It was something I wouldn’t dare to tell anyone.

But I want to thank you, for loving me still.

Patiently waiting for me, as I picked up these broken pieces of me.

 

Lisa stared ahead, her posture straight, with eyes solely focused to her teacher.

 

Outwardly perceived as that good shoed student, though, she’s nowhere near that. That for the last couple of hours, she’s having difficulty on understanding anything that their teacher has been discussing, her mind far from the topic at hand.

 

She leans and rests an elbow on her desk before cupping her chin with a hand. Her vacated eyes only seem to gleam in that abandoned hope of catching up on what chapter they must’ve been, but still, she tries to comprehend the timeline of historic events that’s written on the board.

 

She met her teacher’s eyes, and she could only blink back at her.

 

Funny. She seemed to stop from her discussion, Lisa thought at that moment.

 

Their teacher crossed her arms, outwardly displeased, and leveled her gaze to Lisa.

 

It’s when their teacher’s eyes didn’t part from her, and hearing that hushed voices of her classmates, that Lisa knew something was amiss. She tore her gaze away from their teacher and caught the cues of her classmates upfront, to stand for a recitation and to answer the question asked, which she swore, she didn’t even hear.

 

Lisa stood straight in an instant.

 

“Ms. Manoban?” Her teacher called out, her foot tapping impatiently.

 

Lisa responded in haste, her heart pacing like a nerve wreck.

 

“M-mam?”

 

“The answer?” Her teacher demanded, fuming now. Lisa could only guess the times her teacher must’ve repeated her question.

 

What answer?

 

Of course, out of all the days to be called out for a recitation, her luck decided for this specific day. In which, one, she was listening to discussion but fails to retain any information about the subject, and two, she’d forgotten to buy and replace the History book she’d lost.

 

She looks down to her desk, only seconds before being rendered upon a judgement.  

 

“476 A.D.”

 

Her ears registered a whisper from her side.

 

Lisa steered her look back to her teacher, her expression stern, veiling from being obvious and trusts the voice without a hint of hesitance.

 

Not missing a beat, Lisa uttered back to her teacher.

 

“476 A.D.”

 

“That’s correct.” Their teacher nodded.

 

But with suspicion clear on her eyes, she raises another question.

 

“And because it’s a time of war, ignorance, famine and pandemics such as the Black Death, what’s its other name or popularly known for?”

 

“Dark Ages.”

 

The voice whispered once more.

 

Lisa immediately took note of its context as she recites in detail.

 

“That era is also called as the ‘Dark Ages’ of humanity.”

 

Their teacher eyed her for a few seconds, seemingly in thought of questioning her more, but chose to let her off the hook with a nod. She turns and drew the class’ attention once more, tramping back to their discussion.

 

Lisa sat and releases the breath she’s been holding. She ducks her head and whispers back to her girlfriend, her eyes not meeting Jennie’s.

 

“T-thank you.”

 

Jennie whispers back.

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

And as the time flits by, the loud ringing of the bell signaled the end of their last class. Their teacher wrapped up the discussion and pointed out some important points of the topic before dismissing them.

 

“Here.”

 

Somewhat cooped with distraction, Lisa blinked back as she perceives a book being slid to her desk. She turns to Jennie and raises a hand in dissent.

 

“Ah. No! I don’t need this. I plan to buy one later.”

 

“I want you to have it.” Jennie replied, insisting.

 

“Oh. O-okay then.” Lisa complied in a stutter.

 

Her heart beating in perturbation, tramping to her that she doesn’t know what to say or what to react in front of her girlfriend.

 

Jennie nodded before asking.

 

“Cool. You got work, right?”

 

Not waiting for a reply, her girlfriend stood and headed to the exit.

 

“I’ll see you, Lis.”

 

The image of Jennie walking away was a sight she doesn’t want to see. She was confused, yes, but she couldn’t let this growing distance get in between them.

 

“Jennie. Wait.”

 

Her girlfriend paused and turns to her. 

 

Lisa stood, her knuckles pressed against her desk, stilling it from shaking. She clears out , hoping for her voice not to break this time. 

 

“Would you like…”

 

Lisa blanked out, bearing that she had nothing in mind, but was compelled to utter it, anything to halt her girlfriend from walking away.  

