We're so near the end! Only one chapter left after this!

Or is there?

I might have an announcement to make next week. Maybe. We'll see. ;)
 

“Wow, I can’t believe you just ordered the most expensive thing on here,” Seungri shook his head as the waiter walked away.

“I gave you my entire day, hyung, I deserve proper payment for it.” Junhoe grinned and leaned back in the booth.

Seungri glared at him. “Yeah, remind me to never ever do that again.”

“Oh come on, hyung,” Junhoe replied, “you enjoyed having me around today, didn’t you?”

Seungri frowned. “Tolerated is the word you’re looking for, June-ya. I tolerated you.”

“You loved it,” Junhoe countered, “you know I make the best jokes, you were laughing all day.”

“Yeah, I was laughing at you, not with you,” Seungri replied, but he didn’t mean it. He really had enjoyed having Junhoe around. At tournaments when the whole club went, Junhoe usually sat away from the group with Hanbin. Seungri hadn’t realized how hilarious Junhoe could be at those things.

“I can’t believe you’re sitting there, lying to my face,” Junhoe said, faking a look of hurt, “my favourite hyung. I enjoyed spending all this time with you today, and when I express it to you, all you do is say that you didn’t cherish our time together. It makes me sad.”

Seungri couldn’t stop the laughter from bubbling up and Junhoe immediately joined in, and for a moment they both laughed loud like hyenas, only quieting when they received withering glares from a nearby pair of old ladies. Seungri kicked Junhoe under the table.

“Be quiet, brat, you’re annoying the ahjummas.”

Junhoe had to look away and press his fist to his mouth to try and keep quiet. He was in such a good mood after the day, which he was honestly a little surprised about. It was like watching Jinhwan lose so spectacularly in that first match had been a soothing balm for the rest of the day. Even watching Hanbin sit with Jinhwan hadn’t dampened his spirits. Hanbin just had a thing about trying to help those less fortunate than him, like people who couldn’t stand to walk by a chained up dog without stooping down to pet it for five minutes.

Jinhwan had looked like a pathetic little puppy dog, and of course Hanbin had fallen for it. Hook, line, sinker.

Junhoe didn’t begrudge him his time spent with Jinhwan. He’d had an enjoyable time with Seungri, after all. Hanbin could have his puppy dog time.

Seungri had won his second match, and though he’d lost the third one on points, he’d done very well, so they were both in good moods. He’d watched Jinhwan’s fights (though he’d pretended not to care) and while Jinhwan hadn’t quite recovered his usual form, he hadn’t embarrassed himself like he had in the first fight. He’d lost his second on points (though it had been decently close) and had won his third with an early submission that had put a smile on his face.

Junhoe had also smiled at first while watching him, until he remembered that he hated Jinhwan.

During the moments when Jinhwan was occupied, Hanbin had come over to sit with Junhoe and Seungri, and that had been enough to prove to Junhoe that Hanbin was still his. Part of being a good best friend was recognizing when your best friend needed to do something, and for whatever reason, Hanbin needed to be nice to Jinhwan. Junhoe had decided to live with that.

Junhoe wasn’t about to thank him for, it though. It’s not like he was worried about Jinhwan, deep down or anything. Maybe he missed him (sometimes) but that was only when he was feeling weak. Which wasn’t often, or anything.

The waitress brought them drinks and Junhoe took a sip of his Pepsi before noticing that Seungri was staring at him, like he was debating whether or not he was going to ask him a question.

“Stare all you want, hyung, you’ll never be as handsome as me.” Junhoe teased, and while Seungri grinned, he didn’t stop staring.

“I keep thinking about you today,” Seungri started, and Junhoe felt a little worried about where he was going, “sure, you were in a good mood most of the time. But I’m just curious about this whole Jinhwan situation.”

And there it was. Junhoe kept his expression neutral as he replied. “What about it?”

“What happened between you two? What did he do to make you so angry?” Seungri asked, eyes never leaving Junhoe’s face.

Junhoe couldn’t keep his gaze, though, and he looked at the wall, trying his best to not sound upset. “It’s nothing, we just aren’t friends anymore.”

