A/N: i saw some few raging comments about the girl lmao i admit. she's dumb ahhaahah sorry for the late updates guys T^T

(Jiae’s POV)

I played around with soft toys. Naomi said Jongup didnt go to school also today and i didn’t too. It was just so weird. I lost my first to Jongup and here i am, thinking on what am i doing with my life. What the hell is wrong with me? I covered my face with the bear and screamed. I am so embarrassed. When Youngjae opened the door, me and Jongup was literally putting on our shirt and his reaction was ing priceless.

However, me and Jongup had settled things down and we decided to just be friend. Which is RIDICULOUS for me. How can i just be friend with him after how he did me that yesterday. It was wrong in so many levels but i had to admit that he was so good at it. Or is it because it was my first time? It was his first time too.

Sighing, i grabbed my phone and looked through my camera roll. Recently i had hired an admin to take care of the page that i was working on and i took some times off from fangirling because i feel like my life is just a messed up right now. I had also cleared most of the pictures off my phone. My phone was practically empty. Heaving another sigh, i opened the chat between me and Yongguk. What will he feel if he knows that Jongup and i had ? Will he hate me? Shaking off my thoughts, i tried to send him a message.

What are you doing? 

I stared at the message. How can i sound so casual when i am ing messed up right now. It was not even a minute and a reply came in.

Studying. I have mock test tomorrow.. :(

I smiled and typed in another reply. I wish i can be in the same class with him and we could study together. All these things remind me of Jongup to be honest. Reminder; not to get to attach with someone you don’t know your ending with. I shook my head. Who can predict their future tho.

I wish i can help but i am dumb.. :’)

I remembered this one paragraph that i heard in F(X)’s First Love album. It went something like this ‘....’ isn’t it correct? I mean, it’s delusional. Love can make someone very delusional.

You can help me. You boost my mood up. Wanna come here?

I choked on my own saliva. My womanhood was still aching and i bet my life he will know something was off when he sees me walking. I shook my head. I cant let him know. I can’t.

I’m a bit tired.. video call?

I slapped my forehead right after i sent that. What the am i thinking? Within seconds, he replied.

I know what happened. You want a ride to school tomorrow? Eo? Facetime? Wait... i need to put on some clothes ;)

Did he just do that?! that ing winking emoji? Did Bang Yongguk actually did that? Who does he thinks he is? A child? A playboy? Oh my god this man really...

Before i could even reply to him, he already called me. I hesitated to answer but i answered it anyways. I could see his face so clearly and he was wearing some black shirt on. “Hey,” he greeted with that smile of his. I shyly smiled back and said hey softly. I’ve never actually facetime a guy before. Not even Jongup. So this was very new to me. Yongguk chuckled. “Why are you so shy? You’ve never facetime people before?” he asked in a teasing manner.

“Aniyo. Of course i facetime people a lot.. i just never facetime a guy before...” i mumbled the last part and that made Yongguk laughed so hard. “aigoo.. you’re such a cutiepie. You know what, if you’re thinking that i will be mad or hating you after you have that little make out session with Jongup, don’t be. I’m totally fine with it.” did Bang Yongguk read my mind?! what is this guy?!

I couldn’t help but to be speechless. True, i felt lighter now since he already confessed. “really?” i looked at him with the sudden puppy look and Yongguk almost dropped his phone becuse he was shocked. “of course! Jiae... do i have to tell you this? I am not a myself too and honestly... well.. i was a bit shock.. but still.. it happens..” he nodded and he was spinning on his chair. “It’s just unfair if I do it with you if you’re a and I’m not..” he bit his lips.

My head quickly caught what he just said. “So, all this time you’re waiting for me to lose my ity so that you can have with me?” I squinted my eyes at him. His ears went slightly red and he immediately shook his head. “NO! That’s not what I meant! Oh my god,” he face palmed himself. I couldn’t help but to laugh at him. Oh, he made me smile. No, screw that. He made me laughed. The thought at the back of my brain began to respond.

“it’s still awkward and scary for me. That’s why I’m like this..” I told him what I felt as I hugged my soft toys tighter. “yes, I had been reading fanfiction and whatsoever.. but doing it in real life?” I shook my head. “Scary..”

For some reasons, I could see how that warm smile of his appeared on his face when I told him what I felt. It made me really comfortable. Yongguk made me feel as if I don’t have to hide anything from him. I can totally be myself and he will still give me that warm, welcoming smile. “Do you want to come over for some ramen?” he suddenly asked. I blinked and frowned. “Why-”

grrr….

I touched my tummy. I haven’t eat the whole day due to this overthinking of mine. Yongguk chuckled. “Just come over. Imma cook you some Yongguk ramen~ I wont lock the door. So just come in, okay?” he said. I nodded and we both exchanged goodbyes. I hung up and tossed my phone on the bed. It feels so odd when someone is being so nice to me. For your information, I am very talented at making myself feel so ty and down. So it’s not a surprise that I will always find a reason to make a nice person turned into a bad person in split second. Like, at the moment, when Yongguk was being nice to me. There’s this thought at the back of my head that said he’s faking his kindness.

