[CHAPTER XIX]

Not Knowing How to Let Go

Taekwoon thought about Jaehwan’s words. Will he really regret it if he never got to confess to Hakyeon before he leaves? It’s true he really wanted to stay by Hakyeon’s side forever, as long as time permits him but when he saw how sick Hakyeon’s mother was becoming and how worried her husband had been, he felt sorry if he made Hakyeon feel the same way.

Even if there’s a slight possibility that Hakyeon would return his feelings, what if he becomes sick? He didn’t want to cause any burden on Hakyeon. His friend deserves better and he could only hope that this girl, Soo-ah, would take care of Hakyeon. It breaks Taekwoon’s heart to have this thought, to give up everything that he’s worked so hard for but what else can he do?

*   *   *   *   *   *

Taekwoon woke up late in the afternoon the next day after tiring himself out from thinking too much. He went downstairs to find something to eat despite his injuries. It didn’t seem like any of the brothers were around at the moment so he had no choice but to help himself. He made his way down to the kitchen with a bit of help from Hyuk and limped down the steps. As he was grabbing some food, he heard the door chimes go off. He thought one of the brothers might be home so he decided to go greet them. When he got to the entrance, the person that stood there was not someone he wanted to see.

Kwon Soo-ah.

“Good afternoon Taekwoon. I passed by and thought I might visit to see how you are doing. I heard about what happened the other night and was quite worried. I’m glad you seem better though.” Her smile irritated him.

Leave, he wished to tell her.

Taekwoon didn’t say anything and thought that his silence would eventually push her away but he was wrong. Rather, she invited herself in, to take care of Taekwoon. She led him back to the kitchen and told him to sit still while she prepared him lunch at someone else’s home and kitchen. An uninvited guest.

Although Taekwoon was willing to give Hakyeon to Soo-ah so that his friend could be happy, Jaehwan was right, something about her irritated him as well. It wasn’t because she’s going to be Hakyeon’s wife but her pushiness despite that smile… it seemed so fake to him from the moment he met her.

That smile had every ulterior motive to it… that’s the feeling Taekwoon could sense when he sees her and even Hyuk felt the same way. But why couldn’t Hakyeon see that? Was he just too blinded with love to see that she may be hiding something we don’t know about?

“Here you go. I made some soup that will be perfect to warm you up and keep you nutritious. It will help with your recovery. You shouldn’t be eating just anything when you’re still this hurt.” She said as she placed the soup forcefully in front of Taekwoon and even cooled it for him.

Taekwoon ate the soup as fast as he could thinking she would leave once he was done. As he was eating, he could feel the girl’s gaze on him.

“What?” He glared at her.

“Huh? Nothing…” She was starting to turn red and tried to cover up the fact that she had been staring very obviously at Taekwoon the entire time with that smile of hers again.

Something definitely doesn’t feel right about her.

“How did you and Hakyeon become friends? He told me you two have known each other since you were kids. He talks a lot about you, many great things. Like how you can sing…”

Taekwoon didn’t want to answer. It was none of her business. Taekwoon got up and without bothering to reply to her, he decided to return to his bedroom.

“Wait!” She ran up to him and tripped.

In reflex, Taekwoon turned around to hold onto her but because of his injuries, he tripped back onto the floor and she laid right on top of him.

Taekwoon could sense the girl’s uncontrollable heartbeat and almost her not wanting to get up.

“Get off,” he demanded.

“Uh, right. Sorry!” She turned even redder than before.

“I’m tired, I’ll be heading back to my room. You should go home as well.” Taekwoon said to her and left her behind.

*   *   *   *   *   *

Hakyeon was debating on whether or not to visit Taekwoon since morning came. He was upset after hearing that Taekwoon has decided to leave and couldn’t sleep the past few nights. He circled around the inn thinking back and forth whether or not to go in. Just as he finally decided to go in, the front door burst opened and saw Soo-ah running out. Her face was beet red and she dashed in the opposite direction, unable to see Hakyeon.

Why is her face so red? What was she doing at Jaehwan’s inn? Hakyeon knew Jaehwan didn’t like Soo-ah after he introduced the two of them to one another so what was she doing at the inn? He got curious and went inside to look but no one seemed to be at home. He passed by the kitchen to see the fallen chairs and empty bowls lying on the dining table as if someone had just finished their meal here. He searched the common area but there was no one in sight. None of the Lee brothers were at home. Then by instinct, he walked upstairs. Taekwoon should have been the only one at the inn and if that was the case… He felt uneasy as he walked up the stairs. If he was here and so was Soo-ah, what were the two doing while Hakyeon wasn’t around? He was starting to get suspicious. But of who?

Hakyeon knocked on the door.

“Jaehwan?” Taekwoon asked.

“No, it’s me,” Hakyeon answered as he opened the door.

