I finally find some movements in my limbs after what seemed like forever, I open my eyes slowly to the sun shining in through the window. I slowly sit up, I sit there for a while, my eyes swollen and heavy. Yesterday comes rushing back to me like a flood, and I feel my heart sinking again. Was it all a dream? I look around the room, it’s unfamiliar. It’s smaller, more old looking. 

“Where am I?” I ask myself.

I begin to panic, I remembered Naraku saying that he’s going to drop me off somewhere, but where. I look down, I’m still wearing my red kimono. I’m sitting in a futon and covered by silk cover, and over the cover are my two big towels. My two towels, I remember that Naraku used it to add pressure on my wound that night. I hold the fabric, it’s clean again and looks brand new. I look around, it wasn’t a dream, it happened. I flip my cover off of me and try to push myself off of the ground, I look down beside me. My eyes widen, and my heart drops once more. My mind is telling me to leave it there so that it seems like an illusion, but my fingers are reaching for it to make sure it’s real. I pick it up and the smooth skin of the bamboo glides along my fingers, I bring it closer to look at it. The red string of the silk floats in mid air as I hold the bracelet, Naraku took it off and returned it back to me. I feel my heart aching as I look at this precious item, it was a symbolism of our love that I so believed in. Of all the ways that Naraku could hurt me, he did. But, I can’t hate him, never. I get up to prevent myself from crying at any moment, I open the door of the room that I’m in. The bright morning sunlight shines into my eyes and it gives me a headache, guess last night’s crying is to blame. I look around the place that I’m in, it looks like a small village or some sort, huts line the edges, people are out and about. I feel lost, the unfamiliar atmosphere fills me with anxiety. Naraku wasn’t lying, he said that he would abandon me somewhere when morning arrives. Not knowing what else to do, I clutch onto the bracelet and begin to wonder through the village lost. The bright sun shines down at me but I feel lonely, I want to hide somewhere. 

“___________!” A voice calls my name from the side.

That voice... it sounds familiar. I turn to see who it is. I see Kagome running towards me, her white and red priestess attire flowing as she moves. Seeing her face soothes my heart, Kagome comes up to me and holds my arms, I feel like I’m about to collapse. She looks at me with worried eyes.

“__________, you’re finally up, are you alright?” She asks me looking over my face.

“What happened?” I ask her.

“Inuyasha sensed your scent in the middle of the night last night, he and Miroku found you in the ourskirt of town near a field. You were covered with the towels and a bracelet in your hands, Inuyasha said that he tried to wake you but you wouldn’t wake up or respond, like you were paralyzed. We searched for you for days, but we had no idea where you could’ve gone to. We brought you back here and placed you in the hut, thank goodness you’re awake now.” Kagome explains everything to me.

So I was paralyzed... was last night a dream or was it reality when Naraku came into my room? Why... why would he do that after hurting me. He didn’t just abandon me anywhere, he abandoned me outside of Kagome and Inuyasha’s village. He says that he hates me, but he dropped me off somewhere safe. I don’t understand... 

“Thank you for finding me...” I say bowing to her.

“No thanks are necessary, we’re just glad that you’re safe. Let’s get you something to eat, and then let’s talk. Your eyes are swollen, you must be in a lot of pain...” Kagome says gently touching my puffy eyelids with her thumb.

“That will be refreshing, thanks Kagome.” I reply back to her with no energy in my voice.

Kagome wraps her arm around my arm and she guides me through the beautiful village. Soon, Kagome take me to a big hut, smoke is coming out from an opening of the roof. Kagome lifts the curtain to the hut and gestures me in. When my eyes adjusts to the dimmer light inside the hut I see that it’s like a gathering hut, I look around and I see Miroku, and Inuyasha, helping out by the fire cooking is I believe Sango, and an elder priestess with an eyepatch over her one of her eye. Miroku and Inuyasha both stand up from the table that they were sitting around, they have a look of relief on their face. I feel grateful that I was reunited with them, my closest friends. 

