a/n Just a quick message before you read this: sorry it took so long for me. As you can tell, this is a long chapter, which means it took a long time for me to right. And if there's any continuity errors, please please please tell me. I often write chapters in chunks, and don't look back at my writing because it causes me to cringe. So if something seems really out of place please tell me. Now that that's out of the way... enjoy! ...Or don't. I can't force you to.

another important point i need to make: i'm not going to mention kookie's injured hand anymore, cuz that's just getting too repetitive for me and i'm sure it's getting too repetitive to you guys as well

Chaeyoung POV

It was 12 AM, and Chaeyoung was still wide awake, bustling around her house, making sure her entire living space. Why, you may ask? Well, like a good narrator who totally doesn't at his job, I'll tell you.

There were two reasons, plus one bonus that Chaeyoung didn't want to admit to herself. One was that she had already slept more than 12 hours today. Or yesterday, technically, seeing as it was past midnight. The bonus reason was that she didn't want to see what Jungkook, or at least she thought it was Jungkook (she hadn't read his last text yet) had messaged her. The other main reason was that today was February 11th: her birthday. And if she was going to throw herself a birthday party, like Lisa had made her, then she would have to make sure everything was perfect.

Like a good friend, Lisa had made her do something she didn't want to do, which was to be social. Chaeyoung was definitely not a party person, which she had definitely shown two nights ago. In fact, she would just be cuddling with Lisa (and possibly Taehyung, if Lisa brought him along) and watch crappy movies on Netflix, or be out eating ice cream.

But no, Lisa wanted- no- insisted on the party. So if that was what Lisa wanted for her, then that was what Chaeyoung was going to do. After all, that's what she owed her, having been the most loyal friend in the entire universe. She had accompanied her out of Australia into Korea when they were not even finished with high school (well, Jennie came along too, but they weren't as close), and Chaeyoung owed her everything in the world. Without Lisa, she wouldn't have found the rays of light through her father's emotional reign over her.

But, even as she was scrubbing the tiles and dusting the shelves and totally decking out the place, Chaeyoung was still troubled. Normally, by giving herself busiwork to do, she could take her mind of things that were stressing her. Now, however, seemed to be the first instance of this tactic failing. And the source of this failure was the man that lived two houses away from her.

Jeon Jungkook.

His name, face, body- everything about him- had been on her mind since she had practically run from his house earlier. Not even her mysteriously trampled snowman could sway her mind from gravitating toward him.

She busied herself fixing every little detail of her house, knowing that when she was done, the inevitable image of a half- Jungkook would come to her mind. So, her plan was to exhaust herself to the point where she would just collapse so she could prevent any Rated M thoughts from invading her mind. Right now, she would even prefer a flashback to these kinds of thoughts, but those were uncontrollable.

Two hours of hard labor later, Chaeyoung was exhausted from her efforts. Everything was perfectly in place- a circle of cushions on the floor out of the way of the entrance for games, her three couches meticulously placed facing a TV, a countertop full of alcoholic drinks (ranging from beers to vodkas), streamers carefully hung on the walls, a makeshift "DJ's booth" that consisted of a desk with speakers  on top of it with a place to plug a phone or laptop into, and most importantly, the place was practically shining in its cleanliness. The food and snacks would come later- Lisa was responsible for that.

She trudged her way back to her bed, which when she collapsed on it, seemed to hug her. She was so ready to just pass out, but suddenly her phone was in her hand, the screen glowing faintly into her face.

Stupid habits, she thought, cursing herself for her usual routine of checking her phone right before she went to bed. She read the most recent text sent to her, which was the number unfamiliar to her. After reading it, she was able to confirm that it was indeed Jungkook who had been contacting her.

Jungkook: I just wanted to see how my new 'relationship advisor' was doing. (Sent three hours ago)

Right. That had been her excuse for giving him her number. It hadn't been planned out, and frankly wasn't a good one in the slightest, but hey, at least it worked. She didn't know what she was going to do now that she kenw for sure that she had Jungkook's number. Furthermore, she didn't even know why she had wanted to be able to contact him. She had long ago convinced herself that they were not compatible  Someone as perfect as Jungkook deserved someone equally as perfect as him.

