TRIGGER WARNING: MENTION OF ABUSE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN THIS CHAPTER

10

“The way you make me fe-eel!” Niel grooved along to the song in his apartment. Dancing in the kitchenette and collecting his dirty laundry from the floor. He spun like Michael Jackson himself before continuing on into the bedroom to bring the laundry out.

He hadn’t felt like dancing in the last few months but since the conversation with Jilly in the park, Niel was healed.

“Jilly?” Niel asked, shocked.

“Hey there.” She smiled, seeming embarrassed about calling out. Niel abandoned the path that led back down to the edge of the water and went to where her blanket was spread on the grass.

“Hi.” He said awkwardly.

“How are you? How have you been?” She asked.

Niel shrugged. Jilly smiled.

“Yeah, me too.” She said. After a beat she spoke again, “Hey, Niel, I just wanted to say I’m sorry we didn’t talk about it more. You were right that day when you called. We should have talked about it.”

“Yeah,” He nodded, “But we probably needed more time apart too.”

She nodded with him.

“Are you happy?” She asked.

“I’m getting there. Are you?”

“I’m getting there too.” They lapsed into a silence. “Can I be really honest?” She spoke once more.

Niel nodded.

“I didn’t realise how unhappy we were. Until we took that break, I had no idea how crap our relationship had gotten. It was really the best thing for us.” She laughed a little.

“I’m sorry about that.” He apologised.

“Don’t be. Like I said, we were so unhappy. I feel better now.”

“Me too.” He nodded, “Jilly… Thanks, I guess, for being brave enough to leave me. I mean, for waking us up. I just… Thanks.”

Jilly smiled at him.

“You’re silly Daniel. But you’re welcome.” She swung from side to side childishly.

“I should go. It was actually really good to see you.” Niel said honestly.

“You too.” She smiled. She sat back down on her rug.

“Bye Jilly.” He smiled, giving a little wave.

“Bye Daniel.” She waved back with a smile.

With the book finally closed on their relationship Niel no longer felt like wandering. He turned away from Jilly and made his way back towards the bus stop.

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Changhyun was dozing between Jonghyun’s legs on the couch. He was sprawled comfortably in the V that Jonghyun’s legs made, his head on Jong’s chest. There was a movie playing but Changhyun was too lost in his nap and love-drunk content to know what it was.

Jonghyun hadn’t left for a few days now. After Wednesday night they were even more inseparable. Thursday had skated by without Changhyun really noticing, he was far too happy to even be scared about Evan showing up. Now it was Sunday afternoon he was comfortable in the knowledge that his ex would probably be long gone and he had an amazing new boyfriend.

Beneath the noise of the TV was an odd clicking noise. Changhyun felt Jong shift beneath him, trying to track the source of the noise. Changhyun whined a little at being disturbed. A moment later the front door swung open and a man sauntered in.

He was wearing a stylish suit, a yellow-gold pinkie ring and a little too much gel in his hair.

Changhyun sat up violently, completely thrown from his doze. His stomach turned sickeningly and he felt himself go pale.

“Evan?”

Fear surged through his body and he jumped to his feet, ready to flee but held in place. His stomach rolled again and he looked at the floor rather than at Evan.

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Byunghun was shooting baskets again. Things with Chanhee had reached a strange limbo. Chanhee was sweet, caring and attentive but he didn’t push Byunghun to talk or react. On Wednesday night when Chanhee had gotten drunk and taken Byunghun to dinner they had gone home and made love. It had been the first time in weeks they had done it. For some weird reason, afterwards Byunghun had felt like crying. He was wrapped up in Chanhee’s arms, listening to him breathe evenly with sleep, and the overwhelming sensation to cry had hit Byunghun.

He hadn’t cried in years. Not when his mother and step-father had kicked him out. Not when his father had been arrested after the years of abuse. Not when he was 7 and his arm was broken. But there, in the safety of his own bed and lover’s arms, he felt tears welling in his eyes and spill out over his nose to the mattress.

He didn’t know what to do. He sniffed slightly, trying not to wake Chanhee. Waiting and willing the tears to stop. Chanhee was already awake though, propping himself onto an elbow and leaning over Byunghun in concern.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Honey? Are you crying?” Chanhee’s voice had been soft and caring. Byunghun felt more emotion welling up as he heard Chanhee’s voice. More tears tracked over his face and he was wracked with a sob. He looked up at Chanhee in confusion, what was this? What did people do when this happened? He was lost in all the emotion he felt.

With a resolved look in his eye Chanhee simply pulled Byunghun to his chest and rocked him slightly. Byunghun had lost it then, weeping uncontrollably into Chanhee’s soft pyjama shirt. When the tears had