[ 16 ]

HER FEAR

***

"You told Jeongyeon-unnie?!"

Tzuyu was fuming mad. She didn't mean to but she directed her anger at Mina, who's now contemplating whether she needs to finally confront Tzuyu with her issue with Jeongyeon or just absorb everything that Tzuyu was saying since she can totally understood why the taller girl was acting this way. This time, she did something that was somehow way over the line. 

"She was concerned about you, Tzu. She just wouldn't let me go unless I tell her the truth." Mina calmly explained. However, this didn't satisfied Tzuyu. She took a sigh. "I know I shouldn't have jumped in between the two of you but you need to listen to her side. She genuinely cares about you as her sister--" 

"-IN-LAW." Tzuyu clenched her teeth and fists. She was serious. Dead serious but she wasn't looking directly at Mina. She was looking down. "Why would she care? Tss." She bitterly chuckled. 

Why would anyone care? In the end, they would just leave me.

Just like her.

Mina saw how the taller girl's bitter reaction softens. She saw how she bitterly laugh. She saw how she bitterly wiped her own trail of tears as she tries to hide it by turning her face away. She saw it by the way she looked down, like the floor suddenly became interesting.

And without needing any confirmation of words, Mina reached her hard-fisted hands. She warmly caressed it, expressing to Tzuyu how deeply she cares too. That she is not alone. That she was also right there existing, breathing with her. Mina was resting on her, forehead-to-forehead, when Tzuyu finally decided to lift her gaze. She met a pair of sincere, dark orbs staring at her lovingly. 

It was exactly like those pair of eyes.

Tzuyu almost melted but suddenly, she backed away. Mina was looking at her with confused eyes. Tzuyu was wearing an unreadable expression.

It was exactly like those pair of eyes. But still, she left me.

"Leave."

It was short but it gave Mina shivers. She was left there, standing, as she watch the back of the person she treasures most walk away. It was when she realized her own trail of tears wetting her cheeks. When will this pain stop? She swallowed bitterly.

"Why, Tzuyu?!" She shouted as she wipe her own tears away. "Why are you so cruel to yourself? Why would you always push the things that could potentially make you happy? Why do you always choose to be sad?!"

Tzuyu's legs finally gave in after closing the door to her own room. She folded on her own knees and sobbed. It's hard to keep an act together especially when in reality, inside, you were always falling apart. That's Tzuyu.

Why does the pain wouldn't go away? She looked up. Are you happy to see me always suffering? 

She had it enough. She had it enough of those stares melting her. She had it enough of those people leaving her. 

And from she was sitting, she suddenly heard Mina's shouting. Her words left ringing inside her head.

"Why do you always choose to be sad?!"

Her last sentence made her clenched her chest where her heart is located. There was a slight more pain. She closed her eyes and flashes of memories settled in.

Mina was always there. Whenever she achieves something, nor whenever she suffers from anything. She was just simply there, providing her with utmost comfort and care. And even just by remembering that fact, it instantly calmed her down. She once again wiped her own tears and rested her head against the door.

Are you like them? Will you leave me too?

Tzuyu mumbles. Then she heard a sound of her front door shutting.

That was it. She had her answer.

----------------------

(past)

"Why are you always sad... Tzuyu?"

Brown eyes deeply burrowed itself into Tzuyu's eyes, as if it was trying to read her restless, lonely soul. It once again caught the taller girl off guard , slightly chuckling it out and cover it with her familiar unamused face.

She leaned close, staring back at those brown expressive eyes. "Why are you always happy then, Sana?"

It's true. Tzuyu have always wondered how Sana could do that very well. It seems like if the world turns it back on her, she'll always find that reason to smile and laugh, even if that reason would be her own honest clumsiness. She'll trip and stumble herself in almost everywhere, either it's flat or rocky, hurt herself in the process, but still find it crazily amusing as she falls down cracking up on the floor. This unbelievable confidence of accepting her own flaws gave her the ability to make everyone's shady world brighter than it usually is. And that world includes Tzuyu's. But unlike Sana who finds herse