“Thank goodness you’re awake__________. How are you feeling?” Miroku asks me.

“I’m alright, just feel a little heavy inside. Thank you for taking me back here.” I reply back with a weak smile.

“Well what else did you think we were going to do? Leave you there?” Inuyasha jokes.

“Inuyasha!” Both Kagome and Sango shouts.

Inuyasha’s ears twitches, and he suddenly shrinks a bit.

“Alright, I’m sorry, I was just joking, sorry_______.” He replies.

“Sometimes jokes are used for times of relax and fun, not like now. Sit dear, let’s have breakfast.” The elder priestess says with a kind smile.

“Thank you Lady... uhm...” I say but remembered that I don’t know her name.

“This is Lady Kaede, she’s the head of the village.” Sango steps in and helps me out with a gentle smile.

I nod in appreciation, Kagome and I sit down side by side. Suddenly the curtain opens again, I turn to see Shippo piggy backing a young boy, a young woman who looks like she’s about 2-3 years younger than I, and two girls who looks like twins enter into the room. Shippo’s eyes goes wide and a smile forms on his face when he sees me.

“_________! You’re alright!” Shippo shouts.

“Hi Shippo.” I say waving at the cute fox demon.

He lets down the baby boy, and runs to me, I hug him, his tail fluffy and soft. It comforts me some. Sango and Miroku calls to the children, I turn to look at them. They must be their son and twin girls.

“Your children are beautiful.” I say to them.

“Thanks_________, cute but can be a handful. Please, go ahead before the food goes cold.” Sango says with a smile.

“And this is?” I ask the young girl who’s just reaching her adulthood with a smile.

“Nice to meet you big sister_________, I’m Rin.” She says with a cheerful smile.

Oh, wasn’t expecting her to call me big sister, but I feel happy by such address. I nod, Shippo sits down beside Inuyasha and right away he starts pinching the little fox’s pointy ears. Rin sits down beside Lady Kaede. I smile at the interaction, I look down at my hands, I’m still holding the bracelet. Naraku fills my mind once again, how can I be so obsessed with one person so much. Kagome puts one of her hand over mine, I’m pulled out of my thoughts from her warm hand. I look back at her, she’s showing me a gentle smile.

“Come on__________, it’s been a whole night, you need to replenish your energy, we can sit down and talk things out later.” She says.

“Yea, thanks Kagome.” I reply.

I pick up the chopsticks in front of me and I eat a bit of the food, I can feel my mind slowly trailing away. Although I’m not hungry, I manage to eat a little bit. After a while, we all finish eating, I help Lady Kaede, Kagome, and Sango clean up. Inuyasha, Miroku, Shippo, and Rin are babysitting the kids, well, Inuyasha is just sitting there and tolerating the little ones tugging at his ears. Helping Kagome and the others clean up distracts my train of thoughts a little bit. Afterwards, Lady Kaede calls the kids.

“Come on kids, let’s go out for a stroll, you guys have your talk.” She says with a smile.

“Thanks Lady Kaede.” Sango replies.

Rin, Shippo, and Lady Kaede takes Miroku and Sango’s kids out of the hut. The four of them then sit on one side of the table, and I sit down across from them. 

“You can let out everything that you have been holding in these few days___________, you can tell us.” Sango says softly.

Before everything, I have something that I need to do first. I place my hands in front of me and I bow to them as an apology.

“_________ what are you doing?” Miroku asks surprised. 

“I’m sorry for worrying everyone, for throwing myself into danger that night. For not telling you the truth.” I explain to them.

“We can understand why, there was clearly love in your vision and mind when you did that. But...” Kagome says.

“It was foolish of you, Naraku is evil, we killed him 12 years ago. How did you fall in love with a demon and monster like him?! Are you out of your mind? We actually told you about him 12 years ago before we left, he could’ve killed you himself.” Inuyasha says furrowing his brows in annoyance.

