Part 13

By the time Taeyeon have stopped crying, it was already around five o’clock. Both of them are exhausted from all sorts’ emotions they had released that night. Feelings they have kept deep inside their hearts for years has now been freed. Their chests feel light. They no longer feel the heavy burdens of their past mistakes. Laying on the bed; with dried tear stains on their cheeks and messy hair, the clothes they have worn since yesterday has not been change at all. Jessica grunts quietly upon waking up. Her whole body is in pain. She was about to shift to the other side of the bed when she realizes someone was lying on top of her.

“Huh?” She looked down to see a very messy short haired woman sleeping peacefully with her head on her chest. A smile of relief and happiness slowly spread across her lips as her fingers gently play with the strains of Taeyeon’s soft hair. Oh, so beautiful. She thought. This woman- this wonderful human being, finally freed from her ‘cage’. The small voice she heard last night has been stuck inside her mind like a replay.

She feels proud. Well, it’s not because she is able to cure the patient everyone has failed to cure. She was proud because Taeyeon was finally facing her fears. All the traumas she had been avoiding can no longer scare her. Jessica is also facing her fears. She is fighting the same battle as Taeyeon. Together, they are facing this world, as each other’s saviours. “Hmm.” Taeyeon quietly whined as she slowly lifted her head up. Jessica could not help but to chuckled at the cute gesture. Taeyeon stares at her for a short few seconds before feeling embarrass all of the sudden. In a clumsy attempt, she quickly hid her blushing face on Jessica’s chest.

“Hey, that tickles.” Jessica laughed. She tried to lift her head up but Taeyeon grabbed onto her clothes to keep her face on her chest. Her eyes are puffy from all the crying. She did not want to show it Jessica. But, her dear therapist did not care. To her, Taeyeon looks beautiful; no matter what. “Look at me,” Jessica softly called Taeyeon as her fingers went through her soft hair to her ears- slowly rubbing the reddish ears with the tip of her thumbs.

Taeyeon lifted her head up little by little to meet with Jessica’s loving gaze. They look into one another’s eyes before Taeyeon went up a bit higher to have her face close enough to her lover. Their noses slightly touched as their eyes are close; enjoying the warmth and comfort of the hug they share. “Good morning.” Jessica greeted. She waited a bit, to see if Taeyeon would answer her. She can feel Taeyeon tensing up a bit- perhaps feeling nervous to say a word. Jessica’s hand went to caresses her cheek. It was signalling her that it is okay and she no longer needs to be afraid.

Taeyeon her dry lips. With a slow, anxious voice- she speaks. “G…good morning...” She couldn’t response much when Jessica leans in for a short, loving kiss on the lips. It’s funny how bad breaths doesn’t seemed to be a problem for people who are in love. “I love your voice, Taeyeon.” Jessica said. It’s true; she wants to hear Taeyeon’s voice every day. She wants to wake up and listen to her greeting with a smile. She wants to listen to her laughs or hear her angry tone if she messes up. It sounds ridiculous. But Jessica did not care. She is deeply in love with Taeyeon and would not hesitate to spend her whole life with her.

“I love everything about you.” Jessica complimented Taeyeon even more. “Even your flaws, I love it all.” She stares at the petite woman, gazing her eyes down to her nose and then her lips. Oh, too beautiful. I’m flummoxed. Those were her thoughts.

“I- I- love you.” Jessica’s gaze shifted back to Taeyeon’s glistening eyes. With her small hands, she reaches out to Jessica’s cheeks, caressing her soft, milky white skin with her thumbs. “I- love you.” Taeyeon sounded like a child trying to learn to talk but the words are meaningful enough to make Jessica see her genuine feelings.

“Good.” That is the only word that came out from Jessica as she leaned forward once more to kiss Taeyeon. This time, it is a passionate one. Taeyeon shut her eyes tightly as she feels the tingling sensation all over her body. She can feel how Jessica is slowly getting rougher. Their tongues started playing as they breaths get heavier. Jessica’s hand slides down to Taeyeon’s petite waist while the other hand is at the back of her neck.

“Oh- this is not good.” She thought. They just reconciled last night. Taeyeon finally spoke after years of silencing herself. They are supposed to take things slow. Very slow. But, how can she hold herself back? Her senses are just telling her to do it. Will Taeyeon be afraid of her? Is this even the right thing to do at the moment? A lot of questions were unanswered inside her mind, leading Jessica to be able to pull away from Taeyeon.

“I’m- sorry. You must be scared.” Jessica felt guilty. She should not be doing this. Taeyeon just got better. She needs to give her space and comfort to get herself be able to talk freely without hesitation. But, what happened next is unexpected. Taeyeon bravely pulls Jessica close and kisses her passionately; making her heart filled with butterflies. “T-Taeyeon…” Jessica grunted in a low voice. Taeyeon’s gaze changes, it’s no longer innocent and pure. It’s filled with desires and urges. Jessica is surprise, but not too much. It is expectant Taeyeon is now showing her other side; the old, adult self that has been casted aside for a while now.

