"Your Lee Taeyong is legit impossible."

Ten tells Yuta when they meet at the hallway. He's classmates with both Winwin and Taeyong on his previous class so he saw them together before Yuta did. He just didn't want to tell.

"Is he mine?" Yuta asked him.

Ten covered his mouth in disgust. "Don't gay me at this early."

"You at Korean when happens. What happened?"

"I'm pissed." Ten snorts. "Doyoung is being annoying. I saw him talking to Taeyong earlier and suddenly he's with Winwin again. And he was carrying Seulgi's bag too."

"He likes to get on your nerves, huh." Yuta laughed. Ignoring the first part.

"Don't laugh. I know you're bothered too."

"We're like minors. We won't be jailed if we murder, right?"

Yuta waits for Taeyong until midnight to tell him what went on and why he hang out with Winwin today when he promised Yuta he's going to avoid him. It's a selfish demand but Yuta wants things to be that way. But the older didn't mention anything. So he asked, "Where were you in lunch? I looked for you at the cafeteria."

Taeyong paused for a moment. "I studied at the library alone."

Lies. Yuta wants to say but he bites back his tongue. He wonders if Taeyong is more fond of Winwin than he is to him. If Yuta is just forcing himself too much on Taeyong's life. He can't help but thinking Taeyong followed him here just to escape from his stupid flub he'd done back in Seoul. His words may be promising, but knowing him for years, Taeyong has his tendencies to lie. To get away from his mistakes. He doesn't tell Yuta everything too. It hurts to admit to himself that afterall these years, he hasn't gained Taeyong's trust.

"Goodnight, hyung."

When he was sure Taeyong was sleeping, Yuta couldn't bottle up all the thoughts playing in his head. He went out of their apartment to call Ten at 1 am. It took 5 calls for him to finally pick up Yuta's call, groaning on the other line for being awaken at this time of the night.

Ten listens to what he says carefully, though.

"Dude, don't do anything stupid."

"What? I never thought that."

"You're saying he doesn't trust you enough. Do you even trust him?"

"I----"

"Because if you do, things wouldn't have been this problematic, man. The reason why he's feeling bitter towards you is you never tell him anything." Ten scolds from the other line.

"It's not easy to tell him, you know that. I can't just risk what we have."

"Risk what? What do you have with him, pal? A suffocating bond you call friendship?"

" you." Yuta tells him casually. He should've known the younger gets savage when you disturb him in his sleep.

"No, you him. Like right now."

Yuta ends the call. He'll talk to Ten tomorrow and whack him for the last sentence.

"Yuta."

Startled, Yuta looks at their door to see Taeyong. He was scratching the sleep out of his eyes.

"Why are you awake?" Yuta asked him, making his way inside the house.

"Why are you outside?"

"I picked up a call. I didn't want to wake you up." Yuta tells him.

"Who called you?" He asked.

"Ten."

"Why would he call you at this time?" Taeyong asked again.

"No, I called him."

The question died down on Taeyong's throat. Opting to go back to bed and sleep his concerns away.

Ten thinks Yuta was close to tears the next day when they meet at their usual place, the school building's rooftop.

"I don't remember anything I told you last night."

Ten tells him, with Doyoung on his side. Yuta didn't feel uncomfortable having him around, though. It was fine to talk to Ten about his feelings towards Taeyong and he didn't care about Doyoung hearing it.

"I know." Yuta nods. "I'm so hurt. I don't k ow what to do anymore."

"Then what do you want me to do?"

Yuta shrugs. Maybe he can still sort things out. "Talk to Winwin. For me."

"That's unfair." Doyoung butts in. "You can't just cut Winwin off the line. What if it's Winwin that Taeyong likes and not you?"

"That's exactly what I was thinking last night." Yuta admits. A sullen look on his face.

"You don't have to say that. Why did you even follow me up here?!" Ten yelled at Doyoung.

"I like seeing you frustrated. It's cute."

Yuta ignores whatever is it the two are going on about and decides to focus on his feelings. He always seeks for advices he never listen to. Probably the exact reason why he's so miserable right now.

Yuta stared blankly on the school grounds with Doyoung and Ten bantering in the background. The world really likes to play with his feelings cos his eyes passed by Taeyong and Winwin walking by the fountain.

"Oh." Doyoung says when he saw them too. "Let's make a bet, Ten. Who do you think will man up first?"

"Not Yuta. Definitely no."

Doyoung yawned. "Yeah, he's probably gonna ask you to do it for him."

"He has no balls."

"I'm here. I'm here." Yuta groaned, informing them.

