He is there again, sitting on a bench at the park, wearing a serious face as his hand with a pencil move smoothly on the sketchpad. He doesn't really know what he was sketching at the moment, he was just a passerby, a passerby only. He is a student in their school, yes, he learned his name, his hobbies, his skills through eavesdropping (his classmates seem to admire this guy). Tegoshi Yuya, a transferee second year student, excellent in P.E. , English, Science, and History (they said he hates Mathematics but he still has good scores in every quiz and exam), he plays soccer, he likes music (they also said that he knows how to play guitar, drums, piano, and violin) and he has a good soothing singing voice , he is good in drawing and dancing. He is a pretty boy, a pretty perfect transferee boy (he heard that from his classmates, they were talking so loud so it's not his fault that he overheard them).

At first it was just nothing, he saw him sitting on a bench, looking at the sky, spacing out. His gaze was locked on him that he didn't notice he was not walking straight anymore, his shoulder hit a lamp post and he lost his balance, stumbling down on the bushes near the lamp post. That get Tegoshi's attention, he tilted his head to the direction of the noise, confusion written all over his face as he watched a boy standing up and struggling to get his bag which was stuck on the bushes. Masuda saw in the corner of his eyes that Tegoshi shifted and is now standing and was looking at him. He panicked and he pulled his bag so hard that the force made him stumble backward. He hurriedly stands and walks away, fast pace. That was embarrassing. When he reached their house, he directly went to his room, still feeling his heart beating fast because of embarrassment. He inhales and exhales deeply to calm himself, throws his bag on the desk and falls on his back to his bed, as he tried to remember what happened earlier. He closed his eyes as he weighs some questions in his head. No one saw that except Tegoshi, right? And he didn't see my face, right? Tegoshi is a nice guy. He won't tell what happened to the others, right? But.. I think I have to prepare myself for tomorrow.. What if someone saw that? They might tease me again.

Masuda is an awkward boy. He easily get distracted and slow, he needs time before he can understand a lesson completely, but still he is a smart kid, just slow. He is good in sports but no one really cared about that, just him and his family. He is a second year student but he doesn't have a friend, a close one. He does have one before, but he already graduated--Koyama Keiichiro, his neighbor, childhood friend, a big brother figure. Well, his classmates always talk to him but that is just to , call him names, and he can say it doesn't hurt him anymore, all those words that they call him. He is alone and he knows it'll stay that way until he would graduate. He hates his school, no, not really.. it is the students there that he hates, the teachers are okay, even the Principal (he saw the Principal once wearing a gardener clothes, planting flowers on the side outside their school, no one noticed the Principal, he got surprised but smiles when Masuda greets him a 'Good Morning' and bows.)

Morning comes and when he entered their room, nothing weird happened. The day ends just like any other day, his classmates talking to each other, him eating his lunch peacefully, his classmates teasing him when he burped, it took him a while before he understands the new lesson and so on. The school bell rang and his classmates rushed directly to the door, not even letting the teacher pass first. He stayed behind till all of them were gone, including the teacher. It's not yet that late so he went to the library to do some advance reading. When he was walking on his way to their house, he saw Tegoshi again on that park, on that bench, but he was not looking at the sky, he was wearing a serious face as he sketched something on the big notebook on his lap. Masuda didn't stare at him this time, he just continued walking till he reached their street, till he reached their house.

The next day, when he passed by on that park, Tegoshi was there again, and he has that big notebook on his lap again but he is not doing anything. He was pouting his lips, looking at the big notebook while wearing a serious expression as he thinks of something that Masuda couldn't figure out what. He sighs and averted his gaze on the sky, he was spacing out when his phone rang. When Tegoshi stands, he found himself hiding. And when Tegoshi walks away with the big notebook on his hand and a guitar case hanging on his back (and he has to admit, he didn't notice the guitar lying beside him on the bench), he found himself staring at his back.

It's been three months now, and every day after school Tegoshi would sit there in his particular place on that park, sometimes sketching, sometimes playing the guitar, sometimes writing something, and sometimes humming a song as he got lost on the vast sky. And within that three months, he found it strange that he is always looking at Tegoshi, in school, in soccer practice games, in the music room, and at the park. He, too, has found a place on the park, behind the benches, under a tree, where he could stare at Tegoshi as long as he wants, and when Tegoshi would start to pick his things, he would go to the other side of the tree and would wait there until Tegoshi is out of sight.

