Since I was off work for the day and the next day, I went around Seoul all by myself. I switched off my phone to get some silence. It was a mistake walking around Seoul for I saw many places that had hints of our eight years together. I questioned myself. Was it a mistake? My heart wasn’t letting go but my head told me to let go. And seeing Hyukjae cry for me, I felt regretful for the pain I caused him. Tired of thinking, I let myself rest at a noodles house. When the waiter presented the menu to me, I looked at it, almost shocking myself with all the coincidences. Eight years ago, Lee Hyukjae brought me here on a friendly date when he first asked me out. Eight years later, I’m here all alone because it all ended. I couldn’t eat there. I couldn’t bring myself to so I headed back out while apologizing to the confused waiters there.

I continued drifting about, not knowing how to feel, mind still confused. Feelings that was ingrained inside of me. How do I let them go? How do I stop the pain? I wanted so much to walk into a wall and bang my head on it. All these were driving me crazy. When night fell, I sat myself down on a bench near a park. At that moment, I started sobbing.

“Haemin?”

I looked up and found Hyun-na staring at me in shock. I must have looked rather disheveled with tears running down my cheeks.

“Omo! Why are you crying?”she asked, bewildered.

“I met up with Hyukjae and I insisted on a break up,”I fumbled through my explanation.

“You what? Oh dear, let me call the other two,”she reached into her bag to call Taeri and Soobin.

I tried to explain why I did it but my throat kept closing up, causing me to choke on my tears. I coughed and sniffed while I talked. But that was nothing compared to the pain in my heart. My mind was spinning and I couldn’t form complete sentences. In my mind, there was one picture and it was the smiling face of Lee Hyukjae. The smile he would give me whenever he saw me. The eyes that looked into mine, so loving, as if telling me he would steal a star for me if I ever told him to. Those eyes that gave me courage. I would do anything for him; even take a bullet for him. But I did the worst thing I could to the man I love. I was the one who crushed his heart. My head, though keeps telling me that I’m doing the right thing. I could never continue on, thinking that one fine day, my nightmare would return and I would be pushed aside once again.

 Hyun-na continued comforting me and by the time, Taeri and Soobin came, I was just blowing my nose with a tissue.

“Let’s go drinking,”I said without thinking when Soobin and Taeri came nearer.

“Go where?!”Taeri asked.

“There’s a bar nearby, right? Let’s go,”I stood up.

The other three just followed silently as we walked towards the bar. I ordered drinks after drinks and the bitter taste of the liquor I was drinking tasted wonderful.

“Drink slower, Haemin,”Soobin frowned.

“Yeah, you’re gonna get drunk like that,”Hyun-na shook her head.

“Maybe that’s a good thing. It’ll let her numb her pain for today. She looks too miserable,”I heard Taeri speak up.

“Kwon Taeri!”Soobin glared at her.

“The alcohol will let her sleep. I rather she drink herself silly and start anew tomorrow then let her harp over it for the next few days,”Taeri explained.

“Moreover, we are here to watch her drink. Nothing bad will happen,”Hyun-na agreed with her.

“I can’t believe it…,”I muttered.

“Can’t believe what?”Soobin asked.

“Hyukjae oppa and I…we broke up,”I teared.

“Told you all guys are jerks,”Taeri rolled her eyes.

“Hyukjae oppa wasn’t a jerk…he wasn’t. He isn’t…,”I continued drinking.

“To you, he isn’t. But he’s been one for the past few months,”Hyun-na shook her head.

“But he is still a nice guy, after all. A car as a break up present? What the hell?”Taeri exclaimed.

“Exactly! Now I know why the girls were so jealous back then. This is the result of dating an heir to a huge company,”Hyun-na nodded her head thoughtfully

“Kwon Taeri! Jung Hyun-na!”Soobin hissed.

“You all should have seen him just now. He cried when we broke up…what am I going to do…,”I let my head fall on the table.

“He cried?!”Hyun-na exclaimed.

“That’s new,”Taeri was amazed.

“Anyway, we should go now. She’s had too much,”Soobin interrupted.

“Can you handle her by yourself?”Taeri asked Soobin.

“I’ll get Donghae to meet me downstairs,”Soobin said.

“That Donghae is a little suspicious, isn’t it?”Hyun-na spoke up.

“Yeah, coming all the way to Seoul with her,”Taeri agreed.

“Guys, let’s get out of here first. Help me carry her,”Soobin said as she helped me up.

Somehow, they brought me into Soobin’s car and she drove me back.

