Two disastrous nights and one morning

“Go home, Junmyeon. And just admit it, you overreacted.”

“Goodbye, Tao.” Junmyeon hung up the phone. He turned in his desk chair, looking at the city lights shining outside. He saw water drops hitting the windows, rolling down quickly. It had been raining for quite some time now, and yet Junmyeon was still here.

The day after he and Yixing had ‘fought,’ Yixing had waited for his return in the evening because Junmyeon had left earlier for work that morning. However, when Junmyeon had seen him, he had ignored Yixing and walked straight to his room. Yixing tried again, and Junmyeon refused. Even though Junmyeon missed Yixing, yearned for him and his affection, he was still angry, jealous and bitter over how things had gone, over Yixing’s choice. Perhaps this fiasco had been proof that they were indeed not meant to be, and it was an early sign Junmyeon should give up on his feelings.

A week passed, and they still hadn’t talked yet. Yixing had always left him dinner in the evenings, though, Junmyeon didn’t have any appetite to eat it. Running away from the situation seemed the optimal solution to Junmyeon’s problem. Eventually, after not seeing Yixing daily, it might dissolve his feelings. That was what Junmyeon had thought, his friends believed otherwise. After Junmyeon had vented his frustration at Tao and Yifan about Yixing and that night, their advice had been that he needed to talk to Yixing, but their words fell on deaf ears. Until Tao brought up a valid point. ‘What if you had been in Yixing’s shoes?’ And that question did give Junmyeon something to think about these last couple of days. But he had also thought about it because Tao and Yifan checked on him daily to see whether he had done something, just like a few minutes ago.

If the roles had been the opposite; if it had been him who had bailed on Yixing to help Tao or Yifan, then would it have been reasonable that Yixing got mad at him? Junmyeon first response had been yes. After all, he had put effort into making that night perfect, it wasn’t fair everything had been in vain. If Yixing had done the same, of course, Yixing had the right to be angry. But the more Junmyeon thought about it, new sides and views appeared. If it had been him with Tao or Yifan in the hospital, seeing how his friends were suffering, would he have been able to leave them at such critical moment? He might not care about the rest of the world, but he did value his few and only friendships. Leaving them alone, that would have been terrible. So, he had admitted, he wouldn’t abandon a friend in an emergency, not even for Yixing. Besides, he and Yixing weren’t technically in a relationship, so why should he have a say in whether Yixing stays or goes? The same applied to who Yixing befriend, even if it were Kim Jongin.

He concluded, his vent and anger that night against Yixing might have been exaggerated. But he had a difficult time swallowing his pride and taking the first step to amend things with Yixing. It just wasn’t something he was used to doing. Usually, people just assumed he was right, and at work, he always made sure to not commit any errors. However, Junmyeon was aware that eventually he and Yixing had to talk. They were going to attend this charity ball in five days, so, there couldn’t be any trace of Junmyeon being angry with his fiancé. Junmyeon just didn’t know how, where and when to speak with Yixing. He also didn’t know what he’ll do after that talk. Would he continue trying to persuade Yixing? Was it worth to keep trying? Or should he just admit defeat for once in his life?

“Perhaps I should go home,” Junmyeon mumbled to himself. Office hours had ended long ago, it was eleven o’clock. It wasn’t strange that during some rough periods he’ll work overtime at the office, but right now wasn’t one of those times. People might start wondering soon why he would rather be at work than at home. Another reason why he should hurry up and fix things. Junmyeon sighed. He put away the documents he had to revise in his briefcase. And then he left the office.

A while later Junmyeon walked through the lobby of his building residence. He went towards the private elevator, scanned his card key and waited. Junmyeon almost jumped when he heard footsteps approaching and saw Yixing standing there holding an umbrella. He wondered why Yixing was arriving home at this hour too. Had he been hanging out with his friend?

“Good night, Junmyeon,” Yixing said, smiling meekly.

This was too soon to be seeing him, to talk to him. Junmyeon hadn’t figured out what to say yet. When the elevator doors opened, he walked in without replying anything. Yixing followed suit. Junmyeon stood close to the elevator wall, while Yixing remained in front of the doors. So began one of the most awkward elevators rides he had ever had. Most of the time, he would only look at Yixing’s nape, remembering how soft it had been around his hands. He also saw Yixing was tapping his foot nervously, his hand fidgeted with the umbrella.

Out of nowhere, the lights turned off, leaving them in complete darkness. The elevator stopped. Junmyeon groaned.

“Must be a power outage,” Yixing said.