“I, I want it…” Taeyeon said in such a quiet voice but still can be heard by the other. “I want to be loved.” Without hesitation, Jessica holds tightly onto Taeyeon’s small waist and flips her to the other side in just a matter of seconds. She is now at the bottom whilst Jessica is on top. They both can feel how heavy their breathing is. They knew. They are both very much aware they wanted to do it for God knows how long. But Jessica is still hesitating and Taeyeon can see it very well inside her eyes.

“If you...are worried about...Soonkyu, d-don’t be.” Taeyeon softly spoke. She pulls Jessica down for a short kiss before giving a smile. “I love her...But now, m-my heart belongs to you.”

[BGM – Love Me Like That by Sam Kim]

Jessica’s eyes immediately sparkle at the words and she leans down to kiss Taeyeon once again with all her heart. Her hand slowly slips inside of Taeyeon’s cloth, slowly reaching up to her . She anxiously started fondling Taeyeon’s as her fingers play with the erected . Taeyeon is in between their kisses. How can Jessica’s touch be so tender? It makes her heart fluttering. Jessica went from kissing Taeyeon’s lips to her neck; her hand skilfully stripping her partner half . Taeyeon’s skin is not as pale as before but it is still milky white. She looks beautiful.

Taeyeon pushes Jessica away for a short few seconds to pull off her clothing as well; revealing her bare chest. Her slim fingers slowly trail down from Jessica’s collar bones to her abdomen. Oh, how smooth her skin feels. She reaches to the scar she has last seen, it ever so gently. Just like the scar, Taeyeon’s trauma is still there. But not like it used to be. Someone came to save her. A woman she never expected to come barging into her sorrowful life and helped pulling her out from the dark hole she had been stuck in for years. Jessica is her saviour and lover. With a sweet, gentle smile, Taeyeon wrap her arms around Jessica’s neck and they both lean for another kiss.

It is a memorable experience, their first intimate bond as lovers, in which they will always remember.

***

It is around 4.45 P.M; Tiffany is currently at Yoona’s flower shop. After the incident yesterday, she had promised the flower girl that she would tell everything that happened between her and Jessica that night. How she managed to bring her back to the apartment. Of course, it was within Jessica’s permission. She thought Yoona, too, should at least know about her past. “I see.” Yoona replied shortly as she leaned onto the soft sofa. She sighs, feeling a bit guilty for thinking Jessica was being selfish. Well, things were chaotic yesterday. Everyone lose their sanity due to multiple emotions.

Tiffany sees the guilt shown in Yoona’s eyes and reaches out to hold her hand. Yoona flinches due to the sudden touch. She looks at Tiffany who smiles sweetly at her. “You don’t need to feel bad. It’s not your fault either. You were worried about Taeyeon.” She said. Yoona did not reply and just nodded her head. Tiffany averted her gaze to the hand she is holding- she can clearly see the bruises on it. It must have been a heavy blow she thrown at Jessica yesterday. She sighs as she gently pulls Yoona’s hand closer to her so she can have a better look at the bruises. Yoona’s eyes widen and she quickly looks away, hiding her blushing cheeks.

“You should really treat these bruises. It looks bad.” Tiffany said in a lower voice. She leans a bit closer before giving a gentle blow on the purple bruises on Yoona’s knuckles- making the woman sitting next to her to pull her hand away in anxiousness. Tiffany tilts her head in confusion as Yoona tries hard to cover her red face.

“I-it’s okay. I’m used to it. It’ll heal sooner or later.” Yoona faked a cough to clear the tense atmosphere (at least for her) before looking at Tiffany again. “Want more tea?” She asked and stood up to make another cup of hot, fresh tea. She skilfully makes the scented drink while Tiffany just sits on the couch, watching her.

“Hey,” Tiffany called for Yoona to look at her. “I’ve been coming at this flower shop for the past few years and noticed that not many customers come here. I can imagine the incomes of this place.” She said bluntly. Yoona chuckles at the sudden statements. “Well, it’s not much but- I’m perfectly alright with it.” She replied and smiled. Tiffany is still unsatisfied. She has much more questions in her mind. She has been wondering about it for quite a long time but never have the chance to ask Yoona personally.

Maybe, this is her chance.

“You could just work at other places, you know? There are jobs that pay better. Besides, trying to keep up with a business like this is hard.” Tiffany once again gave out blunt suggestions. Yoona only chuckles at her suggestions. She walks over to the sofa after finishing making the tea. “Here’s your tea.” She said. The red-headed woman just sighs quietly and takes a sip of the hot drink. It is indeed tasty. Not bitter, not too sweet, perfectly balance for her palette.