Seungri shook his head, like he didn’t buy it. “Come on, something bad happened. I’ve known you long enough, June-ya. You’re not a hateful person. You like to pretend that you are, you hide behind this persona of someone who’s cold, aloof, and arrogant. But I know it’s not really you. You’re really a goofy kid who likes to laugh, and you like to make other people laugh.”

“What’s your point?” Junhoe replied, his tone clipped and annoyed, the way it got every time someone asked him a question about something he didn’t want to talk about.

“My point is that I’ve seen you talk about people you don’t like before, and you’re never like you were today. You mock people you don’t like, you laugh at them and insult them. But you’re not bothered by them. They don’t make you angry.”

“I mock you all the time, hyung, I guess you should take the hint, huh?” Junhoe snapped back, because he was wary of what Seungri was saying. He thought he’d been careful today. He thought he’d done a decent job of pretending to not care about Jinhwan.

Seungri ignored the jab. “Nearly every time you looked at Jinhwan, you had this look of intense hatred in your eyes, like you wanted to walk over there and snap his neck. But there were a few times when I caught you smiling at him, briefly. Almost like you forgot in the moment that you didn’t like him anymore.”

. How had Seungri seen that? How had Junhoe not noticed him noticing? Had he just been too focused on pretending to ignore Jinhwan, that instead he’d given him the majority of his attention?

“Junhoe? What happened between you two? How did you go from training with him at his club for weeks on end to hating him? What did he do?”

Junhoe panicked because he didn’t want to talk about it. He couldn’t tell Seungri the truth. It just wasn’t worth rehashing. “Nothing happened, okay? We’re just not friends.”

“Why don’t you want to tell me? I’m your hyung, you can talk to me about this kind of stuff. Maybe I could help.”

Junhoe frowned and gripped his glass tightly in one hand, the other hand balling into a fist on his leg. “It’s none of your business, hyung.”

“It is so my business,” Seungri shot back, “this is serious, I’ve never seen you like this before. I’m worried about you.”

No, no, no. He was not going to get ered into Seungri’s attempts at concern. No way. Not happening. “Look, he’s just an , okay? And today he got what he had coming to him.”

“What do you mean, he got what he had coming to him? What the hell did he do? I didn’t think it was this serious at first today, but you’re really upset. Why don’t you want to talk about it? I saw Hanbin sitting with him today. Why is Hanbin still friends with him, but you’re not? How are you okay with that?”

Junhoe was seconds away from storming out of the restaurant, but he took a deep breath and stayed calm. Seungri was just curious because he’d never seen him this angry before. He was right, after all. Usually Junhoe didn’t get so heated unless he was feuding with someone he actually cared about.

Junhoe didn’t answer right away, and Seungri just continued to stare at him, curious eyes raking him over for an explanation, when suddenly it came to him.

“Holy , Junhoe…” Seungri left it hanging for a second, his mouth wide open in surprise.

Junhoe looked at him, annoyed and ready to tell him off. “What?”

Seungri wasn’t bothered by the rude tone, though. “You and Jinhwan,” he replied, leaving it open again, shaking his head when he saw Junhoe blush and look away, and that sealed it for him. He leaned forward on the table, his voice low. “You and Jinhwan were dating, weren’t you?”

Junhoe could actually feel himself blushing at the question, and he cursed his body for giving him away. But Seungri was wrong about that little piece, at least. “We were not dating, hyung.”

“I don’t believe that,” Seungri replied, “you were dating and he ed up, so you’re angry at him. That’s why Hanbin was with him today. Because he’s friends with Hanbin’s boyfriend. I remember you whining about that months ago. Hanbin is still invested in him, and he’s trying to get you guys back together, right?”

“You’re wrong,” Junhoe replied, though he couldn’t blame Seungri for making that guess. Junhoe had wanted it to be true, partially, at least.

“What did he do to you? Did he cheat on you?” Seungri wouldn’t drop it, though, certain he’d guessed correctly.

“He lied to me, okay? About something really important.” Junhoe couldn’t stop himself from explaining it.

