Twelve

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31 December 2006 - Yakchunsa Temple, Jeju Island

Ji Sub’s POV 

Mom forces me to come and pray at this temple today. I don’t actually trust in God, but I will go anyway just because she always nagged me till my ears bleeding with the same talk. Today, she said she wants to pray to God with hope that this year I will meet someone that will change me and my social anxiety. Doesn’t mom understand how I hate people and avoiding people is the best option.

Mom, Eun Ah and I ring the bell at this temple that people believe will get rid of our sins. I saw mom praying with her eyes close and crying. She must be really worried about me. I feel sorry for her, but when I look around me with so many people swarming this place, I just can’t breathe properly and sweating excessively. I leave the crowd and walk to the garden near the temple.

This place is a whole new level. It is not really crowded with some people walking around but I feel in peace. I walk in a fast pace to actually find any place to sit on. Unfortunately, on my way to find a sit I bumped into someone and that person fall on my body. While she fell facing me and her head nearly banging on my head, our eyes particularly met each other and how our lips really close to each other. (refer to chapter eight)

“I’m really…..really…sorry.” That person shutters while she’s asking for my forgiveness. I look at her face. She’s so beautiful and this is my first time looking at someone who has a face of an angel. Suddenly I feel like my heart beat unusually fast than normal. She quickly gets up and bow down to me before she runs leave me.

Will I be able to see her again?

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14 February 2007

Today is Valentine’s Day – a day I always hate. Not because I don’t have girlfriend but there are so many girl will come to me and offer me with chocolate. I hate rejecting people but did they know that I can’t talk to them and how I hate being in the center of attention. Every time people talk to me especially a girl my hands will start shaking and I have problem with muscle twitches. If they could only hear my heart race when stranger talk to me and I blushed each time people move closer to me. I wish I could run away during Valentine.

But, as a brother, Eun Ah always asks me to give her chocolate every year to brag about how she got chocolate from her own brother – a handsome brother. I don’t understand people who keep telling me handsome and cute; when I don’t. I just don’t understand girl at all.

I walk to Eun Ah’s class with the chocolate she made for herself. I walk in straight to Eun Ah’s table and put on the chocolate on her table. Eun Ah stands up and hugs me. Again she always put on show and tried to gain attention.

“Hey everyone. This is my older brother, Ji Sub sunbae. He just gives me a chocolate that he struggled to make last night. Isn’t he a nice brother?”

Everyone was cheering for her stupid promot