“You make good tea.” She complimented making Yoona smiling again.

“She had taught me well.” The reply made Tiffany feels curious. Well, somehow, the mention of another ‘she’ makes her a bit bitter inside. She doesn’t know why, but it made her quite jealous.

“Ah, you must be talking about your ex partner.” She said. But her face shows clear sadness and disappointment. Yoona notices it too quickly. Well, mainly because Tiffany cannot really hide her emotions that well. Her expression always shows what she feels. That’s one of her charms, Yoona thought. A playful smirk spread across her lips as an idea to prank her beloved crush comes in mind. “Yes, I’ve dated her for quite a bit. She is indeed a very good woman; beautiful, kind and gentle.” She faked a dreamy gaze making Tiffany to actually fall for her act.

Jealousy...  That’s the current expression Tiffany is making right now. She bit the corner of her bottom lip and pretended not to care; which she obviously failed to do. “I see. She must be- an amazing partner.” Her voice tone has changed. Tiffany, herself, didn’t know why she is feeling this way. For years she has been around Yoona, she never has the thought to like her at all; at least not in the ‘special’ way. She is only a friend- that’s how far their relationship goes.

Yoona tries so hard trying to hold back her laughter and keeps a straight face. “I guess you can say that. She’s the most amazing... on bed.”

“No, she’s not!” Tiffany suddenly raised her voice. Yoona turns to her with an amuse smile while Tiffany just slapped shut her own mouth. Why did she even yelled, she thought anxiously. The moment Yoona mentioned about how amazing the intimate moments she had shared with her past lover makes Tiffany boils inside. She starts to wonder if she is actually jealous. No way.

“Really...?” Yoona suddenly went closer making Tiffany stumbles back on the sofa. The younger woman bravely went on top of her; her hand firmly placed besides her head; her eyes staring deeply into Tiffany’s. “How do you know she is not amazing on bed?” She spoke with such a quiet, low voice it makes the woman below her shudders.

“I—I don’t know. What a—are you doing?” She nervously said and tries to push Yoona away but the woman quickly took a hold of her hand, slamming it down onto sofa just above her head. Tiffany’s heart rate went up crazily.

“You’re making me impatient.” Yoona leaned down, closing the gap between them. Tiffany did not know why. She feels she should just push Yoona away again but for some reasons, she did not want to. She actually wanted to feel Yoona’s lips. She wonders how it tastes like. It must be soft and sweet. She shut her eyes and awaits the kiss. But all she heard afterwards is a burst of laughter. She opens her eyes only to see Yoona just laughing at her.

“I’m just messing with you, silly.” Yoona said in between her laughter. She gets off from Tiffany and leans back at the sofa. “I got you good.”

Tiffany, in disbelieve and very much embarrassed by her own desires, quickly gets up to hit Yoona very hard on the shoulder. “Ouch-.” “That’s what you get for messing with me!” She quickly turned away from Yoona with arms crossed.

Ah, she took it too far with her little prank there. Yoona awkwardly rubs the back of her neck and gently pats Tiffany on the arm with an apologetic looks. “S-sorry, I went a bit far there. I was just playing around because... we never really get to tease one another.” It is true though. Yoona knew very well Tiffany has no intimate feelings for her. For the past three years, she is just blindly following her without hoping for her feelings to be returned. She never teases Tiffany nor makes fun of her. She thought she should never cross that line. But, earlier, upon seeing the jealousy on Tiffany’s face encouraged her to cross the line for the first time.

“I won’t do it again.” Yoona once again apologized.

“Is it true...that she was amazing in bed?” Tiffany shyly asked. She doesn’t even know why she even bothers asking such a question. It’s stupid. Yoona got taken back a bit before she laughs it off. “No, I never dated anyone. I just say that to tease you.”

Tiffany turns around at Yoona with wide eyes. “What? That was a lie!?”

“Yes, it was a lie. I never have any lovers.” Yoona calmly replied making Tiffany frowns.

“Then, where do you learn to make teas then?”

Yoona smiles for a short moment before it faded. She leans back on the sofa with a real heavy sigh this time. The memories are fresh as the morning flowers. As if it just happened not too long ago. It was back when Yoona was still a gang member. Often times, she would have the enemies from other gangs attacking her out of nowhere. She got used to fighting and eventually the larger amount of fists could never beat her. She always won until one night a member from an opposite gang came attacking her with a knife.

