Massu's Blog

Entry No. ! ! ! ! ! !

 

That feeling when your special someone says something to everyone about a friend and that friend also says something as if he knows him very much. Jealousy. I am jealous. I am very jealous right now. So they are closer than us. I didn't even know that Tegoshi experienced something like that! I AM JEALOUS. Sorry for writing that in all capital letters. But really! I cannot get it out in my head! I am disturbed! AAH! You are at fault too Masuda. Just because the both of you are in the same company and in the same group and works together as a partner doesn't mean that you already know everything about him! That is because you expect that no one knows your partner other than you because you have been together for years!

So now, what is the point of writing this here?!

 I am writing this because I am angry. BECAUSE I AM JEALOUS. I CANNOT HELP MYSELF.
 

Sorry. I've been saying that since the beginning of this entry. But! Inhale and then exhale Masuda. Relax! Do not shout and do not curse. Your partner might hear you (he is just next door) and then would ask you what's wrong and then you might glare at him unintentionally and then he might glare back because he knows he didn't do something wrong and then he would get angry and then what will you do?!

 

You do not own him so you can't get angry at him just because of saying "He has his own world. I always catch him spacing out whenever I enter their room during lunch break. And I can easily tease Yabu because of that." THE HELL MASUDA?! You remembered that clearly?!

 

Yes, I still remember it clearly! Even Yabu's " Do you remember when the girls interchanged the signs of the toilet? The girls told me they are going to prank you when your birthday comes. " And he was stopped by Tegoshi. And if Yabu didn't say he rescued Tegoshi, I guess we (me, Kei-chan, Shige) all have the same scenario in mind. And then he talked more about Tegoshi.

 

I started to get jealous right there that my ears weren't listening to him anymore. Tegoshi seems to notice my sudden change of behavior because he leaned forward on the table (he was in front of me) and asked me if I am already sleepy. Kei-chan (who is sitting beside Tego) and Shige (who is sitting beside me) were still engrossed on Yabu's (who is beside Shige) storytelling!

 

Why does it has to be Tego who always notice my behavior?! I do not want to assume but BUT JUST LET ME ASSUME THAT HE CARES FOR ME BACK THERE, OKAY?!
 

Of course he cares for you! Because he and you works in the same company and because he is your partner at work and because he is also a member of NEWS team!

 

Wait, you are myself, why are you defying me?

 

AH!! I think I really need to sleep now. WAIT. I CAN'T SLEEP. Because I am still disturbed right now.

 

I want to go out and go to Tego's room. Hmmmm.. what excuse should I make?

 

Kei-chan and Shige's rooms are upstairs so Tego's room is the closer! And then? Hmmm.. what else... why would I go there? Because.. I just want to. Lame. Not an excuse. Because... just sleep, okay? sleep!

 

(- ____ -) good night.

2013-08-21 23:21:55

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A knock on the door increased Masuda's anger. He hates it when people disturbs him. He just told himself he is going to sleep and now someone is disturbing him. With a grumpy face, he walked towards the door.

If only he knew that it is him, he should have not wore a grumpy face.

"Oh, did I disturb you?" Tegoshi asked with a small smile

"Ah, n-no. Not really. What is- what- is there anything I can help you with?" He asked directly. Tegoshi won't knock on his door at 11 o'clock in the evening without a reason.

"Can I stay here for tonight Massu? I'll just sleep on the sofa. I tried the living room but it's just too cold. And Shige and Kei-chan are already asleep. I was about to go back to my room when you opened your door" he said

"Why?" Masuda asked, biting back a smile. On his mind, he wants Tegoshi to sleep with him on the bed. Oh please!

"Yabu is in my room and I offered my bed to him. I do not have my sofa in my room anymore, that's why."

 

"Yabu?" Masuda said as his brows narrowed, he didn't know he said it out loud if not for Tegoshi's words.

 

"He called and said he didn't catch his train. He was so tired that's why I offered my bed" Tegoshi who looks questioningly at Masuda, asked, "Did you guys fight?"

 

"Huh? Of course that's a no." he answered, faking a laugh. He opened the door and let him in. "You can sleep on my bed. Let me sleep on the sofa"

 

"But you do not wa-"

 

"I am fine with it." he said reluctantly. Okay maybe he doesn't want to sleep on the sofa but the thought of Tegoshi considering going back to his room to sleep with his high school friend makes him jealous more.

 

"Okay" Tegoshi said with a concerned face, then headed to the bed.

