[Chapter XXXIX]

A Love to Kill

Hakyeon woke up one morning to see that the bed next to him was empty. The younger must have woken up early and left to train again. Hongbin has been keeping himself busy with his training in order to be of use to Hakyeon even though Hakyeon himself, did not want the younger to strain himself.

Hakyeon still couldn’t believe how merciless and cold Taekwoon has become. He’s heard enough stories from others by now to know what to expect but to actually witness it with his very own eyes was quite frightening. He could still remember his body trembling from the latter’s intense gaze. Once more, Hakyeon could not help but feel apologetic to those around him for Taekwoon’s change. He was the one who triggered such darkness in Taekwoon after all.

“Morning!” Jaehwan greeted him.

“You look a lot better today. Are you okay now?” Hakyeon asked him while he went into the kitchen to get something to eat.

“Mhmm. Seems like our brilliant Wonshikkie finally found a good enough cure for my strange fevers. I’m feeling a lot more energetic today!”

“That’s good.” Hakyeon was relieved.

“So, I heard about what happened yesterday. Seems like Kong’s been taking it really hard. Are you okay?”

Hakyeon obviously wanted to nod ‘yes’ so that Jaehwan doesn’t worry about him but he couldn’t lie to himself. It doesn’t seem like Jaehwan would be so easily fooled by his act anyway.

“Not really. I just… can’t believe that Taekwoon has changed this much. I saw him raising a blade against an innocent child and his mother. He wasn’t like this before. But now, he doesn’t even hesitate when he tried to swing his swords at them! And even during his fight with Hongbin, if Hongbin was any weaker, Taekwoon would’ve killed him already.”

“Well, I’m glad your training seems to have shown some good progress. I know Kong is taking his defeat quite harshly but the both of you came back in one piece and that’s all it matters.” Jaehwan gave Hakyeon a pat on the shoulders to comfort him.

“If only I wasn’t so stupid back then, this would never have happened in the first place. How could I have been so blind that I-”

“It’s okay.” Jaehwan cut off what Hakyeon was trying to say. He didn’t want Hakyeon to hate himself as much as he already does. He knew that the more doubts and insecure Hakyeon were, the easier it was for him to fall into darkness.

“We can make things right again. Just believe in yourself.”

“But how?”

“Get stronger. Be more confident. I’m sure you can do it. I’m sure that one day, you and Taekwoon would be able to return back to the way things were.”

“But how can you be so certain? So positive?” Hakyeon questioned.

“You know… I used to think exactly like you. One way or another and for the longest time, I was afraid of consequences, of change, and everything else around me. I didn’t have the courage to fix my mistakes or even clear up simple misunderstandings. I gave up trying and I regretted it so much. But it was thanks to you as well as everyone else in Pinewoods that changed me. To be honest, I hated humans for a very long time because you guys were able to easily gain the affections of him instead of me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Me and Wonshik have been friends for a very long time and we’ve known each other since we were kids. But Wonshik’s love for humans, well… it made me jealous. I didn’t understand what was so interesting about humans for him to love you guys so much.”

“You were jealous?”

Jaehwan laughed.

“Yeah. I love him.” He confessed. “But because I was too afraid to speak up and wasn't confident in myself to clear up the misunderstandings between us, the two of us drifted apart. Do you know how Wonshik ended up in the Underworld in the first place?”

Hakyeon nodded slightly but was unsure of the entire story.

“He mentioned something before about trying to steal the Sun and got caught right?” Hakyeon asked.

“Yeah. And the one who caught him was his father but Wonshik thought that it was me who had turned him in. I tried to explain it to him many times but he was too mad to listen and eventually, I just gave up trying.”

“What about now? He seems to care about you a lot especially since you’ve lost your powers…”

“I know. I’m thankful for everything he’s doing for me. To think, he still cares about me makes me feel… loved?”

“Did the two of you sort out the misunderstandings?”

Jaehwan nodded.