I know that, Junmyeon thought, rolling his eyes. He took out his new phone and called the building’s maintenance personnel. Meanwhile, he saw Yixing lightening up the elevator buttons and pressing the emergency key. Both got the same answer from the staffs, the storm had damaged a power line, and they were trying to fix it, but they couldn’t know how long time it’ll take exactly.

“Perfect,” Junmyeon complained after hanging up the phone. He could hear Yixing chuckling silently. He dropped his briefcase on the floor, crossed his arms and rested his back against the wall. Now that Yixing turned off his phone’s light, it was dark again. Some noises could be heard, and Junmyeon guessed it must Yixing sitting down. Junmyeon let out a sigh.

It was quiet for a while, the only noises being their breathings and Yixing taping the floor with what appeared to be his fingernails. Junmyeon began thinking that perhaps here and now, in this place, at this moment, was the chance to speak. Whatever he said, Yixing wouldn’t be able to see him, and neither would he see Yixing. Where to begin was the question. Should he admit he was wrong or just say they should put things behind them and move forward? He wasn’t even sure what moving forward will mean, but, going back to normal should be a priority.

“Yixing,” Junmyeon said.

He heard a thud. Yixing must have hit his head on the elevator walls.

“Yes, Junmyeon?” Yixing answered with bewilderment in his voice.

“About that night…” He began saying, but his damn Emotion Watch shone yellow at that instant, lightning his face. How great. He quickly covered it with his hand, but he knew Yixing had seen it. “I-I get it.”

“You get what?”

Junmyeon closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I get… Why you had to stay.”

“Are you saying…?”

“I’m saying that if I had been in a similar situation, I wouldn’t have left Tao or Yifan alone. That would have been too cruel.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Yixing said, “But I still wanted to apologize for the fact I should have called you earlier. You were right, I said I would come, and I shouldn’t have kept you in the dark for two hours and then canceling at the last minute. That was rude. I’m sorry.”

On the one hand, Junmyeon couldn’t agree more. Yixing should have answered his calls for heaven’s sakes. Junmyeon had been dumbly waiting for him for hours. On the other hand, even if Yixing had called Junmyeon would still have reacted that way. He knew he would have gotten jealous and unable to understand why Yixing had preferred to stay with Jongin. “Yes, you should be,” he said.

Yixing sighed.

“But I still might have overreacted. You weren’t entirely at fault, and I get it now. I apologize for yelling at you… And then ignoring you… Sorry.”

Junmyeon didn’t get a response immediately. He wondered why Yixing didn’t say anything. Did his apology mean nothing now? Was it too late?

“Wow,” Yixing said. “Honestly, I didn’t think you’d apologize. But… No hard feelings.”

By the sound of Yixing’s voice, Junmyeon suspected Yixing must be happy now. “I-I feel the same.” And he felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders. So, he had apologized, he had admitted he was also at wrong. It felt good. It felt liberating that the tension between them had been solved.

“Good! Because I was starting to miss you.” Yixing chuckled.

Junmyeon’s heart skipped a beat. He felt his cheeks turning warm in that familiar way whenever it came to Yixing. Yixing missed him too. “Re-really?” he stuttered.

“The house feels too empty. It’s lonely.”

Oh. So, Yixing missed his physical company. Still, it was something, sort of. “I see. Is that why you’re coming home so late tonight? Were you too lonely?”

“Maybe. I was visiting Kyungsoo and Chanyeol. They invited me over for dinner.”

Junmyeon heard Yixing gasp.

“Which reminds me, I haven’t cooked anything for you! You haven’t eaten, have you?”

As always, Junmyeon found it heartwarming when Yixing worried over him, even if it were things like this. It made him smile. “No, but it’s fine.”

“Nonsense! I’ll prepare something quick for you.”

“It’s late, you don’t have to, Yixing.”

“You cannot skip meals, Junmyeon! I’ll…I’ll order pizza! I’m a little hungry myself, so I’ll get for both.”

“Wherefrom?”

“A pizzeria, of course.”

Junmyeon didn’t know why he asked, he knew Yixing would answer that. He always ate pizza from trustworthy luxury restaurants, but should he trust Yixing’s judgment?

“Come on, Junmyeon. You survived last time we ate at a place like that.” Yixing laughed, a contagious laugh that made Junmyeon chuckle too. Well, Yixing did have a fair point.

“Fine. Let’s eat that.”

Talking like that, being easygoing with each other, it felt everything was back to normal as if they hadn’t been, or well mostly Junmyeon, avoiding each other. Maybe having admitted his mistake had been worth it if this was what he got in return.

“Junmyeon.”

“Yeah?”

“That night... Was…Was it a date?” Yixing muttered quietly.

