a/n I've decided to throw in a few fluff chapters for now. just think of it as... the calm before the storm. :3

P.S sorry this took so long to upload. I wrote the first 8k words in a week, but then things came in the way and I wasn't able to write for a while. I think that's why the ending was a bit lacking. Sorryyyyyyy

Chaeyoung POV

The next couple weeks passed by in a blur, most of her free time spent in company with Jungkook. And, even as much as she didn't want to admit it, Jungkook was becoming a more prominent figure in her life than Lisa. After that first date, Chaeyoung started to frequent Jungkook's house more than her own, more often than not spending the night at his place. This became such a habit to the both of them that Jungkook had a space in his drawer for her clothes so that she would have something to wear if she decided to come over. Another new development was that her flashbacks occurred much less often, and when they did, Jungkook was there to comfort her, and didn't ask for her to open up about them. He understood that she didn't like talking about it. 

That first date was like a gateway into some magical world, one where she was always happy and in love with her life. However, in the back of their minds, they were wary of not letting a repeat of that date happen. They kissed (a lot, for that matter) but never so passionately that they lost control.

One of the highlights for her, (she didn't think Jungkook felt the same, he'd seemed mortified) was a double date with Jimin and Jennie. They'd gone to a high-end karaoke place, and she found out that the other two were also talented vocalists. She had a lot of fun that night, but Jungkook, on the other hand, spent most of his time bickering with Jimin. Though she pretended not to listen, most of their banter was about who had the better girlfriend. And though she tried to hide her pleased reaction, Jungkook had (at least for that time) won the argument. Overall, it was extremely fun.

So that was why she'd opted for another double date, this time, lasting the whole day. Since today was a Saturday, none of them had anything already planned, even Jimin, whose hectic modelling schedule was much different than theirs.

She'd woken up early due to her excitement for the upcoming events, and Jungkook somehow sensed this, stirring on the bed next to her. (Oh, had she mentioned that they'd started sleeping together? ) Jungkook's bedroom was still dim, as it was before dawn, giving her the chance to pretend to be asleep so that Jungkook wouldn't worry about her and therefore go back to sleep.

But Jungkook was always too attentive when it came to her.

Her back was facing him, and she started when his hand unexpectedly landed on her waist. "Good morning, girlfriend," he whispered, planting a soft kiss on her cheek. 

Chaeyoung didn't know when, but sometime between the first date and now, their relationship status had been made official. Jungkook had just suddenly started the habit of addressing her as "girlfriend" every morning, as if he cherished the label.

"Morning," she replied, turning to face him. His proximity was always a shock to her, and this time was no different. She felt goosebumps manifest on her skin as she made eye contact with him.

She didn't know why, but neither of them found it weird that they slept in the same bed. It had started a couple days after the first date, when he'd invited her to his house a second time. After going out to a dessert place, they'd passed by Jisoo, who was in her car. Although Jisoo hadn't been looking at them, Chaeyoung felt intimidated that Jisoo always seemed to pop up without being told their wherabouts. To comfort her, Jungkook held her hand to sleep that night. And almost every night since.

"You should go back to sleep," Chaeyoung advised. "It's still really early."

Jungkook shut his eyes for a moment, and Chaeyoung almost thought that she had successfully convinced him. However, he opened his eyes a second later. "Nah. I'd rather just look at you instead." And he did just that, staring so intently that it kind of unnerved her.

"Stop," she insisted, covering Jungkook's eyes with her hand. "It's making me feel weird."

"Only," her boyfriend said, "if you go back to sleep, too." He pulled her closer to him with ease, so that their faces were just millimeters apart. He cupped her cheek with one hand, sending a rush through her that never ceased to arrive even though this contact happened a lot these days. "Deal?"

"Deal."

*
When Chaeyoung woke up the second time, Jungkook was not next to her. Based off the light shining happily through the windows, it was well into the morning. The scent of something delicious wafted into the room from another room, most likely the kitchen, and most likely where Jungkook was. Ever since that first date, he'd taken up cooking enthusiastically, surprising her with diverse meals and snacks every time she came over.

After brushing her teeth, she wandered into the kitchen, checking the clock on her way there. It was 9 in the morning. She sighed in relief that she hadn't overslept; her plans for today started at 10.

