Today's Song choice: Hate that I miss you by Lee Haeri (Davichi)

"Byul-ah, I brought some food for you!" Without even turning over to face her, I know that it must be Hani entering the room likely to be accompanied with two heavy bags of snacks and food. The white sheer curtains were still dancing in the night breeze, just that temporary window grills were hidden behind them. As I continued to stare straight ahead, I let my thoughts run wild.

"Byulie-ya, I brought some food for you~" She said running over with two bags, filled with two bento boxes-- one for her, and one for me.

Her smile... Was the only thing that mattered then...

I miss you... 

Jung...

Whee...

"Byul-ah, did you hear me?" The footsteps started to inch closer before she appeared in my vision field. "It's been three days already... How long are you going to be seated there? Forever? You can't go on without food and water!"

"Wheein..." My voice was soft as a whisper but I was sure that Hani could hear me since the room was dead silent.

"Byul-ah..." Hani shook her head as she plunged herself onto the bed and scooted beside me. "I've told you alot of times... The person-- Wherein or Wheeout, we don't know who she is..."

"Find her." I carried on with what I was saying, not bothered by her interruption.

"What?!" Surprise could be heard from her voice.

"Jung Wheein. Her name is Jung Wheein." The unusual response from me must have given her a shock. Giving her sufficient time to regain her composure, I continued. "Even if you don't know who she is... Just help me find her."

"Find her? Then what do you expect me to tell her? 'Hey, I have a friend who claims to know you. She's definitely not crazy but she says she has met you before and wants to meet you desperately?' Byul-ah, does that even make sense to you? How can you know someone without even having her number? Or worse, dated someone without even knowing where to find her?" Concern were scribbled all over her face accompanied with a tinge of exasperation.

"Hani-ah..." Returning my gaze onto the white sheer curtains, I stared far into the horizon. "I'm not imagining things. I'm not insane. I just... I just..."

I just really really miss her...

Jung Wheein...

Where are you?

Where exactly did you go?

What am I supposed to do now?

What do you expect me to do without you?

"Byul-ah..." She sighed, seemingly exhausted with my behaviour. "How do you even expect me to find someone amongst fifty million people inhabiting this land? Without a photo?! Without any information except three words-- Jung Wheein?!"

"I can't live without her..." Dark clouds were gathering in the sky, further emphasising  the dark and gloomy feelings within my heart. "I can't..."

"You can, Byul-ah." Hani turned me to face her forcefully. Placing her two hands on my shoulders, she gently patted them before continuing. "If she had never existed, you can. If she had never appeared in your life before, you can. Hence, the conclusion is you can because it was all a dream, Byul-ah. Meeting her, was just a dream. A dream that you lived in for 3 a month... And now, it's time for you to wake up."

"If one day, I'm just saying that if it ever happens... If one day, you wake up and I'm no longer there... Just if it happens..." I sobbed, trying my hardest to bring those words out of me. "Promise me you will forget about me and live happily from then onwards."

"Will you make that same promise to me? If you won't, why would I?" She was staring downwards, right at the rough and rocky road.

"Wheein-ah..." I held her hands in mine and tugged at them to have her look up towards me. 

"You're not going to leave me, so that will never happen." Biting her lips, the tears continued to roll down her cheeks. "And so there is no promise to be made."

"No... I take back those words..." Tears once again gathered at my eyes. I'm amazed that there were still tears available even though I have been 'living' without any water intake for the past few days. "When I asked you to forget about me, meet someone nice and live happily ever after... That was for you, Wheein-ah... Not me..."

"I'm so done with you." Giving me a light push, Hani took her hands away from me. Knowing that nothing is going to work this time round, Hani headed towards the door with determination. "Look at your cracked lips. Look at your pale face. Seriously, what are you doing with your life?! You've been asleep for 3 a month... When we all thought you will never wake up, you did. When we thought that everything is going back to normal, you decided to go on and on about this girl named Jung Wheein. Everyone is worried about you, Byul-ah. You can't go on any further like this. Where is the Byul who lived for her family? Where is the Byul who placed her soul into the studio? Where is the Byul, whose passion for photography can ignite the flame in others as well? Stop living in the dream and start living in the reality! I'm getting the doctor... No, I'm calling in the psychiatrist."

