Part 3 - Chapter 17

I Wanna Love
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17

Niel was back at work, coughing every now and then but generally over the worst of the sickness. After his fever had broken Monday night he felt better. Just a niggling cough was left over now. He strolled through his department, eagle-eyes out for a customer. As he watched for one he thought about Chanhee and Byunghun.

Engaged. Together forever. Wow. He thought, wringing his hands and sighing.

They were finally back on steady ground, and what did Niel have? Nothing but a drunk memory and a crazy idea. He tried to tell himself he wasn’t jealous. He was wrong. He was dying of jealousy. His sweet soul was twisted and terrorised by jealousy.

For years, he had suppressed the envy. He had known them both so long that he knew they were best friends, but the connection between Byunghun and Chanhee had always been on another level. Even back in middle school when they were still “just friends”. Byunghun had loved Chanhee and tolerated Niel. He often treated Niel with disdain and was overly possessive of Chanhee. It wasn’t until Chanhee had been absent and something had happened between Niel and Byunghun that Niel finally realised that Byunghun did actually care about him.

Niel was standing by his locker, completely soaked down his front. It dripped from his hair and blazer into a puddle on the floor. A circle of other kids laughed loudly at him, one held a now-empty bucket.

“Everyone knows fish need water!” One of the girls called, causing the rest to giggle.

Niel stared at them all. It was ok, he could deal with water. Water dried. It was snowing outside but that’s ok he could wait until he dried before he went home. He was trying to wait out their attention span when a boy that often teased Niel appeared beside him. Without warning Niel’s vision turned white. Or rather, Niel turned white. A cloud of flour floated over him and settled into his saturated clothes and hair. He held in his anger, biting his floury lip fiercely. If he reacted they would just become worse.

He was chanting it over and over in his mind when Byunghun appeared.

“Who did it?!” He yelled, his voice sounded like thunder.

The group of students laughing at Niel shrunk away from this short sunbae.

“Who did this?!” Byunghun yelled again.

The leader of the pathetic pack sauntered forward.

“I did,” He admitted.

Byunghun moved before anyone knew what was happening. The leader doubled over, clutching his stomach and groaning.

“Hey!”

“You can’t do that!” One of the girls cried.

“I just did. Get lost. Or the rest of you will be the same way.” Byunghun snapped, easily intimidating to the other students. The few that were left scattered, deciding they would rather go home than see if Byunghun was bluffing.

“Are you ok, Niel?” Byunghun said in a quiet voice when the last of them had dispersed.

Niel nodded mutely. Stunned by the fact that, of all people, Lee Byunghun had defended him.

“Come on. Chan keeps a sport uniform in his locker sometimes.” Byunghun motioned for Niel to follow him.

“You actually like me?” Niel asked, still standing in his goopy puddle.

Byunghun shrugged, “Yeah, I do. Now hurry up.”

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Changhyun poked his head out of his office door, the entryway was empty of people except the Chinese receptionist at her desk. She looked up when he gave a surreptitious “psst!”

“Are you free?” He said quietly.

She glanced around the empty space and nodded.

“Now?” She asked.

Changhyun smiled.

“Now or never,” He beckoned her into the next room, his office.

The receptionist, Ivy, stood up, straightened her pencil-skirt and followed him. They moved straight through Changhyun’s office and into Mr Worthington’s.

“Are you sure about this?” Ivy asked, nervously smoothing her blouse.

“Relax, Ivy. It’s no big deal. I do this every time he goes away.”

“Yeah, but you’ve never done it with me before. I’m new to this.”

“It’ll be great. I promise.”

“Ok.” She nodded and took a deep breath, “I’m ready.”

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Byunghun watched Jonghyun froth the milk for his flat white. He had to admit Jonghyun had talent for coffee making. The younger’s brow was creased with concentration as he tried to get the milk to swirl and whip into a silky texture.

“There. Hear that? That’s the sound you want for a flat white.” Byunghun instructed, the milk sounded like paper tearing as it swirled. Jonghyun nodded, not taking his eyes off the task.

“Hey, Jonghyun?” Byunghun said casually, leaning by the machine as he supervised. “Thanks. For the other day. You actually… uh… you actually helped a lot. I’ll get Chan to come by and apologise to you.”