Just like she suspected, Jungkook was in the kitchen, attentively cooking what looked like an omelet. Realizing that he hadn't noticed her arrival, she sneakily went in for a back hug, to which Jungkook automatically stiffened, tiny hairs perking up on the back of his neck. Once he realized who it was, however, he relaxed, resuming his cooking like nothing had happened.

"Why didn't you wake me up? You know that we have plans for today," she reprimanded, although she didn't release him from her hold.

"I was going to, but you looked so comfortable asleep. Besides, I wanted to serve you breakfast in bed."

"Why? Is today some special holiday I don't know about?"

"Of course it's fine! Just hurry up because-" Before she could finish her sentence, Jungkook suddenly turned around, and lifted her over his shoulder so that she had a view of his . "What are you doing?!" she exclaimed in a fit of giggles, though she didn't fight back.

Jungkook grabbed the tray with his free hand and started to make his way to the bedroom. "I still intend on letting you have breakfast in bed."

Chaeyoung laughed and let herself get carried away, though she was hyperaware of Jungkook's hand, which was dangerously close to her lower back. When they got to the room, Jungkook gently placed her onto the bed and handed her the tray, making sure not to spill the coffee. Jungkook took a seat on the bed next to her, obviously waiting for a reaction.

She immediately dug into the food, and earned a chuckle from Jungkook. "You really like to eat, don't you," he stated, though there was no belittlement in his tone.

"Food's food," she said, simply, in between bites. She shoved a strip of bacon into . Without stopping to chew, she asked, "Did you have anything to eat, yet? It would be unfair for you to spend so much time cooking for me without you eating, yourself."

Jungkook rubbed his chin. "You know what? You're right." Without warning, he leaned toward her and bit off the end of the bacon that wasn't currently in , his lips just barely grazing hers.

Her eyes widened slightly at this bold move, even though she knew she shouldn't be surprised by his flirtatious side, as she had been exposed to it for a while now. Yet she couldn't stop the tingles that this sent up her spine.

She laughed it off, slapping his arm playfully with the fork-free hand. "Never steal my bacon ever again," she said, wiping her plate of the said food in the seconds following that to prove her love for it.

Jungkook raised his hands in mock-surrender, and he didn't try anything like that again. She finished the meal diligently, commenting on how good it tasted every few seconds because that was just the kind of person she was.

Soon enough, the plate was cleared and the coffee was finished. However, there was still the issue of Jungkook not eating. "Seriously, you should eat."

"I am pretty hungry..." he agreed, but he didn't move. 

"Well, do you want me to make you something, then?" Chaeyoung asked, getting slightly peeved that he was wasting precious time.

However, this sliver of anger dissipated when Jungkook started to pout. Having never seen such a cutesy action from him, she was taken off guard. Jungkook seemed to notice this, and leaned in so close to her that she could feel the heat from his skin. 

"I was actually in the mood for some Pasta," he murmured, his lips moving to his favorite place on her neck. Though he never verbally explained why he always started at that spot, Chaeyoung guessed that it was so it would give her a chance to stop him if she wanted. This was reflective of that first date's impact.

But there would never be a time where that would be the case.

Well, we do still have some time, she thought, before losing herself in the moment.

*

They arrived at the door of Jimin's lavish room in his apartment complex about half an hour late. Jungkook entered the room's passcode automatically, obviously having visited this room a lot.

They entered the room, and Chaeyoung worried that the other couple would be upset at their lateness. However, as told by Jennie's untidy hair and Jimin's swollen lips, and the fact that there was lipstick marks all over Jimin's face and none on Jennie's lips, they had been able to occupy themselves for the time being.

Jungkook bursted out into friendly laughter as soon as he saw Jimin, but the latter tried to act confused. Or maybe he really didn't know why Jungkook was laughing. 

Chaeyoung, being more mature, suggested that Jennie and Jimin freshen up before they headed out.

They piled into Jungkook's car a few minutes later, Chaeyoung taking the wheel, as only she and Jennie knew their plans for today. The car was silent for a moment, but then Jimin and Jungkook resumed the argument that they'd had last time: who had the better girlfriend. They seemed not to care that the subjects of the argument were in earshot. It was weird to hear such an argument: basically two grown men tossing around compliments that weren't directed at each other.

