The right time came the following morning over breakfast. It was Christmas Eve, and when he’d gone to sleep the night before Jinhwan had felt certain that he was going to wait until after Christmas day to talk to his mother about his plans. But there was just something about the moment that compelled his thoughts to come out now. Everything felt peaceful, the energy felt right, like they would both be able to listen comfortably to each other.

“Hey, mom? There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

She looked at him over the table, and it was like she’d been expecting this, like she knew it was coming. “This isn’t about your father, is it?” He still hadn’t given her his final decision on that yet.

He shook his head. “No. Well, it kind of is, in a way. It’s about jiu jitsu.” He waited for a moment, watched her expression. She wasn’t angry, didn’t immediately shut off the way she usually did when he tried to bring it up.

Instead she just looked relieved. “Of course. I was wondering when you would bring it up.”

He was surprised by her smile. “I was going to wait until after Christmas.”

She reached over to pat his hand. “Let’s talk now. Your sister and I have talked about it recently. Well, it wasn’t exactly a pleasant conversation. It was mostly your sister yelling at me, and then we refused to speak to each other for a week.”

Jinhwan stared at her in shock. Why hadn’t Seiyeon said anything to him? He didn’t have a chance to say anything before his mother carried on.

“I want to apologize to you, for the way I’ve always treated it, and you. It’s difficult to explain, but I had my reasons for being angry, none of which were ever your fault, and I never should taken my feelings out on you.”

“I understand,” Jinhwan cut in, because he didn’t just want to listen, he wanted her to believe that he understood. “It was grandpa, right? I know he blamed you for everything with dad.”

She looked surprised. “How did you know that?”

“Seiyeon told me, though I didn’t want to understand it at first. I didn’t care, I was hurt, and I was angry, and you were the easiest person for me to be angry at.” The surprised look on his mother’s face softened at his explanation.

“Of course, your sister always wanted to tell you everything. That was part of our argument, she was angry with me for never talking to you about your grandfather, and what happened. I thought I was protecting you all of those years, but of course you figured it all out anyway.”

Jinhwan felt relieved that they were talking so easily about it now, neither of them getting upset. It gave him hope that it was going to go well. “It took me a while, though. But that’s part of the reason why I don’t want to see dad. I made up my mind, and I won’t see him, not now, not for a while.” She nodded, accepting his decision with a bit of relief. “All along he should have been the person I was angry at, but I was angry at you instead. And that just made it easier for you to hold on to your own feelings.”

“It did. Neither of us were willing to understand to one another.”

“I don’t think it was that we weren’t able to. I think we just didn’t want to. Because if we did, then it would mean confronting what what had really happened, and then we’d both be hurt, thinking about how we let him ruin all of those years for us.” Jinhwan had thought about that last night after discussing the whole thing with Eric. He’d thought about their motivations for holding it all against each other instead of coming together.

“Ah, you’re probably right about that. Still, though, I’m sorry for all of it. You were a child, and I was your mother, and I should have known better, I should have done more for you. I never should have let it go this long. I clung to what I could control, to what was ours, the music. I didn’t want something that came from your grandfather to be such an important part of you. I felt betrayed.” Even with tears in her eyes, she looked relieved to say it out loud.

Jinhwan was happy to hear her say it. Even though the feelings were obvious, there was a power in words, in hearing them spoken out loud. You couldn’t properly heal a wound until you broke it open and aired it out.

“I know, and maybe if I’d understood how you felt sooner, I would have tried something different. Instead I just tried to force you to support me by making you feel guilty. And I know you’re going to say that I was a kid and I was hurt, but that doesn’t make it okay either. I’ve said a lot of hurtful things to you the past few years, and I’m sorry too.”

His mother wiped a few tears from her eyes, and Jinhwan could feel his own threatening to spill out too. As nice as it felt to hear her make her own admissions, it felt equally as freeing for him to say everything that he was saying.