"But Yuta hyung," Doyoung laughed. "I never expected you're into guys."

"Shut up."

"Yeah, he's still embarrassed about it." Ten tells him.

"Have you told anybody?" Yuta asked Doyoung.

"No." He shook his head. "Was gonna tell Jaehyun but I got lazy."

"No way." Ten looks at him impossibly.

"Are you gay too?" Doyoung asked him.

"No way." Ten says again. Sighing in defeat leaving Yuta and Doyoung alone. He'd talk to Yuta sometime later without Doyoung around.

"What about Taeyong?" He asked Yuta. "I heard from Herin. I think you know her."

That witch. Yuta curses inwardly. "If you're just making fun you can off now. You heard it right? What I did to Winw---"

"Chill." Doyoung huffs at the warning. "God actually sent me guide you."

"It's a lot better when you're quiet."

"Listen, hyung. If you want him that much, go tell him. Before Winwin gets him first."

"You think it's that easy? What if he rejects me?"

"Then you find another one."

And somehow, Yuta thinks that makes sense. It's not like he can fret forever over his unrequited love. He can find another one. Someone else who can love him the way Taeyong never did.

Yuta reckons it's time for him to stop all his delusions about loving Taeyong. It's just never going to happen for his bestfriend to love him the back the way he wants to. It's sadistic, he thinks, but he'd rather force his friendship back with Taeyong than lose him.

They can go back to being casual friends the same way they were before. Where Yuta didn't have to tiptoe around him and Taeyong can be his clumsy and OC buddy again. He can eat his feelings away and find something else that interests him. Yuta believes time can heal his heartbreak. He'll get over Taeyong, he knows.

Having all these in mind, Yuta came up to Taeyong one morning. He tried all his best to be friendly. "Hyung, do you mind if I get a girlfriend?"

Taeyong gave him a questioning. "What?"

"A girlfriend. I'm like 17 but never dated anybody."

"Why do you ask me?"

"Nothing I just---." I just want to make you jealous but jokes on me for even thinking that.

"Can you get me the soy sauce?"

Yuta obliged and watches Taeyong carefully but the older's face was unchanged. He really doesn't care.

"Our holiday to Japan is nearing. We can visit the shrine that you like." Yuta tells him.

"Oh. It's 2 months from now."

"Yeah. This time, I'd introduce you to my neighbor I told you before, remember? She's really pretty and smart too." Yuta says, enthusiasts.

"You can't be wanting to date someone just because they're pretty, Yuta."

"But Mina is----"

"Can you cut the meat for me? My hand hurts from the laundry.

Not only that he wasn't jealous, Taeyong too doesn't give a damn about what Yuta says. Why did he even think he stood a chance? Ten was right, Yuta is really a funny man.

"You hurt yourself? Where? Show me." Taeyong turn off the stove and strides to Yuta when the younger screamed.

Yuta hid his hand on his back. "It doesn't hurt. It's tiny. You don't have to wor---"

"I'm worried, okay? I am. Now give me your hand." Taeyong orders reaching out to Yuta's hand. His index finger is bleeding and he can see the small cut. "Sit down."

Yuta obliged. Feeling completely dumb. All he had to do is cut the chicken meat to lessen Taeyong's work, but he ends up cutting his finger and having Taeyong deal with it. Instead of helping, he gave him more work.

Taeyong sat on the chair beside Yuta, opening the box of their first aid kit. His hands were shaking when he held up Yuta's finger, afraid to hurt him. Gently dabbing the cotton with alcohol on the small cut.

Yuta watches him intently. It was always amusing to see Taeyong's eyes. They were dark and expressive. His long and thick lashes makes him look ethereal, too perfect to be real, that it makes anyone jealous. Except for Yuta, because he finds him rather fascinating.

"I'm sorry." They said in unison.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you do that."

"Hyung, I---It's not your fault. I'm just...stupid." Yuta admits.

The cut stings a bit due to the alcohol but it's soothing how Taeyong handles him as if he's something fragile. Taeyong finishes it by carefully wrapping a yellow band aid.

"Thank you..." Yuta says.

He studied Taeyong's face. It was faint and Taeyong looks so exhausted. Biting his lip, Yuta loathes at himself for being someone so tiring for Taeyong.

"I'm sorry." He says again.

Taeyong only responded by tapping him on the knee and went back on cooking.

Yuta hesitates whether or not it will be necesarry to hug Taeyong from the back. Like he always do when Taeyong is pissed at him or if he looks tired. But Yuta guesses that kind of affection from him isn't welcome by Taeyong anymore.

