.” She clarifies.

“Why not?” I say slightly disappointed.

“Because one’s memories are precious and a treasure to whom solely possesses them. By telling someone else the knowledge of their past to them when they don’t remember themselves, is basically draping a white cloth over their eyes, thus blinding them from the truth and perhaps hiding the real past from them. I have come to realize that myself, so that’s why I cannot tell you about yours and Naraku’s past together. And even if one will never regain one’s memories again, it is still up to them to finish writing their future chapters.” Kagome explains her reason to me.

As I hear that, I have come to understand what she is trying to tell me. Don’t let someone else write your story for you, it’s only up to you to write your future and engrave the past into your mind. Kagome shows me a smile and then stands up, she stretches her arms and then looks up at the sky.

“I think I’ve come to accept the fact that something did happen to me that made me forget some people, are there any ways for me to regain those lost memories back?” I ask her.

“I’m not sure myself, but they say that true love conquers all.” She tells me with a smile.

“True love? What do you mean?” I ask her confused.

“I believe the love within your heart right now may just be a false emotion, something to prevent you from seeing the truth. Perhaps when you realize what true love is, your memories may return. When you have the time, ask yourself some unexplained questions that you have been having, maybe it can help you clear up some confusions. Now, shall we go? It’s getting late.” Kagome tells me holding out her hand to me.

I think on her words, am I preventing myself from seeing the truth of something? What is it exactly? But, regardless of what it is, I hope that I’ll be able to figure it out soon. I take her hand and she pulls me up, the two of us then head back to our respectful huts. I sit in my room in my nightwear, the room is dark with only the dim moonlight shining through the window. The love that I’m feeling right now may be false, what does she mean. The love that I feel, does she mean the love that I feel for someone? Is it Sesshomaru perhaps? Does she want me to question the love that I have towards Sesshomaru? I fall back onto my futon in frustration and confusion, Kagome is right, I do have a lot of unanswered questions. I close my eyes, and right away, my thoughts turns to Naraku. My heart starts beating faster as my mind is filled with him, I turn onto my side and force myself to go to sleep. I open my eyes to the dimly lit room, I think it’s dawn or something. I rub my eyes as I sit up, my head is in a daze. At least I got some rest, but, the moment I wake up Naraku fills my mind again. Why am I thinking about him so much? Well I suppose this is the first question that I need to answer, I change into my red kimono and I head out. The sky is still slightly dark but the sun is slowly starting to rise, it’s going to be beautiful. I wash up and I head to the flower field, I hope the openness of the field can help me clear my mind a bit. The morning is cool, the gentle breeze caresses my face. In a few minutes I finally arrive, I walk into the field and I stand in the centre of the beautiful place and look out into the distance. I can’t help but remember when Naraku would use to stand here and look out into the distance by himself, and I realized now that every time when I hear that he’s alone I want to talk to him, to accompany him. And, lately when I think about him and talk to him my heart beats faster, and I feel happy. Then when the second time that he placed a kiss on my face next to my mouth, why didn’t I pull away or push him away like the first time? When he held my hand, why did it feel so comforting? Although it was fleeting but it felt, right. I didn’t care much about it before, but after he told me about that special person that taught him the beauty of love, I couldn’t help but wonder who that person was. All of this feeling, am I feeling this because of what the other’s said to me about Naraku and I in the past? Are these feelings influenced by their words? No, it couldn’t be. Remembering what Kagome has told me, others can’t and shouldn’t write your stories for you. It is up to ourselves to finish writing the chapters of our lives and engrave our past memories into our hearts and minds. Memories that I wish that I can regain somehow, so that I can remember meeting Naraku and know the past between us. Kagome and the others didn't tell me anything else besides that. Unknowingly, I start to compare my feelings for Naraku and Sesshomaru, the latter whom I love. As I think about it, things slowly start to piece together. I convinced myself that I loved Sesshomaru, because he loved me. I had to constantly ponder about my feelings for him. His eyes were beautiful to look at, but they didn’t captivate me like how Naraku’s did upon meeting him. I thought a kiss would help me figure out my feelings for Sesshomaru, but I realized that I felt no strong emotions in that kiss. Yet I still told myself that I love him, that I want to make this work between him and I. In Naraku’s case, all these feelings emerged without me knowing, my heart pounds faster by itself just upon thinking of him. He has been more on my mind than Sesshomaru has, his smile seem to hold so much unspoken feelings that I want to decipher one by one. Everything that was his seems to comfort me in the most subtle ways. Then there are his eyes, they are beautiful like Sesshomaru’s, but most importantly, they are unique, they captured me slowly. They’re like crimson fire burning around a small circle of snow which are his pupils, trying to warm up the coldness that has followed him for years. They somehow speak to me without him talking, how I wish I can see them again…see him again. When he left, I never felt so much heartache before. I didn’t want to let him go, but in the end I couldn’t do anything or say anything that could make him stay, and I felt regret over that. I look out into the distance, the navy blue sky has started to have an orange glow to them, behind the mountains in the distance, the sun is starting to rise. As I see the white ring of the sun, it reminds me of Naraku’s eyes once again. My eyes widen in realization, all of my unanswered questions seem to all have been answered in just this short time, I feel my heart drop and start to increase in speed. All of my unorganized thoughts seem to all disperse all of a sudden as well, the world around me seem to be lighter. Perhaps, this was the truth that I couldn’t see?

“I’m in love with…” I quietly say to myself.

“______________.” A low voice says my name from behind.

The voice is familiar and calm, I turn around to see who it is. My own eyes widen as I see his eyes, they are golden like the sunlight.