The thought brought back memories of their conversation, which was confusing as all hell. He'd told her he liked someone from work. And she was sure he'd only seen women from their specific office floor, and not from any other floors. This limited the possibilites to about 50. Unless he'd fallen in love with someone at the party, which would mean around 200 women. But then, there were guests at the party, and there was no way he could be sure that a specific girl worked at BigHit for sure, and he'd sounded pretty certain about that statement. Or maybe he had asked her directly and gotten a confirmation. Or maybe she had been pushing her boundaries, and Jungkook didn't want to give her an answer, and she should stop overthinking it.

Overthinking.

That was something she had been doing a lot these days. Ever since a specific someone had come into her life, she'd was constantly concerned about how she looked, how she acted, and what he was doing. She fretted over the words he said and what they could possible mean, she worried about every look he threw in her direction.

Chaeyoung: Hey.

Almost immediately after pressing enter, she regretted her rash decision, as Jungkook was very likely to be asleep.

Regretting was something she seemed to be doing a lot these days, as well. She regretted it when she said something embarassing in front of him. She regretted it when she received Jungkook's attention, because that attention would be better spent on someone else. She regretted it when she said something that would make him laugh or smile, because she would feel like she was melting from the inside.

Yet, with all this preoccupation came something good. She had something to look forward to every day, whether it was the probability of getting the breath knocked out of her just by glancing in his direction, or the exasperation she got from bickering with Lisa about whether Taehyung or Jungkook was more attractive.

"Jungkook" and "attractive" triggered the dreaded thought in her mind: Jungkook's beatiful torso. Similar to a flashback, she had to endure the entire memory, leaving her feeling... things.

During that brief episode, she did not realize her phone was vibrating violently in her hand. This was the result of two people texting her at once: Lisa and, surprisingly, Jungkook. She read Lisa's message first.

Lisa: DID YOU ASK HIM YET?

Chaeyoung sighed at the fact that this was her best friend: someone who texted her at two in the morning with vague questions.

Chaeyoung: Ask who what?

Lisa: You know what I'm talking about.

Chaeyoung thought for a second, but she was too tired to really think properly.

Chaeyoung: I'm too tired to think.

Lisa: Ughhhh. You're really dumb sometimes. Did you invite Jungkook to the party yet?

Chaeyoung's thumbs automatically moved before she even finished her thought.

Chaeyoung: I can't.

Lisa: Why not? You even invited Jimin and you barely even know him.

Chaeyoung: Only because I invited Jennie and she wanted me to invite him.

Lisa: Whatever. His loss, then...

Chaeyoung felt her phone buzz again. Another message from Jungkook. She didn't open it immediately, thinking about Lisa's words for a moment. Lisa had said "his loss", not "your loss". What did that mean? Did Lisa know something she didn't? Or was she just making a general statement?

She clicked on her and Jungkook's message thread, and two new messages invited her.

Jungkook: Hey.

Jungkook: Can I ask you something?

It was a bit underwhelming to see such a mundane text from him, like they were just ordinary friends. Why couldn't she act as nonchalant as he could? But she already knew the answer, didn't she: it's because they didn't think of each other the same way.

Chaeyoung: Shoot away.

Jungkook: How do I know if a girl likes me?

Chaeyoung was taken aback. Surely he must know the answer... had he seriously never dated anyone before? 

Chaeyoung: Well... there are many signs but there can be none at once. The signs differ between each individual, so you can never really tell.

Jungkook's response came quickly.

Jungkook: Then what are your signs?

Chaeyoung didn't have to think hard about that one. All she had to do was remember what she felt like when they last saw each other.

Chaeyoung: I usually smile and/ or blush a lot. Or I mess up my words. Or I can't look into the person's eyes.

Jungkook: Do you do that when you don't like someone?

Chaeyoung: Not usually, no. Why?

Jungkook: No reason. :P

Oh boy... Why did he have to throw emojis into this? Colon P could mean so many things, especially in this situation. She sighed and rolled onto her back, so she was looking up toward her phone. She sighed. She was overanalyzing this. Jungkook was probably just keeping the mood light.

She rolled back over onto her stomach, her fingers hovering over the keyboard. Now was as good as a time as any to- No. She couldn't do it. Not yet, at least. An invitation to her party could come at a later date. Besides, there was a high chance she had annoyed Jungkook by waking him up so late at night. Yes, she was right in her reasoning. It was unwise to make a move now.

Her phone buzzed again, and a new message popped up.