“Well, I accept your apology for all the things you’ve said, and I appreciate your willingness to ask for that apology. It shows a great maturity that I wouldn’t have expected from you. I’m proud to witness it.”

That made Jinhwan’s own tears start to spill. “I forgive you too, for not being there for me. But I want you to be there now. I need you to be there now. I want you to feel like this is something that’s part of me, maybe I only started it because of grandpa, but it’s mine now, it’s an integral part of me. It’s important to who I am. I want to share it with you.” Jinhwan blinked back the tears in his eyes, and his heart felt a million times lighter now, asking her to finally be a part of his jiu jitsu life. He knew she’d say yes, could see it in her eyes that she wanted to be there for him now.

“Of course, sweetheart. Of course.” She rose out of her chair, and Jinhwan rose from his, and they wrapped their arms around each other tightly.

Jinhwan couldn’t believe how easy it had been, how quick and simple the conversation had gone. Beyond that, though, was how suddenly it healed everything between them. All of the bitterness and anger and hurt feelings he’d kept bottled up towards his mother were gone, dissipated into the very air around him.

It was the kind of forgiveness he was happy to give his mother, but one that his father didn’t deserve. He would gain nothing by forgiving him. But forgiving his mother gained him all of those years back. He’d remember the good parts and let the bad parts go, let them be forgotten.

It took them a few minutes before they could stop crying, and when they did they just smiled at each other, grateful to finally put the issue to rest.

“I love you, Jinhwan. I’m very proud of the man you’ve become. You’ve grown so much.”

Jinhwan groaned at the comment, even though it was of course welcome. “I love you too. Thank you for everything you said.”

“I know that’s not all, though. Seiyeon told me about your future plans. We need to talk about those.”

Jinhwan nodded, and he felt hopeful for the first time that he’d get the answer he wanted. “Let’s go sit outside, okay?” They went to sit on the back patio again, and Jinhwan felt calmed looking at the ocean. Way on the other side of it was where he wanted to go, if she’d let him.

“Before you get started, I just want to say that I can’t make any promises to you about any of this. I’m willing to listen, but I do have to be practical. I won’t shut anything down without giving you the opportunity to explain. That’s all I can promise.”

That was enough.

“As long as you listen, that’s all that matters. I’ve done the research, so I have it all ready.” He spent the next while explaining everything to her, about USCT, about how just because he wanted to go for jiu jitsu, it didn’t mean he was abandoning music. He told her about the scholarship opportunities, about the prestige of the school. He told her about Eric’s contacts, about the money he’s been saving from his own training.

But most important was why.

“I love music, and I love what it can do for people. But jiu jitsu isn’t just about fighting, even though the competition is a big part, and it is important to me. I train hard, and I feel good when I win matches, because they’re not easy. It’s a big test of myself, constantly testing, constantly learning new things. If I hadn’t gotten into it, I know I’d be a different person today. Jiu jitsu made me confident in myself, it made me believe in myself in a way I hadn’t been able to. And now, when I train the kids at my club, it reminds me of myself. A lot of them are like new little versions of me, they’re weak little kids who get pushed around, some of them get bullied. And I remember what that was like.”

His mother teared up again, because she remembered too. She remembered the phone calls home when he’d first moved, the pleas to let him go home again.

“At first I was content enough when I met Bobby, and he acted like my bodyguard, he’d always keep guys from bugging me. But when I learned how to stand up for myself, I’d never felt better. And I want to do that for other kids, I want to be that person that makes them realize that they don’t need someone else to protect them. That if they work hard and believe in themselves, they can learn how to protect themselves, and maybe they can even protect other people. It’s the best feeling, honestly, to have some kid that I’ve been training come running up to me, telling me about how that bully that’s been bothering them at school doesn’t bother them anymore. How they have friends now, because they finally felt confident enough to show other kids what they’re like. I love music, mom, but I can’t help anyone with music. And I want to help people. That’s why I want to do this.”

