[R] 100% Tangible or 100% Invisible?
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By: minniecrafts
Poster
totally a sweet read that you just got to expect the unexpected
Information
► Genre(s):
• Angst
• Romance
• Fluff
► No. of Chapters:
• 13 Chapters
► Story Status:
• Ongoing
► Category:
• Multi-Chaptered
► Total: 085 / 100
• Angst
• Romance
• Fluff
► No. of Chapters:
• 13 Chapters
► Story Status:
• Ongoing
► Category:
• Multi-Chaptered
► Total: 085 / 100
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The Review
• Title: 009 / 010
The title fits the story as the story is a fluffy romance; the title also fits the story line because it kind of refers (in my perception) the push and pull of Jungkook's feelings between Jimin and Taehyung. The title is also a certified eyecandy, which is a good catch since it can attract more readers and arouse curiosity.
• Description / Foreword: 017 / 020
The description is accurate and detailed. Albeit it sounded a bit cliché (taken that it made me have a first impression that it is a fluffy love triangle), it has a ring to it.
I like how the foreword is neatly arranged. The credits are all lined up and there was no scattered links. Albeit I wish there was more information (maybe a further explanation without revealing too much or a small author's note), it is nice to see the foreword neat.
• Appearance: 005 / 005
The poster and background enough made the story seem fluffy, giving the readers an expression that they should expect some fluffy interactions between the characters along with a romantic story line. The font wasn't too large or too small, and the color isn't too bright or an eyesore. The format of the text is alright. Overall, the appearance is alright.
• Plot: 017 / 020
The plot is some sort of fluff romantic style. So far, I did not read anything 'angsty' in the story. I think you had a misconception with the genre 'angst'. Angst refers to a genre in which you feel dreadful or anxious as you read the story line, or in general, it's some worriesome feeling about something trivial (if that makes sense). In my perspective, your story is fluffy.
The past of Jungkook and Taehyung couldn't be referred to as angst, it's just one of the tough parts of the story. I suggest you take the 'angst' genre out. Or if not, you can make a scene angsty enough, but do know that 'fluff' and 'angst' are two different genres. Fluff and angst normally don't go together, there's always one genre that dominates the other. Sorry if I typed an unnecessary rant about genres, but I figured that genres are part of the plot category.
Anyways, let's get on with the real deal. The story line is somewhat fluffy and romantic, I repeat. It seems to be some sort of typical romance story at first, but as I venture along the lives of Jungkook and the gang, I can't help but admit that I am engrossed to the story. There were a few questioning traits of the characters that makes me raise a brow sometimes, but we'll talk about that in the character section. The plot somehow has this allure in it. Albeit I've read a few stories with similar concepts, I liked how the plot goes. I do hope you can continue the flow of your story. It really has a nice touch to it, and I quite like how I suddenly stumble into unexpected events.
• Characters: 016 / 020
The characters all have different personalities and lives in different lifestyles, but somehow, the one gets to know each other by the means of another- I was like, what a small world! Anyways, I'll be breaking down the characters to describe them.
Let's start with the main protagonist, Jeon Jungkook. Jungkook is somewhat a bookworm with no friends. He currently lives at an apartment with his two roommates, Kim Seokjin and Kim Namjoon. He rather read books all day than socialize with other people. I find his character relatable to mine in so many levels. However, I do have a few questions that I would like to ask.
What happened after he lived with Namjoon? Did his parents searched for him? How did he finished highschool when he ran away from his super rich parents? How come his parents didn't manage to find him? Don't get me wrong, it looks like they did not care that much, but they're super rich. They could hire the best police or investigator or something and find him. That's just weird. Also, the way Jungkook says (and everyone says) that he doesn't have any friends. Why? Isn't Seokjin his friend? Nevertheless Namjoon? I mean, doesn't he consider Namjoon at least his friend?