“Inuyasha! Don’t be so harsh on her, she acted out of love for Naraku. Inuyasha is just worried about your wellbeing____________, he’s just rash and impulsive with his feelings. I suppose the only concern that we have is how did you fall in love with Naraku? He’s was a demon that terrorized everyone, he killed, lied, betrayed, and almost destroyed the world.” Sango says looking at me.

“Yes... but I thought that he was a different Naraku, he seemed so different than how you all described him. I actually met him 12 years prior, before I met you all. He was kind to me, he actually saved me when I was a child. He blocked out my memories so that I won’t be able to remember him that night, he told me that he didn’t want me to remember someone like him, a monster. If he really was evil, I wouldn’t think he would’ve done that, he would’ve killed me by the way you all described him.” I tell them thinking of all the past memories of Naraku.

I look at their faces and I can see a slight expression of disbelief and shock. I suppose they never expected that side of Naraku. 

“Somehow Naraku resurrected, in the process he lost his memories. I suppose________ found him again.” Miroku says.

“Yes, I found him again at the same place, under the same circumstances. I couldn’t remember him due to the block in mind, we befriended each other, and eventually... it... it... turned into love.” I say feeling melancholic.

“Naraku is capable of love? It sounds impossible.” Inuyasha says crossing his arm.

“It seems like fate that you two met again.” Sango says quietly.

“Yes, it’s what we believed, what I believed. Naraku was like a young child the second time that I met him. He didn’t know who he was, how he came to be, where he is, his purpose. He didn’t know emotions and feelings. I taught him love, I taught him how to love. I fell in love with him, I believed that it was fate for us to be together.” I say looking down at the bracelet that I never put down, I smile as I look at the red bracelet that held so much of our memories.

“I see... he got a new start in life, I suppose the heavens pitied him and gave him a new start, a chance to right his wrongs perhaps. Before we killed him it was discovered that he was a puppet to a greatee demon. He found someone who loved him...” Kagome says.

“I suppose the question now is, why are you here and not with him?” Inuyasha asks straight out. 

I feel my heart drop, and my mind going blank. I froze.

“I... I don’t know what happened.” I reply.

“Looks like Naraku didn’t change after all, he used you to protect himself from Sesshomaru that night. In the end he abandoned you, you’re lucky that he didn’t kill you_________.” Inuyasha says with a huff.

“It’s not like that... he healed my wound afterwards, he said that he remembered everything after seeing me get hurt. The block on his memories dissolved after he saw me injured and in pain, he said it was because of his love for me...” I assure him remembering what Naraku told me.

Honestly, after yesterday night, I don’t even know what to believe anymore...

“If he loved you, then why are you here? Why didn’t he keep you with him?” Inuyasha asked me again.

I feel that I’m being pushed into a corner, unable to fight back. I can’t blame him for asking me that, I’m wondering the same thing myself. I close my eyes and bury my face in my palms. Kagome comes over and puts her arm around me.

“Stop it Inuyasha, she’s in a vulnerable state right now. Anyone can tell that something happened between them, it seems as if she doesn’t know the reason either. Let’s let it be for now.” Kagome says.

“Indeed, emotions and feelings are complicated. When it comes to love between two people, it’s best if we don’t get too involved since it’s personal. Since you’re here now, we’ll try our best to make you feel comfortable, it was our original plan before... everything.” Miroku says.

“Indeed, you won’t be lonely here.” Sango tells me with a smile.

“I’m sure I won’t be.” I smile at Sango.

“Since it seems like something happened between you and Naraku, it just shows that all of his words of love are in the end lies. Fights and arguments exists between two people, but in the end when two people truly love one another, they will figure everything out. They don’t abandon each other. He still can’t be trusted after everything that you’ve told us about him. He said he regained his memories again, so it’s likely he still possesses the evil that we once destroyed.” Miroku says.