His explanation had her crying again, but they were proud tears, because she thought his reason was beautiful. “Alright. I can see how much this means to you, and I’m touched by everything about it. But I can’t commit to anything now. You and I need to sit down and really look over the logistics of everything, okay? This is a big financial undertaking, so I can’t just agree to it without knowing everything.”

Jinhwan bit his cheek to keep from crying. She hadn’t said no. He hadn’t expected a yes right away anyway, because his mother was more responsible than that. But she was willing to look into it, willing to make it work if possible. That was all he’d wanted.

“Okay, I have a lot of stuff put together already.”

She smiled at him and reached over to take his hand. “Let’s look at it after Christmas, okay? We’ll sit down together, you and I, for a whole day and look into the full logistics. And if it works out, then we’ll go for it. But you have to promise me that you’ll work as hard as you can. It’ll be difficult for you, being on your own. You’ve never been alone before.”

“I know. Honestly I’m kind of scared, I’ll have to leave everyone.” It felt good to admit the fear to his mother, and she slid closer to him, patted his cheek and squeezed his hand.

“You can do it, though. You’re strong, sweetheart.”

He nodded. “I know it’s stupid to be upset over this, there are so many people who go through worse things in their life. And here I am, afraid because I have to leave my friends.”

“Oh baby, there will always be someone somewhere who has it worse than you. Don’t ever let that diminish your own feelings, though. You’re allowed to be afraid, and you’re allowed to be sad about leaving people behind. Don’t feel guilty about feeling bad just because someone has it worse. Just work harder, so the suffering is worth it in the end.”

Her words were comforting, and he stored them away. “Thanks, mom. I have to do it, though, I’ll be disappointed in myself if I don’t try.”

They stay together, watching gulls circling over the ocean. They stay there until Seiyeon joins them, and then the crying starts all over again when she hears the news.
 

“So, remember a while back, when I told you about the whole friends with benefits things?” Junhoe asked, picking nervously at his jeans. He was out with Yunhyeong, having a coffee at a cafe. He’d been thinking non-stop about he and Jinhwan over Christmas (partially because he’d hung out a few times with Hanbin and Bobby, and watching them be disgusting with each other had gotten him thinking about Jinhwan) and he needed to talk to someone outside of his immediate circle about it. Yunhyeong still didn’t know who the friend was, after all.

“Yeah, what about it?” Yunhyeong tried not to sound too excited, but in reality he was hoping that Junhoe was finally going to admit it to him. He knew it was Jinhwan, it couldn’t possibly be anyone else.

“Well, what happens when it’s not casual anymore? Like, maybe one person wants it to be something more. Do you think that’s a good idea?”

Yunhyeong stared at him in shock for a moment. Had Junhoe fallen for Jinhwan? He probably wouldn’t admit it if he straight out asked him, because Junhoe liked to be evasive, but he wouldn’t be asking if it were Jinhwan interested in him. “Well, how does the other person feel?”

“The other person doesn’t know,” Junhoe replied, “like, should the interested party say something? And how? Because, like, you made a pact to not get that interested. But then you did. What if it ruins everything? Maybe you just shouldn’t say anything and keep enjoying what you’re doing. What would you do?”

Yunhyeong took a sip of his coffee just to buy himself some time. On one hand, he was tempted to tease Junhoe, just for fun. Maybe he should be serious, though. Junhoe had gone out of his way to call him to hang out, after all. If he wasn’t asking his friends for advice, Yunhyeong probably shouldn’t with him right now.

“What would I do if I were the interested party, right?” He asked, and Junhoe nodded. Just to be sure it was Junhoe who had the feelings. “Well, I guess I’d have to really look at the whole situation. Was there a reason why it wasn’t going to be serious at first? I’d try to think about the other person, about why they might not want to get serious.”

“Okay, so you do that, and you think they probably only said that because they didn’t want any drama in your group of friends. That’s the only thing you can think of that would make any sense. Because it feels like they’re super into you.” Junhoe was so desperate for some advice that he wasn’t really doing his best to try and hide his situation.

