Ontae 7. “I almost lost you.”

Warnings:  terminal illness (sobs)

Jinki sat propped up against the headboard watching Taemin next to him; this was more important to him than sleep right now.  The soft glow from the street lamps outside gave him just enough light to make out the younger boy’s features.  He resisted the urge to reach out and touch his face or smooth over his dark hair not wanting to wake him up. 

“I can’t even sleep with the way you’re staring at me.”  Taemin’s voice was soft but it cut through the silence causing Jinki to jump a little.  Taemin’s eyes were still closed but he smirked.

Jinki sank down under the blankets and wrapped an arm around him, nuzzling into Taemin’s hair.  He took a deep breath, taking in the scent of the others shampoo.  All of the little things he had taken for granted before he wanted to appreciate now, to make sure he would remember them.  

“I’m sorry duckie.”  He whispered.  

“I’m not going to disappear you know?”

Jinki kissed the back of Taemin’s neck.  “I know.”  But he didn’t sound so sure.  

All the research he had done at the hospital and everything the doctors had told him did nothing to ease his mind.  He was afraid to even blink, that when he opened his eyes Taemin would be gone.  

The younger rolled over to face him and held Jinki’s face in his hands.  “You don’t trust me?”  He teased.

Jinki wanted to laugh, he really did, but the tightening in his chest and the tears that burned behind his eyelids kept him from it.  “I almost lost you.  I’m going to…you’re…”  He hated how choked his words came out, he wanted to be stronger for Taemin.

“It was just a seizure.  I’m fine for now.”  

“But Taemin…”  Jinki opened his eyes and couldn’t stop the tears from falling.  

“Oh Jinki.”  Taemin pulled his boyfriend into his chest and Jinki clung to him, wrapping his arms and legs around his slender body.

Taemin chuckled despite his own tears welling up.  “You’re like a barnacle.”  

“Don’t laugh at me.”  Jinki mumbled his face pressed against Taemin.  

That only made the other laugh harder.  “My barnacle.  Hold on okay?  Don’t ever let go.”

Jinki held on tighter, balling Taemin’s shirt in his fist.  “Never.”