 

Jennie tilts her head to the side, waiting for Lisa to complete her own sentence.

 

“Would you like to have some coffee?” Lisa asked, voicing out the first thought that came into her mind.

 

Any excuse, really, just to be with Jennie.

 

Lisa closes her eyes, mentally chastising herself for not coming up with a better excuse.

 

“How about work?” Jennie asked.

 

Lisa met Jennie’s questioning gaze.

 

“It’s my day off.”

 

She lied of course, but it can be easily resolved with a text to her co-worker, asking for a change in their shifts. And it instantly paid off. Her heart thumping back into that fast beating as she saw how Jennie lighted up with a gummy smile.

 

“I’d love one.”

 

 

They took a bus that would go uphill from their school.

 

The place was famed not only for its desserts and coffee, but also for its location. A height that overviews the city itself, sighting the early sunrise of the sun, up to its amber glow of sunset. And just as it plunges into the dark, it’ll be illuminated by the city lights, riveting the night with its own glow.

 

It’s the coffee shop that Lisa would always go to whenever she had a free time.

 

It was her own place of solitude.

 

Her own escape from reality.

 

And it’s where she’ll be always inspired to create her art.

 

It’s where she could be free.

 

Unbounded from the restrictions placed into her.

 

Liberated to create anything.

 

Sketching the images which her mind would come up with.

 

From towers, bridges, and castles, to ceramics, portraits and abstracts.

 

It’s a confinement she’d always wanted for herself.

 

So, who would’ve knew?

 

That she’s willing to share it.

 

Knowingly, letting Jennie into her space of comfort.

 

The sweet waft of blended coffee hit their senses as they’ve pushed the door open, welcoming them with its aroma. Its expansive windows exhibited the clear view of the bustling city, a parallel that’s far from its cozy vibe, all with its dimmed lighting and the smooth sound of jazz being played from the background.

 

Lisa led Jennie to her own spot just near the windows.

 

Taking their seats, she asked.

 

“Anything you want? My treat.”

 

Jennie didn’t look up for the menu as she replies, smiling.

 

“I’ll have what you’ll have.”

 

Lisa nodded back and walked towards the counter.

 

Being that regular customer, the barista raised a brow at her, expertly guessing her own order.

 

“Capuccino and Blueberry Muffins?”

 

“For two, please.” Lisa nodded back with a smile.  

 

The barista inputted her order at the computer before handing out her receipt. Lisa slid back to her chair while she waits for their order. Jennie’s gaze was darted afar, overlooking through the windows. Lisa shifts her look outside, mimicking her.

 

“This is where I would often draw.” Lisa imparted.

 

“I remember.” Jennie nodded, adding. “You want to be an architect, right?”

 

Lisa shot her eyes at her girlfriend, embarrassed at her now-not-so-secret dream.

 

“I told you that?!”

 

Jennie faced her, teasingly clicking her tongue at her.

 

“You growing old, babe?”

 

“I did not…I swear.” Lisa uttered with a shake of her head, justifying herself as she tries to recollect the day she’d shared that information with Jennie.

 

“You did.” Jennie chuckled.

 

Lisa watched as her girlfriend leans in, her arms crossed against their table, and broke into that wide playful grin.

 

“Remember when you cried cutely at the park?”

 

 

It was an afternoon filled with coffee and desserts, but it mostly consisted a discussion – a debate, even – regarding the field of Art.

 

They’ve traveled back to the Renaissance.

 

Conferring about its famous artists, their paintings and the ideals of the people at the time. About everything, really. From their own opinion about its politics up to their leisure activities during its time. 

 

“So who will you choose then?” Lisa questioned out of curiosity. “Da Vinci? Michelangelo? Raphael? Or Donatello?”

 

Jennie crossed her legs, her lips were tugged in a smirk.

 

“Donatello. All the way.”

 

“What? Whyyy.” Lisa whined in a pout.

 

Jennie’s smile widens.

 

“I’m sensing a Da Vinci fanatic in front of me.”

 

“Of course! He’s a true genius!” Lisa exclaimed, adding to her point. “He’s not only an artist, but an inventor, scientist, architect, and an engineer too!”