“How do you know they’re super into you? Do you know them well enough to be sure about that? How do you know you’re not wrong?”

Junhoe shrugged. “Well, you can tell how different they act now compared to how they acted at first. It just feels like you’re actually dating instead of just messing around.”

“Well, if I was that sure, I’d probably talk to them about it. Tell them that I think that there’s something there between us, and that we should talk about it. I wouldn’t demand that anything changes, but I’d ask them what they thought.”

Junhoe nodded and was quiet for a moment, seeming to contemplate the answer. “That’s what I was thinking. Like, I won’t say that we should for sure change things, but that it already feels different. I just don’t know how I’d react if I told him, and then he said he didn’t want to actually date me.” Junhoe paused to take a sip of his coffee, and when his eyes met Yunhyeong’s they widened in a brief panic and he almost spat his coffee out. “I mean, if I were the one in that position. I’m not saying that I am. Just trying to think of everyone involved, you know?”

Yunhyeong had the hardest time not teasing him. He was swayed only by the fact that Junhoe was trusting him enough to talk to about this. He didn’t want to disrupt that trust by laughing at him. So he ignored Junhoe’s frantic attempt at denying his involvement. “I guess, if I were worried about their response, I’d have to really think about what’s important to me. Because they might say they don’t want to date me, and they might say we can still do the casual thing, but I’m sure it would change how they feel. It might make the other person awkward. So I’d have to decide what’s more important to me: taking a chance at a real relationship, or just preserving what’s already there so it doesn’t get spoiled.”

“But how do you figure that out? How do you decide what’s more important?” That was the crux of Junhoe’s problem. He didn’t want to ruin what he already had, because even though he probably wouldn’t admit it to anyone, he’d be devastated if he messed things up. He’d rather half-date Jinhwan than take a chance and be rejected. But on the other hand, he’d never wanted to be in a relationship with anyone so bad before. He wanted to bring Jinhwan home and introduce him to his family as his boyfriend, and not just his friend. He wanted to be part of that extended family with Bobby’s parents, he wanted Bobby’s mom to treat him the way she treated Hanbin.

He just wanted everything. Jinhwan had to want that too, didn’t he? He couldn’t possibly be content with what they were doing. Unless he just didn’t like him that much.

Yunhyeong wasn’t really sure what to say. He kind of was in a similar situation right now, but it was different, he still understood about wanting something he wasn’t sure he could have. But how do you decide what’s really the best option? Love had the ability to mess so many things up. “Honestly, I don’t know. I guess you just have to take a chance. If nothing good comes of it, then it was never meant to be. It’ll , but what else can you do? You can’t stay in a situation where you’re only half happy. That’s not fair to yourself.”

Junhoe sighed and took another sip of his coffee. Yunhyeong was right, of course. If he wanted something with Jinhwan, he just had to reach out and grab for it himself. He wasn’t being fair to himself by just sitting around and waiting for Jinhwan to realize he had feelings for him. Maybe there were no feelings, and he was just projecting his own, looking for evidence that didn’t actually exist. But maybe he wasn’t just seeing things. Maybe he was right, and maybe Jinhwan just needed a push. “I guess you’re right, hyung. Life is all about taking chances, right?”

Yunhyeong thought again about his own situation. “Yeah, you’re right. If you never take the chance, you’ll never know. Maybe it’s a safer way to live, but it’s probably not as happy.”

Junhoe nodded and played with his coffee cup, thinking about Yunhyeong’s words. Safer, but not as happy. What was the point in being safe if you weren’t happy?

Yunhyeong took a sip of his coffee, thinking about his words too. A few days ago during his last tutoring session with Junhoe, Hanbin and Donghyuk had just conveniently happened to show up when it was ending, with food. Yunhyeong had tried to leave, but the look of disappointment on their faces (Donghyuk’s in particular) had made him stay.