Nice going, Oh Jiae. 100 points at making yourself feel like garbage.

I got off my bed and headed to the bathroom to wash my face. I have to admit though. Jongup was really, really good at making me reaching my high. We both aren’t even awkward to begin with. Why? Because both of us read s. Jongup exposed himself with those mangas and I exposed myself with those fanfictions. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. It’s obvious. The answer will come soon. 

After washing my face, I applied some light make up and put on my face white shirt with my ripped blue jeans. Feeling excited and hungry, I grabbed my phone and headed to Yongguk’s place. It felt weird. Really. How did I managed to become friend with a such nice, cool and handsome college boy? It’s just so surreal.

I pressed down the door handle and pushed the door inward. I could smell the ramen in the crib but something was off. I could hear voices. Yongguk isn’t alone? I thought to myself as I slowly walked in and closed the door. The voices were loud but I can’t seem to figure out the words they were talking. I walked to the living room slowly and saw a woman.

She was tall. Almost as tall as Yongguk and she was very pretty. Her hair was tied into a ponytail and her sense of fashion was way different than mine. She was like in a whole new level.

“WHY YONGGUK? You know I love you! You know it! Don’t deny it!! do you know how miserable I am after you left me?!” she screamed at him, hitting his chest desperately. She began crying her heart out. She may be crying but for some reasons, it looked so fake. So fake it actually made me wanted to puke. “You have someone new do you? THAT’S WHY YOU’RE IGNORING ME? ANSWERING ME BANG YONGGUK!” she screamed at him.

I watched Yongguk’s gripping his knuckle. He was pissed off and I’m scared if he burst out. I am not ready to see an angry Bang Yongguk. “We were so in love.. why did you do this to me?” she pleaded to him. Is she the girl who cheated on Yongguk? Why does she made herself sounded like a victim here? I frowned and I wanted to took a step closer to hear but it was too loud and it caught both of their attention.

Yongguk had never looked so shock before. I awkwardly smiled at him but instantly regret it because she attacked me. “so this is the new girl? This is the that replaced me? A ing high school girl? Are you kidding me?” she laughed hysterically and stepped forward towards me. I swallowed the sudden lump that was growing in my throat and waited for her to kill me with her words.

“Yongguk, she’s not even pretty. She doesnt have things that you like,” she pushed me by my forehead using her finger and I almost fell backward. “She could never make you feel enough Yongguk. She-” “Shut the up.” I cut her. She crossed her arms and glared at me. “Oh so you’re not mute?” she observed me from head to toe.

“You’re the one who cheated on Yongguk. You’re the bad guy here so why the are you making yourself sound like a victim?” I gritted my teeth because she was totally looking down on me. “What do you know about Yonguk and me? Do you even know how’s he like in be-” “Hara.. stop.” Yongguk pushed her away and stood in front of me. “Leave.” he said sternly.

“Why? Is underage girls your type now? Is she a ? Can she you like I did? Yongguk, come on we can make up.. eo?” she touched his fast but Yongguk pushed her hand away, harsh. I wanted to go to her but Yongguk stopped me. “We’re over. I’ve grown out of you. You no longer exist in my life.” he said so monotonously and straightforward, it was painful. Hara, I assumed that’s her name, glared at me.

“I will get my revenge on you,” she hissed before leaving the house.

When we heard the door slammed closed, Yongguk turned around and pulled me into his embrace. “I don’t know what would I do to her if you’re not here..” he mumbled but was muffled by my shoulder. “I’m sorry she called you with names. I’m sorry. She was just.. Jiae, please just un-hear everything that she called you. “ he hugged me tighter and that made me smiled. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him too. “I believe in you and not her.” I told him and gave him that friendly pat on the back as if we’re dudes. Yongguk chuckled. “Am i being dude-zoned?” 

“How’d you know?” we both backed away from each other and gave that derp look. Laughing, Yongguk ruffled my hair. “come on. I bet the ramen doesnt taste good anymore.” he said and held my wrist, walking to the kitchen.

After setting up the table, we sat down and began to dig in our ramen. Yongguk was right. The ramen was already swollen but that didn’t matter. What matters the most was that we were sitting here facing each other eating ramen and our feet kept on playfully kicking each other under the table. “One of the best ramen i’ve ever ate,” i commented as i took a sip on the coke. Yongguk chuckled and took my bowl away to the sink. “No compliments on my ramen please.” 

I watched as he began to wash the dishes. His back view was magnificent. His shoulder was broad and he looked extremely manly with that tattoo peeking from his clothes. I want to stare at him like this all day. I dont want to do anything else but to watch him doing his things. Even though most of the things he does are pretty boring and grandpa like but that doesn’t matter.

Because i think.. i am in love with Yongguk.

To Be continued.