They arrived at their destination soon after, and the winner of the argument had still not been decided. This worked well with what she'd planned for later today, and Jennie's grin as they left the car told her that she agreed. The last event of the day was planned based on Chaeyoung's eavesdropping of the argument last time, and it was probably going to be the most fun of all. For the girls, anyway.

"Shopping!?" Jimin exclaimed as he realized where they were, dread filling his voice. "Jen, how could you do this to me?"

Jungkook, on the other hand, seemed content with their location, automatically linking his hand with Chaeyoung's. They entered the department mall after Jimin accepted the fact that he had to succumb himself to a couple hours of boredom in order to make Jennie happy. 

The two couples made their way to the clothing department, looking at different outfits for the girls. Jimin complained every few minutes, and after a while, got Jennie's permission to wait for her outside the department at a bench. Jungkook was much more patient, keeping Chaeyoung's hand tightly grasped in his, giving his input on certain outfits. However, she doubted his feedback, considering that he said she would look beautiful in every single one.

"You can wait outside with Jimin, if you want," she offered. She wasn't as interested in clothes shopping as Jennie (though this was her idea, it was only for Jennie's enjoyment), and if she was getting slightly bored, she figured Jungkook would be even more so.

"I'm fine," he replied simply.

"Huh. I think you're the first guy I know to enjoy shopping."

"No, I hate shopping. But I would pick spending time with you over my own comfort any day of the week." He let go of her hand. "But right now I gotta use the bathroom."

Chaeyoung giggled at his duality, and Jennie appeared next to her, apparently having listened on the last few words exchanged between them.

"He's a keeper," Jennie said, an envious look on her face.

As if I didn't know that, Chaeyoung thought.

*

They wrapped up at the mall by noon, afterwards heading to a ramen place for lunch. Jennie had ended up with bags upon bags of clothes, while Chaeyoung ended up with a box of chocolate (in her opinion, clothes were meant to be ordered online.) They enjoyed conversation about nothing and everything, ranging from stories about their past (Chaeyoung didn't share during that part) to random jokes and a continuation of the boys' argument.

Eventually, it came time for the next phase of the date. Once again, they got into Jungkook's car with Chaeyoung at the wheel. This drive was significantly longer, and she caught herself almost falling asleep several times. She was consequently forced by Jungkook to let him drive. She reluctantly agreed, on the basis that the only thing he knew about their next destination was its address.

At 2:30 PM, they arrived at a well-known amusement park, receiving an overly excited reaction from Jimin, not too unsimilar to a puppy receiving a new toy. Of course, this reaction was expected, as Jennie had suggested this stop specifically for him.

The blond seemed to realize this, and started to pester his girlfriend with kisses. "You'll ruin my makeup," Jennie grumbled, but she seemed to be enjoying herself nonetheless.

"Not in my car, please," Jungkook piped in, ruining the moment. However, as all parties left the car, everyone seemed to be happier than they were before. 

They automatically split up into two groups, the older couple heading in the direction of the tamer rides, such as the Ferris Wheel. However, Chaeyoung and Jungkook were not scaredy cats like them. Hand in hand, they practically ran to the tallest roller coaster ride they could find, unable to hold in their giddiness even on line.

Gradually, the number of people in front of them decreased. They were finally allowed on the ride, and although the start of the track was flat so people could get on, the track immediately in front of the first car lead upward in a steep incline.

They buckled on their seatbelts and lowered the safety bar over their laps, Jungkook checking the secureness of hers at least a dozen times. The ride suddenly jerked into motion, the car slowly climbing up the ascending track. Jungkook suddenly grabbed her hand tightly, his face pale and his breaths shaky and uneven.

"What's wrong?" she asked panickedly, unused to seeing him so scared.

"I-I-I'm scared of h-heights," he stuttured, grabbing her hand tighter with every lurch the car took upwards.

Chaeyoung cursed in her mind, trying to think of a plan to stop the ride. She realized that she couldn't; not just because they wouldn't stop a ride for a scared passenger, but because it was practically impossible. Roller coasters were not made to stop halfway. He would just have to brave this out.