During the time that Jaehwan had fallen ill, he had already thought that his life was finally coming to an end. He would definitely have his regrets if he had just died but what more could he do when he’s completely lost all of his powers and will to survive? He became human after all. Maybe it was his punishment for not having the courage to speak up when he had the chance? Maybe it was karma for being too afraid? He was a coward.

When he reunited with Wonshik again in the Underworld, the latter was rather cold to him and often threw angry remarks at him. Jaehwan tried to joke with it as if it didn’t concern him but it hurt a lot. He didn’t think that after so long, the glare from Wonshik would hurt him so much. He left the Heavens for a long time and began his life with humans in the mortal realm. He learned more about emotions and feelings than he ever could have in the past. He learned to say sorry, apologize, laugh and all the joy he had with the people around him. After being in the human world for so long, he constantly wished he could go back in time to change what happened in the past.

He thought that Wonshik no longer cared for him and still hated him because of the misunderstanding. But when he fell ill and woke to see Wonshik stay by his side, he felt a small ounce of hope left in him. An opportunity for things to change.

“I love you. I still do you know. Strange huh?” Jaehwan confessed one day to Ravi. He thought if he didn’t say it now, he would never have the chance to say it ever again. He was sick and dying.

Ravi didn’t reply to Jaehwan’s confession and it seemed like he could care less about how Jaehwan felt.

Jaehwan sighed.

“I know you still hate me. Sorry. I just wanted to say it. Forget it.” Jaehwan continued. A bit disappointed that he wasn’t able to say more and the lack of expression on Ravi’s face didn’t help either.

Just as Jaehwan was thinking of giving up, Ravi took his hands in his. Ravi’s hands were so warm and gentle.

“I don’t hate you. I...” Ravi took a deep breath. “I know it wasn’t your fault that I got caught. I just don’t know what got into me during that time, thinking that you would ever betray me. As stupid as you could be sometimes, you would never betray anyone or do something to harm me. Yet, I was just blinded by my own failure that I took it out on you instead. Before I could do anything to fix it, you had already disappeared from my sight and I was trapped here in the Underworld.”

“Wonshik-ah…” Jaehwan could feel his eyes tearing.

Ravi took Jaehwan in his arms, comforted him and gently held him. It has been so long since Jaehwan has felt Ravi’s warmth. He had never been so warm in the past. Kim Wonshik, has always hidden in his research that he never paid much attention to Jaehwan even though the two were supposedly going out. He was blinded by his own interest that he forgot he had someone by his side, who cared dearly about him.

“Your father told me everything. That you begged him to stop my execution in exchange for you being in the human world instead.”

“My father?”

Ravi nodded.

“He was frustrated that he couldn’t do anything for you and had to send you to the other side. He was the King of the Heavens and he was forced to make such a decision due to the many eyes that were on him. He secretly came to the Underworld once in order to tell me not to hate you so much. He can be quite cold and stubborn at times, but he cared a lot about you. You weren’t just a potential candidate for his throne but a son he cared about. That’s why when he told me everything… I… I’m just sorry I didn’t give you the chance or hear you out. I pushed you away even though I should’ve tried to understand you instead. I’m sorry.”

Jaehwan shook his head, still tears in his eyes.

“It’s okay. All that matters is that you’re here with me now.”

Hakyeon was glad to hear that everything ended well with Jaehwan and Ravi. He felt a bit more confident and positive after hearing Jaehwan’s story. He didn’t think that his friend had such a past.

Jaehwan was right thought. Hakyeon has to fix his mistakes and not regret the fact that he was too scared to do anything. Hakyeon has lived all his life with insecurities and cowered away from reality too many times that it was time for him to stop, once and for all. Whether or not Taekwoon would forgive him, Hakyeon knew he could not just sit around to do nothing. He had to do something.

Hakyeon decided to take a stroll into the Forest of Nightmares as he passed by the town. Getting to the secret base from Pinewoods wasn’t a challenge at all for him. It wasn’t as scary. But getting to the same base from the Underworld, was quite frightening. But Hakyeon was a lot stronger now and he wanted to prove that he’s gotten a lot more powerful and courageous since the first day he arrived in the hellish world. He had to overcome his fears. Everyone else was busy improving themselves yet he was still stuck in one place, unable to move on.

