DARA's POV

 

 

"Dara"

 

Eh? A girl's voice? I opened my eyes and was surprised to see my 3 friends. I sighed in relief. ε=（￣。￣ ）I thought...it's him. I quickly glance at my right side and found out that he's just 4 seats away from me. So he really was walking towards me. He probably stopped when he saw the girls.

 

"Eonnie? Are you okay? You look pale." Minzy asked.

 

"Huh? Don't worry, I'm fine just a bit nervous. Are you guys done with the audition?"

 

They all nodded. "Good thing you found me earlier. If not, I will not be able to reach here on time." CL stated.

 

I sighed in relief. "It's a good thing you made it on time."

 

"But you weren't able to watch our audition." Minzy pouted. (　・３・)

 

"Mian..Minzy-ah. I... I rest a bit on the rooftop." sorry for lying to all of you.

 

"Geo..jimal" I heard Kwon Jiyong's side comment. I know the three heard him because they all look at him while me, (￢_￢) I glared at him. But the guy's a really good actor, his eyes are close and wearing an earphone. Pretending what he uttered is not for me. Tch...

 

I really don't know why I don't like to tell people about my phobia. There are only two people who knew about it, my mom and someone I met before. Now it's three, Kwon Jiyong. Even Jae doesn't know about it. Maybe because I don't want to be a burden to anyone.

 

You might question how l manage to fly in an airplane? Simple, I never opened the window. And I slept the whole flight. I might have look at the window when we're over Seoul but I was distracted by the beautiful scenery. In my lifetime, I experienced just three panic attacks. First when I was just kid, that's the time my mom and I discovered about it. Second, that was three years ago at the hospital. And third, today. I always made sure, I won't go on high places. Well, today's an exception. Haiisst...

 

"Number 017, please get ready."

 

I was startled. That's my number. It's my turn. I abruptly stood up but my surroundings are spinning so I sat again. @_@

 

"Dara!! Are you okay?" Bom asked worriedly.

 

"Ne.. I was just startled. hehehehe.." I chuckled akwardly. But I know I am not okay. Not now please. There's another thing that I am hiding. Every after panic attacks are after effects. Dizziness, vomiting and worst that I experienced was I collapsed. It usually happens after my panic attacks subsided. I was surprised myself that it didn't happen right after my panic attack subsided so I thought I was okay. But the signs are showing. Please...not now. Let me finish my audition first.

 

I tried standing up again. This time carefully. I walked towards the stage slowly. I saw the coordinator and told him that I am number 017. I was told to stay here until the judges call me. While waiting, I saw Jinwoo and he mouthed 'noona hwaiting!!'. His bandmates wished me luck as well. I smiled at them. (^-^)

 

"Gomawo" I mouthed at them.

 

The judges called me already and I went in the middle of the stage. I looked at my friends and they are all wishing me luck. My eyes gazed at Kwon Jiyong and he was staring at me. His brows are knitted together. Uhmmp...now what..

 

"Number 017!!"

 

"Eh? Sorry..uhmm..Hi, my name's Sandara Park. You can call me Dara. I'm from College of Communication"

 

"Hmm..College of Communication...Very well..Ms. Park. You know the drill. You will need to perform 3 times. Dance, Korean song and English song. However, there's a twist. Since we will be doing a musical play which will require you to sing and dance at the same time, we need to check your endurance. So the sequence of your performance will depend on that bowl at the side." the judge explained.

 

I walked towards the bowl and pick one paper from it. I gave it to the coordinator. 

 

"Alright. Dance, English song and last, Korean song."

 

Waahh...this is not good. My body still feel weak and I am starting to feel weaker. The after effects are showing already. I am getting a headache now and I am becoming dizzier now. On top of that, I need to dance first. I might not be able to survive it. This is really bad. I breathe in deeply. I have no choice. I need to endure it. Hwaiting!!! I can do it.

 

"Before you start, can you tell us if you have a background in music, dance or theater arts?"

 

"Well, back in highschool, I dance and sing. I sometimes join the dance crew whenever there are events at school" I saw Jae nodded. Of course, he knew that. "As for singing, I usually join singing competition before but I never won. Guess I'm not good enough. For theater, I haven't tried it yet."

 

The judges except for Jae, doesn't look impressed. But I am not impressing anyone. I just stated my experience.

 

"I see....hmmm...you can start now." one of the judges said.

 

I breathe in and out. Inhale...exhale. This is it. I am just waiting for the music to play. I already gave my flash drive which contains the music I will be using to the technical team before I went here at the stage. I started to positioned myself for my dance. Then I heard the music starts.

 

 

[A/N: Found this in youtube. Thanks to whoever edited the video. I wanted to originally used Dara's Kiss version in Pinoy Boyband Superstar. But changed my mind.]

 

*pant..pant.,pant.,pant.,*

 

I was out of breath. The choreography was not complicated but my current condition makes it hard for me to recurperate easily. Good thing I didn't pass out when I started dancing. I think I was too focus with it that I was able to endure everything. But I am still panting so hard. I need to fixed my breathing as I need to sing.

 

"That was a good performance, Dara-ssi. It was beyond my expectation." One of the judges said. 

 

"You may not have impressed us with your experiences but you did surprise us with your dance performance. I hope you will be able to do the same on your vocal performance." the other judges said.