She was fast, but not too fast to dodge the knife. She got stabbed on the stomach. In a hurry, she used all her remaining energy to run away as fast as she could. She did not know where she was going but she does know she had to escape from those filthy enemies of hers. Alley after alley, she arrived at somewhere quiet. She was sweating and her whole body was feeling cold. The blood was staining her clothes even more as the wound became worse. She was coughing a lot of blood at this point.

. Was she going to die right here in this dark, wet and cold alley?  How pathetic. One of the strongest gang members ended up passing away at such a petty place. She cursed silently as she leaned weakly on the wall with a bloody stabbed wound. Her eyesight was starting to become hazy and her whole body felt cold. She was feeling heavier and heavier. She was going to pass out really soon and maybe, she won’t wake up anymore.

“You messed up really bad, did you?” A voice spoke out. Yoona tried to stand back up but her legs betrayed her. “F...” She wanted to curse yet she was losing her voice. It wasn’t long until she fell onto the concrete floor. Her eyesight soon turned dark. She had completely passed out.

Well damn, goodbye world. I died in the most pathetic way.

Yoona grunted. Her head felt heavy. Her whole body ached. She tried opening her eyes and slowly looked around at the room. It was too blurry. She doesn’t know where she was currently at. She did not die, that was for sure because she can feel the temperature of the room. Her memories were hazy. But she still remembered what had happened before she passed out. She got stabbed and she passed out at an unknown, dark alley. But, she doesn’t remember anyone coming to save her.

“Finally, you’re awake.” A raspy voice spoke. It was familiar. Yoona blinked a few more times to clear out her sight and finally got to see at least a clear appearance of the person sitting next to her. She quickly got up but only to sink back in defeat when she felt an absolutely horrible stinging pain on her abdomen. She cursed silently. “Don’t get up just yet. Your wound is still in a bad condition.” Yoona looked at the elderly woman sitting next to the bed. She had thin, grey hair and a wrinkled face. She was wearing a pair of round glasses that fitted her quite well.

“Who are you? Where am I? H-how did I end up here?” Yoona shot so many questions that the elderly woman ended up chuckling. “Don’t laugh at me or else-!”

“Stop your threats. I’m no longer afraid of it. I got used to it.” She calmly answered. Yoona got taken aback by how relax she was upon seeing a gang member in front of her. Either she was too old to even recognized one or she simply thought Yoona was vulnerable due to her injuries. She took a cup of water from the table and gave it Yoona. “Drink up. Do not worry, I won’t poison you.” She said, as if she was reading Yoona’s thoughts.

Yoona hesitated at first but feeling the burning thirst on made her push the idea that this elder woman was trying to kill her. She snatched the cup from her hand and quickly drank all the water inside. The woman just smiled softly as she stared at Yoona who soon asked for another cup of water.

Due to her injuries, Yoona had to hide there for a while. She cannot risk her gang members to come here and got ambushed by enemies. All she can do was to contact her closest ally to inform her location. “Usually, people just leave people like me bleed to death.” Yoona said as she stared at the elder woman. She was busy picking the flowers; making a beautiful bouquet that was requested by a customer earlier on. “I’m not that cruel.” She simply answered. It still did not satisfied Yoona’s curiosity.

“You could’ve called the ambulance. They’ll pick me up and I’ll be arrested sooner or later. You won’t waste time trying to take care of me then. It’ll stop the hassle you’re currently going through.” Yoona stated her opinions. To her, it does not make sense. Why this elderly lady would take the hardship to take care of her? She was nothing but a crook. The elderly woman sighs softly as she gently puts down the flowers in her hands. She stood up afterwards walking away without a word.

Yoona scoffed, suspecting she must have gone to call the police or any authorities to arrest her. But, unexpectedly, she came back only to bring a frame along. She sat back down next to the confused Yoona. “He won’t be happy- no, we both we will be unhappy if I ever did that.” She then proceeded to show Yoona a black and white picture of a young man and woman. Yoona raised her eyebrow, not understanding the purpose of showing the picture.

“My husband used to be in an infamous Japanese-Korean gang back then. He was one of the most fearsome members and people were afraid of him. He had no mercy, they say. He would kill anyone he wanted. Well, that was how the rumours went.” She paused for a short few seconds before continuing on. “I, on the other hand, was a young woman from quite a wealthy family. I was set off to marry a Japanese nobleman. I never love that man but it was a responsibility I should take to keep the family’s noble status.”

“Then, what happened?” Yoona asked.

The elderly woman let out a soft laughter. “My father had an unsettled debt with the gang’s leader. That was the reason why he wanted me to marry that noble man. They’ve made a deal that he would help him settle the debt. However, the gang couldn’t wait for that day to come and proceed to send one of their trusted men to kill me as a warning. That was the plan originally but I guess, it never happen. We’ve met and we both fell in love with each other on first sight. It was such an incredible feeling; the fluttering butterflies you felt inside your heart.”