He took a deep breath.

“I’ll be okay. I’ll be okay. I can do this.” He told himself.

The path to the secret base was quite unforgettable to him no matter where he was. Either in Pinewoods or in the Underworld. The path to the place was natural for him. He could even close his eyes and walk straight to it if he wanted to.

The vines and thorns that surrounded the base were born from Taekwoon’s hatred and Hakyeon couldn’t help but remember those bitter memories. According to Hyuk, this place was a lot calmer than it appeared and these vines were never here in the past until Taekwoon’s return.

Hakyeon went inside the stump and once again, traced his hand across the many drawings by Taekwoon. Each drawing was a memory and although they were scribbled on by Taekwoon, Hakyeon tried his best to remember what each drawing could be about.

Some drawings made Hakyeon smile, some made him sad instead. But he felt the many emotions just looking and recalling his precious memories with Taekwoon.

“I’m sorry.” He said as he caressed the memories delicately with his hands. If only he had the courage to say it to the person who had drawn them instead. Why was it so hard? What’s holding him back from saying such simple words?

Hakyeon lost track of time while reminiscing about the past and it was starting to get late. He was sure the others would worry about him eventually if he had been gone for too long. Just as he left the base, Taekwoon appeared before him.

Reuniting with Hakyeon brought him back to this very place.

*   *   *   *   *   *

Hakyeon’s body didn’t know how to react. He froze at the sight of Taekwoon and so did Taekwoon. Neither expected the other to appear before them so quickly. Especially at such a timing. Taekwoon hasn’t returned to this place in five years but suddenly, his body remembered this place again.

Hakyeon wanted to say something to Taekwoon right away but his mouth felt dry and the words wouldn’t come out. His body was trembling with fear as if it could remember the blade that was pointed to him the day before. He should be glad to see Taekwoon again, it was a perfect chance to make things right. But bringing out the words was not so simple.

Why was it so easy to apologize to those memories earlier when he was alone but couldn’t do so now that the person was actually standing in front of him?

“Are you afraid of me now?” Taekwoon could see the fear in Hakyeon’s eyes and began to approach him slowly.

Hakyeon shook his head to deny it but his body reacted otherwise. Each step Taekwoon took forward, his own feet dragged him backward.

Without a word, Taekwoon was reaching for Hakyeon. As his hands approached closer to Hakyeon’s neck, Hakyeon’s entire body screamed for danger. His body wanted to escape but instead, it made Hakyeon trip backward from fear. Taekwoon reached out for the falling Hakyeon in reflex, trying to catch his fall and both landed on the ground.

His own hands instinctively moved behind Hakyeon’s head while they were falling as if trying to protect the latter.

Taekwoon could feel the trembling Hakyeon as he held him. Hakyeon was afraid of him and even though he told himself that he shouldn’t mind how the other felt, he did.

“How did you get here?” Taekwoon asked while coldly gazing into Hakyeon’s wavering eyes.

Hakyeon wanted to tell Taekwoon everything about his journey here to the Underworld, all the stories he had to tell about these five years without Taekwoon and more but as he looked into Taekwoon’s cold eyes, it made him unable to speak aloud. The words he wanted to say were held back.

*   *   *   *   *   *

The warmth of their bodies touching one another felt so nostalgic. So warm and gentle. It's been more than five years since they’ve held onto one another, felt each other’s warmth held against their own.

As much as Taekwoon wanted to deny and forget about Hakyeon, his body reacted too differently now that the boy was in his arms once again. When he saw Hakyeon fall, his body reacted on its own.

Why can’t I let go of him… Why did you have to appear in my life again? Cha Hakyeon, why can’t you just let me live my life without you? Why is it so hard to breathe when you’re not by my side?

Taekwoon questioned himself and his racing heart once more.