“What happened to her?”I heard Donghae’s anxious voice as Soobin try to help me out of the car.

“She drank too much,”she simply explained.

“Weren’t you all watching her? Why did you all let her drink so much? She’s dead drunk!”Donghae asked as he carried me bridal style.

Contrary to their belief, I was a little conscious and was listening. I could handle my alcohol rather well and was merely a little sleepy from all the alcohol. I just had my eyes closed.

“She was too miserable and we thought a little alcohol can help her sleep,”Soobin explained.

“This isn’t a little alcohol! She’s so drunk, for goodness sake,”Donghae argued.

“Why are you anxious, anyway? Do you like her?”Soobin asked him as he put me down on my bed.

There was silence as he covered me with the blanket.

“In my opinion, those two are just having a huge obstacle in their relationship. So, do what you deem fit,”Soobin said in a serious tone.

Donghae and her left, leaving me alone in the darkness of the room. I heard my phone vibrate beside me and grabbed it.

“Haemin…,”

Looks like I wasn’t alone in this. Someone was as drunk as me.

“You can’t do this to me…really, you can’t,”

I fumbled with my phone and it dropped, hitting the bedside table and onto the floor. Hearing the loud ruckus, the door opened and Donghae came in.

“What’s going on?”Donghae asked.

“I dropped my phone…,”I managed to mutter.

He switched on the lights, blinding me and came over to see where my phone was at. I tried to readjust my vision as I saw him stand beside my bed motionlessly, staring at my phone.

“He called you again?”he asked.

“Erm…,”was all I could manage as I felt nauseous from the light.

“Why did you answer it?”he asked, a little angry.

“Give it back to me…,”I reached out for it.

“Why are you making yourself so miserable for an idiot like him?”he asked.

“How is that your business, Lee Donghae?!”I glared at him.

“Your business is my business, Kim Haemin,”he glared back at me.

“Why do you even care? Do you realize that you are no longer bound by your promise with Lee Hyukjae? You can go back to your childcare centre, you know that?”I questioned.

“That’s because I worry for you and I wish that you were happy. I can’t go back, knowing that you would be as miserable as you are now,”he replied.

“You worry too much for a friend, Donghae. People will misunderstand,”I shook my head.

“That’s because I’m not worrying for you from a position of a friend. Can’t you tell that I like you, Haemin?”he confessed.

Immediately, I turned to look at him. He realised what he just blurt out and I saw panic rising in his eyes.

“Haemin..sorry, …,”he cursed.

“Why do you like me?”I asked.

“Huh?”he was all confused.

“What do you like about me? Hyukjae doesn’t even care for me. Why do you want to care about someone like me?”I asked.

“That’s because he was stupid. You’re the first girl whom I’ve seen loved so hard and I like that side of you,”he admitted.

“Is this a joke, Lee Donghae? I just turned single, you know,”I asked.

“No, this isn’t a joke. I just realised my feelings for you a few weeks ago,”Donghae replied.

“That explains a lot and Taeyeon was right,”I nodded my head in a daze.

“Haemin, I’m being serious,”he sat down on my bed causing me to look into his shiny eyes.

Unable to look away, I just kept staring. In the silence of my bedroom, the two of us sat still and stared into each other’s eyes. I don’t know whether it was my eyes playing tricks on me but Donghae inched his head a little closer.

“Donghae…,”I managed to mumble his name, unable to understand what was going on since my head was a bit wuzzy.

I tightened my grip on the blanket when his face was inches away from mine. I blinked a little and he lowered his eyes to look at my lips before looking back up again. Unknowingly, my heart was racing and before I knew it, I closed my eyes. Then, I felt it. Donghae had pressed his lips against mine. It seemed that kiss rang some bells in my head and my eyes shot open. I realised what was happening and I pushed him away. Donghae looked at me, as if finally gotten some sense into his head, he scratched his head apologetically.

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have led you on!”I closed my eyes tightly.

I opened them to see an awkward looking Donghae.

“No, it was my fault. I shouldn’t have thought of doing that. I’m so sorry,”he stood up immediately.

“Donghae, I’m so sorry,”there was some sort of urgency in my voice.

“No, no. I’m the one who should be sorry. I’ll get going,”he panicked.

“Donghae!”I called out.

He stopped right in front of the door, hand already on the knob. He breathed in and out before turning around to look at me with a smile.

“Let’s pretend nothing happened, okay?”he asked.

Seeing that fake smile that hung on his face, I was rendered speechless. I could only nod.

“Goodnight,”he simply said before opening the door to get out.

What did I do?

End of Chapter

DarkAngel