Taekwoon smiled the moment he saw Hakyeon but right after, that smile faded. Hakyeon didn’t know why. What was wrong? Did he do something?

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine. I ate the porridge you made the other day but you never visited me afterward. Anyways, thanks.” Hakyeon could feel Taekwoon trying to avert his gaze as he replied.

“Why did you leave suddenly? You could’ve waited for me to get home before you left you know. I was worried!” Hakyeon starting to feel slightly angry, both by what he heard from Taekwoon and Jaehwan’s conversation as well as his friend was obviously trying to ignore him.

Taekwoon could hear the change in Hakyeon’s voice and finally look at him.

“Nothing. What’s wrong? There’s no reason to be angry right? I just… didn’t want to hinder you nor your family too much. Jaehwan has been a great help so it’s alright.” Taekwoon trying his best not to irritate Hakyeon, who he had no idea why his friend was becoming mad at him. Is he mad that I left without saying anything? Why is he so sensitive today?

“You… didn’t want to bother me or is it because you plan on leaving me?” Hakyeon couldn’t control his temper anymore.

“Huh?”

“You plan on leaving me right? Even though you said you would stay! Even though you said that as long as I wanted, you would stay by my side. Why did you change your mind? Is it because…”

Hakyeon broke down in tears. Taekwoon didn’t think Hakyeon would be the type to cry so much. It seems like his eyes easily gave out whenever something good or bad happens. Hakyeon usually sounds or looks so happy when they use to talk in their secret base, so why has he been crying so much? Since when? Was it since Taekwoon arrived in town? Was he the reason behind Hakyeon’s unhappiness and tears?

“Is it because you don’t like me after all?” Hakyeon continued with his voice shaking. “It’s the way I look, isn’t it? Or is it because you find me annoying or clingy? Did I not turn out the way you thought I’d be? Maybe Jaehwan is better as your friend than me.”

“Huh? What are you saying? Hakyeon-ah, it’s not what you think. Stop blaming it on yourself. You’re not the reason so stop crying. Please.”

“Liar! I heard you and Jaehwan talking the other day! You said you were going to leave and that you wouldn’t or couldn’t stay because I’m getting married! Why? How could you…”

It’s true though, Taekwoon really didn’t want to stay longer to see his love get taken away by someone else but if he said he’s okay after all, will Hakyeon stop his crying? Maybe if he left after Hakyeon’s wedding then his precious friend here would stop his tears. Even if it means lying to his own feelings, as long as Hakyeon could go back to being his cheerful self, maybe…

“Then if I don’t get married, will you stay here forever?” Hakyeon asked.

“What are you saying?” Causing Taekwoon to become confused at what Hakyeon was suggesting.

“I said if I don’t get married to Soo-ah, will you stay instead? You were against our marriage from the beginning. If you don’t like it… I won’t do it. I won’t get married.”

Hakyeon was willing to give up the marriage in order for him to stay but he didn’t understand why Hakyeon would go to such an extent for him.

“Why-“

Just before he could question his friend any further, Jaehwan’s loud voice interrupted him.

“Hey, Taekwoon! I’m back! Did you miss me?” Jaehwan barged into the room, interrupting the two that was having a serious conversation. “Huh? Hakyeonie? When did you get here?”

Jaehwan stopped as soon as he saw Hakyeon in the room.

“Nothing Jaehwan. Nothing…” Hakyeon hid his tears well. Jaehwan didn’t even notice the boy’s eyes were just red.

“Well, you came here just in time. The granny next door baked this huge apple pie for me and I thought it’d be great to share. Plus, I know Taekwoon has a sweet tooth. Right?”

“Thanks, Jaehwan. Let’s go downstairs and eat,” Taekwoon suggested. “Hakyeon? What’s wrong?”

Hakyeon wasn’t moving from his spot and he was still seemingly out of character. Taekwoon couldn’t help but worry for his friend after all.

“Sorry Jaehwan, you go down first.” Taekwoon signaling Jaehwan to leave the two of them alone for a bit.

Jaehwan understood and went back downstairs.

“What’s wrong Hakyeon?” Taekwoon took Hakyeon and placed him to sit on the bed. He knelt down in front of Hakyeon in order to see his friend’s sad face yet Hakyeon didn’t say a word.

What’s wrong with him today? He thought.

“You and Jaehwan seem to be really close. I didn’t know you like sweets. Even though I’ve known you longer than anyone else.” Hakyeon finally looked at Taekwoon and grabbed his wrist nervously.

“It’s not that I particularly like sweets, just some. But that isn’t the reason why you’re sad is it?”

Hakyeon was refusing to let any more words out nor wanting to explain his unusual behavior to Taekwoon. He clung onto Taekwoon but didn’t say a word. He didn’t want to let go.