Jungkook: Hey.

She quickly typed back, eager for his words.

Chaeyoung: Hey yourself.

Jungkook: I never got to ask you before, but... do YOU like anyone?

Flashback

"Hey, Pasta." Her dad's voice was clear and words pronounced, calling her by the nickname he'd endearingly given her when she was much younger, when he was full of life and love. This could only mean one thing...He was sober.

"Hey."

It was a year before the accident in which Chaeyoung's mother died. A year before her dad drank himself to death. A year before she moved to her parents' home country, Korea.

"How are you?" He was sitting on a chair in front of the door when she'd returned from school.

"Good." Now that you're sober, she wanted to add. Despite the unexpected (but pleasant) surprise she'd come home to, that didn't entitle her to forget the hell that her life was because of the man sitting in front of her. Just because this one time he was different didn't mean she was going to instantly forgive him for years of mistreatment. "What do you want?"

"I just wanted to talk."

"You had fourteen years to talk to me, Father. Why now?"

"Pas-"

",Move out of the way." She threw her bag past him into the hallway that led into her bedroom. "I don't care what you have to say."

Her dad stayed calm despite his quick temper when he was drunk. It was incredulous what a bottle did to a person. "I'm trying to change, Chaengie."

She rolled her eyes, something she never would have dared to do if he had been intoxicated. "You're trying? This is you trying? You spend your life hiding at the bottom of a bottle, and you change for one ing day and you expect me to forgive you, just like that? You're pathetic." She spat his own words back at him venomously, and her father winced, almost as if he cared what she thought of him. As if. "You know what? I think I prefer you as a drunk, abusive father. At least you wouldn't disgrace the human race's sober side. Now move. I don't want to see your face anymore."

All the loathing built up from her entire childhood balled up into these hateful words. She wasn't usually a hateful person. In fact, she would sympathize with everyone, even bullies, because she knew that they had a past, too. Yet what surprised her most was how eerily calm she was while saying this. As if she was completely emotionless, disjoint from the feelings she would let out in her bedroom, through her guitar.

Her father complied, moving the chair to the side and resuming his seat, but not completely out of the way so that she still had to go near him to get to her room. As she carefully walked around his legs, careful not to touch him, there was a fear present in the back of her mind that he would grab her. However, nothing of the sort happened, and she successfully made her way to the hallway.

"Pasta," her father called after her, feebly and almost inaudibly. Something about his tone, that felt so familiar to her, made her turn around to face him.

"What?" she asked gently, but then realized she was supposed to act tougher. Damn her soft heart! "This is your last chance." She didn't specify the last chance for what, but she knew the message came across at the hurt that flashed on her father's face.

He stood up, and the keys that hung from his belt clattered against the accessory, causing her to wince. Belt buckles were something too close to home. "Do you like anyone?"

She almost choked at this question. This was seriously his last question? The last thing he could ever say to her, as he was undoubtedly going to be drunk tomorrow? Did her feelings, her life, for that matter, mean nothing to him? Well then, him.

"I'm fourteen, father. But I'm sure you forgot." She sent him one last glare before picking her bag up off the floor and heading toward her room.

Just before slamming the door, she heard something that haunted her conscience forever. "I just want you to be happy."

But the next day, the sight of a drunk, disgruntled man greeted her as she returned from school.

Nothing had changed.

End of Flashback

Normally, flashbacks took ten seconds at most, and this time was no different. Yet it feeled like an eternity since Jungkook had asked her if she liked anyone.

Of course she didn't like anyone. The way she felt about Jungkook was more than just a simple word.

Chaeyoung: Perhaps.

Please don't ask me please don't ask me please don't ask me please don't ask me, she thought.

Jungkook: Elaborate?

Oh boy, she thought. Here we go.

Chaeyoung: You know this relationship advisor thing is only one way.

Jungkook: Hey, I'm just making small talk.

Chaeyoung: So it's not necessary to answer?

Jungkook: That's not what I meant. Forget what I said. Answering is mandatory.

Chaeyoung: Fine. But I'm not naming any names.

Jungkook: Tell me about him.

She paused. She had to make sure she wouldn't say anything she would regret.

Chaeyoung: What do you want to know?

Jungkook: What's he like?

Chaeyoung: He's tall. 5'10-ish. Dark brown hair, wide eyes, 20 years old.