 

I gulped. I am not sure if I can still sing. My breathing is hitching. I asked for water so they gave me a bottle of water. I drank it before going back at the middle of the stage.

 

The Blue Chords will be the one playing for the vocal performance. I went to them and told them the song that I will be singing. Good thing they know the English song I am about to sing. As for the Korean song, I requested them to play it right away as soon as I was done with my first song. I need to complete the audition quickly. I got a feeling that I'll pass out any minute from now.

 

 

[A/N: play the music while reading. These are her thoughts while she's singing it.]

 

While singing the song, I glanced my friends. I can see how relax they are while listening to my song. I look around and found out that every person in the auditorium is doing the same thing. They are all closing their eyes while listening to me. I smiled at the sight. I can see that they are into my voice which gives me more confidence. To tell you honestly, I am not confident of my voice because there are people who doesn't like it. They often tell me that I can't sing. That's why I'm glad that the people here are liking it, I assumed.

 

My eyes then darted to Kwon Jiyong. Just like the others, his eyes are close and his face seems relaxed. I was just staring at him. I can't take my eyes off of him. As his face looked relax, he looks more handsome. There's no tension on his face, the cold aura was gone and he looks like an angel. I hope he's just like that always. Wait...what? Am I complimenting him again? Erase erase erase... I look away from him.

 

*dugdug..dugdug..dugdug..*

 

Here's my heart again. What's going on with me? Why do my heart beats abnormally? Is it because of....

 

*dugdug..dugdug..dugdug..*

 

....him? I clutched my chest. Nah...that's impossible. This could be an after effect of my panic attack. I really need to be done with this. I need to rest.

 

My eyes again glanced at Kwon Jiyong. His eyes still closed. Then he smiled. That was a beautiful smile. It made my heart beats more erratically. Is it really because of him? Maybe it was just his smile this time coz I never saw him smile sincerely even on his videos. He smiles, yes, but not like what I am seeing right now. It is genuine. This is the first time I saw him smile on all of our encounters. I just hope that it was my voice that's making him smile like that.

 

Eh?...no way..Why am I thinking like that? I am getting insane because of him. Just because of that smile. Pabo-ya Dara, for all you know he was smiling because of CL. Maybe the song made him remember Chaerin. Suddenly I feel down. Why does the thought of him and CL made me feel disappointed and down? Could it be...no no no..that's not right. It is because I know Chaerin deserves better. Not that playboy. I just don't want Chaerin to get hurt.

 

My eyes move to Chaerin and I was surprised to see that she's staring at me. Her brows are knitted together. Then her gazed turned to Jiyong then back to me. I gulped. I look away from her. Did she saw me staring at Jiyong? Oh my God! She might misunderstood. I need to explain it to her. Wait..why do I need to explain? Why do I suddenly feel guilty? I didn't do anything wrong.

 

The song's about to end so I look at the band to give them a signal. They all understood and nodded. When the song ended, the band immediately plays the next song.

 

 

[A/N: play the song while reading ^^]

 

This song was one of my favorite since highschool. This song was the most requested song of my grandparents. They always made me sing this for them. They told me the song fits my voice. They're my number one fan. Even though they don't know the meaning of the song whenever there's a chance they'll ask me to sing it. Out of all the people who told me I can't sing, my grandparents are the one who always tell me that I am good in singing.

 

Tears pour down my cheeks. Remembering them made my tears fall. I miss them so much. I am so much thankful of them for taking care of me until they died. The last time I sang this was 3 years ago when they died. After that, I never sang it again. I know it will only make me emotional. But here I am, singing this song again. I hope my grandparents are hearing this.

 

I wipe my tears as I continue to sing. I need to calm myself if I want to sing well. Crying will make my voice falter. Then suddenly I felt a sting on my head. Good thing its the instrumental part of the song. I looked back to hide my frowning face. Please let me finish first. I prayed.

 

When I started to sing again, I tried very hard to act normal although my head is really painful now. The area is spinning around too. I don't know why but my eyes darted back to Kwon Jiyong. Our eyes met. His eyes...it looks familiar. Well, he really is familiar even when I first saw him. But that eyes...I saw it before...it was...

 

Huh? Why is he looking at me like that? I was distracted by the way he looks at me. He looks worried. About what? His face that usually devoids of emotion is showing different emotions right now. Worry, concern, anxious and irritation. What's wrong with him?

 

Uhmmm..I blinked my eyes. I even closed it a bit then open it again. But my sight is still blurry and it's getting more blurried. My surroundings are also spinning real fast. No..no..I need to finish my song. It's almost done. Just one more note. Then.....

 

....it went black.

 

 

 

 

 

A girl in a uniform were running in the hospital corridor when she bumped into someone. Since she was running fast the impact made her fall on the floor. She looks up only to find that she bumped into a teenage guy. They are almost the same age.

 

The guy was about to yell at her but when the girl looks up he stopped himself. The girl's face looks sad and in grief. Her eyes are  blood shot. And then he saw tears forming in her eyes. The guy thought that she might be in pain because of her fall.

 

"Ahmm..Are you okay?" the guy asked.

 

The girl did not answer him. Instead her tears are now falling from her eyes to her cheeks. The guy found himself staring at her face. It's the most beautiful face he have seen in his life. Though the girl is crying and her eyes are all puffy, she still looks beautiful.

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