Junmyeon raised his eyebrows. A date? He hadn’t even considered it. For him, it had been them eating dinner together with a ‘romantic atmosphere.’ But that was basically the definition of a date, wasn’t it? Oh. He had asked Yixing out on a date, that was what his original idea had technically been. Even if it had been substituted for an evening at home, it was still a date. How didn’t he realize it?

Just as Junmyeon figured out what to say, the elevator lights again, startling them both. They covered their eyes with their hands, trying to avoid the blinding light. Not long after, the elevator arrived at the penthouse. And so, the question had been forgotten, and they both picked up their things and walked into the apartment.

“I’ll call the pizzeria now,” Yixing said as they removed their coats and shoes. “Do you have any preference?”

“Surprise me,” Junmyeon smirked.

Everything went back to normal after the storm that stuck them in the elevator. In days their old habits and the time they spent together returned. Junmyeon was still thinking whether to keep going with his pursuing Yixing plan or if he should just let it be. A part of him was afraid that if he tried again, it would only end up in more disaster. But another part was desperate to have Yixing in his arms, to be in Yixing’s grasp, and yearned so urgently for Yixing, that it was impossible to ignore. That part reached its limit this night.

Tonight, when Junmyeon arrived from Tao’s and Yifan’s house, he was surprised to not find Yixing waiting for him. When he took out his phone, he noticed a text message from Yixing sent ten minutes ago.

Yixing 🌿 : I had to go back to the flower shop. It’s a work emergency. Eat without me 😊

Junmyeon furrowed his eyebrows. It was around nine o’clock. He wondered what kind of emergency Yixing was having right now. But he proceeded to eat anyway.

Two hours later, Yixing still hadn’t returned home, and Junmyeon got restless. He sat in his living room, looking at the hallway rather than what the television was playing. He had thought of calling Yixing countless times, but he didn’t want to bother him at work. Nonetheless, Junmyeon couldn’t keep calm. So, he got up from the couch and strode to the hall.

The flower shop looked somewhat different, Junmyeon noted as he parked his car. Then, he realized it was due to not having the usual pots and flowers standing outside. How dumb. He got off his car and went to the door. He tried to open it, but it was locked. Junmyeon knocked on the glass a few times.

Until Yixing finally came out. He gasped when he saw Junmyeon standing there. “Junmyeon? What are you doing here?”

“I-I was wondering why you haven’t come home yet… It’s late.”

Yixing smiled tenderly, his expressions turning soft. “Come in, I’ll explain.”

Junmyeon followed Yixing inside. Everything looked almost the same as those months ago, when he had spent days there, trying to convince Yixing to marry him. He smiled to himself. They walked until a working station, where Yixing was currently fixing what seemed to be a centerpiece.

“What happened?”

“A wedding,” Yixing said, “They’re getting married tomorrow. We fixed all the forty centerpieces earlier today.”

Right now, though, Yixing was doing the opposite, he carefully undid the centerpiece by removing the various flowers from the pedestal vase.

“But the bride changed her mind. She had been undecided between including either these poppies,” Yixing said, holding up a red flower. “Or sweet peas. She eventually went for poppies.” He chuckled. “Some hours ago, she called me and says she wanted sweet peas after all. Those were the flowers his fiancé gave her during their first date, and she remembered it now. She had to have the sweet peas.”

“Isn’t that inconsiderate? You were already done. Couldn’t she have figured it out earlier? Why did you agree to it?” Junmyeon asked, crossing his arms.

“Haven’t you heard the phrase, ‘The bride is always right?’” Yixing let out a laugh. “But I don’t mind. And she’s gonna pay us extra, so it’s okay.”

“Hopefully that extra is enough to cover all this work,” Junmyeon scoffed. “And why are you on your own? Why isn’t your team here?”

“We don’t open on Sundays Junmyeon. Their Saturday shift ended hours ago. Besides I can handle this on my own. I’ve already done ten.”

Yixing was a terrible boss. Junmyeon would have called those slackers right away, that was one of the reasons he had gotten so successful, by managing his office team diligently. Then again, not calling them did sound like something Yixing would do. He sighed. He continued watching Yixing doing his job.

All the flowers were removed now. Yixing gathered the poppies and put them aside in a different vase. Not even the unused flowers did Yixing throw away. Then, Yixing grabbed other pink flowers and put them on the crafting table. He began rearranging the centerpiece one more time.

“Do-do you want help?” Junmyeon found himself saying. This would take Yixing all night. It was too much work for one person. Even if Junmyeon had never done this type of work before, he could still be useful. Two persons worked faster than one. And he just wanted to go home and rest. Well, he could have done it, but it just didn’t seem right to leave Yixing like that.