It was weird. For the longest time he’d thought there was something wrong with him, because he hadn’t ever liked anyone. Not just wanting to date, because he was busy with school, but unlike every single one of his friends he’d never even had a crush on a celebrity. He’d talked to his grandmother about it, and she’d told him that it was probably just because there was one special person for him out there, and his heart didn’t want him to waste his time on anyone else.

He’d thought it was ridiculous. It was kind of comforting at times, thinking that maybe the whole concept of soul mates was true, that one day he’d meet that one person and he’d just know that was who he was meant to be with. Two years he’d thought about it, wondered if there was any truth. Two years of watching friends date, of listening to friends talk in obsessive detail about girls they liked. Two years he’d faked interest, just so no one thought he was weird.

And then that one day happened and suddenly his grandmother’s stories didn’t seem so crazy. The only problem, though, was that it wasn’t some pretty girl his heart was convulsing over. It wasn’t some beautiful girl that his mother would fawn over and welcome with open arms.

It wasn’t even a girl.

It was a boy.

It was Donghyuk.

They’d exchanged phone numbers under the guise of talking about common interests. And they had been texting ever since, a lot, daily conversations about anything and everything. Every message made his heart race.

How was he supposed to do anything about it, though? A lot of his friends outright hated gay people, and the other half never really went out of their way to stick up for anyone in the gay community. Would he lose everyone if he followed his heart? It would be so much easier if he wasn’t in school anymore. If all he had to do was go to work and then come home to him. But they were at the same school. He didn’t want to hide anything, but there was no way he’d be able to be gay at school. No way.

He was pretty sure that Donghyuk liked him back, though, and that was the problem. If the crush was only one sided, he wouldn’t be as confused, wouldn’t feel as bad. He could afford to take his time. But he knew that the more he talked to Donghyuk, the stronger Donghyuk’s feelings were probably getting. He knew because he’d been paying attention to it for a while, now, and Donghyuk kept getting more and more open about his interest.

Was it right of him to do what he was doing if he wasn’t sure that anything could ever come of it? Wasn’t he just leading him on?

As Yunhyeong got lost in his own thoughts about Donghyuk, Junhoe convinced himself that when Jinhwan came back from Jeju, he’d tell him how he felt. Because he deserved to be happy, and he wouldn’t be happy unless they were dating. It was still daunting, though, because he was afraid that Jinhwan would say no. Maybe Jinhwan would even make fun of him, would say that he was a cute inexperienced kid who fell for the first person he was with. Junhoe didn’t think he’d be able to live it down if Jinhwan laughed at him.

He finished his coffee and looked at Yunhyeong, noticing that he seemed to be off in his own thoughts. Junhoe wondered if he ought to press him about Donghyuk. He knew they were texting each other constantly (because Donghyuk had told him about it) but he was still worried that Donghyuk was getting too attached to someone who might not return his feelings. And Junhoe was so full of fear for himself that he wanted to protect Donghyuk from the same thing.

“Hey hyung, how are things with you lately, anyway? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about anyone you were interested in. Are you seeing anyone right now?” Best to start off simple and not get specific.

Yunhyeong was jolted by Junhoe’s question. “No, there’s no one. Why are you asking so suddenly?”

Junhoe’s expression was one of intrigue at the way Yunhyeong answered, all defensively, like he had something to hide. “Are you sure?”

Yunhyeong gulped his coffee to try and relax a bit at the question. “Yeah, of course. I thought we were here to talk about you? You never ask about me.”

Junhoe frowned—okay so Yunhyeong had a point. But still. “Maybe this isn’t any of my business, but I know you and Donghyuk have been texting each other all the time lately.” Yunhyeong’s face went red, and Junhoe knew he’d hit the nail on the head. “He might kill me for saying this, but you know he likes you a lot, right?”

Yunhyeong nodded, refusing to look Junhoe in the eyes. “Yeah I know. We’re just friends, Junhoe-ya.”

