JaeJoong stared at the closed hotel room door with blurry eyes. He wasn’t going to cry. He was too damn angry to be sad right now. Yunho’s voice repeating the words ‘I’m engaged’ and ‘I’m still in love with you’ replayed on loop in his head like a broken record. To crush on and fantasize about someone who wasn’t your significant other was one thing. But to act on it was a completely different one. Until this moment, as far as he knew, JaeJoong had never helped another man cheat. Beyond the anger and disgust, he was so disappointed. Yunho didn’t seem like the type of man to do something so distrustful. But then again, JaeJoong didn’t truly know the man. The part of him that did know Yunho was lost, possibly forever, and he couldn’t use that help make sense out of what had just happened.

JaeJoong stepped back away from the door and sat on the edge of the large bed. His head was still spinning. The twisted knot in the pit of his stomach made him feel sick enough to make him regret eating that cake earlier. The cake he shared with Yunho while they talked for almost 3 hours about everything. 3 hours where he could have told JaeJoong he was engaged. JaeJoong shook his head in frustration as he silently cursed himself. He should have stuck with his gut when he met Yunho 4 months ago. Instead of developing feelings for him, he should have used the opportunity that they didn’t work in the same department to keep their relationship professional. But this wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t have known about Yunho being engaged unless the man had told him with his own mouth. He refused to take responsibility for something that he had no knowledge of.

The resounding ache in his chest thought differently though. He pressed the palm of his hand over his heart and inhaled. He should be flipping tables and cursing and going next door to drive his fist through Yunho’s face. But instead he was just sitting there, numb and confused. The ache in his chest began to dissolve after a few moments, but the relief was short. The scar on his forehead began to pulse hard enough to make him wince. He rubbed his fingers over the raised skin with hopes of soothing it, but it didn’t help. The pulsing was increasing, and he soon found it almost impossible to sit up. He crawled into the center of the bed and grabbed a pillow to put over his head. Squeezing his eyes closed, he started to count backwards from one hundred to help him focus on something other than pain.

When he got to 60, Yunho’s face flashed behind his closed eyes. But instead of it being the face of the man he knew today, it was younger. Bright brown eyes and a boyish grin to match lit up Yunho’s young face. And then his grin turned into a full-on smile when he called JaeJoong’s name.

JaeJoong’s eyes flew open and the image disappeared. The ache in his head had subsided, but now the one in his chest had returned. Yunho’s young face was a memory and it was the first memory that made sense to him in years. He closed his eyes again, wanting to remember more. But after 10 minutes of blankness, no more memories came. Exhausted, he turned over on his back and reached for the lamp next to the bed. He turned it off and pressed the pillow down harder over his head.

….

JaeJoong stared down into the steaming cup of coffee, willing it to make him feel less like . The crowded auditorium was loud and buzzing with doctors and professors from hospitals and University’s all over South Korea, but the majority of the crowd was from Seoul. He adjusted himself in his seat and let out a gentle grunt. Sleeping last night had been difficult. He would fall asleep for a couple of hours before waking up again and not being able to fall asleep again for another 40 minutes. That went on until his alarm went off at 8. The shower he took only helped enough to get him up and ready to start the day. By the second cup of coffee, he knew it was going to be a rough day.

“Anyone sitting here?” A deep voice asked JaeJoong and JaeJoong shook his head no absently and shifted over in his seat. The owner of the voice chuckled and JaeJoong instantly became more alert. Looking to his left, he found a familiar smiling face.

“Yoochun!” JaeJoong all but shouted making the other man laugh.

“Looks like you’re awake now. How are you, JJ?” JaeJoong shook his head, still shocked. He hadn’t seen his friend in nearly 10 months. When he left the family medicine doctor after helping to get his clinic started in Busan, they both became too busy to stay in touch regularly.

“I’m doing great, Chunnie. I’ve missed you. I didn’t expect to see you here.” JaeJoong replied and Yoochun shrugged.

“I wouldn’t expect to see me here either, but the clinic is doing well, and I was approached about possibly getting more funding for it if I were to offer counseling to the Seoul family medicine board about getting a similar clinic and initiative started with one of the bigger hospitals. So, I’m showing my face to let them know I’m interested.” He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “I got here this morning and I’m already annoyed with all the stuck-up jerks.” Yoochun grumbled making JaeJoong laugh. The other man was by no means your typical doctor. From his long hair to the laidback wardrobe he sported 24/7, Yoochun didn’t fit in among the stuffy doctors and surgeons that were at these types of events. But that’s what made him fun.

“Well I promise you won’t turn into a pile of goo before Sunday. It’ll be over and you’ll be back in Busan in a flash.” JaeJoong reassured as he patted Yoochun on the knee. Yoochun smirked and leaned in closer to JaeJoong.

“I’ll feel better if you hold my hand until then just to make sure.” Yoochun’s teasing voice was low and y. JaeJoong snorted and playfully shoved him away.

“Something tells me that your wife would take issue with that.” The other doctor sighed and leaned back in his seat and shoved his hands in the pocket of his pullover sweatshirt.

“What does she know? I had to explain to her at least once a day that you were gay when you were helping with the clinic. The woman was worrying my last nerve.” Yoochun’s disgruntled tone made JaeJoong laugh. After the ty night he had, it was nice to be able to relax next to an old friend.

“Well if she’s really interested, tell her that you’ll both have to pursue me so that I don’t feel bad.” JaeJoong teased making Yoochun laugh.

“Deal.” Yoochun held out his hand for JaeJoong shake. JaeJoong laughed and returned the handshake.

—

Yunho picked at the food on his plate, barely paying attention to the woman talking to him. The whole day had been a waste as far as he was concerned. There had been presentations the entire morning and straight through to lunch. When he wasn’t silently replaying last night in his head, he was searching for JaeJoong in the crowd of faces. The few times he managed to find JaeJoong, the doctor was with another man with long black hair. The other man was incredibly touchy and seemed to be hanging onto every word JaeJoong spoke.

Yunho was surprised by how well he was able to keep his jealousy at bay. He didn’t have the right to be jealous before, but he certainly didn’t now.

“Dr. Jung? What do you think?” The voice calling his name snapped Yunho out of his thoughts. He blinked at the woman sitting across from him. Her lipstick red lips were pursed, and her brows were furrowed as she waited for his response. Yunho cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry. My mind was somewhere else. I think electric cardioversion should be researched for a mu