I watched as my castle crumbles into dust.

I stood there still, waiting to be crushed by its ruins.

Then you appeared, saving me, like a gallant knight there is.

 

Spring 2004

 

Jennie held her breath as she hauls the shovel with great effort. She tightly grasped it with her little hands before burrowing it back to the ground once more, persistent that this time, she wouldn’t make a mess - a clutter full of broken pottery, shattered and strewn across the walkway of the greenhouse.

 

She pulls the shovel, swiftly transferring its soil to the nearby pot, as finally, she’d managed on completing the simple task without destroying it to pieces.

 

“YES!!” she smiles victoriously, pumping a fist in the air.

 

She looks back, eyes searching for her companion, about to brag her accomplishment.

 

“Did you see that Tablo? I did it! And without breaking it!”

 

A man suited in that same old-fashioned look nodded back to her, masked with that frigid expression he always has. Only this time, his dark slacks and button up shirt were now covered with mud.

 

“Aish. You’re boring.” She pouted sulkily at her butler’s lack of enthusiasm.

 

It was partly her fault? – incessantly asking him to help her on gardening – which consists of her dragging him along and him trying to salvage, or revive for that matter, the plants she’d planned to set in the garden bed.

 

She’d thought that she’ll be scolded, knowing that the man was always keen on looking presentable, but to her surprise, he only let it slide, bidding to her request.

 

That and the fact she’d skipped on today’s piano lessons.

 

‘It was too boring’ she’d defend herself, concluding not only for that certain session but to ALL of it.

 

Lessons about fine dining etiquette, ballet, foreign language, and other subjects that her parents obligated her to take.

 

‘I just want to play!’

 

It was easy, running away from those lessons.

 

It’s a hide-and-seek game.

 

Finding delight whenever the staff turns into a frantic mess just to know where she is. She took advantage of the spacious expanse of the mansion, making it harder for them to locate her. Playful. Afterall, her parents aren’t even there to scold her.

 

Though, there’s an exception.

 

And it was the Head Butler.

 

She didn’t know why but despite her efforts on hiding, even confident at how she’s good at it, her butler would always find her within minutes. She’d given it a thought, that maybe her butler was some kind of spy or something.

 

‘It would be cool if he’s a secret agent. Just like in movies!’

 

He didn’t scold her though, nor tell her to go back to her lessons. He’d always stand guard beside her, cloaked with that same stony look. She saw it numerous times, that whenever a stranger would catch a glimpse at her butler, their faces would turn pale in an instant.

 

She stifles a giggle.

 

It was a new look? His unreadable expression was still evident, but now, a smear of mud runs across his face, tainting that seriousness her butler would often exude. She wouldn’t tell him, of course, curious on the head housemaid’s reaction of his look.

 

She drew her look outside, noting the change of the sun’s blinding light to a grim streak of red, altering the clear blue skies. Its radiance fading slowly with darkened patterns, as if painted with the shade of rose.

 

She smiles.

 

She’d always find it calming, getting lost for a moment as she looks up to the skies.

 

It would always differ. It would always alter into the different hue of colors, all mixed up, varying from its dark tinge to its soft contrast. That she’d often find herself comparing it to the flowers that embellish the garden.

 

It sparked her a sudden idea.  

 

“Tablo! Let’s go there!” she runs up to him and pulls his slacks. The man looks down at her, and with a sigh he bends down to meet her eyes.

 

“Milady. I believe that’s enough.”

 

“Cmon! Let’s play!” she petulantly demanded, purposely ignoring the butler’s words.

 

The man straightened up and brushed off his coat. He then lifts a finger to adjust his black shades. He furrows his brows, and asks.

 

“Milady?”

 

“What.” she grunted as she crosses her arms, not even hiding her own pettiness. Cranky at the butler’s response to her request.

 

“Can we get go back to the mansion already? The head housemaid might get mad at us and…”

 

The man didn’t finish his sentence, probably recognizing at how upset she looked right now.

 

He sighed in defeat and addressed her with that polite tone.

 

“Let’s go?”

 

She grinned widely.

 

‘It worked.’

 

She held his hand and pulls him, hiding her victorious smirk at how her scheme would always work without fail. She led him to the center of the greenhouse, and upon arriving, she releases her hold from his hand to circle around at its heart.

 

They were welcomed by vast array of flowers, aligned in columns in both sides, as its colors clashing the different shades of red. A faint color of pink to its darkest tinge of mahogany. They were all in contrast.

 

The exact reverse of the other, but once drawn together.

 

It melds into perfection.

 

It was a grand entrance.

 

Fit for a royalty.

 

A sight that would always draw her breathless.

 

She gracefully danced in circles.

 

She could precisely recall it, the dances taught to her despite her initial hate of it.