It was one Sunday afternoon, he saw Tegoshi, they talk as if they know each other very well, he sat beside him on the bench and listens to him as he strums his guitar and sing a song. Tegoshi was looking at him in the eyes, he didn't look away when he ended the song, he smiled at him and Masuda leaned closer till his lips touched Tegoshi's lips. After that, he woke up, finding his mother beside him with her brow raised followed by her scolding about him napping instead of doing his household chores. He wanted to pout but he feels different, something powerful that his mother's scolding didn't effect him, instead he get up and do all the chores with a smile on his face. He doesn't know why, he didn't really remember his dream, he just know that Tegoshi was there somewhere but he didn't remember what happen.

Monday. He stopped on the park and found the bench empty. He went home with a painful feeling on his chest and he didn't know if that was because of Tegoshi not being there or because his teacher scolded him for not listening and gave him an assignment to be passed tomorrow. He didn't know he was sighing, not until he heard someone speaks up "Tired?" and saw Koyama looking at him over the sofa. He was happy to see Koyama, really. But still he felt pain. Koyama talks about his life as a university student, his lover and his lover's sibling, how they get along well and how he spoiled his lover's brother. Masuda laughs, Koyama never change. And he bet this brother he is talking about is cute because Koyama has a soft spot for cute things. He even has a room of cute stuff toys, he said he can't help but buy them because he couldn't resist their cuteness. At least with Koyama's company, he forgot why he was sulking a while ago, but when the night comes and he remembers his assignment, he groans.

The next day, still the bench was empty, even the day after that, and the day after that. He finds it weird that he was so hurt of not seeing Tegoshi for four days straight, not even in the school. And he also finds it weird when his classmates stopped doing weird things to him, they said it's not fun when he was always not in the mood, they prepare a Masuda that would smile or laughs awkwardly afterwards not a Masuda that won't smile and always space out. They might not say it but they look at Masuda as a friend, Masuda was happy to know that they care for him though the way they are doing it is not so nice.

His week ended with no Tegoshi. No Tegoshi, no energy. No energy, no strength. "You look like a zombie." It was Koyama, smiling at him but there is something in his eyes--sadness. Masuda asked him what's wrong and he answered him with a laugh as he pressed a hand on his forehead. Masuda knows something happened so he went to the sofa and sat on the opposite of Koyama. It was about his lover, about his family moving to Paris. He was afraid that they couldn't see each other anymore and he would miss him very much if that would happen. He doesn't want to break up with him because he loves him so much. He loves him so much.. Masuda's thought drifted to Tegoshi and something hit him that he laughs nervously out of the blue, making the teary-eyed Koyama looks at him confusedly. He cleared his throat and glanced at Koyama, telling him to continue. Koyama continued speaking, saying he could have stopped him but he didn't, instead he ran away and that's how he came to Masuda's house. There was a knock on the door and Masuda hesitated to leave Koyama but he went to the door nevertheless. He didn't know the person who is standing in front of him, who said his name is Kato Shigeaki, but he looks so worried and asks about Kei, he figures he was the lover Koyama was talking about. He was about to call Koyama but stopped when he saw him standing, gaze locked on his lover. Kato told him that they should talk outside and Masuda agrees because his mother was in the kitchen at the moment, making dinner. He shouted that he would go out for a while and follows Koyama and Kato.

Kato stopped on the park and Masuda, do not want to hear or see whatever they would say or would do, continued walking till he reached his place behind the benches. It was already dark, that he didn't notice someone was on the other side of the tree. He sits and close his eyes. He jumps and almost shout when he stretched his hands above his head, encircling it to the not so big trunk of the tree, and touched something that he knows is not a part of the trunk. A person, a guy, and he knows he woke him up. He took a step backward, eyes locked on the tree, just in case this person is harmful. He stopped moving when he heard the man giggles, and somewhat the sound made him soft. And when he saw the man behind the tree completely, he smiles, and he had forgotten about Koyama or Kato or his hunger. Awkwardly, he said Hi and Tegoshi just continued smiling at him then he said something about Shige and Kei-chan is happy again.