Yoona stayed quiet; signalling her to continue on with the story.

“The thing is marrying a half Japanese would make you a traitor back then. But, I do not care. We both wanted to be together. Our love was so strong that we were willing to sacrifice our own souls to the grim reaper itself. He... ended up quitting the gang. But, it is not without a consequence. Quitting the gang meant death. But, the gang leader acknowledged everything that he did for the gang. So, in exchange for his life being spared, his right hand was cut off clean.”

Yoona cursed silently. It was not because she was grossed out, but she was admiring what he had done to be with the woman he loved.

“I, on the other hand, betrayed my own family by running away from home. Well, I was already pregnant with our first child so I would’ve been disowned anyways. We’ve made so many preparations and ended up being able to leave to a faraway place where we have raised our children. We lived a happy and peaceful life. It was not grand but it was fulfilling. Unfortunately, he passed away before he reached 50. It was the most painful day I’ve ever experienced. I can still feel the sadness of losing him until now.”

Yoona stared at her. She turned back at the photo; thinking will she ever is able to live like that? Yoona has been running around doing these illegal crimes for as long as she could remember. She could not see a life that is...peaceful. It seemed impossible. Then, she remembered that woman she met; her mind just going over that image of her addictive sweet smile and how cute her clumsiness looked. She wondered; was that her first love or it was just some feelings caught up because she was feeling alone?

After being bed-ridden for a while, she was able to walk on her own. However, her wound had not yet fully healed and it was still painful for her to get up to go anywhere. That day, she decided to go out of the room. She was too bored to just laid around on bed and read those old mangas. With a slow pace, she made to the front of the building where during the day, operated as a flower shop. Yoona had noticed there were not much customers. Besides, she was already old; she should be living with her children.

But, upon saying that, she simply smiled and replied “it was the only thing that makes me feel like my husband is still here.” Apparently, her late husband always gave her fresh flowers every day. He even learned to become a gardener, so he could build a beautiful garden for her where they would spend time when they were old. Strange how love works. A bell rung indicating someone had come in. Yoona was being cautious hence she quickly hides behind the wall.

“Hello, Miss Hwang.” She greeted. Yoona heard her talking with a customer of a familiar voice. She decided to take a peak and her eyes widen upon seeing Tiffany was standing there. She was having short conversations with the elderly woman with a sweet smile on her face. Beautiful, Yoona thought as she unconsciously stared at the raven-haired woman from the corner. She was so mesmerized by her beauty.

“I will be going now, see you soon.” Tiffany bowed politely before leaving. Once she was gone for good, Yoona hurriedly went to the elder woman at the counter; not caring about her stinging wound. “G-grandma Tamako, h-how did you know her?”

“I can feel your piercing stare from behind the counter.” She said with a teasing tone. Yoona realized she had been staring intensely at Tiffany earlier on and it immediately made her blushed furiously. Grandma Tamako laughed at her. “She works nearby. She would come here sometimes to greet me and give me some sweets. She is so adorable.” She explained.

“I- I see.” Yoona slowly turned away to sit at a nearby chair. So, Tiffany works not far from here. She wonders if she can have the chance to meet her again. Ah wait. She cannot meet her. Even if she wanted to, it would be really risky. Not when the enemies are still lingering around to track her down. Grandma Tamako noticed the sad expression she had and sighed softly. Yoona may not tell her but she was very much aware of her love for Tiffany from just a glance.

Just like the old days.

After almost a month living at the flower shop, Yoona had recovered and now able to move well. She had asked her trusty subordinates to pick her up but quite far from here. She could not risk being seen here. It would endanger Grandma Tamako’s safety. Yoona was standing at the back door. “Thank you for taking care of me. Your kindness will never be forgotten. Our men will send you the payments.” She said with such formality and bowed politely. Grandma Tamako did not say a word and hung a scarf on Yoona’s neck making her to lift her head up.

“It is going to be cold. Please do keep yourself warm.” Grandma Tamako said. Yoona stood there, suddenly feeling loved. It was weird. She rarely felt that way. The last time she did was...during her childhood days. She bit her lower lip; somehow her eyes were getting a bit teary. Has she been attached to Grandma Tamako after staying there for a while? Maybe she was missing the feeling of just being a normal person; the one who comes home to a loving family after a tiring day at work instead of a gang member who runs around fighting for to protect the boss’s fortunes.

“You can come here whenever you want. We can have dinner together.” Grandma Tamako smiled as she gently caressed Yoona on the cheek. Yoona knew she shouldn’t be coming back. It was dangerous. Besides, the only reason stayed in the first place because she was injured badly. She never meant to have a bond with an unknown elderly who suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Despite all the things she had told herself, she ended up nodding her head with a smile.