His heart should have been sealed away since coming back to the Underworld and being heartbroken by Hakyeon. He even turned into a tyrant and ruled the world mercilessly in order to erase every drop of feelings he had left inside of him. He should no longer feel anything for anyone especially towards the boy who broke him apart.

Why does my heartbeat for you again? Make it stop…

*   *   *   *   *   *

Hakyeon has been waiting to meet Taekwoon time after time again since his stay in the Underworld but his body felt the fear. He couldn’t stop his trembling.

Why am I afraid of you? Please stop the trembling… I need to tell him… so many words I want to say but why won’t they come out now that he’s here in front of me?

Was he really that afraid of Taekwoon? And what the latter have become? His heart was racing so fast that he almost forgot to breathe. He missed Taekwoon so much. And even if this moment was by mere coincidence, Taekwoon was holding onto him so dearly.

Taekwoon looked into Hakyeon’s eyes and saw how much Hakyeon has grown since five years ago. He was a bit bigger, taller and even his hairstyle was neatly trimmed to reveal his long firm neck. Taekwoon couldn’t help himself, as he leaned in closer to the boy’s tempting and slightly revealed collarbones. Hakyeon could feel Taekwoon’s breath sliding along his neck and his body was responding on its own. Craving for more.

Taekwoon gave him just as he wanted. Without even being aware of where his hands were traveling, he was already reaching inside of Hakyeon’s shirt. He traced along the boy’s spine and felt a long scar behind Hakyeon. He was surprised but he caressed it as gently as he could.

“Mmm.” Hakyeon let out a whimper from Taekwoon’s cold hands. But he liked it. He wanted more and let Taekwoon do as he pleased. He couldn’t or shouldn’t ask for more. He’s been longing for this moment for too long.

Just as Taekwoon was about to reach further down Hakyeon’s tempting and beautiful toned skin, a dangerous voice called out to him.

If only he could remain this way forever, frozen in my arms for eternity…

Without realizing what he was doing, his hands automatically moved on their own. Reaching once more to the boy’s neck.

Holding onto him.

I must obtain you Cha Hakyeon, Even if it means to break you apart and force you to stay by my side forever.

Taekwoon was choking Hakyeon yet Hakyeon did not fight back. He didn’t want to fight back and let Taekwoon do as he pleased.

*   *   *   *   *   *

Hongbin woke up early in the morning because he wasn’t able to get a decent night’s rest from thinking too much about almost losing Hakyeon. Was he really that unreliable for Hakyeon to leave him instead of bringing him to the Tower? Or so much as to almost losing his battle against Taekwoon that Hakyeon had to jump in to help instead of escaping?

He trapped himself early in the morning for his studies and before he realized it, hours have passed. Everyone should’ve woken up by now already.

He went out into the living room to see that Jaehwan and Ravi were chatting happily with one another and was completely oblivious that Hongbin had passed by the room. Hongbin felt it was wise not to disturb the two lovebirds and helped them close the door.

“Where’s Hakyeon-hyung?” He asked himself.

Hongbin went around the place but there was no sign of the older. He peeked outside to the swamps to see if Hakyeon was training or not but the land remained dormant and silent. Hakyeon was nowhere to be found and Hongbin began to worry.

“Hey! Do you know where Hakyeon is?” Hongbin opened the door he had closed earlier to interrupt the two’s moment.

“Huh? Is he not in his room?” Jaehwan asked back.

Hongbin shook his head.

“Did you check outside?” Ravi said.

“I checked. But I can’t find him anywhere. Did you guys really not see him at all?”

“He was here during breakfast and I thought he went outside to train,” Jaehwan replied.

“If he went anywhere else, he should’ve told us first. Where could he have gone to?”

The three began to worry about the missing Hakyeon.

“Me and Hongbin will go into town and see if he’s there. You stay here and wait for him if he returns okay?” Ravi told Jaehwan.

“Got it. Stay safe.”

Ravi and Hongbin went around town but could not find Hakyeon anywhere. The two eventually split up to make their search more efficient but neither had the luck.

Hongbin didn’t think his wandering about would eventually lead him back to the place that haunted him the most. The Forest of Nightmares.