“I’m just worried about him, okay? I understand if you don’t want to talk about it to me, but I don’t want him to get hurt. So if you don’t like him the same way that he likes you, just promise me that you’ll be honest with him.” Yunhyeong was blushing even harder and staring at the ground, and Junhoe wondered what it meant. Hanbin would probably say it was definite proof that he liked Donghyuk. But Junhoe had known Yunhyeong longer and he spoke to him more often. Yunhyeong was a fairly private person as far as he knew. It was hard to gauge what his reactions meant.

Yunhyeong wasn’t sure if his heart was beating so hard because of the sudden question from Junhoe or if it was because he’d just downed his whole cup of coffee. But he felt panicked, like he wasn’t ready to talk about any of this yet. It was too sudden, he felt too vulnerable.

Junhoe felt a little bad for almost seeming to attack him about Donghyuk, and maybe he’d only done it because his own constant worrying and insecurity had him projecting onto someone else’s potential relationship. If it turned out that Jinhwan didn’t want to date him, then Junhoe knew he’d want to hop in a time machine to travel backwards and stop himself from ever starting it. He didn’t want the same thing to happen to Donghyuk.

“I know that whatever you want, hyung, Donghyuk will still want to be your friend. I’m just asking you, as a friend, to please make sure you’re honest with him. Don’t string him along if you aren’t interested. Just tell him so he knows.”

Yunhyeong took a deep breath and forced himself into calming down. He was just flipping out because he didn’t want anyone to know that he was questioning his uality. In all honesty it would be okay if Junhoe knew, because Junhoe was gay and he’d gone through a period of ostracization himself. It was just everyone else that was a potential threat.

“I, uh, I promise that I’ll be upfront with him, okay? We’re just talking as friends right now, so don’t worry about anything. He’s a good person, I promise I won’t hurt him.” The idea of hurting Donghyuk made Yunhyeong’s heart ache. He’d be careful, and he’d be honest. It was what Donghyuk deserved.
 

“Which one do you want? We’re not gonna leave until I win you one of these.”

Hanbin looked around at the various claw machines, grinning at Bobby’s statement. “Maybe go for the unicorn one?”

Bobby looked at him curiously. “Out of everything here, you want a unicorn?”

Hanbin grinned sheepishly back at him. “Well, I know you’re winning it for me, but if I show up at home with a stuffed toy, Hanbyul’s gonna think it’s for her.”

“Tell her it’s yours!” Bobby replied.

“You don’t understand little kids, hyung, she’s at the stage where she can’t help but think everything is hers.” Hanbin laughed when Bobby just shook his head and looked around again.

“Okay, how about I win one for both of you? This way you can keep one, and then give her one.”

Hanbin nodded and looked around again at the machines. “Deal! If you can actually win two, of course.”

“Don’t you worry, I’m good at these games.”

Hanbin grabbed Bobby’s hand and pulled him over to another machine. “This is perfect, actually. You can win me a Mickey Mouse, and then get a Minnie for Hanbyul. She’ll be even happier that they match.”

Bobby sighed and resigned himself to the task ahead. He was pretty good at claw machine games, it usually didn’t take him long to win anything. Granted he never really tried to win anything in specific. He hoped his confidence wouldn’t be his downfall.

There was currently a couple using the machine who looked close to their age, but neither of them recognized the pair. The guy was trying to win a Minnie Mouse for his girlfriend, but wasn’t having much luck. They stood by quietly, waiting for him to finish. Bobby's eyes followed the claw, and he was busy counting how much time there was before the claw descended. There was a way to win at these machines, but you had to pay attention.

Hanbin, however, noticed the girl looking at them with narrowed eyes, but she didn’t say anything and instead whined when her boyfriend lost on his last try. The boyfriend pronounced that the game was cursed, and then his eyes caught sight of Hanbin and Bobby as well. His face scrunched in disgust and he made a comment to his girlfriend, who looked at them again.