“Really? You want to help me?” Yixing said, gasping.

Junmyeon ignored the astonishment on Yixing’s face. Hey, he could be helpful too… If he wanted to. “Sure, otherwise you’ll be stuck here all night.”

“I was ready to pull an all-nighter anyway,” Yixing laughed. “But I’ll be happy to have your help.” He gave Junmyeon a broad smile that made Junmyeon feel elated.

Yixing handled him an apron. He showed Junmyeon where they stored the centerpieces. The ones on the left were finished, and the rest needed to be fixed. Yixing took one centerpiece with him and put it on the other crafting table. Since Junmyeon wasn’t a florist, he couldn’t help him arranging the new centerpieces, but he could help him undo the old ones. Yixing showed Junmyeon how he should remove the flowers, one by one, and how to grab and hold them with the most utter care so they wouldn’t get damaged in the process. It would also be easier if he sorted the flowers on the table by species.

Even though for Junmyeon some flowers looked the same, he did his best to remember which ones where one species and so on. After hearing Yixing’s endless indications, he tried to remove one of the pale pink roses. Yixing observed him sternly. Carefully his hands did the job, and when Junmyeon had managed to set the flower free, Yixing grinned and clapped. Junmyeon blushed a little at that

The night went on like that, Junmyeon undoing the centerpieces and Yixing redoing them with the sweet peas. They found a rhythm in which by the time Yixing was done, Junmyeon also was. In the meantime, they also shared talks.

“Was becoming a florist your first choice in the aptitude test?” Junmyeon asked.

Yixing shook his head. “My first choice was to become a genetics researcher.”

Junmyeon looked up at Yixing hastily. Yixing? A genetics researcher? He wouldn’t have guessed that one. Sure, it was a profession with more prestige, but now Junmyeon just couldn’t see Yixing doing something else than fixing flowers. This night he had seen how Yixing cared and treated all his plants and flowers, how Yixing smiled when he finished a centerpiece and went on explaining why this flower arrangement was proportional, or how he would sometimes say random tidbits and tell in the ‘language of flowers’ what a flower meant. Yixing and flowers went hand in hand.

“Surprised?” Yixing laughed.

“Yes.”

“I don’t usually tell this, but growing up I was intrigued by genetics, the human genome, DNA, and all that stuff. I read countless books, watched documentaries and other stuff about it.”

“Where does the gard-florist thing come from, then?”

“Qian,” Yixing said. His lips curved into a fond, nostalgic smile. “She loved flowers. She was the one who taught me about the language of flowers. We used to pick flower together. Eventually, I came to love them too.”

“So, you gave up your dream for… Your sister?”

Yixing laughed. “Just because my aptitude test said my number one option was genetics doesn’t mean it was my dream. Becoming a florist was my tenth option, sure, but it made me the happiest… I thought that… That once Qian would return we would work together because she was studying to become a floral designer or a florist. That was my dream. So, I chose it. And as you can see, I ultimately managed to open my own shop. It took time and money, but it was worth it.”

“‘Qian’s flower shop,’ I get it now.”

Yixing nodded, smiling timidly.

And Junmyeon began feeling sickened with himself. As a brother, he couldn’t compare to Yixing. As a brother, he had been the most wicked one, the most detestable, the-

“What about you, Junmyeon?”

Junmyeon blinked in surprise. “What?”

“Was business and office work your dream?”

No. Working in business administration had been his first choice from the result of his aptitude test, that was it. That hadn’t been his dream. The closest thing he had had to a goal was to never let his family down again. All the decisions he took was towards that dream. Choosing his first option in the aptitude test, becoming a successful businessman, hopefully winning the election and becoming the Leader of the nation, it was all because of that ‘dream.’ “Yeah, it was.”

“You know, I’ve always wondered, why don’t you work at Kim Industries? I mean, your family owns the biggest real estate and construction company in the country, why don’t you work there?”

Junmyeon sighed. “I was supposed to. But once I graduated… I didn’t want to land a high positioned job only because of my family. I wanted to prove that I could do just as well on my own, and I did. It had also been a good choice because when I got elected as a candidate, it played in my favor.”

“I see,” Yixing said.

The night continued along with their chats every now and then. Until three hours later all the centerpieces were finally done. Junmyeon’s hands hurt but he was glad everything was finished. Yixing grinned happily too, and repeatedly said what a great duo they had been, he also thanked Junmyeon for helping him out. It made Junmyeon feel somewhat proud, maybe prouder than whenever he had gotten a promotion.