“So you two worked things out?” Jonghyun flicked the steamer off and examined his milk with a frown. “Is this right?” He asked.

Byunghun peered into the jug. “Almost. You’re getting better. How’s the temperature?”

Jonghyun shrugged. Byunghun sighed and took the jug.

“And yes. We worked everything out. He uh… he actually proposed.” Byunghun still felt a thrill of happiness when he told people.

“Aww! Really, sunbae? That’s cute.” Jonghyun clapped him on the shoulder in joy, “And just remember I’m the cause! I fixed everything between you two!” He crowed.

Byunghun scowled at him.

“Yeah, well, your milk is burnt so don’t get too cocky.”

Jonghyun frowned, “No way!” He protested taking the jug back and pouring it into the coffee shot. He immediately tasted it.

“Ugh. This is burnt. Damn.”

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Byunghun chuckled at him. Jonghyun laughed too. It was a little odd to see his sunbae be so free and easy around him. The brusque persona had finally begun to fall away and Jonghyun could see why the others in the café tolerated him.

“You wanna try again?” Byunghun asked him.

“I dunno. Maybe I just can’t do this stuff. Add it to the list of ‘Tried and Failed’” Jonghyun admitted with a sigh. He felt as though none of the coffees he had made so far measured up to any of the other barista’s standards. Byunghun stared at him.

“Jonghyun. Don’t be ridiculous. Being a barista takes practice. You’ve only been learning a week. And honestly, I don’t usually let people even touch the machine before the end of the first week.” Byunghun crossed his arms and scowled, “You’re doing fine.”

The compliment and posture were so at odds that Jonghyun had to laugh.

“What?” His sunbae demanded.

“It just… it looked like someone pulled your tooth out to get you to say that.” Jonghyun chuckled again.

“I’m not good at touchy-feely crap.” Byunghun shrugged. “And you’d better take the compliment, I don’t give many of those.”

“Thanks, sunbae, I appreciate it.” Jonghyun nodded, serious now.

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Chanhee whiled away the end of his shift on the computer, reading maintenance requests and reports. Occasionally forwarding ones that needed more than one manager to sign them off. There was a knock on the door and it opened. He turned to find Steven half in the door, a scared look in his eyes.

“You, uh, you wanted to see me today?” Steven asked. It was supposed to be his day off but Chanhee had organised him to come in.

“I did. Come on in.” Chanhee gave him a bright smile. “I wanted to thank you for swapping that shift with me the other day.”

“Oh. It was no problem. I mean, I probably owe you way more than just a swapped shift…” Steven rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

Chanhee smiled.

“Anyway, I thought I might pay you back for helping me out.” Chanhee continued, sweeping to his feet easily.

“Uh?”

A third man entered the office abruptly. A whirlwind of activity as he yammered into a phone and tried to remove his overcoat at the same time. He waved distractedly to the other managers, still speaking rapid Japanese.

“Oh, good, Sakurai is here.” Chanhee smiled, helping the newcomer out of his coat before extracting his own from the cupboard in the corner. “We can go.”

“Go where, Troy?” Steven was glancing from Chanhee to the newly arrived night-manager and back again.

“Suit shopping. I can’t stand it any longer.” Chanhee replied brightly.

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Minsu was on autopilot as he worked. His thoughts were tangled up in a knot.

Maybe Raz was right. Maybe he should think about dating. It had been forever. He was chasing the memory of a dream. But the other half of his brain, that seemed to be hardwired to his heart, stormed in and demanded he not give up. He had to keep searching. He was out there somewhere, somewhere close. Minsu’s heart knew it.

It was crazy. He would think about dating again, maybe trying to form a connection with a real person would help him forget his foolish quest. It wasn’t as though he was scarred from the last time he’d dated. His previous lover had been a woman; a tiny thing with tattoos all down her arms and back. Her name was Felicity. She had run away to Hong Kong too, trying to escape a mountain of responsibility in her everyday life. They had clicked instantly, both alternative, both tired of society and its expectations. But when her responsibilities had followed her to the island a year later Felicity had no choice but to break off their relationship and return home.

Minsu had been disappointed. He missed her some days, when he saw places they had been together, places they had made memories. He never thought about chasing her or trying to maintain the relationship across the distance though. They both knew their time had come to an end. It was peaceful.

