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Why must life

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"I didn't know that," the teary-eyed boy mumbled, gaze trained on his shoes on the floor, guilt flooding inside of him.

Truly, Jongin hadn't known. He was feeling ashamed of himself now, even when he knew that he shouldn't be.

He heard Chanyeol tut.

"Kyungsoo's so foolish to think that way," Chanyeol said, voice barely a whisper.

Glancing up, Jongin watched as the boy traced his fingertips on Kyungsoo's forehead, then to the sleeping boy's nose, and stopped at his lips. Chanyeol stared at Kyungsoo's plump lips which was opened a bit as he breathed. Jongin wasn't liking the way how Chanyeol his dry lips as he stared at his bestfriend's pink ones.

"He's too special and perfect," Chanyeol continued, scooting his chair closer to the bed. "He just doesn't know that."

And without a warning, the boy leaned in and placed his lips on Kyungsoo's.

Jongin couldn't even move a bit, too shocked to even lift a finger. He could hear his heart inside shatter all over again. Coming back to his senses, he quickly dashed towards Chanyeol and harshly pulled him away from Kyungsoo. Chanyeol swatted Jongin's arms off him and faced the younger with an angered expression.

"What the is wrong with you?" he almost screamed at Jongin, fists clencing, completely bothered that his kiss was interrupted.

Jongin mirrored the elder, jaw clenching, glaring daggers at Chanyeol.

"I should be the one asking you that. What the is wrong with you?" he almost jumped in his place as he said those words. He couldn't believe he had cursed, but he just mentally shrugged it off. He was doing this for Kyungsoo anyways. Kyungsoo was all worth it.

"Is it bad to kiss him, you freak?"

"You're not kissing my cousin again!"

"But I want to. And you can't stop me because I love him!"

"I can. I love him, too!"

And there it was. The cat was completely out of the bag now. The words were so clear in the ears that one couldn't hear it mistakenly or even not hear it.

Chanyeol was looking at Jongin with his mouth agape like the younger had just said the most stupid joke in the planet.

Jongin blinked his eyes twice, not quite believing he'd said it out loud. He'd been too caught up with his emotions that he hadn't got to think first.

The sound of approaching footsteps cut Jongin off of what he was about to say, glancing at the school nurse already entering the clinic. The woman in white looked up at him and Chanyeol.

"Oh. You must be that boy's friends," she said and smiled politely. "I'm afraid you might have to leave because I will be cleaning him up. You can come back an hour later. He will have woken up by that time."

He saw Chanyeol nod at her and started to walk out of the clinic.

Jongin didn't hesitate to follow him to wherever he was going. He was gonna ask Chanyeol questions. And he hoped that the elder would answer them honestly.

--

He realized that Chanyeol knew that he was following him because the elder chuckled as he went to the back of a building which was quiet and far from the students' view. He heard Chanyeol grunt. The elder faced Jongin with folded arms, an amused smile playing on his lips as he clutched his arms tight.

"Why are you here?" he asked the younger.

"I want answers," Jongin replied, bangs swaying as the cool breeze hit them. "Do you really love Kyungsoo-hyung?"

The elder clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes.

"I ing do. Very much," he huffed. "And I know now that you ing do, too."

Jongin cringed at the reply.

"You must be nuts or something. He's, obviously, your cousin, Jongin," Chanyeol sternly said, emphasizing the words.

"I know. But I couldn't help it," Jongin confessed, lips trembling slightly. "And I know he loves me, too."

The elder gawked at him.

"He... He doesn't. He hates you bone-deep."

"He doesn't!"

"He hates you. I just know it."

"Then why doesn't he push me away when I kiss him? He seems to enjoy it everytime."

Chanyeol seemed to be stunned for a bit, clenching his fists. Jongin just cocked an eyebrow at the elder.

"You did not kiss!" Chanyeol growled, voice low.

And as if on cue, lightning flashed and thunders roared in the darkening clouds in the skies signalling of a heavy rain coming.

"We did. Several times already," Jongin said with a lopsided smile, face smug, thinking about his shared kisses with Kyungsoo. "His lips were just too soft I couldn't help but to feel them with my own—"

A punch on the face was what stopped Jongin in his words. Staggering back, he looked up at Chanyeol who was hunched and his face was distorting in anger.

"You're ing sick!" the elder shouted, and Jongin returned the punch to Chanyeol's face, bruising a red line on his pale cheek.

The thunders even growled louder as the two shot intense glares at each other. Big drops of rain then started to fall around them, on their heads, and to the hard ground.

Jongin could see the blood dripping down Chanyeol's clenched jaw, washed out by the rain.

"I don't care! I just know that we love each other," the younger shouted, voice almost muffled by the pouring rain. "That's what matters."

"Don't you get it? He is hurting because of you! He hurts himself because he always sees you!" Chanyeol furiously yelled back, pointing a shaking finger at Jongin.

The younger backed a step in shock. He didn't get why Chanyeol was so mad. He knew that the elder loved Kyungsoo, but that didn't mean that he'd start accusing him of things he didn't even wanna do to Kyungsoo ever.

"You are his nightmare, Jongin!" the elder continued to say.

"He loves me!" the younger retorted at Chanyeol, but it was mostly to convince himself.

Did Kyungsoo really love him? He never had heard his cousin tell him so, but he knew that Kyungsoo did. Jongin could feel it in his heart.

He was already crying in the rain, nose a reddish color, whole body already wet with his clothes sticking to his skin.

Why didn't Chanyeol understand that the he and Kyungsoo loved each other more than what they were? So what if he and Kyungsoo were cousins?

"If he just keeps seeing you, he'll hurt even more," Chanyeol muttered with a sigh as if he was tired already.

"What do you want me to do then?" Jongin asked, staring down, warm tears still spilling out from his now red eyes and mixing with the raindrops.

Chanyeol smiled to himself and shook his head, glancing at the younger.

"You know that my father is your dad's doctor right?"

The younger's head shot up from looking down at his feet.

"Dr. Park? So you're his son... Why?"

Jongin didn't know where Chanyeol was going with this, but he had a bad feeling about it.

"I know that your dad has liver cancer. I know that my father has told him to go out of the country for treatment. And I know that your dad wants to take you with him."

"I... know that. What about it now?"

The elder just stared at Jongin, his expression couldn't be read for the cold rain started to pour down even heavier, fog already forming around them, the surroundings were now murky.

"I say that you go with your dad. In that case, Kyungsoo won't be able to see you and hurt himself anymore."

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be this hard for us?