I didn’t wish for this love,

But you came along,

Seeking the secrets, I’ve already buried.

Monday

(After the Cultural Festival)

With a turn to her side, Lisa tries to stifle the loud ringing of her alarm clock. She heavily slams a hand to her bedside but the action, in turn, resulted with the clock skidding down to the floor. Still chiming its noise. Yet, instead of finally shutting it, Lisa only hovers a pillow into her head and presses it against her ears. Too idle to be bothered, preferring the realms of sleep than to face another day.

Apologize okay?

She could hear the man’s words, echoing to her once more before she could even revert back to her sleep.

It irritated her.

“I tried okay?! But then…But…Who the heck is that Seungwan?!” She fumes, throwing the pillow at the clock’s direction.

It’s noise spiking up her temper.

It all came back to her. The image of how Seungwan was leaning into Jennie, and how Jennie seemed to be flushed by the action. She angrily huffed, but her frustration instantly turns into dismay. Because if there’s anything she’d learn by now, it’s how she’s finally aware on what she feels.

“I’m…jealous.” She faltered, plopping back to her bed with a fall. “Great. Just great Lalisa.”  

“Lisa?”

Suddenly came her mother’s query, muffled from the door, followed by careful knocks.

She promptly got up, instantly grabbing the thrown items that was splayed across the floor before opening the door.

“Mom! Hi!” She hastily utters before greeting her mother with a smile. “Good mor –”

“I heard shouting.” Her mother stated, cutting her greeting short, followed by a speculative look. Easily reading her.

“Ah…Hahahaha.” She laughed dryly. “That was…my alarm?”

“Really now?”

“Y-yes. Uhm…I-I need to go now.” She nodded all too fast, failing to even cease her stutter.

“It’s 4:50 a.m.” Her mother prompted before she could even flee from their conversation, perceptively catching her excuse.

“I want to be early.” Lisa explains and stops from her steps. Eyes still averted from her mother’s scrutiny.  

“Seunghyun called me.”

“He did?” Lisa nodded, stalling now, skittish on what the man revealed to her mother. “What did he say?”

Her mother’s stare didn’t leave her.

“You were hurt.”

“Ah…This?” She pointed out while lifting her bandaged fingers. “This is nothing. This is just a – ”

“And that you cried.”

“It…” Lisa trails off. “It…really pricked my finger?”

It was an obvious lie. But what else can she say? She knows it’s her own fault. The way Jennie reacted. Spurning away her advances, long before she could utter her apology.

Her reply only made her mother more dubious than ever. Crossing her arms, the older woman continues. “He also said that you were given a leave for the Cultural Festival. Instead, you chose to work for the whole Cultural Festival.”

Lisa raises a finger, grinning. “Correction. I did take the leave for the first day.”

“Then how about the last two days?” Her mother contended.

“There’s…nothing much to do. And besides…I already helped out my class.” It was the truth, tasked or rather ‘forced’ by the president in the preparations at the economics hall. Though, she admits that the task of being a maid was made through her own volition.

Easily affirming to it once she’d heard the brunette’s name.

That finally, it was her chance to have a talk with Jennie.

Yet, it wasn’t.

Only complicating it more.

“I…always worry about you.”

Lisa looks up, finally meeting her mother’s anxious gaze.

Her mother’s cheeks were paler than usual as streaks of white hair grew more visible on her features. Lisa knew it was taking a toll on her. She knew that her mother was overworking herself as she’s now their sole parent.

Now that her father couldn’t support them.

“Hey! Don’t be~!” Lisa flashes her signature smile. “And hey…stop worrying about me! I’m a grown up already!”

“Oh really?” Her mother lightened up at that, she leans at the doorway and scoffs at her. “A grown up can easily build rapport with anyone.”

“I have friends.”

“In your class?”

“Y-yeah!”

“Names?” Her mother questioned with a fixed stare.

Implying that she has no friends.

That all she’d done was to attend her classes and go straight to her part time work. Pressing her to utter the name of the person that instinctively came into mind.

 “Jennie.”

“Full name?”

Her mother smirked, catching how she’d suddenly turned rigid upon realizing that she’d uttered the brunette’s name.   

Lisa felt her stomach lurch when she lowly mumbles Jennie’s name.

“K-Kim…Kim Jennie.”

It was a hushed response, hoping that her mother didn’t get her reply. 

Her mother nodded back and smiles.

Ecstatic.

“I want to meet this Kim Jennie then.”

“But – ”

“It’s not a request, Lalisa.” The older lady cuts her off.