Yoona found herself going to the Grandma’s Tamako flower shop almost every night. Whenever her subordinates questioned her, she always answered the same, “stay out of my business.” The payment that the gang leader had given to Grandma Tamako was used to buy ingredients so she could cook dinner for Yoona. The old room Yoona stayed were given new furniture so she can stay overnight whenever she wants. There would be days she would be lucky enough to see glimpses of Tiffany walking pass by the shop. She could only stare at her from a far though.

“You’ve been gone a lot at night these past few months.” The gang leader spoke. They were at the main headquarter. Yoona stood there silently; her eyes however do not show any signs of fear or anxiousness. That was the sole reason why the gang leader had put her as her trusty ‘assistant’. She was not scared of her despite of the things she could’ve done to her. “Some of the members have been seeing you going to that old lady’s place. It was...an occasionally visitations.”

“Yes, I’ve been meeting with the owner almost every night.” Yoona replied calmly.

The gang leader scoffed. “You do know neglecting your duties would cause you death itself. You swore loyalty to gang until your very last day. That is why you are currently having that symbol tatted on your skin.” She stood up and threw the cigarette bud onto the floor harshly before grabbing a pistol on the table. She proceeded to point it at Yoona’s head. “You dare to put me aside for a silly old lady?”

Yoona clenched her fist and grabbed end of the pistol. She pulled it closer to her forehead as she stared intensely at the gang leader’s soulless eyes. “I rather you shoot me now than having to hear that talk about Grandma Tamako again.” They stared at each other for a good few seconds before the gang leader finally pulled away the pistol and hit Yoona with the barrel. Yoona did not fight back. She just turned back at her with a sharp gaze as she wiped the blood on her lips.

“ing hell, you are damn crazy.” The gang leader laughed loudly as she clapped her hands amusingly. She grabbed Yoona’s hand and gave her the fully loaded pistol. “Those pathetic sides of yours do not deserve to stay here anyways. However, I would not simply let you go. One last task just for you, do it right and I would spare that old~ lady’s life. Your life... well, let’s just see afterwards.”

Yoona took the pistol and walked out of the office after receiving her last job as a gang member. That night, she infiltrated a gang’s territory. She knew she could die. Perhaps, that was the reason why she was sent there, to get herself killed. “P-please...have mercy.” The helplessly dragged his two broken legs as he crawled away. Yoona slowly approached him; like a lioness about to devour its prey. She stepped on his ankle. He screamed in pain.  There was one last bullet in the pistol.

“Please!” He begged. However, Yoona had to put aside her humanity and let the devil emerged from the inside of her. She pointed the pistol with a straight expression. “Take a nice nap.” Those were her last few words before shooting him on the head on point blank.

“I did as you ordered. I’ve fulfilled my duties.” Yoona threw the emptied pistol on the table. Her clothes were stained with blood. She looked at the leader with such a serious expression it made her burst out laughing. She applauded Yoona for obeying her last orders.

“You were dead serious about quitting, huh?” She smirked. Yoona tried to not lose control of her anger and continued to stay silent despite the provoking look she received from the leader. She knew she was trying to make her caused a scene that will make her get kill. She held on the urge from punching her straight on the face. The leader realized her last provocation failed. She could not convinced Yoona to neither stay nor force her to get herself kill. She was her best subordinate. It was such a shamed she chose a different path.

“From now on,” She took the hot iron from the fireplace and approached Yoona. She tares her shirt wide opened; revealing the gang’s symbol that was tattooed on her chest. “You are no longer a part of us. But, you did risk your life to bring this gang all the way to the top. As the leader, I have decided to spare your life in exchanged for everything you have done.” Yoona saw the sadness in the eyes of leader for a short moment but she immediately got distracted when she felt the hot iron burning her skin. Her symbol was burned and tainted permanently with a scar. She will forever be reminded she was freed.

Grandma Tamako opened the door to see Yoona who was standing there in a complete mess. She was surprised at first but she soon smiled at her. She gave her a tight hug. “I’m proud of you.” Yoona hung her head low as tears fell. “I’m home.” The elderly lady patted her head lovingly and they walked inside; leaving Yoona’s past life behind.

It was a bright Tuesday morning when the bell rang and someone walked into the shop. Grandma Tamako was nowhere in sight but a new face was standing at the counter. She gave a gentle smile as she bowed at the customer. “Hello, I’m Yoona. I’m the new staff here.” She introduced herself. Tiffany shyly bowed in response and for the first time, she smiled at Yoona again. “I’m Hwang Stephanie. I worked at the office building nearby. Is, um, grandma Tamako here? I came by to drop by some desserts for her.”