Masuda's smile suddenly faded. He looked at Tegoshi who is looking at Koyama and Kato happily. This can't be happening. Is Tegoshi the brother Kei-chan was talking about? And someone answered him, Koyama calling Tegoshi over, leaving a shock Masuda. Koyama noticed Masuda's reaction and called him over too. Koyama asked him what's wrong but he couldn't find his voice. Tegoshi, staring at him with sad eyes added the painful feeling he is feeling at the moment. He is crushed. His heart is crushed. Koyama and Kato continued talking but Masuda was not listening to them anymore, his gaze locked at Tegoshi and Tegoshi's gaze locked at him. His brain was selecting the things that his ear can hear like "Tomorrow 10:00 am" and Koyama's "I won't be late" answer was stuck on his head and he didn't hear the rest of it. Koyama walked him home then, since they are neighbors, and when Koyama bid his goodbye and was smiling happily, he felt his heart is going to explode any moment. He hurriedly walked inside and told his mom he will eat later. He hastily opened his room and the moment the door was closed, tears run down his cheeks. It hurts so much, Tegoshi moving away.. he wished he didn't realize his love for Tegoshi. But then again, it would hurt more if he just realized it when Tegoshi's gone, right? He cried that night, cried until he had fallen asleep. When he woke up in the morning it was past 11 and he curses, feeling tears stinging his eyes again. He clenched his fist and punched his bed till he got tired. He could have seen him and say his goodbye for the last time or could have said his feelings but he missed it because he didn't wake up early. His last chance. What a waste.

When he woke up again, it was already afternoon and his mother just give him knowing looks. He was grateful with her though because she didn't ask him anything, he is sure if she asked something related to his broken heart, he would cry again. She just asked him to eat when Masuda headed to the door. He doesn't really have an appetite so he just smiled at her and told her later. He went out the house and just walk aimlessly. He was spacing out and the laughter of the children at the park pulled him back to reality. It is Saturday so it is normal for the park to be full with kids. He sighs, his feet dragged him here.. He looked at the bench where Tegoshi always sit, there's no Tegoshi there, instead a couple was sitting there. And unconsciously, he clumped his shirt, on the side of his chest where it hurts so much. He decided he should go home but when his eyes glanced at his spot behind the benches, at the tree, someone was sitting on the other side, he could clearly see a guitar case and a big notebook. He knows he shouldn't hope but before his brain could argue, his feet are already moving towards that direction.

"Oh, Hi Masuda-kun.." Tegoshi smiles at him, eyes sparkling as he put his guitar back to the case. And he was still talking but not even a single word was registered by Masuda's brain. Masuda felt his heart is going to explode again, this time with happiness. He let his body do the work since he couldn't find his voice, once again he is speechless. He encircled his arms around Tegoshi, shivering because of the tears that he didn't notice he was stopping. Tegoshi was surprised, Masuda holding him like this and crying so hard in his arms. He felt bad for Masuda, he didn't know what happened but he felt bad and angry.

After a long time, it seems like that but only 5 minutes had passed, Masuda pulled. He leaned back to the tree, giggling softly, one hand not letting go of Tegoshi, he didn't know he was this afraid, afraid that Tegoshi would be gone. "I'm sorry.. for crying and clinging like that." Tegoshi shook his head and gave him a reassuring smile. He squeezed Masuda's hand as he asked him what's wrong. "I felt so sad, so scared.. I felt so heartbroken.. It hurts so much.. It hurts." Masuda tried to speak normally but the tears and sobs made it impossible. Tegoshi took his clenched fist away from his chest. He didn't notice his hand was there. "You are hurting yourself, Masuda-kun.." Tegoshi took his hand and hold it firmly. "and you are crumpling your shirt.." Tegoshi said jokingly. He squeezed Masuda's both hands as he asked him another question. "What hurts? Why does it hurt?" and before he could tell Masuda that it's okay if he won't answer his question, he speaks, surprising him.