“What was it?”

Junhoe frowned and sat back, his arms crossed over his chest. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Seungri’s expression softened, and Junhoe was reminded of the way Hanbin had looked at him that night when he’d admitted that he missed Jinhwan. (The morning after he’d sworn to himself that he’d never be that weak again, and he hadn’t been.) Junhoe wanted to be angry about it, but instead he just felt kind of sad.

“Junhoe-ya? You can tell me about it, if you’re upset.”

“Hyung, thank you for your concern, but really, I’m fine. You kicked his today, that’s all I really wanted.” Junhoe was grateful he had the video, so he could watch it again and again.

“I didn’t kick his ,” Seungri replied, his tone almost sad, “he kicked his own . I was confused about why he was so terrible, but I understand now.”

Junhoe took a sip of his Pepsi, because his eyes felt like they were watering, which was so not cool. He wasn’t going to be emotional about this, no matter how many questions Seungri asked.

“It was you, wasn’t it? He didn’t think you’d be there, and then you were, and he couldn’t think about the fight. He was too distracted by you.”

Junhoe wasn’t sure if Seungri was trying to blame him for it, but he took it poorly anyway. “Well that’s his own fault for not being able to concentrate,” Junhoe replied in a snarl, “I didn’t hold a gun to his head and tell him to fight like crap. He did that himself.”

There was silence for a few seconds, neither of them saying anything. Seungri broke it.

“Are you really not going to tell me what happened? I won’t say anything to anyone, it’ll stay between us.” Junhoe shook his head and kept his gaze averted. “Don’t you trust me, Junhoe-ya? I just want to help.”

Junhoe bit his lip, unsure of how to respond. But then the waitress appeared with their food, and when she left Junhoe looked across the table at Seungri.

“Fine. If you want to know what happened between us, I’ll tell you. I don’t need any advice, though. I’m perfectly fine, okay?”

Seungri nodded and pulled his bowl in closer. “Okay. Talk away, and if you want commentary, let me know. Otherwise I promise I’ll just listen, and that’s it.”

“You promise?” Junhoe asked, and Seungri promised again, and Junhoe started the whole story from the beginning.
 

“What do you want for your birthday, hyung?”

Jinhwan didn’t answer Hanbin’s question right away, he just looked at the wall, thinking of his options. There was honestly only one thing he wanted, but it wasn’t a tangible gift that anyone could give. He looked back at the phone screen and decided to ask for as much of it as he could get, anyway.

“I want to talk to Junhoe, face to face,” Jinhwan said, frowning when Hanbin laughed at him. “I’m serious, okay? It’s been two weeks since the tournament, you said he’s calmed down a lot. I’m not expecting him to forgive me or anything. I just want to be able to apologize fully to him, without interruption. Do you think that’s possible?”

Hanbin sighed and chewed on his lip before answering. “I don’t know, honestly. I’ll see what I can do, though, okay?”

“I know,” Jinhwan replied, and he felt a little bad for asking, “if you don’t think it can happen, then I don’t know. Promise me you’ll come visit me in the US?”

“I can’t promise you something for your birthday,” Hanbin whined, “if I can’t pull off Junhoe, I’ll buy you something Woody related, okay?”

Jinhwan grinned because as soon as Hanbin had mentioned his favourite character, Bobby had entered the room and frowned.

“Did you hear that, Jiwon? Hanbin’s gonna give me a Woody for my birthday.” Jinhwan watched as Bobby tried not to laugh, only to fail miserably. He dropped onto the bed next to Jinhwan and reached for his phone.

“Can I have my boyfriend back, please? Before you coerce him into doing something he shouldn’t be doing with someone who isn’t his boyfriend?” Bobby joked, shaking his head at the both of them.

“We were talking about Woody from Toy Story!” Hanbin said.

“Ah, we were?” Jinhwan teased. “Disappointing, I thought you were talking about something else.”

They all giggled at the comment, and Jinhwan cuddled into Bobby’s side. He was feeling better these days after the dramatic reunion of two weeks ago with Junhoe. He’d been working extra classes with Youngbae as an apology for his poor performance, and he felt like he had his full support again. Thinking about Junhoe still made him sad, but it wasn’t clouding his brain anymore the way it had for a while.