Hanbin just smiled back at them and hoped that Bobby wasn’t going to say anything. Sometimes he enjoyed engaging with hateful strangers, but sometimes he preferred ignoring them instead.

“Hey hyung, make sure you win both of them, okay?” He looked at Bobby, who had also been eyeing the other pair.

“So we can rub it in their faces?” Bobby asked, grinning at Hanbin.

“Absolutely.” Hanbin leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, which elicited a huff of disgust from the other couple.

Undeterred Bobby approached the machine, nodding to the other guy. “Tough luck before, these machines are terrible, aren’t they?” He faked a polite greeting, grinning when he saw Hanbin smiling at it. He fed some coins in and sent a quick prayer to God that he could manage to win a prize on his first turn. Maybe it was a little malicious, but he liked to think that God would support him in this instance.

Hanbin stood next to him and hugged him, resting his chin on Bobby’s shoulder. He knew the other couple was still there watching them, and he watched as Bobby took control of the claw, carefully guiding it over a stuffed Mickey Mouse.

Bobby held his breath as he positioned the claw. It shouldn’t be too hard, since the machine had a four pronged claw and it wasn’t too tightly packed. When the claw had two prongs above the arms and two below, he pressed the button and watched as the claw dropped, closing around the Mickey plush exactly where he’d wanted it. He still watched the claw as it carried the toy over, pleased to see that it remained closed tightly. Some machines had claws with very weak grasps, and it was impossible to win with those.

The Mickey dropped into the prize bin and Bobby grinned to himself while Hanbin clapped (over-enthusiastically, of course). He went to collect the toy and grinned when he saw the scowling faces of the other couple. He handed the mouse to Hanbin, who slid a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him in for an open-mouthed kiss. They usually weren’t so explicit with their kissing out in public, but Bobby knew he was doing it to add extra insult to injury.

The couple was gone when they finished the kiss, and Bobby laughed at the whole thing. It felt good to show s up.

“Alright, let me win the Minnie, it should be easy.”

Hanbin watched him again, hugging the Mickey to his chest. “Is there some secret to this?”

“Of course there is,” Bobby replied, “but I’m not telling you.”

“What do you mean?” Hanbin whined, watching as Bobby won the Minnie on his first try.

Bobby fished the Minnie Mouse out the bin and handed it to Hanbin. “Because I’m your boyfriend, and it’s my job to win you prizes at the arcade.”

Hanbin tucked it under his arm next to Mickey. “Well, I’m your boyfriend, so shouldn’t I be winning you prizes too?”

“Nope,” Bobby replied, pecking a kiss on Hanbin’s nose, “I’m older, so that responsibility is still mine.”

Hanbin shook his head and pretended to be annoyed. He didn’t mind, really. He liked the idea of Bobby wanting to win him things, thought it was cute. He looked down at the toys, grateful he was so willing to win one for Hanbyul as well. It was important to Hanbin that Bobby really valued making his sister happy too.

“You ready to go?”

Hanbin looked back up at him and nodded. “We going back home, or did you want to do something else?”

“You hungry? I was thinking maybe we could get some snacks or something.”

“Yeah let’s go get something to eat, I have a craving for hotteok.” They left the arcade holding hands, and Hanbin looked up at the clear night sky when they got outside, always feeling good when he could make out a few stars in the darkness. They walked a few streets over to the food vendors, and it was such a nice night that Hanbin didn’t even notice many people looking at them. Sometimes strangers on the street were all scowls when they saw them, but there were those times when everyone seemed so happily caught up in their own lives that they overlooked them.

Hanbin knew exactly where the hotteok vendor was, and he smiled as he approached her. He and Junhoe had bought hotteok from her numerous times over the years that she recognized them, but this was the first time he was coming by with Bobby.

She smiled at him though, not batting an eye when she took in the hand holding.

“Hanbin-ah! Where is your loud friend tonight? Replaced him with someone better?” She , flipping two pancakes onto the grill.