“A-ah, she’s actually at the back, just arranging some flowers. Do you want me to call her?” Yoona asked. Tiffany shook her head and put the brownish paper bag down on the counter-top. “I’ll just leave it here. There’s lots of it so you two can share!” She smiled brightly. Yoona stared at her silently as a smile slowly spread across her lips. Tiffany got awkward by the quiet atmosphere. She thought Yoona was acting weird.

“I’ll be...leaving now.” Tiffany hurriedly bowed without making it obvious and turned her heels around to the door. Yoona chuckled at how stiffed her posture looked.

“Hey,” Tiffany slowly turned back around to look at Yoona. She lifted the brown bag mid-air with a smile. “Thank you. It’s nice to be meeting you…again.” Her last words do not make sense at all. It made Tiffany even more creep out that she wanted to quickly dismiss herself. She gave a quick nod and an awkward wave before running off with baby steps. Yoona stared at her until her figure disappeared from her sight. She takes a peek at the freshly baked sweet breads inside the paper bag. It smelled good and Tiffany as always looked as beautiful as ever.

***

Tiffany stares at Yoona in total disbelief. She thought for sure she is joking with her again with this preposterous story. But, seeing her expression, she is convinced that it was not a lie. Yoona was telling her the truth about her past. The room becomes quiet. Yoona is just leaning on the sofa. Tiffany continues to just gaze over her. Suddenly, the silence is over when Tiffany opens .

“Show me.” She said. Yoona raises her eyebrows with a confused look. “S-show me....” She repeated her words. It took a few seconds for Yoona to finally come into a realization. They look at each other, as if their eyes have forgotten to blink. The air feels heavy. But, they keep it going with their hearts beating rapidly. Yoona gulps while slowly exposing her collarbone and then her chest where the burned scar itched itself onto her skin. Tiffany gasps at the sight of it.

She sees the tattoo’s edges that were not completely stained by the burned. The scar was as huge as her palm. It was that big. She could imagine Yoona being feared by people when she walked down the street back then. But, she left all that behind in order to have a normal one. She was willing to risk her life to stay by Grandma’s Tamako side.

“We’ve met before.” Yoona spoke. Tiffany lifts her head to look at her in the eyes. “Before we met here at this place, I first met you at the restaurant. I was awed by your beauty. But after talking to you, I knew for sure...that I really wanted to get to know you. But, well, I can’t because I was a bad person back then. I could not afford to hurt you or anyone because of my dirty work. Grandma Tamako saved my life and she was kind enough to offer me a home. She gave me the love and affections I had missing all my life. Grandma Tamako may have gone now. I’m on my own...yet I still have you. It is scary but if having you to be a part of my life, even your responses often times would you be irritated or annoyed by me, I will always love you even if you can’t love me back.” Yoona confessed. Tiffany has heard this for the past few years; her declaration of love and loyalty to her.

Yoona was rejected by her many times but she still comes whenever Tiffany is in trouble. Whenever she has problems, Yoona will always be there listening to her nags and complaints even as ridiculous as her morning coffee spilled on the new carpet or how she got pissed-off at a new for incompetency. She came on the day Tiffany broke down by Taeyeon’s sudden disappearance and she never left. Why didn’t she anyway? She could’ve gone to look for other people to fall head over heels for. Yoona is beautiful and she has the personality that makes her likeable in an instant.

Yet why did she still staying around here, breathing and heart beating, for Tiffany?

“You’re making me feel guilty.” Tiffany spoke in a low voice.

“It’s my own choice to stay.” Yoona responded.

“But- you could’ve go and look for another. There are- many women out there willing to date you. You’re beautiful-.” “You think I’m beautiful?” Yoona interrupted and it made Tiffany to be taken aback by her words. She tries to not fluster over it but it was too obvious. She cannot hide it.

“I won’t fall for other women. I only have my eyes on you.”

“For God’s sake, stop trying to make things awkward here.” Tiffany’s heart beat so fast. She cannot even control it. It felt like it could just jump out from the inside of her chest.

“I’m only telling you the truth.” Yoona spoke so softly that it made Tiffany blushes furiously. She could not say a word. Nothing comes into her mind. Her eyes just continue to stare at the woman in front of her. Yoona feels she should stop making things awkward. She rather has Tiffany be comfortable with her than just sitting stiffly next to her.

“Let’s just forget about it.” Yoona started buttoning her shirt back when Tiffany reaches to hold her hand. She looks at her. Tiffany seems confuse and fluster. Yoona felt sorry. “H-hey, I’m sorry if I made you feel awkward.”

“I don’t get it. I don’t understand at all.” Tiffany spoke with a tone Yoona never heard of. She sounds confuse and lost. As if her whole thoughts are piling up in a puddle. “I didn’t accept you because I couldn’t take the idea of dating a woman as something normal. I could never understand how you can fall in love with a woman…despite being a woman. Even though I have a best friend that loved a woman, I just can’t grasp that concept!”