But his birthday was approaching, and he really wanted an opportunity to just say everything he wanted to say to Junhoe. No excuses for his behaviour, just straight up apologies. He was hoping that Hanbin would be able to convince Junhoe to hear him out, but he had to be prepared for a no, as well.

He laid there with Bobby while he and Hanbin talked, content to just listen in. They were discussing plans to go on a double date with Donghyuk and Yunhyeong, and Jinhwan was happy for them, but at the same time he couldn’t help but think of what could have been, if he hadn’t been such an idiot. That double date could have been a triple date. So many lost opportunities for happy memories before he had to leave.

Some lessons needed to be learned the hard way, though, and he was learning his now.
 

“Hey, you wanna stay over on Tuesday? My dad’s got a business meeting in Tokyo, and mom’s going with him for the night.”

“Do I have to?” Junhoe replied, which in his language meant of course I will, why are you even asking?

“Yes, you are contractually obligated to stay over and help me keep Hanbyul entertained,” Hanbin stated, “she’ll probably make you watch her dance a dozen times. So be ready for that.”

“I don’t remember ever signing this contract,” Junhoe said, “sounds fraudulent to me.”

“I have it here with me, wanna see it?” Hanbin asked, and when Junhoe nodded, Hanbin took out a sheet of paper, grabbed Junhoe’s hand that was holding his pen, and physically forced him to scribble on the page. “Here you go,” Hanbin said as he pushed the paper in front of him, “the contract is in invisible ink, so you can’t read it. But you just signed it.”

Junhoe shook his head. “Fraudulent. You made me sign it under duress, it’s not binding.”

Hanbin took the paper back, folding it up and slipping it into his bag. “You’re staying over on Tuesday, and if you even try to get out of it, I’ll call my lawyer.”

“It won’t stand up in a court of law. I mean, that’s not even my real signature, it’s just a scribble.”

Hanbin waved his comment off. “Don’t bore me with technicalities, it’s binding if I say it’s binding. That’s how our relationship works.”

“I don’t remember agreeing to that either,” Junhoe replied, “I should get myself a new best friend.”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” Hanbin said, smiling at him, “you’ll never be able to replace me, and you know it.”

“Doesn’t mean I won’t try,” Junhoe answered, “Donghyuk’s looking good these days.”

“Donghyuk’s too enamoured with his new boyfriend, he won’t have time for you.” Hanbin took out his phone, typing a message while Junhoe frowned at him.

“You’re kind of right about that, actually. He never wants to do anything without Yunhyeong hyung, it’s annoying.” Junhoe was honestly happy for Donghyuk and Yunhyeong, but he’d still complain anyway, just for the fun of it.

“Young love, they’re so sweet.” Hanbin joked, and then hit send on his message.

-ok hyung tuesday night is op: apologize to june!! my parents are gone to tokyo for the night and hes coming over to help me watch hanbyul so come over around 730 ok? thats the best i can do for you

Hanbin wasn’t sure if Junhoe would actually want to listen to Jinhwan, but he wouldn’t really have a choice, not with Hanbyul there. Hanbin knew it was a dirty tactic to use, but the situation called for drastic measures.
 

“Oppa! You did it wrong!” Hanbyul huffed and wagged her finger at Junhoe, who frowned back at her.

“It’s too hard, I can’t do it, Byul-ah!”

“Yes you can! Hanbin-ie oppa can do it.”

“Guess he’s better than me at girl group dances,” Junhoe replied.

“I’m better than you at everything, actually.” Hanbin sat down on the floor at Hanbyul’s feet, reaching out to pull her down onto his lap. “Junhoe just isn’t a very good student, is he, Byul?”

Hanbyul shook her head. “No, but it’s okay. Not everyone is meant to be a good dancer.”

Junhoe looked affronted. “Excuse me! I happen to be a very good dancer. Just not at girl group dances.”