Now he felt anything but peaceful. He wanted to return to normal. He wanted to feel peaceful again. This constant hammering in his chest to seek was wearing him down. He either needed to forget his little fish or find him. Soon.

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Niel sighed, they had come a long way from middle school. His jealousy would pass. It always did. He would find the person he was looking for. The crazy energy in his heart affirmed it for him. He was on the right path now. Maybe life wasn’t as kind as it was to Byunghun and Chanhee. It hadn’t placed his Someone right in front of him, but Niel knew that he was destined to find him. He believed in soul mates. And he was sure he had found his that night.

When I find him again I’ll never let him go, Niel promised himself. Chanhee didn’t give up on Byunghun, and I won’t give up either.

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Changhyun nodded to Ivy and they descended on the desk. Quickly forming two piles of messy paperwork, one for each of them to sort. Changhyun then opened the drawers and began extracting more piles of paper, this time messy handwritten notes on notebook pages than had been torn from a variety of different books. He stacked these on top of his pile from the surface of the desk before opening the next drawer down. It was scattered with chocolate wrappers. He growled and threw them all into the bin beside the desk. Ivy looked over from her own drawer on the other side of the desk.

“Oh my goodness!” She exclaimed, watching Changhyun empty the drawer of wrappers.

“He’s worse than a kid, I swear.” Changhyun shook his head.

When his drawer was empty, he moved onto the last one. It was neat, piles of manila folders were stacked in it. Changhyun pulled the neat pile out and scanned the names on the sides. He sighed heavily.

“He hasn’t touched these since the last time I did this.” He told Ivy.

“When was that?” She asked, removing piles of business cards from her second drawer.

“Uh, 4 or 5 months ago I think.” Changhyun shrugged. How did his boss accumulate this much mess in 4 or 5 months? And how did it not drive him crazy?

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Byunghun nodded to Jonghyun before busying himself with washing the milk jug. He had to admit, he liked Jonghyun. He was a good guy, easy going and kind. But it would be a while before Byunghun admitted that to him too.

“Hey, sunbae?” Jonghyun said, wiping down the machine as Byunghun usually did.

“Yeah?”

“How did you end up working here?” Jonghyun was looking at him curiously. “Lola says you’re a stray too. And that we’re all family here. And I was just wondering…”

“Lola says a lot of things.” Byunghun snapped in reply, he didn’t particularly feel like telling that story.

“Sorry. I mean, I was just wondering. It doesn’t matter really.”

“Mm.” Byunghun scanned the café, there was nothing else to be doing so he began cleaning a little.

“I came here kind of on a whim.” Jonghyun said, scrubbing down the chrome face of the machine now. “I’m staying with my friend Minsu, he invited me over. I wasn’t going to come but in Korea I was just living this big lie, you know? Lying about being gay and stuff. My parents are ok, not super cool though. I thought some time apart would probably be the best thing.”

“Did they kick you out?” Byunghun felt as though his heart was being squeezed through a tube.

“Hmm, not really. But they didn’t want me around anymore. I think it was too much for them to process.”

