---

We would create a rainbow

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The sound of his mother's chopping from the kitchen woke Kyungsoo up from his slumber. Glancing up at the clock on the white walls, he sighed as he saw that it was already 7:00 p.m. He kicked his legs off the couch and scrunched his face at the static on the television his little sister was unawarely watching. He walked towards it and turned it off, ears relieving of the quiet. His sister just blinked up at him while coughing and continued to play with her rag dolls.

He didn't get why the television was in a static mode. Had his mother forgotten to pay the bills again? Or had his father forgotten to send them money again for the eighth time now? Where was his father anyway?

"Oh, Kyungsoo, you're awake now?" his mother hollered from the kitchen, the sound of her chopping still echoing throughout their house.

His ears perked. "Yes, mother."

The chopping stopped and a sigh followed.

"Come here, son."

Without a second thought, he made his way inside the kitchen. He smiled a bit the moment he laid his eyes on his mother, but returned to his default, blank one as she started shaking her head at him disapprovingly.

His insides started to boil, heart thumping so hard it could fly out of his chest if he noticed closely.

What wrong had he done now?

"Mrs. Kang called me earlier," his mother started.

He could only shut his eyes close, an image of his Mathematics teacher flashing in his mind.

"She said you'd been failing your math subjects lately."

He only nodded. What else was new?

"Kyungsoo, you know you have to pass that subject. It's for your own good, for your future. You know I'm only looking out for you, right?"

He nodded, calming his heart.

"If only Jongin was your classmate. He could've helped you then."

And that was it.

He found himself running upstairs to his bedroom. He slammed the door close and dove into his bed, tears instantly making their entrance through his eyes.

Why could his mother always talk to him about his flaws and bring that name all over again?

When would be the time that that would never happen?

Well, that'd be a never.

For it seemed that every flaw of him was equal to Jongin's every charm.

Every time that he made a mistake, Jongin went higher up the hill of worth.

If his world was all dull and black, Jongin's was white and lively.

They were like the yin and yang; total opposites.

Kyungsoo got out of his bed and made his way inside the bathroom.

He couldn't take it anymore.

All the fake hope he had on himself was now rapidly stripping off him and he feared that. He feared. And that was because everything was not okay. Everything was just a lie.

He let out shaky breaths as he faced the mirror. His eyes were red and puffy, his face void of emotions.

"What are you looking at, ugly?" he spat to himself, smacking the mirror hard.

Darting his eyes to his wrists, he smiled to himself as he touched every horrible, little line on it. With each kiss of his fingers on each bump of them, he felt his world crumbling down.

They looked ugly... just like everything that he was made of.

The human skin could be a very hard place to live in.

"Silly kitty, always leaving perfectly parallel lines on my wrists."

That was why many cut it open.

--

"Hey, Kyungsoo. Are you okay?" his friend Chanyeol asked from across him.

They were at the school park studying for their English quiz later and Kyungsoo hadn't even flipped a single page of his notebook. He'd been just staring at it or looking up at the bright, blue sky. Today was very beautiful. The birds were singing a song he couldn't even understand for it was all about joy and living. The other students at the park just laughed and mingled with their friends.

He glanced at his only one and smiled a bit.

"Yes."

"Liar."

He feigned hurt, but chuckled as Chanyeol rolled his eyes.

"Don't you ever ing lie to me again, you punk." His friend glared at him and threw a book his way, hitting his head. "If you don't wanna study, you can copy from mine later then."

Kyungsoo just nodded and smiled thankfully at him. "Thanks. That's why I love you."

Chanyeol just waved a hand in mid-air as he continued to read his book, face flushed.

--

"Do Kyungsoo."

Upon the mention of his name, Kyungsoo got up from his seat from the back of the classroom to walk towards his maths teacher. He avoided the leg that was casually blocking the way to trip him and ignored his classmates' snickers at him.

"Do Kyungsoo's in trouble again."

"What else is new, Taeyang?"

"You're right, Jaebum."

They, his bullies, were lucky Chanyeol wasn't their classmate in this subject because if he was, he surely would be kicking their butts right now.

Kyungsoo finally arrived at the front without a scratch and that was new.

Mrs. Kang eyed him up and down.

Uh-oh. That was pity in her eyes. Not good.

Kyungsoo tried to calm himself, his hands slightly shaking.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"I've assumed your mother has already told you about your failing of my subjects, right?"

He nodded as she looked up at him from her table.

"I see. Actually, I've assigned one of my best students in the Math Club to tutor you."

His eyes darted towards her, hands picking at the seams of his jacket. "Pardon?"

"Don't worry. He told me that he was a cousin of yours so he said it was more than fine with him."

And by that, Kyungsoo could only blink at her.

Was he hearing her right?

A cousin of him as his tutor?

He thought of any cousin of him in the Math Club and he gulped at the realization.

There was no way Suho would have agreed. He was too busy with his nose always in his book. But as what Mrs. Kang had said, he had agreed.

Kyungsoo just shrugged at her. "Fine then. Thank you, ma'am."

She dismissed him early to go to the Math Club's room to finally meet his tutor.

He listed things in his head he was gonna do once he talked to Suho. He told himself to just stay calm and not to let out a stutter whenever he spoke to him — that would only make Suho think of him as dumber than he already was.

As he got to the room and saw the door already being open, he proceeded to go inside and was met with the large eyes of his Suho-hyung, being the only student there. His cousin closed his book, fixed his eyeglasses, and stood up, smiling at him.

"Good afternoon, Kyungsoo," he greeted, cocking his head to the side. "What brings you here?"

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes.

"Are you gonna sign up for the club? Wow. That is news."

He knew it. Even in here, Suho was still joking around.

Why did everybody always treat him as a joke? He was no clown.

"I ain't a clown here," he mumbled, looking straight.

Suho only stared at him like he had grown two heads.

"Don't joke on me, hyung," Kyungsoo scoffed. "Mrs. Kang told me you were going to be my maths tutor."

The elder's jaw dropped, but he closed it after a second.

"Really? I don't remember her telling me I have to tutor you—"

"Sorry, I'm late!"

Kyungsoo could feel his heart jump after he heard that voice.

That too familiar voice.

He rummaged his mind to find reasons as to why the boy was here.

Why was he here?

Suho gasped and beamed in his seat, "Oh, hey, Jongin! You're here, too?"

"Yeah, hyung. Oh, isn't that..."

Kyungsoo turned around to look at Jongin who was still stuck on the doorway with a boyish grin on his face and flushed cheeks from the run. The younger blinked and chuckled to himself, sending Kyungsoo to more shame than he already felt.

"Good afternoon, Kyungsoo-hyung," Jongin said and ran a hand through his sweat-wet hair, grinning. "I'm going to be your tutor, by the way."

Kyungsoo could feel his heart clench.

---

to hide the colorless blood they always poured out