Hanbyul frowned at his comment, before looking at Hanbin for confirmation. Hanbin grinned at her. “He’s good at one dance,” he replied, “the Michael Jackson dance.”

Hanbyul shook her head. “I don’t know that dance, oppa.”

“I can teach it to you,” Junhoe offered, “it’s pretty hard though, I don’t know if you can do it.”

“I can do anything!” Hanbyul replied sulkily, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I don’t know, Byul,” Junhoe said, “it’s very difficult.”

Hanbin whispered something in her ear, and she smiled at Junhoe before replying. “It can’t be that hard if you can do it, oppa.”

Junhoe flopped back dramatically on the floor as though he’d been shot, which made Hanbyul laugh.

“Byul, why don’t you go and show Junhoe the new nail polish you got on the weekend?” Hanbin suggested, grinning at Junhoe when Hanbyul hopped to her feet.

“Can I put makeup on him too?” Hanbyul asked, and Hanbin smiled back at her.

“Don’t ask me, ask him.”

Hanbyul turned to look hopefully at Junhoe, who smiled back at her. Hanbin could see through the fake expression though, and he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

“Of course you can, you know I can’t say no to you. Why don’t you go get set up and I’ll be there in a minute, okay?” Hanbyul nodded excitedly and took off for her bedroom, leaving Junhoe glaring a hole into Hanbin’s head.

“You just had to suggest that, didn’t you?” Hanbin smiled back at him. “I can’t get one makeup free night at your place, can I?”

Hanbin kept his smile in place as he shook his head. “You’ll never be free.” He stood up and walked over to Junhoe, offering his hand to help pull him up from the floor. “You’ll be happy to know that she’s gotten a lot better with the mascara.”

“I ing hate you, Hanbin.”

Hanbin patted his cheek. “Love you too! I have to start dinner, so I’ll be in to check soon. Can’t wait to see what colour she does this time.”

Junhoe shoved him away before heading down the hall to Hanbyul’s bedrooom, and as soon as he was out of sight Hanbin took out his phone. There was a message from Jinhwan, saying that he was on his way. Hanbin really hoped this plan was going to work, because he wanted both of his friends to be able to find a little more peace about the situation.

He grabbed the food his mother had left him out of the fridge and the stove, readying everything before going to check on Junhoe and Hanbyul. Junhoe was holding his hand out, allowing Hanbyul to paint his fingernails. As much as Junhoe liked to complain about his makeovers with Hanbyul, Hanbin knew that he actually really enjoyed it.

“Ah, it looks good already,” Hanbin said, grinning when Junhoe glared at him.

“I’m doing them different colours!” Hanbyul exclaimed, and Hanbin came closer to see which ones she’d picked.

“Oh, those are good choices, Byul-ah! You’re so good at picking complementary colours, isn’t she, Junhoe?” Hanbin grinned while Junhoe fake smiled at him.

“She’s the best. My nails have never looked better.” He laughed for real at his comment, and Hanbyul laughed too. Hanbin smiled, because he was just relieved that Junhoe was in such a good mood.

He stayed with them until the oven dinged, and when he left the room Hanbyul was putting blush on Junhoe’s cheeks. The timing was perfect for Jinhwan to get here, and Hanbin checked his phone again. Nothing yet, but by the time he got to the kitchen Jinhwan was buzzing him from the lobby and Hanbin let him in. He put dinner in the oven and not long after that Jinhwan was at the door.

“Thank you for this,” Jinhwan greeted him, toeing off his shoes, “are you sure he’s ready?”

Hanbin shrugged. “Honestly I don’t know, but Byul’s doing his makeup right now and she always puts him in a soft mood. So I think this is as good as you’re going to get, hyung.”

Jinhwan nodded and the next second he pulled Hanbin into a hug. He really didn’t want to mess up their night, but Hanbin wouldn’t have told him to come over if he suspected that Junhoe would react in anger. He followed Hanbin down the hall to Hanbyul’s room.

“Hey guys, guess what?” Hanbin stood in the doorway, waiting until he had their attention. “We have a visitor!”