“Ya, like Sesshomaru said, if it comes to it, we’ll just have to kill him again. Sesshomaru is still out looking for Naraku.” Inuyasha says. 

After hearing Inuyasha say that, I feel my heart becoming heavy. Naraku might die if he comes across Inuyasha or that Sesshomaru demon, I worry for him. Even after all the ways he has hurt me, made me feel unwanted, I still worry about him. I still love him, he asked me if I must be hating him that night, but I realize that I couldn’t. I may forget him, but it will take years and years to forget someone you love so much. I gave myself to Naraku, so how can I forget everything between us so easily? 

“Please.... don’t kill him. I believe he’s different now. So please, don’t, give me a chance to figure out everything about him, the real him. To understand him.” I beg them.

“But what if you can’t?” Miroku asks.

I look at the bracelet, and then my own. I smile as I look at it.

“I like to hold on to the little bit of hope and faith. I was taught at an early age that I should believe in the good in people. A bad person wasn’t born bad, it’s events in their lives that turned them into one, I believe with proper guidance and will, things can change. Everyone deserves a second chance in life, even demons. Also, a long time ago, someone with eyes like rubies told me to hold on to that hope, because it can lead me to places.” I say looking out and thinking of that night 12 years ago, a subtle smile forming on my face as I think of the beautiful memory. 

They all stay quiet after hearing me say that, I’m sure they know who I’m talking about. Not wanting to say anymore, I bow to them. I feel a bit suffocated. 

“I appreciate the talk, even though it wasn’t necessarily a pleasant one. Thank you for trying to understand from my point. Is there a place that I can go to take some fresh air?” I ask them.

“Yes, on the outskirt of town, there’s a flower field. Not a lot of people go there, so if you need some alone time, it’s the perfect place to find some peace and quiet.” Sango says.

“Thank you, if you can excuse me.” I say.

“Not at all, you probably need a few days to adjust and figure things out.” Miroku says.

I nod in appreciation. I then get up and walk out of the hut. The now afternoon sun hits me and I squint. Such a beautiful day in spring, but my heart feels like winter. I sigh. I then begin to head out of town and towards the flower field. The wind gently caresses me as I walked, my long hair flows behind me. I can feel my mind slowly trailing off again, off to Naraku, to what happened yesterday. I follow a dirt path until I come upon a large flower field, tall trees surrounds the area. It’s beautiful and just like what Sango said, it’s peaceful. The field is covered with flowers of white and yellow. I walk into the field, the leaves of the flowers tickles my ankle and the petals glides pass the tips of my fingers. As I walk through the large area, I remember the flower field that Naraku brought me to that day. Unlike that one though, the scent of these flowers are nothing compared to those enchanted flowers. I look up and see the blue sky hanging high above me, the clouds drifts slowly as the world turns with each passing second. I go to touch my aching chest when I feel something just under my kimono, I take the thing out of my chest and look at it. It’s the cherry blossom flower that still hasn’t wilted in a month, I hold it between my palm. I still have it, did Naraku put it inside my kimono? I then slowly sit down in the middle of the field, between the swaying flowers.

“You told me to smile no matter what, but how can I smile when the reason that I smile tells me that he hates me? You told me to cherish our memories but it’s only melancholic when we’re not together to share them. How can your feelings shift so fast without blinking... I thought you became more human...” I whisper quietly. 

I look back up at the sky, and I close my eyes. I can imagine Naraku’s eyes, bright and unique. They are beautiful as always, never once were they not. I then look at the bracelet that I’m still holding. The heat of my hand has warmed the bamboo material, I touch the silk string and let it slip through my fingers. I then put it onto my left wrist next to mine. If he doesn’t believe in fate, then I’ll believe it for him. When we meet again, I’ll give this back to him. I then rest my head on my knees. Without knowing, I fall asleep. The gentle flowers tickles my skin as the wind moves them from side to side.