 

She drew her hands mid-air and pivots smoothly to the left. She halts, and bends down, arms miming the caress of a gentle breeze before retracting back to her old position.

 

The dim light of red that refracts from the skies highlights her movements.

 

It was her spotlight.

 

Casted for her, and her alone.

 

She came to a stop, breathing hard, and looks up to her sole audience. The butler gave her an applause, his claps resounding loudly.

 

She shakes her head, embarrassed and at the same time proud.

 

She tilts her head upwards, a gesture she’d often see at the movies, and positioned her hand as if she’s holding a staff.

 

She tries to confine her laughter at the act she’s about show, and utters her command.

 

“Make me a crown.”

 

Taking her cue, her butler kneels down. His right hand tightened into a fist as he placed it against his chest, like he’s about to swear his loyalty to her. A subtle smile gracing along the side of his lips, playing along with her.

 

“Your wish is my command.”

 

She cracked up, laughing loudly.

 

“It doesn’t fit you!”

 

Her butler just stood, and walk towards the sides, trying to hide his embarrassment from her.

 

She shakes her head and follows him. She watched as the man made the crown, twisting the stems as the support, to picking the flowers that would form it. She’s left in awe. She didn’t know that her butler was good in flower arrangement – a flaw of hers that  she’d already considered to be hopeless for her to learn.

 

“Here.” Her butler said, handing out the flower crown.

 

“Wow!” she exclaimed as she took the crown. “Thank you. This is beautiful.”

 

“You’re welcome, Milady.” her butler bowed at her, smiling

 

She placed it atop of her head, and circles around.

 

“How do I look?”

 

“You look like a princess, of course.” The man easily replied. She huffed back, cheeks puffing out in disagreement.

 

“That’s not it! I should be Queen!”

 

Her butler only raised a brow at her, his smile turning into a taunting one. He held a hand to his chin, his eyes set upwards as to declare his own thoughts.

 

“A Queen would always listen to what others has to say.”

 

“I…always…listen.” Her reply drifted, somewhat aware of her childish whims.

 

Her butler only nods back. The man dusted off his pants and retrieves his coat that lays across the floor. “Shall we head back then, Mi –”

 

He coughs, and straightened his back again.

 

His eyes glinting of mischief.

 

“Shall we head back then, Your Majesty?”

 

The title swelled up her pride.

 

She childishly grinned as she runs past her butler.

 

Her smile grew, unceasing, trekking back as she secures her own crown with a hand. 

 

***

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Jennie muttered under her own breath. She runs a hand against her dress, easing out her tension, and settles her hands to it ends, curling up her fingers in a clutched hold.

 

The lady attending to the younger didn’t reply and continues her ministrations on combing Jennie’s hair. She runs a hand at the brunette’s locks, parting it with her fingers as she starts to braid it.

 

They’ve settled in silence once more.

 

She sat there, stiff and too afraid to even move a finger. She looks up to the mirror, waiting for the head housemaid’s reaction, but the older still wore that unreadable expression.

 

She’d underestimated her though.

 

She’d never thought that she would be caught by the head housemaid of the mansion.

 

It was going according to her plan. She knew that the staff was a scrambling mess, clueless on her whereabouts. That’s why she plans to go back in secret using the back door near the courtyard. They’ve stealthily ambled, she gave her butler a cue and turns the knob.

 

Only to be welcomed by the head house maid, piercing them with a cold stare – too menacing – that they’ve both bowed and uttered in unison.

 

“I’m sorry!”

 

She felt that lady’s scrutiny at their messy look, as if displeased at the view.

 

The older turns her back at them and wended back to the hallways opposite to the foyer. She followed her, of course, an implied response at the maid’s silence.

 

The older lead Jennie back to her room and proceeds on preparing her bath. And as soon as she’s finished, the maid helped her in her dress, still wielding that uncomfortable silence.

 

She nervously swallows the lump forming in , and utters the maid’s name.  

 

“Hye-jung ah.”

 

The head maid didn’t respond. She runs a hand through her locks as to add its final touches.

 

“I’m sorry. I’ve forgotten about it. I was too busy playing…and…” she couldn’t finish her sentence as she hung her head low.

 

“It’s not your fault. It’s that man’s fault.” Hye-jung finally replied. “But...”

 

The older continues, somewhat disappointed.

 

“You shouldn’t have gone too far, Milady. Your mother might get furious when she’d known what you’ve done to her garden.”

 

“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I promise.” Her lips were now tight lipped. Her heart furiously thrumming at the mention of her mother. She looks up to her, stammering. “Y-you won’t…tell her, right?”

 

The older gave her an understanding smile.

 

Ceasing her own tension.