Hanbyul looked excited, while Junhoe looked wary. Hanbin smiled at his sister quickly before locking eyes with Junhoe for a moment, his expression serious. But then he smiled again and entered the room, and finally Jinhwan poked his head around the doorframe.

“Jinhwan-ie oppa!” Hanbyul’s face lit up in a smile and she clapped her hands, excited to see him. But Hanbin was watching Junhoe’s face, and he worried at the brief flash of betrayal that crossed it. But it was replaced with something else, some sort of quiet resignation. Hanbin really hoped he wasn’t pushing too hard.

“Oppa, come and sit down!” Hanbyul rushed to Jinhwan, hugging him briefly before grabbing his hand and pulling him into the room. “Oppa, can I paint your fingernails? Junhoe oppa let me paint his, they look so pretty, look!” She reached for Junhoe’s hand, pulling it forward so Jinhwan could see the multicoloured fingernails.

“Wow, you did such a good job, Byul-ah!” Jinhwan replied, his eyes on Junhoe’s hands. He wanted to look at his face, but he was a little too nervous.

“Thank you, oppa. Sit down next to Junhoe oppa, okay? I can do yours after I finish with his.” Hanbyul directed him, and he followed. Junhoe said nothing, and the fact that he wasn’t leaving seemed to be positive.

“I have to go and cook the food, but you guys stay here, okay? Byul, you’re in charge.” Hanbin smiled at her before looking between the other two. Jinhwan’s expression was worried but grateful, while Junhoe’s… Hanbin still wasn’t sure about Junhoe.

But he left them alone and the room was quiet for a moment while Hanbyul put some eye shadow on Junhoe. Jinhwan wanted to speak, but he couldn’t figure out what to say to break the silence.

Junhoe spoke instead. “How’s the planning going for California?” His voice was strained, but Hanbyul didn’t seem to notice.

“It’s good,” Jinhwan replied, nervous but hopeful because Junhoe had spoken first, “I got my official acceptance letter, so it’s definitely happening.” Junhoe just nodded, his face drawn tight.

“Are you going somewhere, oppa?” Hanbyul asked, pausing with her makeup.

Jinhwan looked at her and nodded. “I’m moving away after school is over,” he said, and felt terribly guilty for it when her expression dropped.

“Where are you going?” She asked, abandoning her makeup for the moment.

Jinhwan wished he didn’t have to tell her, but there was no getting around it. “I’m moving to America.”

She pouted. “Why are you going?”

Jinhwan wasn’t sure how to explain it to her, maybe if he just put it in the simplest terms she’d get it. “I have to go to a special school.”

“Do you want to go to that school?” She asked, and Jinhwan nodded. Then she smiled. “I’m going to miss you, oppa!” She reached her arms out and hugged his leg, and Jinhwan almost couldn’t believe that Hanbin had neglected to tell her about this. What if she started crying? It would be counter-productive to his whole reason for coming over.

“But I’m happy for you,” she said, “if you’re happy, then I should be happy too, that’s what my mom says. That just because someone does something you don’t like, if they’re happy, then you should be happy for them. So I’m happy for you, oppa.”

Jinhwan could feel his eyes tear up already, amazed at the simplicity of her statement. “Byul-ah, that’s so sweet of you.”

Hanbyul looked up at him and smiled. “It’s important to be happy for people, especially if you like them! Everyone should be happy, right oppa?”

Jinhwan wasn’t sure that it was appropriate for him to be answering that question, but he nodded anyway. “I think you’re right. But sometimes it’s hard to make yourself be happy.”

Hanbyul nodded. “Yes it is, oppa. I don’t want you to leave, but if you have to, then I’m going to be happy for you.”

Jinhwan was about to reply, but Junhoe cut him off.

“Byul-ah, can you go see if your brother needs your help?”

Jinhwan was surprised by his suggestion. Surprised, but terrified as well.

Hanbyul didn’t seem bothered though and skipped out of the room, and then it was just the two of them. Junhoe had an idea of what he wanted to say, because there was a lot on his mind. But Jinhwan spoke first.