 

Jennie nodded encouragingly.

 

Lisa stared at her.

 

“What?” Jennie asked.

 

“Why him? Donatello.” Lisa repeated, still unconvinced at her girlfriend’s choice.

 

Jennie looked away, her expression plied in discernment.

 

“I guess I had this bias of rooting for someone who’s the underdog. The least favorite, I guess.”

 

Lisa felt how her own voice curtails into silence.   

 

She only wished her stomach to bid with her too.

 

As its loud rumbling instantly broke the serious atmosphere around them.

 

Jennie clutched her stomach, laughing hard.

 

“What!?” Lisa bawled in embarrassment.

 

Jennie raised and shakes a hand, her head ducked, trying to stifle her laughter. “Nothing. Nothing.”

 

Lisa stood and tugged Jennie’s hand, forcefully ignoring the bright blush that’s spread across her cheeks.

 

“Come at my place. You’ll have dinner with me.”

 

 

With Jennie joining their table for their dinner, both her mother and sister livened up with big smiles. They’ve walked up to her, embracing her into a tight hug, welcoming her like a daughter coming home for a vacation during their break.

 

They’ve shared stories about their day, from Sun-Hee showing off her three stars she got from her lessons, to her mother being relived about the deliveries of the linen she’d ordered being on time for their deadline. 

 

“How about the two of you? How’s Finals? Are the results out already?” Her mother asked.

 

Jennie turned to Lisa, her lips lined into silence.

 

Lisa let out a nervous laugh.

 

“It’s all good, Mom! Right, Jennie?”

 

Jennie widened her eyes at Lisa, scowling, before smiling back to the older.

 

“Yeah. Lisa breezed through the exams.” Jennie elbowed Lisa, throwing the ball back to her. “Right, Lis?”

 

Lisa winced at the pain, stuttering at her lie.

 

“S-sure did!”

 

Lisa forced a smile, resolving a change in topic.

 

“Have you seen my canvases, Mom?”

 

“You’re going to paint?” Her mother asked, somewhat surprised at her question.

 

Lisa nodded.

 

“Yeah. It’s been too long. But…I want to do it again.”

 

It was, more or less, a hobby.

 

But it was one of the things she’d enjoyed most.

 

Something about being able to capture a moment with her eyes before being etched into colors. Inscribed for others to see.

 

Bringing to life, the beauty she’d seen.

 

“Are you sure about that?” Her mother questioned, lips upturned as it tugs into a smile.

 

“Mom!” Lisa exclaimed, an instinctive response with how her mother would always mince back to teasing to her.

 

“You see, Jennie. My daughter here.” The older motioned towards Lisa with a hand. “Would always forget the difference between her drink and the used water for her paintings.”

 

Sun-Hee laughed from across the table. “Unnie would drink it too.”

 

Lisa perceived from her side how Jennie was hunched forward, a hand covering as she laughs.

 

Her mother shakes her head, adding.

 

“Happened a lot of times.”  

 

And just as she suspected, she’d already lost count on how many times she’d just wished to bury herself to where she sat, brightly blushing, with how her mother recollected her childhood stories to Jennie.

 

Her mother ranted onto Jennie, on how Lisa would always keep pestering her with questions back when she was a kid, like, Why do we dream? How does gravity work? Why do placebos work?

 

Questions that wouldn’t be often heard from a normal grade schooler.

 

Lisa felt an embarrassed blush creep to her face. She was only curious, she’d defend herself, but seeing how Jennie looked, she only let it slide.

 

She watched how Jennie’s eyes would squint in laughter, her cheeks puffing as she tries to hide her guffaws with a hand.

 

In which, Lisa had noticed that Jennie always has this warm smile.

 

The kindest of smiles.

 

And maybe, just maybe, that whenever Jennie closes her eyes as she laughs, Lisa hopes that even for a second Jennie would forget how the world could be cruel sometimes.

 

That her dilemmas.

 

Her insecurities.

 

And all the burdens she’d been secretly carrying.

 

Would be eased.

 

Lessened.

 

Even just for a moment.

 

With their dinner ending, Lisa stood and cleaned up the table while her mother lead Sun-Hee upstairs to tutor her with her assignment. Lisa picked up the plates and utensils before depositing it near the sink.

