Unknown to everyone around me, I cried myself to sleep and I actually read those messages from Hyukjae. I missed him like hell and there were times when I would want to just call him to get back together with him because it hurts too much. But I had to listen to my head. I ignored it back then and landed in the hospital with a miscarriage. It was too much. I had to remember how he was always neglecting me. He only cared when it was convenient for him. I kept telling myself that one day I will get over him. How? I don’t know. For now, I was just pushing him to the back of my mind. I love him dearly but I had to do this. I deserve more than what he gave me.

A day after my phone call with Jiyong, he called me up to tell me that he had scheduled an interview the next day on behalf of me. Three days after his phone call, the hotel offered me a position and I was to be on probation for a month. That was how I started working. My first shift was actually a midnight shift with Jiyong and I was barely surviving. Many times, Jiyong would ask if I was alright since I looked rather pale and he would get me a glass of warm water. Since it was my first day at work, he allowed me to rest as much as possible, knowing about my anaemic condition.

“Well, that wasn’t so bad, right?”I smiled as we knocked off together at 9am.

“You weren’t too bad technically but your health is worrying,”Jiyong frowned.

“I’ll be fine. Thanks so much for today,”I smiled.

“You’re welcome, my friend. Take care, alright. Do you need a ride home?”he asked before we walked into the changing room.

“I’ll take the bus back,”I shook my head.

“Wait, wait. I thought you had a car?”he asked, all confused.

“I wasn’t the one who bought it. So, it isn’t mine,”I answered.

“Then, let me drive you home. You look so pale,”Jiyong offered.

I was about to open my mouth to protest when he stopped me.

“I’m not taking ‘no’ for an answer. I’ll wait for you here,”he pointed to where he was standing before heading to the male locker room.

After we changed, he led me to his car and we got in. All the way, we caught up and talked about our life.

“Thanks for driving me home,”I smiled.

“Rest well and I’ll see you later at midnight,”he waved.

When I opened the door to Soobin’s apartment, there was only Donghae in the living room, watching television. When he saw me at the door, he stood up immediately.

“Why do you look so pale? Come sit down. I’ll make a hot drink for you,”he sat me down and went off to fetch a mug of hot chocolate.

“Thank you,”I smiled thankfully.

“Haemin, are you really okay? Your body is still too weak,”Donghae sighed.

“I’ll be fine. Relax, Donghae,”I patted his back.

“Hyukjae would kill me if he finds out that you’ve been tiring yourself,”he muttered before he realised what he just said.

“Is that how you always think when I was still staying at your house?”I asked.

“Well, yeah. Whenever he does visit, he leaves a warning message on my phone, telling me to take good care of you,”he explained.

“But you don’t have to worry now cause you don’t have to answer to him anymore,”I smiled.

“How can I not worry about you?!”Donghae blurt out.

That left us staring at each other before I blinked and look away.

“Sorry, that didn’t sound very right. But I meant worry as a friend. You’re not taking this the wrong way, right?”he asked.

“Of course not,”I answered.

I went off to sleep after showering and the routine repeats itself. I was back at work with Jiyong once again at midnight. This time round, it went better because I was slowly adjusting to the timings of my shift. That day when I was about to knock off with Jiyong at 9am, I got a call from Soobin. And I realised that I had a few missed calls from her.

“Yes, Soobin?”I answered, all worried.

“You gotta get your back here as soon as possible,”she demanded.

“Why? What’s wrong?”I asked.

“Apparently, Hyukjae found out that you were staying here. He refuse to leave,”she sighed.

“What? Okay, I’m coming home soon. Just bear with it for awhile,”I replied before hanging up.

After Jiyong dropped me off in front of her apartment, I looked around and spotted Hyukjae’s car. I sighed before making my way upstairs. When I opened the door though, I still got a shock from his presence. The way he sat at the dining table with such a serious expression scared me a little. He looked up and caught my eye and I thought of the first time we had a conversation, how he was just looking at the ground when he looked up and locked eyes with me when I walked by. He stood up and slowly made his way towards me. His eyes had softened and he was looking at me just like how he had 8 years ago.

“What are you doing here?”I asked.

“Soobin said you were working. You looked so tired, Haemin. Stop it,”Hyukjae spoke softly.

“Ordering me around again, huh? Lee Hyukjae, you never learn,”I rolled my eyes.

“You know perfectly well that this type of jobs don’t suit you, Kim Haemin. Quit the job and work at my company and I’ll give you twice the amount the hotel is paying you,”Hyukjae knew I was never going to stop working.

“Sorry, I’m not taking up the offer. Now, leave,”I pointed towards the door.

“Fine. But I’m not leaving just yet. Let’s talk, Haemin. We don’t just end like that. In fact, we shouldn’t even end,”Hyukjae hissed and I know he was getting irritated with me.

“There’s nothing to talk about. I have a reason for blocking your calls. Now, would you please get out?”I opened the door for him.

“How many times must you chase me out before you let me talk to you?”he mumbled as if to himself but I heard it.

I watched as his shoulder hunched and he dragged his feet out but I caught a glimpse of his eyes. There were tears hovering on his eyelids and I closed the door so that I wouldn’t see it anymore. Beneath his strong persona, Lee Hyukjae was still the same old 16 year old boy I met. His tough exterior was built thanks to the demanding business world and he took to the way other CEOs act. It then became a habit to act like that with me as well. He didn’t know how to stop. But times where he was concerned about me, he was back to being the 16 year old whom I fell in love with. He cares. He still loves me.

Stop it, Kim Haemin. You gave him so many chances but he never took it. Remember how you were when you were in the hospital. All those emotional trauma from losing a child and he wasn’t even there. You were crying in Taeyeon’s embrace instead of his!

Days went by with no news from him. According to Soobin, the calls had stopped and the messages to me stopped as well. He didn’t drop by Soobin’s house. Had he given up already? When I was about to knock off, I stared at my phone. I decided to unblock the calls from him to see if he really did stop trying to contact me. Minutes went by after I unblocked and there indeed was nothing. A tear escaped.

See? He doesn’t care anymore. He gave up. So much for tracking you down and everything. His workload is still more important, after all. He has no time to chase after you anymore.

Just when I was about to start sobbing, the phone came alive.

[Lee Hyukjae calling…]

I miss him so much. The pain in my heart is too painful.

“Haemin?”he sounded so shocked when I answered his phone.

But my head was still right. Lee Hyukjae is still a CEO of a huge company. His workload is too much. He wouldn’t have time for me. I’m tired of waiting and being neglecting. Months of being neglected and my miscarriage was enough proof. I’m not stupid anymore. I’m no longer under his spell.

That’s right, Haemin, be strong.

“Can we talk? We can’t just end, Haemin. We can’t,”there was urgency in his voice.

I closed my eyes as I listened to his voice. A voice that I missed so much. A voice that whispered into my ears, telling me how he loves me countless of times.

“Fine, let’s talk then. Meet me at Starbucks near the park at 10.30am,”

End of Chapter

DarkAngel