 

“I won’t.”She hugged her tight, which the older returns with a light tap to her back. “Thank you.”

 

Hye-jung kneels to her, running a hand to smoothen out the wrinkles of her dress. “Milady, your dress might get ruined. Today’s a special day after all.”

 

She grinned back at her.

 

“Are they here yet?”

 

The older shakes her head. “Maybe in an hour or so?” Looking at her watch, she asks. “Shall we head down now, Milady?”

 

“Ah! Wait! You can go first. There’s something I need to find.” she uttered. The maid bows at her then and exited her room.

 

‘Where is it?’ She shuffles around her room, searching for the medal she’d recently won in a science contest. She slid the drawers open, rummaging its contents, then shutting it back close.

 

She pauses for a while, recalling the last place she’d saw it.

 

‘Where is it? I swear I…?’

 

She lunges to where her bag is as she hurriedly zips it open, and just like she’d thought, it was there. The medal that she couldn’t wait to show to her parents.

 

She’d often hear about it.

 

Her sister’s achievements.

 

A feat that’s comparable to their parent’s intellect.

 

The prodigy.

 

A true successor of the two most renowned scientists of the century.

 

She’s nowhere near their level and she’s well aware of it.

 

She wasn’t a genius.

 

But she has to try.

 

It was the first step.

 

This achievement.

 

She gets up and faces the mirror. She clutched the medal tightly as she puts on that brave smile.

 

‘They’ll be proud of you.’

 

She ambles along, enliven, positive on how this night would turn out.

 

She was about to open the door when she heard voices, seemingly in between a heated argument. She rests her back against it, scuffling away from disrupting them. It wasn’t long before she recognized those voices.

 

Voices that belongs to her butler and the headhouse maid. She slightly shakes her head in disapproval as the duo wobbles back to their old routine of  bickering.

 

“Look! I’m really sorry, okay?! I didn’t – ”

 

The man was interrupted by Hye-jung, retaliating to his anger.

 

“Why are you here?! Are you some kind of guard dog?!”

 

“Well, apparently it’s my duty to look over her as I’m the head butler. A ‘protocol’ I should say for it seems like you lack in understanding.” The man coolly rebutted.

 

‘They never get along.’

 

They wouldn’t show it to her, though, them fighting and arguing at each other. Jennie didn’t notice it at first, as they were both impassive whenever she’s around, but the moment the two were left alone.

 

They would always bicker like some old couple.

 

“Look over her? Are you kidding me?” her maid articulated in a tone that drips venom. “Does that include going home all muddy and even wrecking the garden, huh?!”

 

Jennie shut her eyes, guilt gnawing to her as she mutters silently.

 

‘I’m sorry, Tablo.’

 

She could her the man sighs out of frustration. “I’ve already cleaned it, if that’s you’re worried about! You shouldn’t get too serious and get mad all the time. No wonder, there’s no man who would dare to court you.”

 

The maid countered easily.

 

“Says the man who was divorced by her wife!! You’re just – ”

 

It was her turn to intervene as she flung the door open.

 

She gave them the most innocent smile she could muster.

 

It worked like magic, as the two bows to her in unison.

 

“Milady.”

 

“Let’s go?” she asks. Both of them nodded back, hurled into silence, ashamed that they’ve been caught arguing.

 

She positioned herself in between them. She glanced at them first before holding their hand, intertwining it with hers.

 

She giggles, feeling the duo’s rigidity at the sudden touch. She playfully swings their hands, and asks for the second time.

 

“Let’s go?”

 

The two nodded back with a small smile on their faces.

 

It was the closest thing to reality.

 

And it was something that she’d often be jealous of with her classmates.

 

To be able to hold her parents’ hand.

 

***

 

It was extravagant, of course, despite her loud rebuff at the idea. She’s already contented at a simple celebration but the head housemaid just turned her request down and proceeds to instructs the chef and her staff to facilitate it with all the grandeur.

 

The long expanse of the dinner table was set with different dishes, illuminated by the shades of refracted light by the chandeliers that hangs above.

 

But now, it was different.

 

Sighting the plates and utensils that was now set for four, used at being the sole individual who’d eat at this long table. She felt her excitement rouse within her, mixed with a little anxiety, but superseded by her own exhilaration.

 

She waited, edging at her seat, too jumpy, but settles on tapping her fingers at the table.  

 

It was her day.

 

She could finally see her family, both her parents and her sister.

 

They’ve promised to be with her, even just for today, despite their busy schedules at their work and the tedious exams her sister has with her university.

 

It didn’t bother her that clock turns its hands, conveying an hour has already passed.

 

She’ll wait for them.

 

She settled her gazed at the candle erected at the center of the table. Its fire ablaze in a lively glimmer, idly lighting its space with its dance.

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