Let's move on with Kim Taehyung. Taehyung is a part-time worker in this app called 'Invisible Boyfriend' app, I suppose. He's this weird, laidback and optimistic guy who strangely had an interest with Jungkook. His character is still really foggy to me despite of the revelation of his past. I mean, what happened? How did he got into the app? Is his job at th said app the reason how he paid off the financial stuff he needed back in high school (and now)? I hope you can give more light to his character. I am really curious to find out more about him.
Despite of a shorter appearnce compared to Taehyung (Jungkook and him only met for like five times and he still doesn't know Jungkook's name), Jimin seems to be much more clearer to interpret (or is it just me?). He is this friendly, optimistic and reading enthusiast type of guy who is also Taehyung's roommate. He works part-time in a cafe. I really like his character out of the bunch for some reason I cannot say. I hope he finally learns Jungkook's name (laughing at this one) and I am curious what he is talking about with Yoongi in chapter thirteen.
Overall, I didn't have much problems with your characters.
• Grammar:: 008/ 010
The grammar was alright, although I do recommend a proofread or a check on each chapter. There seems to be typos and there were a few repeated words that were better off replaced with other terms.
There was a chapter when Taehyung was sick and he was coughing, there was no need to put asterisks to indicate he was coughing, you can just describe it. Overall, I did not have much problem with your grammarization.
• Writing Style: 008 / 010
The writing style is captivating and good. It continues to develop by every chapter that passes. I just hope that you can describe things more.
In simple words, it's good, and I'm sure it'll improve more and more as time passes.
• Personal Satisfacton: 004 / 005
I'm more on the yuri side and is not much of a reader but I am currently anticipating for the next chapter. The story had told me to expect the unexpected and obviously, it's a small world. I like the interactions of the characters and the way the storyline is going. I hope you can continue that type of flow. I like your writing style but I do wish you can describe things more. The grammar was the only problem I could think of, but even that cannot be a nuisance to my binge-reading session. I had a hard time interpreting your story and reviewing it since I don't know how to say what I thought about it, but here it is.
It is a light, fluffy and sweet read with an entertaining interactions between the characters and amusing scenes. You definitely have me as one of the subsribers that is currently waiting for an update ^_^
The title fits the story as the story is a fluffy romance; the title also fits the story line because it kind of refers (in my perception) the push and pull of Jungkook's feelings between Jimin and Taehyung. The title is also a certified eyecandy, which is a good catch since it can attract more readers and arouse curiosity.
• Description / Foreword: 017 / 020
The description is accurate and detailed. Albeit it sounded a bit cliché (taken that it made me have a first impression that it is a fluffy love triangle), it has a ring to it.
I like how the foreword is neatly arranged. The credits are all lined up and there was no scattered links. Albeit I wish there was more information (maybe a further explanation without revealing too much or a small author's note), it is nice to see the foreword neat.
• Appearance: 005 / 005
The poster and background enough made the story seem fluffy, giving the readers an expression that they should expect some fluffy interactions between the characters along with a romantic story line. The font wasn't too large or too small, and the color isn't too bright or an eyesore. The format of the text is alright. Overall, the appearance is alright.
• Plot: 017 / 020
The plot is some sort of fluff romantic style. So far, I did not read anything 'angsty' in the story. I think you had a misconception with the genre 'angst'. Angst refers to a genre in which you feel dreadful or anxious as you read the story line, or in general, it's some worriesome feeling about something trivial (if that makes sense). In my perspective, your story is fluffy.
The past of Jungkook and Taehyung couldn't be referred to as angst, it's just one of the tough parts of the story. I suggest you take the 'angst' genre out. Or if not, you can make a scene angsty enough, but do know that 'fluff' and 'angst' are two different genres. Fluff and angst normally don't go together, there's always one genre that dominates the other. Sorry if I typed an unnecessary rant about genres, but I figured that genres are part of the plot category.
Anyways, let's get on with the real deal. The story line is somewhat fluffy and romantic, I repeat. It seems to be some sort of typical romance story at first, but as I venture along the lives of Jungkook and the gang, I can't help but admit that I am engrossed to the story. There were a few questioning traits of the characters that makes me raise a brow sometimes, but we'll talk about that in the character section. The plot somehow has this allure in it. Albeit I've read a few stories with similar concepts, I liked how the plot goes. I do hope you can continue the flow of your story. It really has a nice touch to it, and I quite like how I suddenly stumble into unexpected events.