“Mm.” Byungh

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JooHunnit
#1
Chapter 27: This...this was one of the best things i have ever read
Really amazing writing, superb plot- placement and everything was perfect. I loved every character and....it was really spectacular.
IHaveRuinedMyLife
#2
Chapter 27: WOW! Just wow! It's been so long since I read a great, chaptered Teen Top fic, that I almost forgot that this is what I'm living for ㅋㅋ it's just that people don't seem to write them anymore... which is too sad ㅠㅠ
But it also means that I'm incredibly thankful you wrote this story!! I loved it so so so so much!! I'd even go so far, saying it is the best Teen Top fic I've read in... probably two years. I loved your way of describing the characters and the dynamics of each couple. ChangRick was SO ADORABLE in here~~ and ChunJoe were so bittersweet at first and perfect towards the end ♡ as for N.A.P.... it actually drove me crazy ㅋㅋ the moment Minsoo stood Niel up I was literally screaming at my phone ㅋㅋ but it also turned out to be so cute and fluffy and just the right amount of sap xD
so yeah... thumbs up for this!!! thank you so much for sharing~~ (and please continue writing Teen Top fics!! I sometimes feel like I'm the only person with an ongoing Teen Top fic that nobody even reads... it's sad... we need more Teen Top again~~)
chunjixbyungie
#3
Chapter 27: Do i have one ? Rofl . Byunghun can be hilarious sometimes ! I really liked the staring part and the whole what are you staring at.. Why ..because i like them .
Byunghun blushing and playing with the carpet too . very natural ~ he actually confessed first ! How surprising ! It was funny when chanhee said bec you are my best friend lol i bet Byunghun felt his stomach drop . That aside though , I get why he got angry the first time . i mean .. I may too with chanhee laughing in such situation . but the second time i was like .. does he have split personality ?
What angered him in " you better get used to it "?
The part where chanhee thought the doubts would come back but he'd be there to chase them off was so sweet and perfect as a closure ! Really liked it .
And of course we can't forget niel's part . so enjoyable and so funny * thumbs up *
chunjixbyungie
#4
Chapter 26: your brain is fantastically bad at sticking to one project and mine is that way with procrastination , which explains why I just got to read this NOW . I have no word to describe how fluffy and adorable ( Chanhee calling Byung a marshmallow is seriously the best thing ever ) this was ( realistic too ) Byunghun's thoughts about niel having everything he himself lacks and still being scared , unsure of himself .
it's ironic how someone may seem to lead a happy life when they are in fact being bullied .
I'll see you in about four months when i stop being lazy and finally read the next ch .
Dotoriji
#5
Chapter 27: My hearttttt is melting!!! This confession honestly explains so much more why Byunghun was the way that he was throughout the story... his doubts and insecurities. I love how Byunghun was the first to confess and say “I love you” but chanhee was the one to reassure him and really be there to chase Byunghun’s doubts away. Ahhh they’re just perfect for each other <3
Dotoriji
#6
Chapter 26: This is so sweet!!! Ahhhh I love this friendship T^T
Papoufruits
#7
Chapter 25: It felt a little sad that it's completed, though I'm really GLAD it is in a way too, haha. Unfinished fanfics are the worst sometimes... anyway, I love the theme of this story and how you wanted to include everyone's point of view. It kept the interest going.

As a suggestion, I'd love to read more about Byunghun and Chanhee's story when they were younger and how their relationship developed (maybe that's what you meant with "Byunghun's confession story"?). Thank you for this lovely story and can't wait to read more from you! <3
chunjixbyungie
#8
Chapter 25: Waah... Such a sweet ,satisfying ending ~
I enjoyed every moment of it !
Happiness was practically radiating from everyone . Minsoo's thoughts were so heartwarming along with Niel's of course whereas Jonghyun and Changhyun were so cute ~
Byunghun and chanhee ... Well the part when bh thought 11 years hadn't changed anything and not an even eternity will . * squeals *
It's awesome how you managed in just 25 chapters to write a story that's not rushed and not slow-paced either . It was perfect .
Thank you for sharing it with us !
<3
Dotoriji
#9
Chapter 25: I am so emotional omg I can't believe it's finished ㅜㅜ
The ending is perfect they're all together and happy...
I don't even know where to begin how to describe how much I enjoyed reading this story and just looking forward to the updates every week ahh I'm going to miss it
Thank you for making the ending so wonderful ㅜㅜ
Chanhee & byunghuns long strong relationship... it's like I can feel the love through the screen;; it's just so precious;; I definitely would love to read about byunghun's confession! (oh and if you're taking requests maybe about their first time?? askfkskdk)
Okay and Changhyun and Jonghyun can they be anymore cute?!? Throughout the whole story they were just so into each other and ugh the best. Now they both have rings to propose to each other! I wonder how that'll turn out lol
Niel being so happy for his best friends and minsu being happy for his new younger brothers made me so emotional ㅜㅜ those two are the perfect match and just so attached to each other seeing them so in love is so heartwarming like they finally found the one they've been looking for their whole lives~

Thank you again for writing this wonderful story!
I enjoyed it so much and I'll definitely be coming back to re-read it~!! <3
lazyfaceu #10
Chapter 25: i'm crying oh my god i screamed when i saw the "completed" status on this book