Leaving her in a puddle of mess.

Strained.

For how could she ever convince Jennie to come over to her house?

The girl who was dead set on avoiding her?

Lisa easily spotted Jennie from the windows of their classroom, her figure hunched over at her own desk as she held the papers with a hand. Jennie was still the same. She’d still adorn that focused look, lost within the pages, keeping her routinary habit of studying.

She let out a small smile, pausing from the doorway, noticing how cute Jennie is. Lips childishly pouting as she resigns on whatever she’s reading, lazily sprawling her arms at her desk but straightening up just as quick once she’d caught sight of her.

Her arrival sets them into a stifling silence, making her to waddle back to her veil of nonchalance.

She silently walks towards her desk beside the brunette and masked herself once again with a passive look. She took her seat and simply crosses her legs with her eyes set up front.

She doesn’t know what to do.

On how to act and on what to say.

Deranged from even uttering a word.

That despite the stillness that suspends them, her mind was all in disarray.

The jealousy. The guilt. The fatigue from overworking herself.

All jumbled up into anxiety.

Flitting her back to unpredictability.

“Hey.” She finally muttered, trying to catch Jennie’s attention.

Surprising even herself at her own whims.

Jennie turns to her in an instant.

“H-hey?”

Coming face to face with Jennie shifts her sudden courage from her capriciousness into a slate of befuddlement.

Reeling her to act in contrast.

So she smiles.

As if to start anew.

“Good morning.” She said all too cheerily.

Jennie nodded at her slowly, eyeing her in complete disbelief. She saw how Jennie shifted at her chair, as if to gain some distance from her, before replying.

“Good…morning.”

“How are you?”

Was the question she could only think of at the moment, roving along at her own act, that for once, she’ll be the amiable and friendly character.

“I’m…good. You?”

She could hear the tone of hesitance from Jennie, merely going along, still in doubt of her sudden change.

Lisa knows it was too forced. This small talk they’re having, but she doesn’t want their conversation to end just yet.

In denial that maybe it was too late. That maybe.

They were just too broken.

Still, she smiles.

Even if it’s forced.

Even if it’s fake.

“Better.”

Jennie furrows her brows but nodded anyways. She clutches her papers once again and returns on reading.

It was suffocating.

And Lisa knew the distance between them might swell up into a premise she might no longer set foot on.

It scares her.

So even if it’s futile.

She doesn’t want it to end.

“How’s the Cultural Festival?” she asks, smiling once more. Ignoring the gnarling feeling that she’s now being ignored by the brunette.

Jennie places the papers down and faces her.

“It was…fun.”

“Did you go to the booths?” She supplies immediately, grinning, trying to make their conversation lighter.   

“I did.”

Lisa couldn’t blame Jennie for her uptight and scarce replies. Visibly cautious around her. She knew that anyone would be thrown into a loop with the way she’s acting. Suddenly being friendly. That in the first place, she should’ve been this way. Like any normal person would.

“Awweee. Pity. You didn’t even treat me~” Lisa pouted her lips, placing both of her hands under her chin.

It was the wrong move.

Because her initial thought that somehow, Jennie would see her to finally change, resulted with a back turned against her. Eyes transfixed to those papers rather than continuing their talk. Implying to her that she should back off.

Yet she didn’t.

“What is that?” she asked and motioned her body to the side, trying to peek at the papers, sighting the familiar insignia at the top corner of the paper. Lisa took her seat once more and nodded. “Those are medical records.”

She didn’t get a reply as Jennie continues on reading the papers.

“That’s new. You’re not studying?” she asked, humorlessly laughing, trying to hide her curiosity. Because if there’s anything Jennie prioritizes about, it’s her studies.

Jennie turns to her once more, deadpanned, hinting for her to stop with the questions.

“It’s Seungwan’s medical records.”

She doesn’t know why but hearing Seungwan’s name, her senses dulled with a cryptic twinge.

It was a numbing feeling.

Stinging her with an inquisitive mania as she recalls how perfect Seungwan is for Jennie.

It was a question.

She couldn’t restrain anymore.

“Your…girlfriend?” She meekly asked. Uttering the words without looking at Jennie.

“She’s…”

The answer only suspended around them.

She’d expected it.

She knew that Seungwan is someone who’s important to Jennie. That somehow, at the back of her mind, she knew that Jennie has feelings for Seungwan too.

Fearful, as her query was simply left unanswered.

She tries to smile once again.

Yet she couldn’t.

Sh