“Junhoe,” he began, and Junhoe was surprised when a moment later Jinhwan was suddenly on the floor before him, his head bowed low. “I’m sorry for hurting you. Please know that it was never my intention, and I’ve regretted my decisions every day since then.”

Junhoe was so shocked that he said nothing.

“I don’t expect you to accept my apology, I know that I don’t deserve it. But please don’t spend your days being angry and hating me. Not for me, but for you.” Jinhwan paused then, not because he was searching for words, but because his lip was quivering so much. He wanted to get through his speech before he started crying, because he didn’t want Junhoe to possibly be swayed by tears. But he couldn’t help them.

Junhoe didn't say anything. There was something there in Jinhwan's voice that held him, kept him waiting for more. Maybe he was just being weak again. Or maybe it wasn't weakness at all.

Jinhwan took a deep breath before saying more. He wanted to raise his head to meet Junhoe's eyes, but he was afraid there would be nothing but anger in them. “You shouldn’t be stuck being angry at someone who hurt you. You deserve to be happy, and you should focus on the things that make you happy.”

Junhoe was still completely caught off guard at the heartfelt apology that he couldn’t stop himself before blurting out his response. “You make me happy, hyung.” Jinhwan was clearly surprised to hear it, as his head snapped up and his eyes focused on Junhoe’s face. Junhoe blushed when he realized what he’d said, and he scowled and looked away. “Made me happy, okay, you made me happy.”

Jinhwan smiled at the slip up. “Can you just remember me that way, as someone who made you happy once? You’ll find someone who makes you even happier one day. But please don’t remember me in anger. You deserve better than that.”

Junhoe glared at him, annoyed because of his own feelings of vulnerability. “That would be a lot easier to do if I didn’t have all of this anger sitting in the way, okay? Because I can’t just let things go, I’m not like that.” He paused to take a deep breath and pinch his arm. He wasn’t going to cry, this wasn’t worth crying over. “You made me really happy, hyung, but then you really hurt me. I can’t just let that go. You’d need to make me happy again, you know? I’d have to have something to remember, something good, that happened after being hurt. Because I always think of the most recent things first. And the most recent thing you did was really ty. I can’t just forgive you and walk away. I’m angry.”

Jinhwan nodded, like he understood, and then suddenly he did understand, but he was afraid of suggesting it. Afraid that Junhoe wasn’t ready to hear it yet. “Junhoe-ya, we could do that. It’s not too late.”

Junhoe looked at him with an expression of confusion. “Do what, hyung?” But his eyes stayed on Jinhwan, like he was waiting desperately for his answer.

“Start over.” Jinhwan answered with a shaky voice as he reached out to take Junhoe’s hands. He was surprised when Junhoe let him. “I’m still here for another few months, right? And this time we know for sure that I’m going, we know it’s coming. But it’s not here yet. And maybe, if you wanted to, maybe we could actually try this time. Properly.”

Junhoe wasn’t sure what to say. Was Jinhwan suggesting what he thought he was suggesting? That they actually date before he left? It would only be for a few months, but maybe that would be enough. He still had all of these emotions left over, all of these feelings he’d never allowed himself to fully feel before because he wasn’t supposed to be feeling them. Maybe it would help. Maybe it wouldn’t. But it had to be better than being angry, right? It had to be better than ignoring him.

It was like that stupid saying, wasn’t it? It’s better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.

“Junhoe?” Jinhwan held his hands and kept his eyes focused on Junhoe’s face, waiting for an answer. It was all stuck on this moment, wasn’t it? Junhoe looked down at him then with glassy eyes and a steeled expression, and he nodded. Jinhwan felt like the air had been knocked out of him and for a moment he couldn’t speak. But then he found his breath again, because he had to make sure.

“Would you be my boyfriend?”

Junhoe frowned, torn between wanting to answer and wanting to turn away to protect his own pride. But his answer would be the same either way. He kept his eyes on Jinhwan and opened his mouth, croaking out a throaty yes that immediately brought a smile to Jinhwan’s face.

Junhoe couldn’t help but feel annoyed.

