Notes: AHH, sorry about the previous chapter. The girl's name was supposed to be Cheryl but i changed it last minute and forgot to edit the chapter. i am very sorry. oh and why she was shock about Yongguk's age when Jongup told her is because she just forgets. (no wonder i felt weird when i wrote that chapter) haha i am forgetful too! Do point out if you guys are confused about things! Shout out to @matchalatte for asking. i love you! thank you for reading ! *throw hearts*

I slammed the door shut and looked at my entire damn house. My stuffed toys were everywhere and i spot some shirts laying on the floor. Ah, did i throw my bra somewhere inside here too? This is embarrassing! I quickly do some house cleaning and arranged everything so that it will look decent. I dont understand how is my house is so cute but i ruined it.

My wallpaper was baby blue. My entire house was baby blue and i put up some posters and I also have a corner for GOT7. ah, what will he think of me if he knows I run a goddamn fan page or whatsoever those non-kpoppers call us. After feeling satisfied with my house, I ran into my room and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was all messed up and i realized my face was too oily to even began of. Did he see me like this just now? I must be out of my head.. 

I regained my confidence back after i finished my showering. With my towel wrapped tightly around my body, I went to the closet and searched for some decent clothes to wear. It is my house so I guess it’s okay to look comfortable? What if i look like a hobo? I can’t look like that in front of Yongguk!! i searched for my white loose tshirt and gray hoodie.

I sat on my chair and checked my own reflection in the mirror. I put on some cream and some light make up. I also put on some light pink lipbalm to make my lips looked lively but not too lively. After drying my hair, i just let it loose on my shoulder. i look decent enough. 

As i was walking to the kitchen, I grabbed my glasses and wore it. I am short-sighted and sometimes, I can’t see things well. I went to the fridge and searched for something that i could cook. There must be atleast one dish that i can make for Yongguk right? I took a glance at the wall clock and it was almost 6.30 pm. Sighing, i went to the cupboard. Luck was on my side, i saw a jar of spaghetti sauce and a packet of spaghetti. Happily, i began to cook.

I also made some side dishes since i have some extra food in the fridge. I grilled some meat and hotdogs. I also prepared some dessert which was my favorite chocolate cheesecake. Cut the cake into smaller piece and put it in the fridge. As for our drinks, I want it to be something gassy so i put some cokes in the fridge to make sure they were cold when Yongguk comes. Am i making too much efforts? Aye, no i don’t.

The doorbell rang at 7.45 and i was literally sprinting across the room to answer the door. Panting, i opened the door and saw Yongguk was standing infront of the door with a plastic in his hand. “i brought some chicken for us,” he smiled. I nodded and i opened the door wider so he can entered the house. He gasped as i closed the door. “Wah, so this is what a girl’s house looks like?” he looked around with his mouth opened. Even though his voice was as deep as a whale, he was a cutiepie.

I took the plastic from his hand and lead him to the kitchen. “i did some cooking,” i told him. He changed his shoes with the Elmo slippers and walked to the kitchen. Elmo slippers were my favorite slippers but I have to wear the penguin one because the penguin one was smaller and i can’t let a guest to wear a small pair of slippers.

Yongguk took a seat and watched me as i moved everywhere. I put the plates on the table and took the cokes. I put the chicken in a bowl and served it on the table as well. I realized that he was staring at me from head to toe. “Jiae ah, you’re very small,” he said out of the blue and that made me blush. I remember asking Jongup how tall he was and Jongup said he was around 178 or something and i am here stuck with 152.

“Aye, you’re too big. That’s all.” i chuckled and put the spaghetti onto his plate and poured the sauce. Finally, i sat down and we both ate. “You must’ve been so curious about me. Hmm, tell me what do you want to know about me,” Yongguk said as he took a big bite on the chicken. I drank the coke and bit on my fork. “Hmm,” i looked up to think then i looked at him. “Jongup said you’re not a student anymore. So, what are you doing now?” 

Yongguk smiled then he burst out in laughter. “Did you think i was a high schooler? Wah, you still don’t believe me and ask Jongup about my age too?” he laughed again. He’s such a boyfriend material. Shoot me. She shook her thoughts off and watched him, trying to focus on what he was about to say. “Well, I don’t know. I just cant believe you’re not a high schooler..” she said biting her lips. “Hmm, i am currently a student at that university and i produce songs. I also am an underground rapper. I go by the name Jepp Blackman-” “I thought it was Josh Dark Guy,” did i just say that out loud?! . “W-what did you say?” he was holding his laughter. “Josh..what? Hahah you’re so funny there, Jiae-ssi,” 

Yongguk must’ve been a ball of laughter because he just can’t stop laughing and no, it’s cute. It was just.. it was rare for me to meet such person because i had always hangout around Jongup who happened to be so quiet and only laugh when my jokes were super funny. Which doesn’t happen often but this Yongguk oppa, he was just.. woah.

“Oh, and i might be working with JYP as well. And i see you’re a big fan of GOT7,” he pointed at my GOT7 corner,” i don’t actually care about him pointing at my corner but did he actually said that he will be working with THE GOT7? is this dude serious? “Y-you’ll be working with G-GOT7?” i stuttered. He nodded hyperly and ate the meat. “Yeah, for the next album. I’m actually Mark’s friend. We got to know when we were in high school,” 

The only thing that kept on lingering in my ears and head was the fact that Yongguk was friends with my damn oppas. GOT7 oppa.. he told me more about how he and Mark became friends and Mark also helped him with his raps somtimes especially the English parts. Maybe.. if i’m friend with Yongguk.. i can easily go and meet GOT7? wah, this is a golden ticket! I can even be friends with Jackson! Wahh, my Jaebum too..omoya.. 

