Ontae 14 “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”

So I made this a part of the Jinki stable boy thingy I started.  You don’t have to read the other two parts to really make sense of it but it might help… Chapter 9 and Chapter 11 here.  Sorry they are kind of all over the place. 

Jinki waited until dawn for Taemin, it was the only time his lover had failed to come to him without some word before.  He saw the light of dawn filtering in through the window and gave up.  On waiting and on sleep.  He got dressed for the day and headed out to the stables.  

He was raking out one of the empty stales when heard the approaching rider.  He rushed from behind the door hopeful that maybe it was Taemin but saw one of the guards, Minho, dismount. 

“Minho.  Good morning.”  Jinki forced a smile and bowed.  The tall man had grown up with him and Taemin and despite his disappointment he was always happy to see the guard.  Minho had worked side by side with Jinki in the stables until he started to show more interest in fighting and sparring as he got older.  

“I wish it were Jinki.”  

The stable boy noticed the look on his friends face and a lump started to form in throat.  His mind immediately went to the worse possible scenario as to why Taemin had not shown up the night before with no explanation.  

“Where’s Taemin?”  He dropped his rake and rushed to the guard.  

“I’ve been sent to you off the grounds.”

“Minho, is Taemin okay?”  Jinki’s voice rose in panic as he searched the taller man’s eyes for a hint of something.  

“Taemin is fine.  But his father…”  Minho continued but through the relief Jinki felt wash over him he didn’t hear the rest of what he had to say.  

Minho touched his shoulder.  “Jinki.  Did you hear me?”

He looked up confused for a moment before things started to register.  Minho handed him a rolled piece of parchment.  “From Taemin.”  

Jinki unfurled the piece of paper and all the relief he had felt slowly started to leave him as everything was sinking in.  

Meet me at the inn above the tavern at the edge of town.  I’ll be there by nightfall.  

Minho also handed him a small satchel and by the sound and weight Jinki knew it was gold.  He shook his head and tried to give it back.  “I can’t.”

“Please, he will be very upset with me if I come back with it.”

Jinki nodded, he didn’t want to drag his friend any farther into the middle than he was forced to be already.

“The horses?”  Jinki looked around the barn.  Despite being forced from away from Taemin and from his home, he was also being taken away from his first love.  His work, his lively hood, his horses.  

“I’ll tend to them when I return.  And be sure someone is found that is suitable for the job.  You have my word.”  Minho knew how much they meant Jinki.  

“You don’t need to take me.  I’ll go now.  Quietly.”

The guard’s brow furrowed.  “I’m afraid I do.”

“I see.”

“I’ll saddle up a horse for you while you pack a few things.”

Jinki packed only what he could comfortably carry, his mind flooded with so many emotions.  Guilt. Shame. Regret.  He was afraid something like this would happen from the beginning, that’s why he kept his feelings to himself for so long.  He wanted to give Minho back Taemin’s note and gold despite the consequences for the guard and disappear from the young lord’s life.  Enough damage had been done already.  If he left now Taemin could move on and erase this part of his past with hopefully no harm done to his name.  

The ride to the edge of the estate was silent.  Jinki took in all the sites of the land he grew up on around him, sure he would never see it again.  He loved this place, he loved the Lee’s.  They took him in, gave him a place and purpose when he had no family of his own to speak of and now he had disgraced them.  But he carried no ill feelings towards them and just hoped that they could forgive Taemin in the end.  That’s all that mattered to him at this point.  

He dismounted, Minho going to the edge of town with him.  Jinki said good bye to his horse, rubbing his nose, giving him a light kiss before handing him a sugar cube, he often kept a small supply in a pouch on his hip.  He held the bridle in his hand for a moment or two, his heart weighted down even further having to turn his back on the animal.  

“I’m sorry.  If I could have helped…”  Minho watched them, a deep frown on his face.  

Jinki smiled.  “I know.  And thank you.”  He sighed, handing Minho the reigns.  “It shouldn’t have come to this in the first place.”

~

Jinki waited at the inn for Taemin, only to give the young lord back his gold and to say a final good bye.  If he were lucky it was only Taemin’s father that knew and he could still move on to the next town for work.  He came from less and would be able to rebuild a life somewhere else eventually.  

Night had barely begun to fall when he heard a knock at the door.  Through all the worries of what would happen to Taemin and where he would go after he left the inn he hadn’t though about what he would say.  As soon as he opened the door he was pulled into an embrace that nearly knocked the breath from his lungs.  Taemin cradled the back of his head as he whispered a million apologies in Jinki’s ear.  

The stable boy held the young lord back and for the first time since Minho came to him earlier he felt like he wanted to cry.  He didn’t want to let him go but he saw no other way.  It had to end.  Taemin pulled back and Jinki fought the urge to hold on and keep him close for just a little longer.  

Taemin looked at him and Jinki noticed cut and bruise on Taemin’s cheek.  He pulled him farther into the light of the room so he could see better.  

“Taemin…”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t come to you last night.”

Jinki cupped his face gently, careful of the swelling.  

“It’s nothing.”  Taemin closed the door.

“Taemin.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry for this, for everything.  This shouldn’t have happened at all, I just…”  He grabbed the satchel Minho had given him.  “Here, I can’t take this.”

Taemin looked at him confused and hurt.  “Jinki, I don’t understand.”  

“All of this is my fault.  If I had kept my feelings to myself none of this would have happened.”

“This isn’t for you.  It’s for us.  It’s all I had a chance to get before I went to my father to tell him I was leaving.”  

Jinki couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  He ran his hands though his long hair and sat on the edge of the bed.  

“My father has been following me for weeks.  Last night he tried to introduce me to my intended, pulling me aside to tell me I could do whatever I wanted on the side as long as nobody found out and I sired a son with my wife.”  

“And that’s as it should be!”  Jinki looked at Taemin desperately as the young lord came to kneel in front of him.

“I love you Jinki.’

The stable boy’s eyes widened.  

“I denounced my family name.  I’m on my own now.”

“Taemin this isn’t-”

“Do you want me?  Tell me that after all this, you still no longer want to be by my side and I’ll leave.”

“But Taemin…”

“Hey, I’m with you, okay?  Always.”

“You’re a young lord and I’m just a stable boy…and we’re both men and it…”

“I”m just Taemin.  And you’re just Jinki.  And no matter what happens, we’re together.”  

Taemin wrapped his arms around Jinki’s waist.  

Jinki returned the embrace, resting his cheek on top of Taemin’s blonde hair.  “It’ won’t be an easy life.”

Taemin couldn’t fight the smile on his face.  “I know.”

“We’ll have to go somewhere that has horses, because that’s all I know.”

Taemin looked up at him.  “Then we will go somewhere with horses.”

“You’ll learn a trade too.”

He nodded to the stable boy.

“You’ll be tired.”

“We both will be.”

“Some days you might be hungry…”

“As long as you are fed.”

“You’ll be cold in the winter.”

“We will keep each other warm if need be.”

“You deserve a better life than I can give you Taemin.”

“If you’re not with me Jinki then I’m not worthy of anything this life has to offer me.”