She turned to Jungkook to tell him this, but his face had already regained its previous, full color and a devish grin was present on his face. "I'm a good actor, aren't I," he stated cockily.

Chaeyoung groaned at his antics. "You worried me for no reason! What was the point-"

"Well actually, there was a point," he said, indicating to their linked hands. "I just wanted to hold your hand."

"You could've, if you just asked," she replied, rolling her eyes.

"I know. But this way was more fun."

The car was almost at its peak now, and her heart was starting to race more than ever. She looked down, (despite what movie characters always said) and she could barely see the people waiting in line; they were just tiny specks on the ground. She gripped onto Jungkook's hand harder, her painted nails digging in slightly (yet Jungkook didn't wince). She was now grateful for his previous teasing; his hand gave her a sense of security despite the fact he could literally do nothing if the ride malfunctioned..

"Oh, one more thing," Jungkook added, as the car started to level out over the top of the peak.

"Wha-"

"I love you."

The car plummetted before she had any time to process the words that had come out of his mouth, much less reciprocate them. Along with the high speed of the descending car came a sense of weightlessness and adrenaline, and the inevitable fear that they were going to fall to their deaths. However, she let out a long scream that, with some science she didn't understand, converted that fear into exhilaration.

The car entered a loop, and she could feel blood rushing to her head and her bones rattling as the ride hurtled at an insane speed.

The ride went on for another minute or so, as saturated as possible with inclines, twists, and loops. Before she knew it, the ride came to a gradual halt, and they were forced to exit the ride.

Her heart was still racing when they took off their seatbelts, and her legs felt wobbly and unstable on solid ground.

"That was amazing," said Jungkook as the two went to the booth for the pictures a camera on the track took.

"It really was," she agreed, still dazed from the ordeal.

The walked hand in hand, enjoying the remains of the rush, when a voice in the back of her mind became louder. It wasn't the voice of her conscious; it instead was Jungkook's voice (she had to double check to make sure it wasn't Jungkook talking in real life). At first, the words he was "saying" weren't decipherable, but with each passing second, they gained clarity.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

The words repeated in her mind like a mantra, accompanied by a sense of guilt. She hadn't been given the chance to return the words, which she was sure was planned by Jungkook, but she still wasn't sure that he could return them now. She knew how she felt about him, and she was sure that it was love, plus more.

But wasn't it too soon? Wasn't it too soon for him to reveal his heart like that, for him to say definitively how he felt this early into their relationship?

No, she thought. She knew that he meant what he said. He always looked at her as if she was the only person in the world. He made her feel special, like she was the only person worth spending time for. He put her own happiness and safety before his without even thinking twice. 

But why couldn't she just say it back to him, just repeat those three easy words? She'd said those words to exes of hers without this much hesitation, even though she knew in her heart that they weren't the one. Was it because all those times, when she'd said those words, it had ended in a failed relationship?

After thinking it over, she realized that the answer, again, was no. All those other times, she'd thrown around the word loosely, common in her daily vocabulary. Yet now, this word held weight that she wasn't sure she fulfilled. Yes, he did all those great things for her, making her feel as if she was perfect. Yet, she realized, she never did the same for him. Besides existing, what had she done for him? Plan silly little dates? Hold his hand when he wanted to?

She felt even more ashamed, hating herself for taking advantage of him, for allowing Jungkook to waste his feelings on her for practically nothing in return.

So she couldn't say that she loved him. She wanted him, she needed him, she appreciated him, she cherished him, he was vital for her happiness.

She loved him. But she didn't love him.

"About what you said before," she started saying, as they waited on line for the pictures. She felt tears threatening to appear for no reason at all, her voice thickening with emotion. "I-"

"Oh, yeah. I forgot to apologize," Jungkook said, facepalming. "Sorry for making you think I was scared. I realize now that it was stupid to make you worried like that just for a joke. I promise to never do that again." He lifted their joined hands and pressed his lips to the back of her hand.

Chaeyoung didn't have the nerve to correct him, and she had a feeling that Jungkook was just playing off the situation to lighten her mood. He had the habit of interrupting people midsentence when he wanted to drive the conversation a certain way.