Somehow, Yuta finds another consolation. It occurs to him that Ten is probably fed up by his constant grumbling. But lately, he finds Doyoung listening to him.

"Am I tiring?" Yuta asked.

Doyoung was on a coffee shop when Yuta texted him and ask the older to come to the place. It was quiet and relaxing.

"Name someone who you think doesn't find you tiring."

"Ten?"

"Then date him."

"You're so funny sometimes." Yuta hissed. "I gave up though. I'm just gonna abandon this infatuation. He's more important than this infecting feelings anyway."

Doyoung looks at him impossibly. "Dude, that's like the same difference."

Groaning, Yuta placed both palms on his face. "He's just...so important. And I can't let him go."

"In other words you're still hopeful? Expecting he'd realize your feelings one day?" Doyoung asked, unmindful of Yuta's feelings. The other though, nods. "But that seem like a fine idea. Not that bad. It's not like you've been waiting that long, right?"

"Right...." Yuta nods. Now that Doyoung mentioned it, he wonders how long he's been admittedly in love with Taeyong. He's not sure himself.

"Did you like him way back to Seoul?"

Yuta frowned, shaking his head. "I--I don't think so. But I was always grateful to him. Having him around makes me happy."

"That ." Doyoung jest. "Would've been better if your hormones didn't kick right?"

"Feelings, man! Not hormones." Yuta corrected.

"Yeah because you want to marry him and make cookies with him in the future. Not babies, not at all." Doyoung fakes a gag.

"Huh?!" Yuta jolts in surprise as to why Doyoung would say that.

"I'm surprised Ten didn't dig this issue with you." He snickered. "Why are you acting like a ?"

Yuta didn't think Doyoung would dig into obscene topics. He wants to be like him who is a free soul that says what he wants. Maybe that way, it'd be easier to confess.

"But Doyoung, why are you doing this? What do you want from me? From Ten?" Yuta asked, curious. He isn't sure why Doyoung suddenly butts in on his and Ten's business.

"I'm bored." Doyoung yawned. "But don't worry. It's not like I hate any of you."

Taeyong was slumped down on the couch watching a cartoon when Yuta entered the apartment. It's quarter to 4 o'clock and the older's class on Wednesdays is dismissed at 2:30 but he's still wearing his uniforms.

"Hey." Yuta greets him.

Taeyong only hummed in response. Yuta guesses he was tired.

"Have you eaten?" Yuta asked, flopping beside him. "Hyung are you not feeling well?"

Taeyong shook his head, shifting so he could lie down with his head resting on Yuta's lap.

Yuta felt like Taeyong is avoiding him for days and he always opt to shake that thought of. He could only be over thinking again and tries to be casual around Taeyong like the usual. Yuta believes the friendship they had before, the ecstatic harmony, they can have it back. Where there's no need for them to feel uneasy around one another.

He hesitates whether or not he should place a hand on Taeyong's head in hopes to comfort him. Taeyong saw the way Yuta withdraws his hand, so he takes it and held him like his life depends on it.

"When you get a girlfriend, make sure she doesn't hurt you okay?"

It was startling as to why Taeyong suddenly tells him that. Yuta never thought he would be thinking of what he told him the other day.

"Okay." Yuta says. Feeling bad about all this. It was pathetic to even think of finding someone else to get over Taeyong. He is pathetic.

Taeyong squeezed his hand. "Also, treat her nicely. And love her that way she deserves to be."

Yuta can only nod. He wonders what will happen if he just tell Taeyong that he's the one Yuta wants to love. That it's only him Yuta wants to be with. But he couldn't. He's afraid.

"And if you marry her, he should be able to cook well. So you don't starve and lose weight."

Yuta hummed in response.

"She should know how to organize the house too. Because you're too gross and messy." Taeyong let's go of his hand.

Yuta suddenly feels cold. He wants to hold him again.

"She should know that you're allergic to dogs too. That you like vanilla ice cream and chicken nuggets."

Taeyong's voice sounds like music that Yuta closes his eyes, listening.

"That you like to wear white socks and hates them black. She should know too that you hate scented fabric softener."

Right now, Yuta is actually surprised that Taeyong are saying those. These are mere details about him he never told anybody. Maybe Taeyong knows him that much.

When Yuta finds Taeyong, Winwin and Hansol at the cafeteria, he hesitates to approach them. He's so jealous he can feel his blood boil. But Hansol is already calling and waving at him.

"Yuta." Taeyong pats the seat next to him. "Have you eaten?"

Nodding, Yuta flops down next to him. He's facing Hansol, while Taeyong is facing Winwin. The younger gave him a smile which he returned half heartedly. He doesn't think can simply ease out his spite towards Winwin. No matter the amount of generosity the younger shows him. Until he leaves Taeyong alone then maybe Yuta can be slightly keen on him.