He didn’t want to enter but it was as if something was pulling him in and telling him that that might be the place where he could find the older boy. After all, inside this very forest was a special place for Hakyeon and that Jung Taekwoon.

He made it across the bridge without a single problem and unlike the first time he was here, Hongbin could defend himself from the spirits that followed him. Even though Hongbin was no longer too afraid of the place, he still didn’t like the forest very much and quickly made his way through the towering trees and vines.

He definitely found Hakyeon but what he saw made him more afraid. His body was trembling from the worst possible scenario that could have happened and witnessed Taekwoon strangling the older with his own hands. Hakyeon was unconscious and didn’t fight back at all. Hongbin’s body reacts violently at what he was seeing and immediately rushed towards Taekwoon to save Hakyeon.

Please let me make it in time. Hongbin prayed desperately.

Hongbin cast a magical spell of fire that hit Taekwoon directly at the back. Taekwoon’s reaction was slow and didn’t sense the attack coming at all. He was still dangerously lusting over Hakyeon’s body and didn’t know what he was doing. His back began to feel the scorching fire that was burning through his skin. He immediately looked back to see who it was interrupting him and to his annoyance, was the same boy that escaped with Hakyeon from before.

“Get away from him!” Hongbin shouted and launched endless amounts of attacks towards Taekwoon.

Taekwoon flinched back and took his hands away from Hakyeon’s neck, finally realizing what he was doing. He looked at his own hands and his body was starting to shake with fear… he had almost killed Hakyeon with these very hands. He choked on reality and almost couldn’t believe what he was doing. But he couldn’t be surprised for too long as the boy named ‘Hongbin’ was refusing to back out. The boy was desperately trying to protect Hakyeon while he was unconsciously trying to kill him instead.

Frightened and angry at the same time, Hongbin could not stop his attacks. His mind was telling him to stop Taekwoon at all cost even if it might end up saddening Hakyeon in the end. Once Taekwoon had fallen back, Hongbin immediately went to Hakyeon’s side to see how the older was doing.

Hakyeon had fallen unconscious. He was still breathing but almost barely. Hongbin could hear the shortage of breath in Hakyeon, which only meant one thing… Taekwoon was really trying to kill Hakyeon.

Ravi and Hyuk have already warned them how dangerous this Taekwoon was at the moment and even though Hakyeon didn’t believe that Taekwoon would do anything to hurt him, Hongbin saw otherwise. Taekwoon was willing to hurt Hakyeon. First, he pointed his blade at the older and now, he was actually trying to kill him too. Each time Hongbin saw the two together, only the worst possible scenario would happen.

*   *   *   *   *   *

Taekwoon saw how worried Hongbin was about Hakyeon and the fact that the stranger was holding tightly onto his ex-lover who had fallen unconscious made him furious. Another person aside from himself was holding onto Hakyeon, right in front of his own eyes. He didn’t think he would still feel this way about Hakyeon at all but he was jealous and wanted no one to be near Hakyeon. He wanted to possess Hakyeon for himself. If only he could steal Hakyeon away from the world and chain him to his side at all times instead…

“Don’t touch him…” Taekwoon commanded Hongbin, his anger slowly rising at the boy who kept interfering with his reunion with Hakyeon. “Who the hell are you!?”

Taekwoon roared furiously and angrily at Hongbin and demanded the boy to get away from Cha Hakyeon. The darkness responded to his wrath and his powers were infinite.

Hongbin felt danger but there was no way that he would run away from fear. He was determined to stand his grounds and protect Hakyeon no matter what.

“You’re not getting anywhere near him! You only know how to hurt him! He doesn’t deserve someone like you, so go away!” Hongbin shouted at him, which only made him angrier.

Who did this boy think he is to tell him what to do or not do? He, who is the Ruler of the Underworld.

*   *   *   *   *   *

Hongbin knew very well that he was still overpowered by Taekwoon’s strength but he wasn’t willing to back down at any time. He promised to protect Hakyeon and he was willing to sacrifice himself to do so. His magic was running low and he could feel his body was aching for rest yet he persisted. He stood firmly on his grounds and fought back the most powerful God of the Underworld with everything he’s got.