“Jiae? Jiae, are you okay?” he snapped his fingers in front of me. I woke up from my daydream and shook my head, regaining back my focus. “Sorry.. i zoned out.. sorry!” i bowed slightly to him but he just smiled it off. “Hahaha, you seem tired too. I guess, you’re not use to doing all of these, right?” it took me a moment there to figure out what his all of these means but then it clicked. He meant the cooking. I nodded in embarrassment. “Yeah... it’s not like i always have a guest.” 

After eating, Yongguk and i played some games on my Xbox and we didn’t realized that it was already passed midnight. He quickly stood up and told me to sleep because i have school the next day. Nodding, i escorted him to the door. Just when he was about to leave the house, he stopped and turned around. “Jiae ah,” he called me and that somehow made my heart skipped a beat. “Y-yes?” 

“Let’s drop the awkwardness and call me by name or oppa, okay? Don’t call me Yongguk ssi anymore.” he poked my nose and waved goodbye as he walked to his house. Grinning, i closed my door and took off my glasses.

“YASS! I CAN FINALLY MEET MY GOT7 OPPA! YESS YES YESS! JUST WAIT TILL I GET SOME HD MOST HQ PICTURES EVER! GOD! THANK YOU FOR SENDING ME THAT TIGGER DUDE IN MY LIFE. I KNOW HE’S WORTH OF SOMETHING!” 

i jumped and fist the air in victory. Maybe this is the path for me to marry Jackson. Ahh, I am such a lucky fangirl. Thank you Bang Yongguk oppa, I clapped my hands like an excited seal.

-

That night, I laid down on my bed and began to scroll my personal instagram account. My heart throbbed a little when I saw the pictures of my family going out for vacation. I don’t even know why I followed my mom on instagram when I know I will see this kind of pictures on my timeline. Sighing, I turned off my phone and stared at the ceiling. This is why I hate myself. I can be so happy throughout the day and suddenly I will become so depressed at night and I just don’t know what happen.

I got off my bed and put on my skinny jeans and my gray hoodie. i should take a walk.. I took a glance at my wall clock. It was almost 2 am and I really need sometimes off with all these things. I can’t bring depression in again. I had stop cutting and self harm for quite sometimes. Jongup will be sad too if he knows I do self-harms again.

Grabbing some bills, I went out. I just wish I am old enough to buy some cigarettes and some beers. Sighing, I walked to the nearest convenience store. Maybe I should treat myself with some sodas and chocolate bars.

My chest felt heavy with every steps I took. I hate this feelings. I could last for days when it comes like this. It’s still amazed me that I still haven’t take any antidepressant pills. Once, I went so overboard, I actually slit my throat a little bit with a cutter. I swore when Jongup saw the scar the next morning, he legitimately cried a little. Then, he won’t stop following me around for days; giving me sweets and soft toys. Thanks to him, I have tons of them and I’m loving every single one of them.

I went to the refrigerator and took two bottles of cokes and then moved to the chocolate section. When, I grabbed this one chocolate bar, someone hold my shoulder. “Jiae?” the voice spoke.

I turned around and was so surprised to see Yongguk was there, standing with his red hoodie on. I bowed a little. “Hey,” I mumbled softly. He tilted his head to the side as he observed me a from head to toe. “Are you okay? You looked.. gloomy,” he said and suddenly placed his hand on my forehead. I swore I think I actually blushed for the first time I am alive. I backed away a little bit. “No. I’m totally fine. I just need some chocolate bars..”

He didn’t buy my lies. Nodding, he grabbed my arms. “Jongup once told me about this.. come on,” he dragged me away. He also told me to put down everything that I took and then we both went to grab some beers. It’s my first time to actually drink one.

Yongguk then took me to sit by the roadside. The road was empty and it was very peaceful too. I had always want to do this. Why didn’t I do this all this time? My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the can being open. “Don’t tell your parents i teach you how to drink,” he said as he handed me a can of beer. I stared at him, dumbfounded. He shoved it to me and smiled. “You don’t have to tell me your problems if you don’t want to. We just met and I know you wont trust me that much. Just consider this a treat for yourself.”

I took the can and took a sip of the beverage. It tasted so good, it literally soothed all my anger or I don’t even know what I should call this feelings anymore. Sighing, I stared at the ground. This was actually my first time to actually being with someone during my late night episodes. Sighing, I lied down on the ground, staring at the empty open sky.

For a moment there I thought, how would it actually feel like to have a family who would support you in no matter what you’re doing and love you and gives you the attention that you had always been longing and they just wont abandoned you even if you have your younger siblings? Will I still be out here at 2 am, laying on the dirty and hard ground?

“Jiae,”

He cooed. I turned to look at him. He offered his hand to be the pillow for me to lay my head on. I told him that I don’t want it but he insisted so now I am laying on his arm, staring to the empty yet beautiful night sky view with my neighbor, if I actually have a happy family, will I actually meet this angel in my life?

To be continued

A/N: awh tysm for the subs and comments babyz!! <3