He wants to hold Taeyong's hand, or hug him like he always do when they're alone for Winwin to see. Yuta wants to let him know that Taeyong is...............

A hand was placed on Yuta's knee. "I asked if have you eaten?"

"I--I'm not hungry. Let's go out to eat?" He says, resting his head on Taeyong's shoulder.

"I still have a class."

Yuta closed his eyes, suddenly it was smothering to be this close to Taeyong. He was saying something, probably telling Yuta they could go out sometime later, but he's already so fed up with that little of rejection.

"I'll just eat with Ten." Yuta said, standing up and cutting whatever that is Taeyong was telling him.

"I think he's at the gym, hyung." Winwin tells him.

Not even sparing him a glance, Yuta nods his head and leaves.

"Find me a chic." Yuta tells Johnny.

Ten looked at Yuta baffled. Why is Yuta suddenly asking Johnny that when he has yet to sort his things with Taeyong?

"Oh!" Johnny exclaimed keenly. "You came to the right guy."

Ten looked around the lobby. Johnny's excited voice is booming in the place, it's embarrassing. People are looking at them now. He facepalmed at the amount of names and numbers Johnny is blabbering to Yuta right now.

"Make sure you text everyone. And the one who replies first--BAM!" Johnny clap his hands loud. "You go, my friend."

"Wow, you're the man." Yuta says, scrolling through his contacts. Johnny even made three seperate lists for pretty, y and cute.

"Which list are you gonna message first?"

"I don't know but..... Taeyong said I should date someone nice."

"Man, you're boring." Johnny sighed in disappointment. He didn't waste all his effort just for that.

"Taeyong is right." Ten butts in. "Besides I don't think Yuta is into pretty girls."

Yuta gave Ten a look.

"Nice girls. He likes girls that are nice. Yeah. Girls." Ten scoffed.

"What did you call me here for?"

Their heads turned to Taeyong who is now standing behind Ten's seat.

"Oh--I.." Ten stutters, offering the seat next to him. "I'm really confused about the instructions. Can you help me, hyung? Please have a seat."

Nodding, Taeyong took a seat and browse on Ten's notes. Ten could've sworn Yuta is boring holes into his head now.

"Come on, Yuta!" Johnny whined. "Or just date Soyeon! She obviously has the hots for you anyway!"

"Wh--at are you saying?" Yuta stutters when he saw Taeyong glanced at him.

"Or Yena! She's drop dead gorgeous and she asked for your number what the hell are you doing man!"

"I--I don't know what you're sa-----"

"Yena!!! Yena!!!!"

everything. Yuta curses inwardly when he saw her approaching Johnny who's waving frantically.

"Hey, Yena! Did you finished your homework? By the way, I'm with Yuta." Johnny talks fast.

Smiling, the girl bowed and waved at Yuta. "Good afternoon, oppa."

Returning the smile, Yuta greeted her back. He stuttered when he saw Taeyong still staring at him.

"Did you read the manga I gave you?" Yena asked Yuta.

"Oh--yeah. I--it's really good. Thanks again." Yuta stood, shyly bowing at her.

Heedless of the tense atmosphere was Johnny who's rather psyched. Yuta was thankful when he heard Yena's friends calling her, waving goodbye at them.

"Thats my boy!" Johnny says, clapping. "You're so good at this."

"What did you say, hyung?" Ten asked Taeyong.

"Nothing." Taeyong shook his head. "You can look up the jargon words on Google. Johnny is better at English than I am anyway."

"Right...I----thanks hyung."

To: 10

what was that for?

=>From:10

Idk I just thought you'd collect urself when u see him

=>From:10

Bc dude u were asking mr. Brocolli for girls wtf

To: 10

and why can't i do that?

=>From:10

Why??? Bcos ur looking for a ing rebound and u might hurt them so stfu yuta just bc ur hurting doesnt mean someone has to hurt too

To: 10

that can't stop me from giving it a shot

=>From:10

I thought ur only half-baked in academics

To: 10

stop acting smart

=>From:10

I'm not. Ur just stupid.

To: 10

you.

=>From:10

Not today

"You don't read."

Taeyong promptly tells him the moment they entered their apartment. Yuta wasn't even done taking off his shoes yet.

"I arranged your closet too. There's no book there."

. Yuta's jaw dropped. His closet. It can't be.

-------

whats in ur closet yuta??? Omg I think next chap is last (odg i made a mistake tjanks for correcting me ily so much)