• Characters: 016 / 020
The characters all have different personalities and lives in different lifestyles, but somehow, the one gets to know each other by the means of another- I was like, what a small world! Anyways, I'll be breaking down the characters to describe them.
Let's start with the main protagonist, Jeon Jungkook. Jungkook is somewhat a bookworm with no friends. He currently lives at an apartment with his two roommates, Kim Seokjin and Kim Namjoon. He rather read books all day than socialize with other people. I find his character relatable to mine in so many levels. However, I do have a few questions that I would like to ask.
What happened after he lived with Namjoon? Did his parents searched for him? How did he finished highschool when he ran away from his super rich parents? How come his parents didn't manage to find him? Don't get me wrong, it looks like they did not care that much, but they're super rich. They could hire the best police or investigator or something and find him. That's just weird. Also, the way Jungkook says (and everyone says) that he doesn't have any friends. Why? Isn't Seokjin his friend? Nevertheless Namjoon? I mean, doesn't he consider Namjoon at least his friend?
Let's move on with Kim Taehyung. Taehyung is a part-time worker in this app called 'Invisible Boyfriend' app, I suppose. He's this weird, laidback and optimistic guy who strangely had an interest with Jungkook. His character is still really foggy to me despite of the revelation of his past. I mean, what happened? How did he got into the app? Is his job at th said app the reason how he paid off the financial stuff he needed back in high school (and now)? I hope you can give more light to his character. I am really curious to find out more about him.
Despite of a shorter appearnce compared to Taehyung (Jungkook and him only met for like five times and he still doesn't know Jungkook's name), Jimin seems to be much more clearer to interpret (or is it just me?). He is this friendly, optimistic and reading enthusiast type of guy who is also Taehyung's roommate. He works part-time in a cafe. I really like his character out of the bunch for some reason I cannot say. I hope he finally learns Jungkook's name (laughing at this one) and I am curious what he is talking about with Yoongi in chapter thirteen.
Overall, I didn't have much problems with your characters.
• Grammar:: 008/ 010
The grammar was alright, although I do recommend a proofread or a check on each chapter. There seems to be typos and there were a few repeated words that were better off replaced with other terms.
There was a chapter when Taehyung was sick and he was coughing, there was no need to put asterisks to indicate he was coughing, you can just describe it. Overall, I did not have much problem with your grammarization.
• Writing Style: 008 / 010
The writing style is captivating and good. It continues to develop by every chapter that passes. I just hope that you can describe things more.
In simple words, it's good, and I'm sure it'll improve more and more as time passes.
• Personal Satisfacton: 004 / 005
I'm more on the yuri side and is not much of a reader but I am currently anticipating for the next chapter. The story had told me to expect the unexpected and obviously, it's a small world. I like the interactions of the characters and the way the storyline is going. I hope you can continue that type of flow. I like your writing style but I do wish you can describe things more. The grammar was the only problem I could think of, but even that cannot be a nuisance to my binge-reading session. I had a hard time interpreting your story and reviewing it since I don't know how to say what I thought about it, but here it is.
It is a light, fluffy and sweet read with an entertaining interactions between the characters and amusing scenes. You definitely have me as one of the subsribers that is currently waiting for an update ^_^
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Reviewer's Notes / Advices
I sincereley apologize for the long wait, thank you so much for being patient! The review did not turned out the way I expect it (I was going on for more explanations and insights in the character section but I ended up asking a lot of questions), but I hope it turned out alright. Your story is really good, the flow is nice and steady and it really fits the plot. You have a way of fitting in events and slipping in cliffhangers. The characters' interactions are really cute. Your story is really fluffy and romantic, I like how things are currently going. I don't have much of an advice than checking every chapter for correction in terms of grammar. Aside from that, I'll happily stay tuned to find out what happens next ^^
| trxsh | Modified By StoicBread |
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