This, again, just emphasized the fact that, in her view, he was too good for her. Tha, he would ignore whatever emotions he was feeling by her not returning the words, just to make her feel better. That, if by some miracle, their relationship lasted much longer, she would end up disappointing him.

*

Jungkook POV

Chaeyoung seemed distant for the rest of their stay at the amusement park, and quite honestly, Jungkook didn't know the reason. If she still hadn't forgiven him for joking around on the ride... He realized that that was a bad place to worry her, but he didn't think it was that serious.

"Are you still mad at me?" he asked, after they clambered off their fourth roller coaster. 

Chaeyoung ignored his question, and said, "I just texted Jennie. We're gonna meet up at the arcade now."

"Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?"

"I'm fine," she insisted, but she was very clearly not. 

He stopped walking then, and he didn't care that he was in the path of other people. "Look at me," he said firmly, but Chaeyoung kept walking, not even acknowledging his request with a response. He felt anger begin to well up inside of him, but not at her; at himself for making her feel this way- whatever "this way" was.

He ran to catch up to her, and put an arm on her shoulders. He felt her body stiffen under his arm, and just as quickly, removed it from her shoulder. "Tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it," he said, keeping his cool. "You can't just tell me 'I'm fine' when you clearly aren't."

"It doesn't matter," she replied, her voice low and quiet.

Jungkook had never seen her like this, and therefore didn't know how to treat the situation. Should he pretend like he was fine with her not being fine? Should he give her space? Should he be supportive?

He decided to go for the latter. "It matters to me, Chae. Because I care how you feel, and if it's in my power to fix the problem, then I have to try. Tell me what I did wrong. Please." He felt his own voice breaking slightly with his own words.

"If you really care, then stop making the problem worse," Chaeyoung whispered, finally facing Jungkook. Her eyes were glistening and moist, but she didn't look sad, necessarily; just emotional. "It's not something you can fix."

Jungkook stayed silent then, unsure of what to do besides follow Chaeyoung to the arcade. So he hadn't caused this? But everything about her body language told him he had.

"You can tell me later, then," he replied with a forced nonchalant tone, and he reached for Chaeyoung's hand to hold. She took it, though her hand seemed limp in his. "Trust me enough to understand."

*

When they arrived at the arcade, Jennie and Jimin were already there, munching on cotton candy. Chaeyoung put on the front of being cheerful, yet Jungkook knew it was just that- a front.

They played for a few hours, mostly multiplayer games like first-person shooters and car racing games, Chaeyoung beating him in most of them (even though he was trying his absolute hardest). By 5 PM, they ended off their amusement park visit, Chaeyoung cashing in her tickets to get a rabbit plushie for Lisa. (At first, he'd thought it was for him because many people thought he resembled the animal.)

When they got back to the parking lot, Chaeyoung once again took the driver's seat. She seemed much happier now, probably since Jungkook had less chances to talk with her. It pained him to acknowledge that, but he let Jennie have the passenger seat so he would disturb Chaeyoung less.

He leaned his head on the glass of the window, taking this chance to admire the scenery. It also provided him with a chance to think.

He was sure that her mood had changed either during or after the first ride at the amusement park; she'd seemed happy during the shopping trip and especially while eating ramen. So that meant something had happened during that ride to make her so distant. He shifted his gaze from the window to his hand, where there were nail marks from her holding his hand too tightly during the first ride. Had he done the same to her? Had he hurt her unintentionally during that ride? He observed her hands, which were firmly at the wheel. From what he could see, there were no marks. But pain doesn't require a physical mark, he told himself.

Jungkook's memory wasn't the greatest, unless it came to recalling the lyrics of English songs or dances of girl groups. But he was quite sure that he hadn't said anything too outrageous besides, obviously, that ill-timed joke.

It was so ing frustrating. He knew he'd said or done something, but he couldn't remember what. He knew Chaeyoung was mad at him, but he didn't know why. He knew he had to fix it, despite what Chaeyoung said, but he didn't know how.

He grabbed the large rabbit that was wedged between him and Jimin. He looked into its large, black, glossy eyes, searching for an answer in his reflection. He didn't like feeling powerless. That was how he'd felt when his mother had passed away. And that was what he felt now.

Hugging the stuffed animal tightly, he fell asleep, hoping t