 

He watched Tegoshi climbed on his bed before he walked to the sofa. He shifted until he found a comfortable position then closed his eyes and sigh. When he remembered his phone, he instantly stands, making him dizzy. Seeing Tegoshi is already asleep, he approached the bed slowly. His bed is attached to the wall and his phone is located on that part of the bed which made his work difficult. He reconsider on not disturbing Tegoshi but what he just write on his blog is preventing him to do so.

Masuda stretched out his arm carefully as it passed through Tegoshi's chest while the other one is placed on the headboard, supporting him. He is so engaged on getting his phone that he didn't notice the big brown eyes looking at him. He successfully reached his phone and let out a grunt, beads of sweat forming on his forehead because of his effort on not making a noise and on not touching the bed . He almost jump when a hand touched his forehead.

"Tegoshi" he exhaled his name as he sat on the bed. "You scared me."

"Sorry" he said as he sits up, biting his lips to stifle a laugh.

"Sorry for waking you up. I was trying to get this" Masuda lift his hand for Tegoshi to see.

"I wasn't sleeping. You are too focused on getting your phone that you didn't notice me staring." he grins

Masuda can feel his face is getting hot under the amount of Tegoshi's stare and smile (okay he admit he is exaggerating) so he decided to stand. "We should sleep now, we still have work tomorrow." he said, silently thanking his own self for saying that without stuttering.

"You have work tomorrow. I request for a day-off so I am free tomorrow. Good night Massu." Tegoshi said, waving at Masuda.

"Eh? Day-off? So I am going to work alone tomorrow?"

"No, you are not alone." he laugh softly "As far as I know, it's just me who requested for a day-off, so you still have Kei-chan and Shige. My high school friends scheduled a reunion and that is tomorrow, Yabu came here to remind me, ah no, to get me. I haven't been able to attend even once so I thought why not."

"I am jealous with your senior-junior relationship." It was already said and done before his mind registered everything. He turned to look at Tegoshi. He is ready to say sorry, to take it all back, but stopped when Tegoshi laughed at him. "What?"

"Sorry" Tegoshi cleared his throat to stop his laughter "You are being unreasonable, Massu."

It struck him. Tegoshi is right. He got angry at himself right then, because he felt is heart just broke. "Yeah, right. Sorry." he said it and he knows Tegoshi saw through it, that he got hurt with his words. He turned his back and started walking to hide his face from Tegoshi.

"Massu, wait! Did I say something wrong?"

"No, you didn't. Good night Tegoshi" he surprised himself when he said it coldly. He didn't mean it. He wants to look and smile at Tegoshi and said it all over again but he didn't.

He went back to the sofa and closed his eyes. Eventually, he started counting sheep just to fall asleep but still he couldn't fall asleep. When he opened his eyes once, he saw Tegoshi's face. He mentally hit himself for thinking too much of Tegoshi. He thought of going to the living room, maybe he should sleep there. He opened his eyes and saw a pair of eyes looking at him.

"You are mad, Massu. I can tell" Tegoshi started, he is sitting on the floor, gazing at him. He watched as Masuda's eyes grew wide when he leaned forward (a bit). "What's wrong? Tell me. You are not usually like this."

"I..." he said, staring back at him.

Maybe it was because of his eyes, the way he looked at him. Or maybe it was because his breath is tickling his lips. Or maybe it was because of his lips that looks so soft. There are many possibilities but he couldn't point out which one made him do it.

His hand found the back of Tegoshi's neck and pulled him on a kiss. A muffled shock noise from Tegoshi resonated on his lips. They stayed like that, lips over lips, not moving at all. Until Masuda run his fingers on Tegoshi's hair. When he feel Tegoshi soften in front of him, he started moving his lips. Tegoshi didn't respond, making Masuda's stomach twitched in different directions. He wanted to stop then, say sorry and run away but he didn't, not when he felt a hand on his cheek, not when Tegoshi started responding.

The lips over lips kiss started to change. Once when Masuda tried to lift himself up with his free hand, it slipped making him fall to the floor with Tegoshi pinned on his back. They stopped kissing then. Instead they both stare at each other. They both hold each others gazes.

Tegoshi put his hand on Masuda's back and asked softly "Massu?"

He was thinking of explaining things to Tegoshi. But instead of explaining, he kissed him again. It's not the lips over lips kissed anymore. He Tegoshi's lips and pushed his tongue inside his mouth. There Tegoshi meets his tongue.

 

Tegoshi is not that blind to connect everything. He already knows the reason behind Masuda's change of behavior. And when they break apart, he said "There's no reason to be jealous, Massu" and smiles, pulling Masuda for a breathtaking kiss.