If It was all a dream then everything will be back to normal when I go back to sleep right...

Then, I'll be able to meet her again...

Then, I'll be able to see my love again...

If so...

I'll be sure to sleep forever...

"Wheein-ah..." Muttering under my breath, I know that my energy is depleting as each second passed by. "I'll meet you again soon... Just awhile more... Wait for me..."

THUD

The roll of newspaper that was placed by the bedside fell to the floor... The newspaper that was dated on Wheein's birthday... The newspaper that was soaked in my tears when I woke up realising that Wheein disappeared... With the roll of newspaper laying on the floor, my bedside table was left uncovered. The nightstand drawer was slightly opened. It was then that I noticed the strawberry flavoured lip jam that Wheein bought for my last birthday, sitting right at the corner of the drawer. Pulling the handle, I reached for the small bottle.

"Here~!" Filled with excitement, she handed me a pink flowery shopping bag held with both of her hands. "Your birthday present~!"

Immediately, I took out the small box that was wrapped with wrapping paper. Within seconds, the gift was unravelled. "A lip balm? Why though?"

"So that you can kiss me with your lips, even in the winter~" She chuckled as she tiptoed to plant a kiss on my lips. With a pout and her mischievous grin, she picked up from where she left off after delivering the surprise attack. "From now on, those lips are part of my property. We'll make sure that those lips will be soft and supple instead of cracking like the desert floor whenever winter comes~! You'd better make sure that my property does not deteriorate without my permission alright, or I'll be angry! Plus it's my favourite strawberry flavour~" 

The tears started to stream down my face as I recalled our past interactions. by , my trembling index finger started to apply the lip jam on my lips. "I'm taking care of it... You will see it when I meet you, Wheein-ah... Soon... You will see it soon..."

BUZZ BUZZ

I picked up my phone that was on the bedside table. It has been ages since I last checked my phone... Or rather, since that day I tried to dial for Wheein's number...

--- Unnie, Yesol and I have been missing you~ It's been three months since you last talked to us... Is everything okay? Why haven't you been replying to our messages? Mum told us not to call and bother you but both of us missed talking to you... Especially when you ended off with a weird message saying that you love us and not to look for you... Sorry if we are being burdensome again... Can we see you soon? I mean Yesol and I are having our summer break in 3 months time... If you're too busy to take care of us then it's okay... We'll just see you from afar and leave after that... So can we head over to Seoul and just see you for a while?--- 바보동생슬기* (Stupid younger sister Seulgi), 7.40 PM

*바보동생슬기 is the name Byul saved her younger sister Seulgi as. (Please don't confuse yourself with Red Velvet's Seulgi... But if you want to, you can imagine her as Byul's sister too HAHAHA! Since it's like all fiction anyways~!)

"Seulgi... Yesol... Mum... Dad..." Droplets fell on the LCD screen as I read the message repeatedly. "I'm sorry..."

I can't live without Wheein...

"Unnie I love you~!" Seulgi ran over as I entered the house, returning from New York for my two weeks mid-semester break a few years ago...

"Unnie~ Carry me! Carry me!" I was only 12 years old when I first heard her saying those words, even though I have been taking care of my maknae-- Yesol, since the day she was born...

"That's my eldest daughter~ I'll always be rest assured with her around~" Eversince I was young, my mum would always praise me infront of the neighbours...

"Don't you know? Our Byulyi has always been this outstanding!" That day was the first time my dad genuinely laughed without any worries. The day when I recieved my scholarship to New York...

Seulgi...

Yesol...

Mum...

Dad...

I closed my eyes, forcing myself to shake away the thoughts of my family. At this moment, I know fairly well the I'm torn between my family and the possibly non-existent Wheein.

Sorry that I'm letting you guys worry over me...

I can't live without Wheein...

Or can I?

--- Come over... As soon as possible... I miss you guys... I lost something so great I need consolation... Help me