Taekwoon could sense the irregularity in Hongbin’s powers. The boy was clearly human, yet the magic he wielded was strangely that of a witch’s. But how?

He knew he was much stronger than Hongbin but he could still feel the pressure that the other was giving him during each one of his attacks.

Is this the power of someone who cares so much about you? About Cha Hakyeon? Did you bring this boy here to tell me you’ve forgotten about me? That you found someone else you’re willing to break? Or was it just me who you wanted to throw away?

His negativity was beginning to devour him. The darkness surged throughout his entire body and the Moon heard his rage. It responded violently to the sudden increase of dark powers and immediately gave Taekwoon even more power.

Hongbin saw the darkness grew right before his very own eyes and was surprised to see that Taekwoon’s power was continuously increasing. Taekwoon had all the intentions to kill him.

Hongbin was defending every hit Taekwoon sent at him but his body could only endure so much. Just then, a helping hand rushed towards him. A bolt of fire flew right at Taekwoon.

It was Ravi.

“Stop.” Ravi came rushing to help as he saw his pupil fighting desperately against Taekwoon.

Taekwoon was surprised to see Ravi again after banishing him from the mansion and nearly killing him for defying his orders.

“Are you okay?” Ravi asked Hongbin and stood by his side to see that Hakyeon was unconscious. “What happened here?”

“He tried to kill Hakyeon!” Hongbin told him.

“What?” Ravi was surprised. He knew Taekwoon was a dangerous existence to Hakyeon now and as much as he didn’t want to fight Taekwoon, he might not have a choice in the end.

“Why are you here?” Taekwoon asked Ravi as he saw the other standing by the stranger’s side, opposing him once more.

“To stop you. You’ve already gone too far Taekwoon. You need to stop while you can.”

“Stop? Me? Who the hell do you think you are to tell me what to do?”

“You’re right. I have no rights but at the very least I know what you’re doing is wrong. Stop falling into the trap of the darkness while you still can. When will you finally be satisfied with the destruction that you’ve already caused? Until you kill Cha Hakyeon?”

Ravi’s question surprised Taekwoon. The possibility of him actually killing Hakyeon was almost unimaginable. It scared him.

Was he really that angry at Hakyeon to the point that he was willing to end the other’s life? No. But then why? Why can’t he stop?

Taekwoon looked painfully once more at Hakyeon’s face. The boy was still unconsciously laying on the ground, almost dying. If the boy Hongbin didn’t come in time, he would have killed Hakyeon. Shocked to see Hakyeon in such a state, he could feel his heart sink in. He doubted himself and stepped back. Taekwoon fled.

Why did you come here Hakyeon? Did you come to break me apart? Or… did you come here so I could break you instead?

A/N:

Fun Fact #20: Parts of this chapter was inspired by Taekwoon's Blossom Tears with Lyn MV as well as LR's Beautiful Liar. I will always remember how intense and 'dangerous' his eyes can be for someone who technically claims to be camera-shy. His eyes are just so unique and I always think that he would be perfect in a drama and acting as a quiet psychopath like him in Blossom Tears. 

Fun Fact #21: The whole 'Taekwoon looking at his hands and trembling' part... please refer to Hyde :) or 'Jajangmyun Concept Idols performance' kekekeke

Also lastly, as this fanfic is coming to an end soon, I want to know everyone's story about how you guys became Starilghts or know of VIXX? The longer the story the better! I want to know it all. I'll tell you guys my story in the next chapter. It's nothing special tbh but I do think it's fate that I ended up being a Starlight and VIXX Trash. 

One last thing (for realz this time), if I was to write another NEO fanfic, what kind of story would you guys like to read? I'm just curious about everyone's 'taste' in genres and looking for inspirations for the next one. I never thought I would have so much fun writing fanfics honestly. I'm enjoying every minute of it and hope you guys are having fun as well.