6-22-13

(Donghae POV)

 

So today is June 22, another boring day, and i'm back to work again.

 

Composing a song again so i get paid, sitting here in the corner of the recording studio, looking for an inspiration to write.

But yet i can't even compose at this time of the day.

Should i write another ballad song again?

 

/someone opens the door/

 

"Hi bro. Are you done already?" Siwon sat beside me. Our former dorm mate, well he moved to somewhere near this company, so he'll arrive early for work. He's an actor and a member of the group 'Super Blue' for almost 7 years already in this company. (Along with Henry, Hangeng, Kangin, and Zhoumi), he's always busy with his schedule so he only visit the dorm once/twice a year.

 

"This will take a few hours for this to be done, man." I answered.

 

"Its okay, hae. So how's everyone?" He asked again.

 

"They're doing fine, you already miss us huh?" I elbowed him.

 

"Of course i miss you guys." He leans on my shoulder. "Oh man you're still shorter than me, its so hard for me to lean on your shoulder." He laughed.

 

"Shut the hell up, won." I glared at him.

 

"you know what, sometimes i think of leaving the group.. i'm always tired, busy and don't have enough time for friends." He opened up.

 

"What? why? How about your fans?" i asked him, well i really pity him, he always shares what he really feels inside, since he's the face of their group, he sure have lots of work to do. 

 

"i really want to quit, but i don't want to hurt them.." he looked down. 

 

So i tapped his back and comforts him. 

 

"I'm sure they will understand and still support you, bro." i gave him a smile, and he did the same. 

 

"Thanks hae," He stood up. "I'll go back to practice again, aye. See ya!" And he left. 

 

So i'm still here, almost 3 hours of thinking already. Well i'm composing a song for the Super Blue's 3rd Mini album, and they chose me to be the one who'll write and compose.

 

So i checked my phone for a while, taps the gallery icon, and all i can see in my gallery is my selcas with Jessica. I still can't move on from the past, it's still not clear for me..

All i can remember is.. i was rushed in the hospital and, stayed there for 5 days, i was in the state of depression and not talking that much. I don't know what really happened back then, before they rushed me in, i was walking alone with Jessica, and i don't know what happened all of a sudden, well they say that i fainted while walking, that's all.

And after that.. I was discharged from the hospital and Jessica wasn't there until the time she want to end our relationship. I think there's something happened i don't know til now.

 

"But I hope you aren’t hurting as much as me.

I hope for this every day, countlessly

I hope you won’t remember as much as I do

I hope you’re better than me

Oh today and tomorrow" -I added in the lyrics.

 

Finally, the missing piece. i'll set this as the chorus of the song,

The lyrics are now completed, so i started constructing the chords on my guitar.

Now i'm almost done, i need to think a title for this song,

While double-checking the lyrics, never realized that this song is too sad, but i think this is way better than the song i composed before.

Well honestly, i started working as a composer and a writer because of Jessica, she became my inspiration, and all of my songs were always dedicated to her.

The first ones i composed were sweet love songs, but then recently, all the songs i'm composing right now became sad and have deep meanings. 

 

"Dongyi!" Someone opened the door, and it was the manager of Super Blue, Mr. Shin Donghee. We call him Shindong, he say. I've been working in this company for years so i'm quite close to him tho. He always pronounce my name as 'Dongyi' instead of Donghae. 

 

"It's Donghae.." i corrected. 

 

"Oops, sorry. keke~ so how ya doin'?" He leans on the door, and peeks at my notepad. 

 

"Almost done. Still thinking a title for this" i smiled softly.

 

/he then reads the lyrics/

"A sad song again? Seriously?" he crossed his arms. "Mymy.. Love songs have turned into sad and heartbreaking songs.." /sighs/

 

"I'm sorry.. That's how i feel right now, well i wrote this with feelings!" I argued.

 

"You know what, you should really move on. Love someone else already, find new inspirations." He suggested. 

 

I looked down and paused for a while, 

 

"Dong-shi? Hello?" /snaps his fingers infront of my face/ 

 

"Oh what was it again?" I asked, and pretends that i didn't hear him.

 

He moved a bit closer to my face and slowly said "Move. On. Already."

 

So i looked away again.  

 

"Alright fine. Btw, just give me your composition, and i'll be the one who submit your work to the producer, okay?" He turned away.

 

"Copy." i replied. 

 

"Okay goodluck." then he left.

 

Should i really move on? What if she comes back? 

 

I'm afraid of falling in love again, i don't want to be hurt again.

 

The more i think of her, the more my pain grows. 

 

"Hmmm. wait.. I hope? Forgotten? pain grows?"

 

A sudden suggestions coming from my mind

 

 

 

And now i finally got a title for this one.

 

I call this 'Growing Pains'.

---

 

Hello again everyone!~ 

You guys know the song Growing Pains right? It was Donghae who composed that song and it really touches my heart (too much feels) so i decided to entitle this chapter 'Growing Pains' lol. 

Next chapter will be updated tomorrow. 

Btw, i added something on the foreword section, wanna check it out? just click Foreword and you'll see.  

Please do subscribe if you like my story (ahaha) 

Thank you co-shippers!

-ryeong18