Part 1 - Chapter 2
I Wanna Love2
Shinhwa was heaving, a hundred bodies on the dance floor of this level alone. Upstairs in the other two rooms would be even more people but Niel liked the bar and the 80's fusion music of the lower floor. He watched Byunghun and Chanhee grow progressively drunker and closer.
Something had happened between his best friends lately, they were distant and cold whenever he was around. The two of them had avoided his straight on question that night but he couldn't help but feel perhaps he was the reason they seemed to be drifting. Niel refused to let himself remember the real reason they were out, focusing on his friends’ problems rather than his own.
The two joined him at the bar, laughing and holding hands.
"I want a cigarette!" Chanhee whined loudly.
"No!" Byunghun laughed.
"Please!?" Chanhee clasped his hands together in a begging motion.
"No!" Byunghun and Niel chorused.
"They're bad for you!" Niel yelled over the noise.
"And they make you stink." Byunghun added.
"I want a cigarette!"
"Let's dance instead!" Niel suggested, motioning for all three to take their shot.
With the alcohol down they sidled through the crowd and into the crush. Chanhee immediately took Byunghun's waist into his hands and pressed their bodies together. Niel smiled, turning to dance by himself. A guy approached him, a bit of a sleazy look in his eyes but Niel simply smiled and shook his head. "I'm straight." He mouthed politely before sliding backwards to be closer to Byunghun and Chanhee. The approaching man shrugged and moved away.
Suddenly, a memory pulsed into Niel's mind:
Niel felt he had lost his mind long ago. He was now just sensations and music. Rhythm and touch. Without his mind to tell him otherwise he turned and began to passionately kiss the man whose name he didn't even know.
A physical shudder resounded through Niel. He cringed at the memory. At the memory or the mixture of pleasure and shame? He fought his way out of the dance floor and rushed to the bar. He would drink until he forgot how to feel.
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Changhyun was more than a little drunk. Honestly, he was wrecked. He had lost track of Lola and the group from the cafe a while ago, content to just dance and drink on his own.
A tall, Caucasian had his hands all over his body and Changhyun let him. It felt amazing to be actually touched for once, desired and appreciated. They had been grinding against one another for a while now; the statuesque guy took Changhyun's hand and began to pull him away from the dancefloor, pausing to kiss him messily.
For a moment Changhyun hesitated. The man tugged him forward a little impatiently, he stumbled a little. Suddenly, with the loss of balance Changhyun's stomach rolled.
Uh oh.
Changhyun pulled back, he needed the bathroom. His companion turned, a frustrated scowl on his face.
“Don't be a ing tease!” He shouted, misunderstanding Changhyun's reluctance.
All Changhyun could do was shake his head in apology and flee.
Moments later he was bent double over a toilet bowl, watching almost 100 dollars of alcohol leave his system.
“.” He groaned at the loss of both his statuesque companion and the alcohol.
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Byunghun pressed himself closer to Chanhee, burying his face in his boyfriend’s neck. For the first time in weeks he felt light and free. He knew it was the alcohol but he didn't care. He was just happy that for a few hours he felt normal again.
They moved in time with the rhythm, lost in their own world like they used to be all the time. Every time dark thoughts tried to close in Byunghun would press himself against Chanhee and ignore anything but the feel of their bodies pressed together.
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Jonghyun leant against the sink preening his hair into place
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