“I’m going to tell him you called him my loud friend, he’ll be annoyed.” Hanbin joked back, before pulling Bobby closer. “This is my boyfriend, Bobby.”

She looked him over, giving him a critical look. "Boyfriend, huh? Does he treat you well?”

Hanbin showed off the stuffed toys he was holding. “Of course he does, look at the Mickey he won me at the arcade! On the first try, too.”

She nodded, flipping the pancakes over. “Very good, very good. Those claw games are hard to master.”

“Ah, they’re nothing, I’m a pro.” Bobby replied, grinning when she smiled at him.

“Well, this boy is very special, so you had better keep winning him things so he doesn’t leave you,” she teased, before bagging the snacks and handing them over.

“You hear that, hyung? Treat me well,” Hanbin teased, paying for the pancakes and reaching out to take them.

“I promise I will treat him well,” Bobby replied, amused that Hanbin had such a cute relationship with the street vendor. He took his pancake and they said their goodbyes, weaving their way back into the crowd. Hanbin needed his hand to eat his food, so Bobby put his arm around Hanbin’s shoulders instead, because it was nice to walk around in public and not have to hide anything.

When they finished the pancakes they got hot chocolates from a cafe and continued down to the river, finding a bench to sit on. Hanbin kept the toys on his lap as he cuddled up against Bobby. It was a little chilly out, cold enough to make you want to cuddle together to keep warm, and the hot chocolate helped. It was just nice to be outside in the fresh air, looking up at the moon.

“I wanted to ask you if you could come back to church with me at some point.” Bobby had been meaning to bring it up all night, but hadn’t really felt like the moment was right until now. It’s not that he thought Hanbin would say no, but he didn’t want him to feel like he had to.

“Yeah, sure. If you want me to, I’ll go with you.” Hanbin really didn’t mind going. The first time had been stressful, but only because of all the surrounding circumstances.

Bobby nodded. “It’s just that my pastor knows, about us dating. Turns out that my grandmother actually was telling him about us when we went last time.”

“What?” Hanbin looked at him in surprise. “He knows you’re gay?”

“Yeah, apparently my mom told him as soon as I came out.” He still hadn’t talked to his mom about that yet, because it felt like an awkward conversation to have. But he was happy he didn’t have to hide it in church anymore.

“Really? And she never told you that she told him?” Hanbin was surprised, but he figured that she must have had her reasons.

“Yeah, I guess she had a harder time when I came out than I knew she was having. She talked to him about it so she could find peace about it. Now he wants to meet you properly.”

Hanbin was touched by the request. “Does he know I’m not really religious?” He didn’t want to lie for the sake of his relationship.

“Yeah, I told him. He said it’s okay. It’s between you and God, so he won’t be preachy or anything. I think he just wants you to feel welcome.”

Hanbin smiled and leaned his head on Bobby’s shoulder. “That’s actually really nice of him. Surprising, but nice.”

“It’s important to me, I was afraid of him finding out for so long. I thought I’d be kicked out or something.” Bobby tightened his arm around Hanbin’s shoulders and kissed the top of his head.

“I’m happy he said something to you, that must have been such a huge relief.” Hanbin tilted his head up to catch Bobby’s eye, and he could see the relief in his expression.

“Yeah, it was. Everything is just, I don’t know, it’s just all coming together so perfect, you know? I hope you don’t laugh, but, I really just feel like you and me? We’re meant to be together.” Bobby felt a little dorky for saying it out loud, but he truly believed it. Things happened for a reason, and Hanbin came into his life seemingly by chance, only for it to be no chance at all. Instead he thought it was a gift.

“Why would I laugh at that?” Hanbin asked, only to laugh at his own question. “I hope you’re right. There’s no one I’d rather be with.” He kissed Bobby’s chin, and Bobby smiled down at him.

This was exactly where he was meant to be, in love with Hanbin. Everything else would sort itself out.