"You moving away. You leaving me behind. It hurts.. I was so sad and scared when I know you are the younger brother Kei-chan was talking about. I was so brokenhearted when I woke up late this morning. I was angry at myself for not saying anything to you last night. I was angry at myself for not waking up early this morning.. I thought I just wasted my last chance.. on seeing you for the last time.. on saying my true feelings to you.. on seeing you off with a smile.." Masuda glanced at Tegoshi and he tighten his grip on Tegoshi's hand. "I am not asking you to give me an answer. You are leaving.. I guess I misheard your flight for today." Masuda smiles faintly "I'm glad I came here.. I'm glad I saw you here.. I really did regret everything.. thinking of all the things that I could have done.. thinking of all the words that I should have said."

"Masuda-kun.."

"It's okay Tegoshi-kun. I'm okay with this.. I'm okay now that I finally said what I wanted to say.." Masuda closed his eyes. Tegoshi squeezed his hand, the same time as he asked him if he was sure he is okay. "No. I am not really okay but I can't be selfish. I have to send you off with a smile, not with a crying and in pain face. When are you leaving, by the way?" Masuda opened his eyes and looked at Tegoshi, he is looking at the sky and seems he space out again. Masuda just smiles and rested his head on the tree again. He squeezed Tegoshi's hand, trying to avert Tegoshi's attention to him, and he did. Tegoshi looked at him and smiles.

"I was looking at the sky worrying all my worries, when you came stumbling out of nowhere making me laugh and forget those worries. I find myself looking at each student in school, looking at a certain student with that kind of back and hair. I didn't see your face, your retreating back was my only lead. At last, I saw the person I was looking for, you were playing basketball, smiling and laughing even though they are picking on you. I felt bad for you but the way they treat you, is not that bad, they seem to care for you. They somehow reminded me of my former classmates and somehow I envy you for having friends like them. At school, I always look for you, I didn't know why, my only reason is I just want to see you. I tried to approach you but my feet won't walk towards you. I tried to compose and sing you a song, I tried to brainstorm and make you a poem. Frustration seems to visit me often. Anticipation seems to not work with me anymore. And then my mother told me we are leaving, her announcement frustrates me more. I didn't go to school for a week, half because of doing some preparation for my transfer and the other half was because I was trying to forget someone that I know I can't call my own. I like you, what a scary phrase. It makes you feel dizzy, out of breath, and those words could only be said with full courage. Those who do not have that kind of courage would break down directly. Isn't it scary? But it can be the total opposite to the other person. I like you, what a beautiful phrase. It makes your heart beats faster, it makes your body as light as a paper that you feel you can fly." He grab something on his guitar case and handed Masuda a small pig stuff toy "That time, you left it on the bushes. You pulled your bag hard that the chain broke, so I cut the broken chain and buy a new one so that you can still hang it on your bag."

"Tegoshi-kun.."

"I've been looking for a chance to give it back to you."

"Tegoshi-kun.. I"

"You were right Masuda-kun, but Shige managed to persuade my mother and his father this morning, saying that we would be okay here. Also, Kei-chan was present that time so they know I'm in good hands."

"Tegoshi-kun, you mean.."

"It'd be a hassle if I would transfer again, don't you think?"

"Tego-"

"And I like our school"

"Tego-"

"And the stude-"

Masuda moves, cupped his face and pressed his lips to his own. It didn't last long, only for three seconds, and when he pulled away, only a bit, he gazed into Tegoshi's surprised, wide eyes.

"You are not going to let me talk, are you?" Masuda softly said, his lips touching Tegoshi's lips in the process

"I.. I"

Masuda moved again, this time tilting his head deepening the kiss slowly and passionately. He put a hand behind Tegoshi's neck and another hand on Tegoshi's jaw, as he caress his cheek with his thumb, and Tegoshi put his hands to his sides, curling his fingers for support as they kiss each other passionately under the tree. A noise was heard and they jumped, Masuda hugging Tegoshi and Tegoshi hugging Masuda, a soccer ball over Tegoshi's guitar case. They looked up when they saw someone walking.
 

Masuda and Tegoshi looked at each other, their faces were too close that they shared another kiss before they get up. Masuda took the guitar case and hang it on his shoulder. He extended his other hand, and Tegoshi reached for it with a sweet smile.

Smiling and stealing glances with each other, they walked hand in hand under the twilight glow of the sky.