 

“I’ll help.” Jennie uttered to her side, seemingly closed for discussion as her hair was already tied up in a ponytail, stationing herself with its rinsing duty.

 

“Sorry about earlier. They’re…really noisy.” Lisa uttered before passing Jennie a plate lathered with soap.

 

Jennie took the plate, shaking her head.

 

“No. It’s okay.”

 

Smiling, Jennie continues.

 

“I love them.”

 

Lisa reached out with a finger, tucking a strand of Jennie’s brown locks behind her ear.

 

“Come with me later.” Lisa smiled back.

 

“Where to?”

 

Lisa teased playfully, cloaking herself in a mystery.

 

“It’s a surprise.”

 

Jennie raised a brow, completely intrigued now. She dipped her finger into the bubbly sink and pokes Lisa’s nose, shaping it with its soapy bubbles, saying.

 

“Surprise me, baby.”

 

 

It was something she’d held with pride.

 

Lisa lead Jennie with a hand, excitement painting her features as she turns the knob of their garage door. She flicked the lights open before circling around the area, her arms raised, smiling as she welcomes Jennie into her own land.

 

“Oh. Wow.” Jennie mumbled under her breath.

 

Lisa’s smile only widened, delighted on how Jennie’s eyes roamed over the area, still in place, awestruck at the view.

 

It took Lisa months to renovate the place, converting the dusty garage into her own art exhibit.

 

The walls were painted in ivory, dimmed by incandescent lightings from its ceiling. Her own paintings were framed into the walls, beaming with halogen lights that’s installed on its sides.

 

A spotlight for each masterpiece.

 

Shaded.

 

Filtering the vision with its own grandeur.

 

“I’ve converted this place into my own. You see. I…happened to love art. Painting. Sketching. And…I wanted to study sculpting and pottery too.” Lisa explained, shyly blushing.

 

Jennie nodded, astounded still, slowly circling around as she regarded each painting in wonder.

 

“This is amazing. You’re amazing.”

 

“Thanks.” Lisa bit her lip. She wended her eyes to the floor, sheepishly explaining. “These are my previous paintings before we moved into this house. My mother gave me permission to do whatever with this garage…because… I mean…when we…sold our house and car.”

 

Lisa closed her eyes, abashed with her broken sentence, sensitive until now about the topic regarding her father. Jennie squeezed her hand, wading her to look up.

 

And when she did.

 

She’s met with an understanding smile.

 

A silent look.

 

That there’s no need to continue. 

 

A connection of that same circumstance.

 

Troubled by the past.

 

Jennie tugged her hand, leading her to the center. She held the painting in scrutiny, taking in each of its element, each line of , and each tone of its colors.

 

“The details...” Jennie trailed off before turning to her. “I bet to my life, that you could remember all of it even with a single glance.”

 

“Y-yeah.” Lisa blushed, explaining. “I…don’t know. It felt like whenever I saw an image that struck me. I…just couldn’t forget it.”

 

Jennie posed beside her painting. Her head was thrown back as her hand snakes from her stomach to her chest, trailing it in seduction with lips parted in a sultry look.

 

“Won’t you draw me like one of your French girls, Jack?”

 

Lisa replies, grinning, fully understanding its context.

 

“Come then. Strip for me. I’ll paint you .”

 

“A ert.” Jennie shakes her head in disappointment, unconvincingly, as Lisa caught sight of that small smile that’s forming from the sides of her lips. “That’s what you are, Manoban.”

 

They’ve ambled towards the last set of paintings. In which, each painting was inspired from her dreams, envisioned in between her deep slumber, drawn and colored into life, rousing from a mere fantasy into reality itself.

 

“This one.” Lisa directed the painting with a hand. “Would you believe that I’ve painted this because it won’t stop appearing from my dreams.”

 

“Danaus Plexippus.” Jennie uttered, her eyes lost into the painted canvas. “An orange winged butterfly, laced with black lines and bordered with white dots. It’s also considered as the ‘King of butterflies’. The most beautiful of all the butterflies in the world. It’s more commonly known as…”

 

Jennie lifts a hand, about to trail its wings but halted herself. Her hand i