Jungkook: That's not what I meant. What's he like?

Chaeyoung was even more hesitant to answer this question. Physical descriptions were easy to make vague. But... if he wanted to know a personality description... She had to be even more careful.

Chaeyoung: He's nice.

Jungkook: That's it?

Chaeyoung sighed. There was no getting out of this, was there.

Chaeyoung: He's shy, like you. He's modest, he's caring, he's selfless, he's reliable, he's honest, he's a lot of other things. But mostly, he's just a beautiful person, inside and out.

Jungkook: Well, he's also stupid, then.

Chaeyoung: Why's that?

Jungkook: Because he's missing out on an amazing person.

Chaeyoung sighed, shutting off her phone and resigning herself to sleep.

How ironic this situation was.

*

Jungkook POV

"Dang... three days in a row? Is something really wrong with you?" Jimin scooped a spoonful of his sundae into his mouth. "Nothing like sundaes on a Saturday." Jennie, who was sitting next to him, giggled at his wordplay, even if it wasn't as good as it could've been if today was a Sunday.

He had tagged along on date with Jimin and Jennie, and Jungkook couldn't help but feel envious at how quickly the two had bonded.

"I've just been bored, that's all."

"Bored? What, is the Overwatch season not working out for you? I thought you were going for Grandmaster again." Jimin spooned a bit of his sundae into his girlfriend's mouth, earning him a quick peck on the cheek.

"I get Grandmaster every time, Jimin. But that's not the point. I just didn't feel like gaming today. Winning every game I play just seems boring right now. It wouldn't be if you joined me, though." He tried to tempt Jimin, but it didn't seem to work.

"Gaming's not my thing, man. Dancing's more my style. Which, of course, you know."

And Jungkook did. After all, despite his more favored hobby of gaming, he was pretty big on dancing himself. While Jimin had a more smooth, contemporary style, he had a more powerful, hip-hop technique. However, this difference did not cause a gap between the two friends, but instead, their styles complemented each other's.

But that was old news, something they had found out almost immediately. Now was the time for other, more important matters.

"I need your opinion," Jungkook said, pulling out his phone. He typed in the password and opened his recent messages, to the conversation between him and Chaeyoung. He stared at the words she had typed in, their shapes imprinting themselves in the folds of his brain. All those words... they could all describe him- some, surprisingly accurate to him. But no, he couldn't possibly be the one she liked. She said all those great things about that guy... of course it couldn't.

He couldn't trust that small glimmer of hope that existed.

Trust.

That brought him to the nagging thought that had been buried deep in his mind: Jisoo's warning.

Jisoo had said Chaeyoung was deceptive and manipulative. But Jungkook was completely sure that that was utterly untrue. Chaeyoung was so kind, genuine, and poor. It was impossible, at least in his mind, for Chaeyoung to have bad intentions. Jungkook trusted her with all his heart.

Yet, at the same time, Chaeyoung said the same thing about Jisoo, and the latter had seemed completely normal, as well. No creepiness, just anger expressed when he brought up Chaeyoung's name. But that was just one brief event, and even that was justifiable. She seemed trustworthy, too.

He didn't know what to think; his brain was fried just on thinking about where to place his trust. So he'd come to the one person he knew he could trust completely with every secret he had.

"Am I overthinking things?" he asked, watching as Jimin shoveled more of the sugary food into his mouth.

"You always do, Kookie," Jimin answered, not even bothering to know the context of Jungkook's situation. Jimin was always right, no matter what Jungkook told him or not. "Just go with your heart."

"But what if my heart's in two different places at once?" Jungkook didn't mean to say that he liked both women. His preference was clear as day to him. But one moment, his heart was telling him to chase after Chaeyoung, no matter if things were too rushed. But simultaneously, he felt like he was betraying Jisoo's warning, not even considering the possibility of Chaeyoung's being malignant, while he had wholeheartedly believed Chaeyoung's words when she'd warned him against Jisoo.

Everything was so confusing, a jumble of thoughts in his brain that wasn't fully coherent. He knew he shouldn't think too deeply into things, that someone's opinions of him didn't mean the end of the world. But his very being wanted to please everyone. And those two ideals just conflicted.