Jinhwan bounced up onto the bed next to him, still holding his hands, his grateful smile turning into the most annoying smug expression. “Have I ever told you how pretty you look with makeup?” Jinhwan teased, unable to help himself, like his brain couldn’t compute what they’d just agreed to. Not yet, at any rate.

Junhoe fumed and looked back at him and his expression made Jinhwan laugh. Jinhwan was still holding his hands and he squeezed them tighter, and Junhoe suddenly felt a flood of emotion overtake him at how happy Jinhwan looked, sitting next to him. His thoughts were filled with the truth, even if might make him a little angry.

Yes, you make me happy, and being with you is enough right now.

But then of course his mouth had to go and screw it up. “You’re so annoying, hyung.”

But Jinhwan could read him in the moment, and he knew what Junhoe was trying to say: I missed you; welcome back.

Suddenly Jinhwan let go of his hands and instead his fingers traced over Junhoe’s cheeks and back around his head, and then they were kissing, properly, like they’d never allowed themselves to kiss each other before. It was a kiss filled to the brim with emotion, with feelings, and Junhoe felt like this was exactly what he needed to let go of the anger. It might not completely disappear right away, but he needed this, needed to kiss Jinhwan like this.

He didn’t know how long they’d been kissing until suddenly they were interrupted by Hanbyul’s loud gasp.

“Are you going to get married too?”

They pulled apart comically fast, both sets of eyes trained on Hanbyul, who was smiling at them from the door.

Hanbyul just carried on. “When you kiss like that it means you’re supposed to get married!”

Junhoe was the first to recover. “I thought I was supposed to marry you when you got older?”

Hanbyul scrunched her face up at him. “No, you’re too old, and boys are gross! I already told my friend from school, Chaesul, that we’re going to get married.”

Junhoe just nodded at her, at a loss for how else to react. Jinhwan was giggling next to him, like he found the whole situation hilarious. Maybe it was.

“Hanbin-ie oppa told me to tell you that dinner is ready. So you have to come! Okay?”

They both nodded at her, but neither of them made a move to get off the bed. She huffed and looked slightly annoyed.

Jinhwan diffused her first. “We’ll be right out, okay? Just give us a minute first.”

Hanbyul nodded. “Okay. Are you going to kiss again?”

Junhoe felt himself blush, but Jinhwan grinned at her. “Yeah, I think we are. Just one more, okay? Then we’ll come out for dinner.”

Hanbyul nodded and left, and then they were alone again.

Junhoe looked at Jinhwan, who grinned at him and moved closer. “I’m sorry, I think I smudged your lipstick a little.”

Junhoe glared at him. “Ugh, you’re so annoying, hyung.”

But Jinhwan was all smiles. “You said that already.”

“Well you are!” Junhoe replied, and he honestly did feel a little annoyed. But he also felt happy. Which annoyed him even more.

Jinhwan was still smiling, though, and he took one of Junhoe’s hands in his own again. “I’m not half as annoying as you.”

“Bull, you’re easily the most annoying person I know.” Junhoe grumbled, and then his phone beeped and he looked down at a message from Hanbin.

-get your out here i didnt slave away over the stove for you to eat jinans face instead!!!!

Junhoe glared at his phone. “Make that the second most annoying person I know. Hanbin is officially more annoying than you.”

Jinhwan laughed and leaned closer to him, keeping true to his word and kissing him again. Junhoe was a little more prepared for it this time, and they spent a minute together, just kissing. When Jinhwan finally pulled away and stood up, Junhoe didn’t even realize he was all smiles as he looked up at him. He wasn’t sure if he’d still feel this happy later, or if he’d struggle to put it all behind him. But right now, in the moment, this felt right, it felt like this was what he was supposed to be doing.

It was kind of like jiu jitsu, if he thought about it. He’d been in control for the past month, constantly deflecting any attempt of Jinhwan’s to get a hold on him. But sometimes all it took was a lapse in concentration and suddenly you found yourself caught in someone else’s grip. Jinhwan was a more experienced fighter than he was, not only in jiu jitsu, but in life as well. He’d bided his time, he’d waited until the right moment came, and then he’d passed the guard.

Junhoe didn’t mind giving up control. Not this time.