When they had arrived home, before each one parted ways and jumped into bed and rested, Yixing stopped short. He turned around and looked at Junmyeon straight in the eye. Without notice, he jumped forward and surrounded his arms around Junmyeon, enveloping him in a warm hug.

The world seemed to have stopped for Junmyeon. Yixing was hugging him. Yixing’s arms tenderly held him. Yixing’s body was oh so close to him. And it was all, everything Junmyeon had wanted. He closed his eyes and raised his hands to hold Yixing against him, bringing him as close as he could. He inhaled Yixing’s hair, enjoying that shampoo scent. He found a calmness, a sense of belonging he had never felt while hugging anyone before.

“Thanks again for helping me, Junmyeon,” Yixing whispered, breaking the silence, “You were incredible.”

That only fueled Junmyeon’s longing. He backed away and pushed Yixing away a little, but still keeping them in a hug. Yixing looked at him questioningly, and before he could utter a word, Junmyeon attacked his lips. How he had craved to kiss those lips freely, whenever he wanted, without having onlookers nearby. The best feeling was when Yixing started to kiss him back, trying to dominate the kiss. Junmyeon didn’t care as long as those luscious lips kept on kissing him.

But the air was a necessity. And as much as Junmyeon didn’t want, they had to stop. They rested their forehead against one another, they panted against their faces, not minding it one bit. They kept on holding each other while looking at their eyes. But when the giddiness of the kiss died out, when they both realized what had happened, what they were doing, they instantly backed away letting go of each other.

“Wha-what was tha-that?” Yixing asked, voice quivering, face looking full of confusion.

And Junmyeon felt the urge to just say what had been bothering him for so long. To say it and dumbly hope that everything would turn out great. “I-I’m…” In love with you, he thought, but his lips mouthed, “I-I’m practicing.” He couldn’t, not right now, not like this.

“Practicing?”

“Practicing kissing you. Yeah, that’s it. You know what? It’s late, and I’m tired. Good night, Yixing,” Junmyeon said. He ran away towards his room, opened the door and went inside.

It wasn’t the right time yet.

The next day, Junmyeon left the house early in the morning, even though he knew Yixing wouldn’t be there since Yixing had said he needed to deliver the centerpieces to the wedding venue.

He spent most of his morning at his favorite restaurant. After eating breakfast, he couldn’t help thinking about last night’s events, especially the final ones. He had kissed Yixing, Yixing had hugged him unexpectedly. Did the hug mean something? Could it perhaps be an indication that Yixing was also harboring love feelings towards him? It could be. After all, no one hugs someone like Yixing had hugged him, even if they had felt gratitude. Yixing’s embrace had been one he had never felt before, the firm grip, the closeness. And then how could he forget how Yixing had passionately kissed him back? The kiss had been fiercer, with more feeling than all those times they had kissed for the sake of publicity. Everything had to mean something. Those thoughts spun around Junmyeon’s head the whole time, and each time, the more he believed that Yixing indeed liked him too, and the braver he became to come clean.

In the end, Junmyeon had come forward to an important decision. He had to try, he had to try asking Yixing out on a date where he could properly confess his feelings. Heck, he was tired of second-guessing, tired of doubting and wondering, and pining, and suffering in silence. He needed to say it now, so the lovesickness could end, and he could finally be at peace. Yixing would say yes, he constantly told himself that. Yixing would say yes.

Before going back home, he swung by a flower shop. Unfortunately, they didn’t have alstroemerias. The day of their date, that day he’ll gift Yixing the most beautiful alstroemerias. But those red roses he got instead could suffice for now.

With each moment he came closer to home, he felt happy, excited, elated, looking forward and imagining the moment Yixing would say yes, and if the world was fair, maybe even say he liked Junmyeon too. Junmyeon had basically smiled the whole car ride back to the building.

For the first time in years, he greeted his doorman with a wide beam, something that seemed to have caught the man by surprise. But Junmyeon continued his way, strolling confidently to the private elevator. He tapped his feet impatiently while he waited for the elevator to arrive. Once he got in, his heartbeat rose to the skies, every thump seemed to come quicker than the previous one. He felt his stomach flip and flip. He saw his Emotion Watch going from yellow to white and so on. However, he didn’t care, he would do it, he would simply do it.

Junmyeon grinned. The elevator's door opened and-

He dropped the bouquet of roses. He gasped. He lost his breath. He felt a sharp, piercing pain in his heart as if it was being ripped out of his chest and trampled, crushing it to fragments. He felt his eyes turning watery within seconds as the image of Yixing and Jongin kissing in front of him took place.