"Well, you're boned." Jimin his lips, and Jungkook waited for him to say- "Just kidding," Jimin added, predictably. As always. Jimin's habits and speech patterns were as familiar to Jungkook as the back of his hand. "My advice to you is just to use your brain less when it comes to love." His eyebrows furrowed a little bit. "This is what you're talking about, right?"

Jungkook shrugged. He didn't really know, either. He felt as if love was just a word people used to describe a bond between people. But the way he felt about Chaeyoung was different, somehow. And besides, if he admitted that he was in love with a girl he'd just met a few days ago, he would never hear the end of it from Jimin. 

"Can she-" Jungkook started, and Jimin quickly interjected..

"Wait for me outside, please?" Jimin asked of his girlfriend, and after one quick kiss on the lips, she did as he said. Jimin longingly stared after her as she exited, and Jungkook felt sorry for bothering him on his date. Without even looking at Jungkook, Jimin added, "Don't feel sorry. I'm always here for you."

Jungkook smiled, but his guilt wasn't a single bit appeased. "But that's no excuse for me to impede on your happiness. I'm sorry, hyung."

Jimin sighed, obviously exasperated at how stubborn his friend was. "Don't worry your little head over this, Jungkookie. Even if things don't work out for you, and that's a pretty big if," (Jungkook didn't know what he meant by this) "it's not the end of the world. I don't really know what you're going through, and I don't really care. So all I'll tell you is this: I can't help you in this situation. But I'll be here to support you no matter what." After this, he smiled widely, his eyes squinted, letting Jungkook know that the expression was genuine.

"But-"

"Shut up. Listen to your hyung." Jimin poured the rest of the half-melted sundae into his mouth, and he sat in his seat for a moment, content. "You know, Kookie, I'm surprised."

"Hmm?" Jungkook was scanning the menu mounted on the wall above the cash registers.

"I thought you'd called me for some more fashion guidance." The older male folded his arms across his chest. "I'm kind of hurt. Did you not like your outfit last time?"

"I don't know what you mean, hyung," Jungkook replied, adding in honorifics to show that he was sincere.

"The party tonight. I'm surprised you didn't get invited."

"You know I don't go to parties. Why would this one be any different?"

"Because it's for the one that lives two houses away from you. You know, the one you-"

Jungkook glared at him to shut up, his cheeks aflame. Chaeyoung was having a party today? Weird. She hadn't seemed like the type of person to hold public events. And if Jimin was invited and not him... What could that mean? She had been so friendly with him yesterday, even to the point of complimenting him (a lot, for that matter). Was it all just her being polite?

"What's the occasion?" he asked. He didn't even know why he was trying to act nonchalant; Jimin could see right through him.

"I think it's her birthday or something. According to Jennie, she invited a whole list of people. Mostly people from work." His eyebrows scrunched up. "She is the one you-"

"Yes, Jimin," Jungkook growled. "No need to rub it in deeper."

Jimin raised his hands up in surrender. "Hey, I'm just trying to be sure. Well, tough luck, Kookie." Jimin got up , and walked out of the dessert place. Jungkook watched out of the window as Jimin strolled away, arm around Jennie.

Sometimes Jungkook wondered if Jimin knew if he was this controversial.

*

It didn't make matters any better when, the second he got home, Namjoon texted him as well.

Namjoon: You psyched for the party tonight?

Jungkook: I'm not going.

Namjoon: C'mon, it'll be fun... :P

Jungkook: I didn't get invited.

For some reason, having to type this words made him angry. Why was everyone so expectant of him being invited? It was so annoying and so frustrating to have to keep saying that he wasn't the person everyone thought he was: likeable. He didn't care so much about not being invited. That was completely justifiable. But what wasn't was why everyone (in reality, just Jimin and Namjoon) thought he was some irresistable person that could snatch anyone he wanted. Because clearly, it wasn't working.

There was no shred of hope left inside of him that there had been some mistake, some mixup, some confusion that had lead to his lack of invitation. It was already 7PM. Nothing was going to happen, no matter how much he wished for it. Of course, not that he wanted desperately to go to that party. That was a ridiculous notion.

He changed into a black tank top and shorts and walked into his gym room, the familiar surroundings a calming sight. This was how he dealt with his frustrations: venting them into his punching bag or pouring them out through his sweat.

And right now, he needed to sweat a lot. And sweat, he did.

For an hour, he pushed himself past his breaking point, doing more pullups, pushups, punches, planks, and other exer