“You don’t have to-.” “I rejected you over and over again. I said I could never be interested in women. But, you’re still willing to be my friend. I know how much it can hurt you when your love is not accepted. It annoys me that you’re still here with me, as if you have absolutely nothing to be sad about. You’re staying for a woman that doesn’t even want you!”

“Tiffany, I get it. You don’t need to say these things. You shouldn’t feel bad or anything.” Yoona tries to calm her down.

[BGM- Lover’s Oath by Yu-Peng Cheng, Hoyo-Mix]

“It irritates me…how you can be so loyal. How you stay true to your words all these years. I hate that.” Tiffany held Yoona’s hand tighter out of frustration. “But, I’m more annoyed at myself. I can’t even be truthful with my own heart. I wanted to see you more often. I enjoyed spending my time being there with you. I couldn’t understand why I become eager to meet you again the next day. I want to hear your stories and I want to see that stupid smile of yours. I even liked that annoying cute voice you always do to joke around! I hate that I came to love all these things! I kept telling myself that I will never, ever have feelings for a woman and yet I get more and more attached to you.”

Yoona looks at her; her doe-eyes could did not even blink. She suddenly got quiet. Nothing came across her mind. She seems to be too surprise by Tiffany’s sudden outburst of confessions to her. Tiffany slowly lets her head falls softly onto Yoona’s shoulder. “I don’t get it, Im Yoona. How can you just make me feel this way and expect me to forget about it?” She mumbled. Yoona wrap her arms around Tiffany and pulls her close in an embrace. She gently caresses her hair while Tiffany just holding the hem of her shirt.

“Jeez, you’re so unpredictable.” Yoona said and chuckles.

“Shut up.” Tiffany responded shyly.

“You…don’t have to accept your feelings if you don’t want to. It’s hard to understand when our hearts suddenly changes course. I don’t mind being around you. Take your time to figure out how you truly feel.”

“Idiot…” Tiffany whispered under her breath. She hates how she is being too nice to her. She hates it because she could not help but to admire her even more.

Suddenly, a familiar ringtone echoes through the quiet room. It was Tiffany’s phone ringing. They let go of each other and put a gap between themselves. Tiffany feels slightly awkward for showing her childishness earlier on. Yoona clears as she buttons up her shirt back again. Well, it was an unexpected so no wonder the tensed up after realizing what they just did. Tiffany reaches her phone on the table and picks up the call.

“Hello?”

“It’s me, umm, Jessica.”

Tiffany straightens her posture upon hearing the voice. “Hey, I didn’t expect you to call me. How are things going?” After she left last night with Yoona, she never knows what happened to Taeyeon. She assumes the two is still working it out with each other after the whole fight.

“I’m sorry for not calling you sooner. A lot…has happened.” Jessica clears . She was actually embarrassed after remembering what she just did with Taeyeon. She looks at the woman who was sleeping peacefully on her bed. She swears after she could talk again, she has been bold. Well, she is an adult and of course she has no problem just laying there with her whole back is bare. Jessica is the one struggling from holding the urge to just pounce her and just gives trails of bite marks on her skin.

“Jessica?” Tiffany called out after the other line went silent all of the sudden.

“Oh, s…sorry about that! Well, I managed to make things okay. Actually, Taeyeon…wanted to see you both. She acted out of control and she felt bad.”

“I’m glad you’re both alright. Of course, we can go there right now.”

“Ah! No, n…not now…Haha, no.” Jessica panicked and tried to sound calm after that when she realized she had raised her tone unconsciously. Seeing the condition of her bedroom after that ‘session’ with Taeyeon and both of them looking like a mess, there’s no way she would want them witness it. “You guys can come at dinner. Around eight?”

“Okay, we’ll bring some desserts for us. See you tonight.” Tiffany said and ended the call after Jessica bid her goodbye too. She puts down her phone. With a stiff move, she turns to look at Yoona; trying to avoid looking directly at her eyes. “It was Jessica. She invited to dinner at her place.”

Yoona nods. “I’ll drive us there then.”

“Y-yeah, that’s a good idea.”

They sit there in an awkward silence. Both embarrass by their actions earlier on.

“Why the hell did we even do that?” They thought at the same time and slap their foreheads in disbelief.

To be continued.

Hello. Finally I've updated. Lmao, I seemed to make it longer than expected. Well, there's not much TaengSic moment and this is more towards YoonFany cause I didn't write much about them. The words I marked with the yellow-ish color are songs that I have in mind when writing. Feel free to listen to it while reading some of the parts :) Anyways, I hope y'all enjoy the latest chapter and hopefully... I'll be able to complete this fiction by January. <3